NEWS AND NOTES

--Two from WPXI: first, they had a body language expert (what?) break down the video of Ben Roethlisberger's statement, and that person thinks Ben's telling the truth. So that's good news, I suppose.

Second, reporter Rick Earle, who's in Nevada, learned that a private investigator posing as an autograph seeker served Ben with the court documents while he was in town for the American Century celebrity golf tournament this month. Which is probably bad news for future Ben autograph hounds. [WPXI]

--The Big Ben case was nothing compared to the lack of coverage by the entire media over the Rick Pitino extortion case. [SPORTSbyBROOKS]

--Colin Cowherd picks Pitt to finish second in the Big East at 10-2 this year, trailing only 12-0 Rutgers, which returns five starters on the O-line. I guess I can live with that. [The Herd's Word]

--The NFL draft is moving to primetime in 2010, with a Thursday-night kickoff. Adjust your lives accordingly. [The Big Lead]

--Pete Prisco ranks Large Ben #4 among NFL QBs, right behind Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, and hero of fantasy nerds everywhere and holder of a 1-2 lifetime record in the playoffs, Drew Brees. Fantastic. [CBS]

--James Walker previews the AFC North, and has this to say about the Champs: "Although the coaching staff won't admit it, few teams need training camp and the preseason less than Pittsburgh." Don't let Casey Hampton hear that. [ESPN AFC North Blog]

--Former Steeler DT flop Orien Harris is apparently worth Raiders WR Ronald Curry in a trade engineered by the St. Louis Rams. [Fanhouse]

--Former Steeler punter Mitch Berger is among a group of past and present New Orleans Saints suing a film studio to try to get their money back from investments they say were never made. Because if there's one thing you care about, it's Mitch Berger's finances. [ESPN]

--What do the Steelers eat at training camp? Turkey burgers and cheesecake...the diet of champions. [WPXI]

--Mark Madden weighs in on the Erin Andrews peephole controversy, in a way only Mark Madden can. [WXDX Mark Madden]

--Bigfoot (the fictitious creature, not the monster truck or the Howard Stern Wack Packer) was recently spotted in Fayette County, which somehow doesn't surprise me in the least. [Cryptomundo]

--And speaking of Fayette County in a more positive light, Johnny Lujack and his Heisman visited the Connellsville HS training facility that bears his name. To the best of my knowledge, Bigfoot was not in attendance. [Herald Standard]

--Dave Dameshek gives us "The Dopple Gang", a collection of lookalikes from the world of sports and entertainment. Carolla and McBeam? Well played, Mr. Dameshek. [ESPN.com]

--Some have snickered at the idea of the G-20 summit being held in Pittsburgh, but it's no laughing matter to residents and leaders of the city. As you know, we are very sensitive to such criticism. [NY Times]

--Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood is going from a daily program to a weekly program on PBS, a decision I'm not happy with one bit. Can't we have an extra telethon or something? [PG]

--Everyone apparently had a good time at the Green Day concert in Pittsburgh on Wednesday night. I was busy that night compiling old quotes from Adam LaRoche, which was obviously just as enjoyable. [PG]

--From DVE.com, it's Julie Bologna's 1992 Internship Scrapbook, with special guest appearances by Jim Krenn, Phil Bourque, and Mike Lange!

Email: Mondesishouse@gmail.com Twitter: twitter.com/mondesishouse Facebook: Facebook Group

STEELERS FREE AGENCY UPDATE

Catching up on this morning's moving and shaking...

--Chris Kemoeatu is re-signed: 5 years, $20 million. Apparently they matched an offer by the Jets, a team that loves to sign Steeler linemen. [PG]

--Looks like Nate Washington might go from the Super Bowl Champions to the 0-16 Detroit Lions. Why? Because Daunte Culpepper is clearly an upgrade over Big Ben, that's why. [MLive]

--The Lions are also taking a look at Bryant McFadden. Maybe they'll sign Mitch Berger, Mike Humpal, and Fernando Bryant too. [MLive]

--The freshly-cut Kendall Simmons is visiting with the Buffalo Bills. We'll miss the sacks of Ben while Simmons watches helplessly. [Blog & Gold, One for the Other Thumb]


--Gang Green is also close with Ravens LB Bart Scott, who once allegedly threatened to kill Hines Ward after a game. [ESPN]

--Kellen "the Soldier" Winslow is now a Tampa Bay Buc. Have fun with this, Raheem Morris: [ESPN]



--Former Steeler nemesis Fred Taylor joins New England, immediately hurting his wrist as he signed his contract. OK, I made that up. Or did I? [ESPN]

--And finally, Gisele officially took Tom Brady off the open market. [Deadspin]

Send your news, tips, and links to Mondesishouse@gmail.com.

The News

--How to settle the Pens' goalie debate? Play them both! That's what happened in last night's depressing 5-2 loss at Florida. Ryan Malone and Kris Letang lit the lamp for the Penguins, who surrendered 19 shots in the first period. Here's hoping that things get back on track for the nationally-televised showdown with Ovie on Sunday.

--I had never heard this before, and apparently it's old news, but yesterday I heard on the Mark Madden Show that Alexander Ovechkin allegedly beat up Evgeni Malkin's agent last summer. That might explain some of the bad blood exhibited earlier this year:

--The Steelers continue to bring in free agents with only $1.3 million in cap room available. So what do they plan on paying these guys with? Kevin Colbert's good looks?

Actually, they're holding $7 million in limbo with Max Starks, and they could renegotiate some contracts. Of course, many people find this cap news surprising, since the Steelers are so famously cheap.

--Terrelle Pryor is supposedly making his college choice by April 1. Of course, he had to pick April Fool's Day, leaving that door open.

--Robert Morris wins their first-round tournament game, 64-50, over Monmouth. FSN jumps on the bandwagon with a telecast of their Sunday semifinal against 16-14 Mount Saint Mary's.

RMU's Tony Lee looks downright scared of whatever's on that ball

--So have you heard about the Tom Brady-Gisele and P Diddy-Sienna Miller videos from the security tapes at New York's highbrow Philippe restaurant?

--We'll close with news once again from Straight Outta Johnstown, which is quickly becoming a favorite of mine: on the new MTV show That's Amore, there are two female contestants from Johnstown, one from Pittsburgh, and one from Indiana, PA.

We're Only Gonna Score 17 Points?

Famous last words from Tom Brady.

Is this a result of The Gisele Curse?

"My Big Mouth": The Blame Lies Within

by Jason Devander

jasondevander@gmail.com

Full Disclosure: I have always had a ton of respect for U.S. Senator Arlen Specter, so I was pleased to see that he brought "Spygate" back into the headlines two days before the Super Bowl.

Even though Spygate has labeled the Patriots as cheaters, I don't think enough blame has been placed on the Steelers for helping create the New England Dynasty.

Yes, it's true...it's damn true that the Steelers have helped perpetuate the Patriots Dynasty. Even though I may be burned as a heretic for pointing an accusatory finger, the Steelers, in some ways, have played significant roles in the last two NFL Super Bowl dynasties.

Case #1 - The Dallas Cowboys - 1990s Edition.

In the 1990 NFL Draft, the Steelers had the 17th pick, and sitting behind the Steelers were the Packers at picks 18 and 19. With new offensive coordinator Joe Walton, the Steelers had their eye on a young tight end who would be a perfect fit for the new offense, and they knew nobody else would take him. So, the Steelers entertained offers at 17, traded down four spots with the Dallas Cowboys, and got a third round pick for their troubles.

The Cowboys used the pick to draft an undersized running back out of Florida named Emmitt Smith. You may have heard of Emmitt Smith from his stint on Dancing with the Stars, but believe it or not, he's also the NFL's All-Time leading rusher.

At 18 and 19, the Packers chose linebacker Tony Bennett and running back Darrell Thompson respectively. At pick 20, the Falcons chose Steve Broussard. Surprisingly, none of these players are in the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Sorry, citizens of Canton, OH, you'll have to wait another year to add these busts.

The Steelers chose Eric Green at number 21, a tight end from Liberty, who was a Pro Bowler and a solid choice before he began to eat too much. The third round pick became OLB Craig Veasey, who played two years with the Steelers and registered 6.5 sacks in his 6 NFL seasons. Not bad if you like an outside linebacker who averages a sack a season.

Most uninspiring rookie card photo ever?

If the Steelers hold onto that pick and take Green at 17, then Smith likely goes to the Packers at 18. From there, we're talking about a Brett Favre/Emmitt Smith/Sterling Sharpe form of the Triplets, and the Green Bay Packers could very well have won 3-4 Super Bowls in the 1990s.

Instead, we got the Triplets of Troy Aikman, Michael Irvin, and Smith for 10 years, enough arrogance from Dallas to make you go Britney on your family -- what? too soon? -- and that nauseating proclamation from the the King of the Helmetheads and Cowboys head coach Jimmy Johnson, "How about them Cowboys!!!"

Case #2 - The New England Patriots - 2000s Edition

Thanks to the game of "What If" I submit to you these plausible, and in some cases ridiculous theories, as to how the Steelers helped the Patriots in the creation of a dynasty.

1. The most obvious: the Steelers had two chances to keep the Patriots Reign of Darkness from ever forming during the 2001 and 2004 AFC championship games. If it wasn't a Troy Edwards penalty, then it was Rodney Harrison picking off Ben Roethlisberger and taking it for a touchdown. Those truths are self-evident.

2. By winning the AFC title game, the Chargers went on to play the Super Bowl against the 49ers and were slaughtered. Because of that ass-whooping, Rodney Harrison and Junior Seau continued to believe they had a chance to win a Super Bowl. If the Steelers had won that game like they should -- I'm looking in your direction Tim McKyer -- then Harrison and Seau would have realized that they were terrible players and either retired or got arrested for some kind of crime like filming midgets having sex and passing it off as kiddie porn. (Ok, long shot, but still plausible.)

3. Bill Cowher didn't do a good enough job in frustrating Mike Vrabel when he was with the Steelers. Vrabel considered retiring from football at one point when he was with the Steelers, and if Cowher had succeeded, New England's defense would be different and maybe not as good. Instead, the Patriots got a highly-motivated linebacker who can catch touchdown passes on the goalline.

4. I refuse to say that drafting Tee Martin over Tom Brady was a mistake at the time. To think that Tom Brady was going to be a great quarterback would be extreme revisionist history, and Martin won a national championship in his one year as Tennessee's starter.

Since I can't go back and change any of these things, I only ask that the Steelers step up and take some blame.

After all, it's the 21st Century: it's always someone else's fault.

Time to Talk Ben and Hines

It has to be talked about. I can't ignore it any more. Of course, I'm referring to the grand debate of who's wrong: Hines Ward or Ben Roethlisberger. And my verdict is in: they're both guilty.

We'll start with Hines Ward, or as Mr. Madden, Super Genius calls him, Whines Hard. Hines was a college quarterback and wide receiver at the University of Georgia and was drafted as a receiver by the Steelers in the 3rd round of the 1998 draft. Hardly the "no one ever gave me a chance" sob story that he would want you to believe. Sorry Hines, but third-rounders actually have a pretty good chance to make the squad. A guy like the undrafted Willie Parker didn't have a chance, and then he ultimately did have a chance anyway. So we can put that long-standing Hines storyline to bed.

Another card played often by #86 is the D-card. And by D, I mean "disrespect". As I researched this story on Pro Football Reference, I was greeted with the header, "4-time Pro Bowler & 3-time All-Pro". He was voted by his teammates as the Steeler MVP or co-MVP in 2002, 2003, and 2005. And he also was awarded the MVP award in a rather big game on February 5, 2006 in Detroit.

As I dug back to his college days, I found that Hines was All-SEC at Georgia. He was co-MVP of the 1995 Peach Bowl and a Bulldog Team Captain in 1997. And high school? Hines scored All-American honors from Super Prep, Blue Chip Illustrated and USA Today, as well as All-State and Super Southern Top 100 honors. Heck, he was even a two-time Clayton County Offensive Player of the Year.

This is a man who's gotten nothing but respect ever since he put on a pair of cleats. An example of no respect, other than Ben Roethlisberger and Rodney Dangerfield, is Jacksonville running back Fred Taylor. Sure, his nickname is Fragile Fred, but the guy's run for over 10,000 yards, 17th all-time and second among active players. How many trips to Hawaii has he made? One, on the NFL's dime. And that will be this year. That's disrespect.

Hines has bellyached every time the Steelers used a high pick on a wide receiver. There was Troy Edwards in 1999. There was Plaxico Burress in 2000. There was Santonio Holmes in 2006. You get the drift. He takes each pick as a personal slap in the face, even though he's outlasted two of the three receivers mentioned in the Steeler black and gold.

And as he just proved, Hines continues to take offense at any comment remotely directed in the direction of his position. The reality is that he shouldn't. He's the Steelers' all-time leader in catches, receiving yards, and touchdowns. He's taken home all of the above honors, such as the Pro Bowls, the All-Pros, and the Super Bowl MVP. In college, his 3,870 all-purpose yards are second only to Herschel Walker in Bulldogs history. In the 1998 Outback Bowl, he set a bowl record for receptions and yardage with 12 catches for 122 yards. He was in the culturally significant Super Bowl Disney World commercial. He went on a goodwill trip to South Korea. He has his own TV show. He's John Madden's wide receiver equivalent of Brett Favre. And he's even been on boxes of Franco's donuts. This is not a person who should be so angry at the world. This is the resume of a future Hall of Famer.

After the Steelers' playoff loss to Jacksonville, I had this to say about the receivers, and in particular, Hines:

Hines Ward and Heath Miller were inspirational to say the least. Their play in the second half was simply unreal, especially Ward, who I haven't seen so irritated by an opponent in some time. 10 catches for 135 yards in the playoffs is a big-time effort. For the record, the great Terrell Owens (2002 vs. Giants) and Randy Moss (1999 vs. St. Louis) have only amassed more than 135 yards in a playoff game once time each. It's also the third time that Ward has acheived 10 catches in a postseason game, a feat neither Moss nor Owens has ever accomplished. So for the people who say the Steelers have no receivers, look elsewhere for your sacrificial lamb.

And I still stand behind those words. Contrary to popular belief, the ticket to the Super Bowl is not always punched with a hulking receiver lining up on your squad. Consider the leading receivers on Super Bowl teams since 2000:

2000 - Ravens - Qadry Ismail - 655 yards

2001 - Pats - David Patten - 1199 yards

2002 - Bucs - Keyshawn Johnson - 1088 yards

2003 - Pats - Deion Branch - 803 yards

2004 - Pats - David Givens - 874 yards

2005 - Steelers- Hines Ward - 975 yards

2006 - Colts - Marvin Harrison - 1366 yards

I wouldn't exactly call that a list of superstars. In fact, the average of these seasons comes in at 994 yards. And this is not a new phenomenon. Of the top 10 leaders in career receiving yards, only three of the 10 men own Super Bowl rings: (1) Jerry Rice, (3) Isaac Bruce, and (5) Marvin Harrison.

Look, the Steelers' season did not end early because of their receivers. It ended because of a horrible offensive line and a defense that bent, bent, bent, and then broke at the most unfortunate times. No one was pointing the finger at Hines Ward. Yet when Ben Roethlisberger was recently asked for his offseason wish list, a "tall wide receiver" came in alongside a new contract, as well as a new contract for Alan Faneca.

Could the Steelers use a tall wide receiver? Absolutely. But should Roethilsberger have made the comment? That's questionable.

The comment itself was innocent. But Roethlisberger should have considered the reaction from his thin-skinned teammate.

If Ward has proven anything, it's that he uses the aforementioned d-card as motivation. At any perceived slight, Ward vows vengeance on whoever he believes wronged him, usually an opponent or the media. This is what's made him such a great player. But it's a double-edged sword with Hines. What makes him great also makes him difficult. And if Roethlisberger didn't realize that his comments might come back to bite him, considering who might take exception to his words, then I find some fault with him.

As a team leader on the field, you can't ask for any more out of Roethlisberger. He gives his all, he plays hurt, and he takes full blame when things go wrong. I wouldn't trade him for any QB in the league. I believe with the right mix of help, he's every bit as good as anyone else.

But there's a stink lingering in Steeler Land. It first reared its head with the team MVP vote, when James Harrison somehow took home the honor from his teammates, who conveniently disregarded the team record for touchdown passes and a QB rating second only to Tom Brady's.

People have debated the impact of this mini-war of words ad nauseam, but it must be said that this is not a good thing, in any way, shape or form. If anything, it's another piece of evidence towards a possible down season in 2008, alongside a killer schedule, key players having to return from injury, and the probable loss of a future HOF lineman.

Mike Tomlin made a lot of good moves in his first season as coach. But he also made some mistakes. Here's hoping that he gets everyone on the same page...and fast. If not, it could be a looooooong season in 2008.

10 Reasons Why the Patriots Will Lose the Super Bowl

by Big Snack and Diego

pierogisnat@gmail.com
pierogisnat.blogspot.com

Well, it's that time of the year again: Super Bowl week, full of endless speculation, interviews, Tom Petty, and lots and lots of hype. It’s all good if your team's in it, but this year ours isn’t. So basically, we’re all just rooting for the Patriots to take one on the chin and looking forward to seeing some new commercials. After the popularity of the Top 10 Reasons to Hate the Patriots (by far my most popular and controversial post). I had no choice but to get at them again, and with that in mind here is this week's Top 10...

10. Week 17 -

Did the game week 17 really mean anything to either of these teams in terms of the playoffs? The answer to that is no, but yet every starter for both teams, on both sides of the ball played the entire game. It proved that the Giants were tough and weren’t scared of the seemingly immortal Pats. The G-Men handled business too, leading into the 4th quarter of the game. The experience of facing the Patriots will help the Giants prepare for the rematch. They’ve dealt with the media blitz, they’ve dealt with Brady and Moss, and they are ready to go. In that game Brady passed for more yards, but Eli passed for 2 more TD’s. Also, the Giant’s red zone efficiency was a perfect 4/4 while the Pats was only 3/5.

See you in Arizona, punk...

9. The Redemption/Upset Factor -

Lets face it, the Giants are probably feeling a little like Rodney Dangerfield here, getting no respect. The opening line for this one had the Giants getting 14 points. That is an outrageously high spread, especially for a Super Bowl. If that’s not enough to get the Giants pumped, then maybe the never-ending media coverage of the heroic Patriots will do the trick. After all that the Giants went through in the off season, retaining Tom Coughlin and losing Tiki Barber, it almost seems like destiny for the Giants: overcoming all obstacles to rise up and win the big one against all odds. 9 Huge upsets to inspire the Giants

Webster’s INT brought redemption for Tynes Sunday

8. The Giants have 2 quality Running Backs -

The Giants have a nice combination of thunder and lightning, if you will, in their two running backs, Brandon Jacobs and Ahmad Bradshaw. Jacobs is basically a refrigerator with legs - dude is HUGE. If you don’t believe me, ask Charles Woodson, who attempted to tackle the big man on the first play of the NFC championship and got totally flattened. The Beast from the East, Jacobs, has stepped in as the main man in NY now that Tiki is busy smoozing with socialites in the media. He has not disappointed, raking up 155 rushing yards and 3 TDs in the playoffs. Jacobs' counterpart Bradshaw is small but much quicker and has ability to take it to the house on any carry. This combo, mixed with one of the best O-lines in the game, makes the Giants' rush game is dangerous and a huge concern for the permeable Pats run defense.

All aboard! Next stop, endzone!

7. The Giants don’t make mistakes -

Turn the ball over to Tom Brady and he will screw you faster than a hooker in a massage parlor. Brady is good, and so is his offense, so making it easier for him to score is about as smart as punching a cop. However, the Patriots have not blown out Super Bowl opponents in the past, winning 20-17 over Rams, 32-29 over Carolina, and 24-21 over Eagles. With those close margins of victory, not turning it over could be the difference maker. The Giants have been winning the turnover battle in the postseason, and it's been paying off for them. Eli has been perfect so far, with no interceptions in the playoffs, and he will need to be perfect once again if the Giants want to come home with a win.

That's it, keep it nice and boring for them Giants...

6. Giants Defense -
The first two weeks of the season, this defense looked like swiss cheese - but since then they have pulled it together. They wouldn’t be where they are now without their defense, especially last weekend when Corey Webster picked off Brett Favre in OT. Defensive coordinator Spagnuolo is the hot assistant coach this year, as his name has been linked to many vacant head coaching positions. Spagnuolo is the head honcho of the ferocious G-Men D, and if they expect to beat the Patriots they will have to make stops on 3rd down and take the ball away. This has seemingly been what the G-Men have been doing all year - putting pressure on the QB with the front 7, which leads to turnovers and sacks. Getting pressure on Brady will be key, but also won’t be easy, thanks to the best offensive line in the game. Defensive leaders Michael Strahan and Antonio Pierce will have their work cut out for them, but they understand a chance like this may only come once in a lifetime. (Or twice in Strahan's case...)

We're gonna get you, sucka...

5. Tom Brady’s walking cast -

Oh you gotta love those pesky camera men over at TMZ, as they snapped a pic of Brady walking to the NY apartment of his girlfriend Gisele. First off, what are you thinking hanging out in NY this week Brady? If I were you I would be a little concerned about getting Tonya Harding’ed while walking the streets - I hope you were watching your back. Now I don’t know if this injury is a concern or not, seeing as there has been so many conflicting stories on the matter, but I do know this is a distraction. A distraction for a team that may be a little too relaxed, kicking up their feet with the perfect record of theirs. If the Patriots worry too much about Brady’s ankle, and don’t focus on the assignment at hand, it could spell upset.

No bodyguard, huh? Hope your packin' some heat, Tom...

4. Plaxico “The Roach” Burress -

Who can stop this lanky SOB? Surely nobody in the Packers secondary could, as Plax had his way with them catching 11 passes for 154 yards. This guy has been hurt pretty much the whole year, but has still dominated, stepping up his play on a weekly basis. Toomer is decent and all, but Plax is definitely more of a big play threat, and yet he still manages to torch corners and safeties to make the big play. He is surprisingly quick for a man of his size and he has excellent hands. I know the Pats have Moss, but he’s been relatively quite this post season catching only 1 pass in the AFC championship. If Burress can stretch the field then the Tom and Randy might find themselves playing catch up.

YMCA!

3. Giants have won 10 in a row on the road -

Winning 3 games on the road in the playoffs is a very impressive feat on it's own, however, winning 10 games in the row on the road is absolutely ridonkulous (yes, I make up my own words). The Giants are the road team in the Super Bowl this year, so they are going for number 11. The only team in NFL history to make a run such as this in the playoffs won the whole thing. (hmmm...I wonder who that was?...Oh yeah, the Pittsburgh Steelers...) So the G-Men are road warriors this season and they have got history on their side, which is good because they are certainly lacking in Super Bowl experience. Coughlin has these guys playing with some good chemistry and more importantly, they believe in themselves, not in the hype.

UPDATE: From reader Mike in Dallas :

There is an inaccuracy in statement #3. The 1985 Patriots were the first team to win 3 road playoff games en route to the Super Bowl when they beat the Jets, Raiders, and Dolphins. The Giants are the 3rd team to accomplish the feat.

For this error, Big Snack and Diego will be fined $500,000 and lose their #1 draft pick next year.

2. 75% of the America will be cheering them on -

I wanted to say the world here, but it seemed a little too substantial. The entire 1972 Dolphins team is on our side, and so are the cities of Jacksonville and San Diego. Its kind of like the Patriots are the evil empire...as our Top 10 reasons to Hate the Patriots showed, there are many reasons to hate this team, but I would say the main one is that no one likes a team that just wins all the time ex. Duke Basketball and Yankees. There is just so much not to like here; the cockiness, the miserable expression on the face of their coach, the stupid humble pie, their obnoxious fan base, and the continual praises from ESPN. (Including that stupid ass corny Brady Bunch Tom Brady segment they constantly show) On the other hand, it will make it all worth while if they lose in the Super Bowl - just to see the look on the face of the Patriots fans and especially those old shriveled up defensive players like Junior Seau, Rodney Harrison, Teddy Bruschi, and Mike Vrabel...it will be priceless.

The only 112 year old player in the NFL...go pop some more roids old man, you're gonna need them...

1. The Super Manning Bros. -

Archie Manning played for the Saints and they sucked. Luckily for him, he has super sperm and he’s 50% responsible for creating not one but two number one overall draft picks in the NFL. Archie might not know how to win himself, but he sure as hell knew how to raise some winners; behold the great and mystical power that is the Manning’s! You wait and see - Peyton got his ring last season, and this year it's Eli’s turn. As I previously stated, Eli has outplayed Tom Brady, and has been the MVP of the 2008 playoffs thus far and only needs one more good game. Then and only then we will see Eli-mania in 2008-09, with him taking the media spotlight away from his big brother. He’ll get the commercials, the bonuses, and hell, he may even date a model/actress himself...I’m thinking an Olsen twin possibly.

Well, there’s our list. Big Snack would leave a prediction right here, but Diego reminded him that he’s the biggest whammy in the world, so to keep the Giants hope alive, I’ll just say Go Steelers, and remember to check our site Pierogi’s N’at, for our daily take on the Pittsburgh sports scene. And thanks to everyone who’s been leaving comments thus far – it’s been entertaining to say the least…

Until next week…

The News

--Sad news from the world of hockey, where the Pens fall to 0-4 against the Philadelphia Flyers this year with a 4-3 loss. At least there was a good boxing match to warm up the crowd.

--At long last, some pics of Dana Jacobson taking a vodka bottle to the face at the now-infamous Mike and Mike Roast. I'd love to know what Trey Wingo was thinking as he watched in the background.

--Great news from Steeler Country: Hines Ward is ticked at Big Ben. Roethlisberger had the audacity to ask for a tall receiver, and Ward shot back, saying, "I don't hear Tom Brady or Peyton Manning asking for that. I don't know, whatever he says. I have no idea. To me, it's a rare combination of receivers out there who are good and tall. We won a Super Bowl, we didn't have a tall receiver then. I don't see Tom Brady caring about who's tall or not. He got Randy this year, but he did it before without him."

I guess Hines missed the part where Brady, who took less than fair market value in his last contract, asked Santa Kraft for an upgrade from the Pats' 2006 troika of Reche Caldwell, Doug Gabriel and Troy Brown. Total coincidence that all of a sudden the team is now trotting out Randy Moss, Wes Welker and Donte Stallworth. Total coincidence.

--It's been 20 years since Jerome Lane sent it in. The PG catches up with him. In case you were wondering, no, he hasn't shattered any other backboards.

--A musical 'tribute' to the Gunslinger in all his glory. Cheesehead not necessary to view and listen.

A MINI-LIST OF TODAY'S TOP LISTS

Top 10 Dangerously Drunk Cities

Top 10 Stupid Criminals of 2007 -Pittsburgh represents at #9!

The Best 2007 Sports Videos

Tomlin's Intensity and Thursday Links

--I've had many an email about the Steelers and a perceived lack of motivation on Sunday. So let me address it. We've been weaned on a spitting, screaming, borderline-maniac roaming the sidelines for the past 15 seasons, and since he's now employed by CBS, we have to deal with the fact that Mike Tomlin is not Bill Cowher.

When taking the entire season into consideration, it's hard for anyone to be critical of Tomlin. He's 9-4 in his rookie campaign and has his team sitting in first place in the AFC North. Sure, the Steelers should have won a few more, they could have adjusted better for the second half on Sunday, and they could've been a little classier in defeat. But given the injuries and the fact that this was a big transition, I'll take 9-4 any day. Remember, it's not a given that coaching changes will work out as nicely as Tomlin has. Ask Atlanta or Miami what they think of their head men. Or should I say head man.

Tomlin clearly has his own style, and Steeler fans have to eventually come to grips with the fact that he can be successful without simultaneously behaving like a raving lunatic when things go awry. Steeler fans seem to have a sense of history/entitlement at certain positions within the organization. For instance, as I've pointed out about 100 times and contrary to popular belief, the Steelers are not entitled to have a bruising, 250-pound Hall of Fame running back on their roster each season. They are not entitled to have a sensible team of front-office decision makers and an owner that doesn't make himself the sideshow. And they are not entitled to have the best defense in the NFL (except when they play the Patriots). Of course, we live in a town where we're also spoiled by having the best player in the NHL for the last 20-odd years, so I can see where we fall into that trap.

Looking at the situation as a whole, we're lucky to have what looks like a good coach, a young, superstar-in-the-making running back, a tough defense, great decision makers, and a legendary owner. We're not going to win with Bill Cowher or Jerome Bettis again. We have men like Mike Tomlin and Willie Parker at those positions, and I'll take my shots with them anytime.

You can criticize the Steelers for a lot of things they did or didn't do on Sunday, but don't pin the loss on Tomlin for not kicking and screaming. That wouldn't have stopped Randy Moss either.

For more on the players' relationship with Tomlin, I highly encourage you to read this article. And wonder what that souped-up ride that Tomlin rides around in looks like.

--Just when the Pens get a little momentum, MAF goes down for 6-8 weeks and Maxime Talbot for 2-4. Is it the Curse of Mark Recchi?

--Who wins a fast-talker face-off: Nick Saban or Bobby Petrino? Don't forget about darkhorse participant Les Miles!

--Doubt About It's "I Want To Fight Tom Brady" post continues to stir the pot.

--Here's Coach Tomlin on Belicheat:

Q: After the game, Bill Belichick had some less-than-complimentary things to say about your safeties. What’s your reaction to that?

Tomlin: I don’t care what Coach Belichick has to say after the games, regarding our performance. I compliment them for a great game and we move forward. His opinions are irrelevant to us, because we focus on what it is we do and how we prepare in moving forward.

--Here's a pretty amazing casting call for a live-action Simpsons movie

--Did you know: the Steelers have a 98% chance of making the playoffs

--Who's the mystery Chicago Bear that's involved with Lisa Lampanelli?

--It's the battle of the big-mouths drafted in 1996: Keyshawn Johnson vs. Terrell Owens.

--The Big Lead calls this 9-year-old "The Next Wayne Gretzky", but since this is Pittsburgh, let's call him The Next Mario Lemieux.

--The K-Fuk Era is finally here!

--Here's your one-stop shop for all the Jessica Simpson-Tony Romo gossip you can stomach.

A LIST OF TODAY'S TOP LISTS...

And courtesy of Time, here's the Top 50 "Top 10 Lists" of 2007

Top 10 News Stories
Top 10 Underreported Stories
Top 10 TIME.com Photos
Top 10 Editorial Cartoons
Top 10 Asia Stories
Top 10 Mideast Stories
Top 10 Religion Stories
Top 10 Crime Stories
Top 10 Oddball News Stories
Top 10 Campaign Gaffes
Top 10 TIME.com Most Popular Stories

Top 10 Movies (Richard Corliss)
Top 10 Movies (Richard Schickel)
Top 10 DVDs
Top 10 New TV Series
Top 10 Returning TV Series
Top 10 Non-fiction Books
Top 10 Fiction Books
Top 10 Songs
Top 10 Albums
Top 10 Live Performances
Top 10 Theater Productions
Top 10 Museum Exhibits
Top 10 Graphic Novels
Top 10 Children's Books

Top 10 Medical Breakthroughs
Top 10 Scientific Discoveries
Top 10 Green Ideas
Top 10 Natural Disasters
Top 10 Man-Made Disasters

Top 10 Worst Biz Deals
Top 10 Best Biz Deals
Top 10 Websites
Top 10 Gadgets
Top 10 Toys
Top 10 Video Games
Top 10 Sports Matches
Top 10 Sports Moments

Top 10 Quotes
Top 10 Buzzwords
Top 10 T-shirt Worthy Slogans
Top 10 Viral Videos
Top 10 TV Ads
Top 10 Magazine Covers
Top 10 Fashion Trends
Top 10 Fashion Must-Haves
Top 10 Breakups
Top 10 Scandals
Top 10 Awkward Moments
Top 10 Animal Stories

Guaranteed

PATRIOTS (13-0) 34

STEELERS (9-4) 13

Surprise! Anthony Smith is not Nostradamus. I know, I'm surprised too. Maybe next week Smith and his secondary cronies will talk about how they held Tom Brady under 400 yards passing, because that's pretty much the only thing they accomplished in a demoralizing, embarrassing 34-13 defeat at the hands of the New England Patriots.

Yes, the Steelers defense stunk on Sunday. How bad was the stench? I believe it was in the film Anchorman that the phrase "like a turd wrapped in burned hair" was coined. If you can possibly imagine it, the defense stunk worse than that.

I like to throw stats around about how high the Steelers' defense is ranked, but unfortunately this is not a game played on paper. It's played by highly-paid professionals. Some shoot their mouths off; some embarrass their team with shenanigans after the whistle. The Steelers had players doing both yesterday.

I/we are constantly on the war path against players and teams that are classless in defeat. I certainly called out the Mountaineers and their maniacal fans more than a time or two last week. But the Steelers were no better. I realize what a frustrating loss this must have been. We're fans and we're taking it hard. But these guys were completely out of control. Late hits. Trash talk. Pushing and shoving. I think I even saw a punch thrown. By the end of the contest, they were bringing back memories of Baltimore's end-of-the-game meltdown against New England a week earlier. Is that what "Steeler Football" has devolved to? I mean, we have no problem calling out thuggery when Cincinnati or the Ravens pull similar acts. It's time to call out our own guys. That's not the way to lose. Frankly, I expected more from a Mike Tomlin team.

Unfortunately, unruly behavior was the least of this team's problems on Sunday. On offense, they were "OK", but not great, and OK doesn't beat New England, at least not when your defense is letting Randy Moss have free reign in your secondary. It's a team loss, and the Steelers did not get it done on either side of the ball on Sunday. They couldn't score enough points to win, and they couldn't stop the bleeding from the Patriots' numerous body blows. The coaches never had an answer for Brady, Moss, or Welker, if one even exists. And the special teams, as usual, was of little help. But hey, we only gave up 22 yards rushing.

I thought Ben played a "B to B-" game - not his best, not his worst. Fast Willie had a productive afternoon, racking up 124 yards on 21 carries. And Hines Ward contributed on a minor level (would've been nice if he could have cashed in that TD). On the other hand, it was clear that Santonio Holmes was not himself. Further down the depth chart, Nate Washington showed why he's Nate Washington, with some exquisite non-catches in the second half. At least he's consistent in his awful play. Maybe he'll guarantee a victory against Jacksonville next week.

I'll spare you a paragraph lauding the Patriots, because frankly I'm sick of hearing about them, no matter how fantastic they are. Phil Simms was taunting me the entire game to turn down the sound, as he rambled on and on about Patriot stories that had neither a point nor any comedic value. The Pats are a tough team, they've earned their record, and they definitely have a shot at going undefeated. They are hated because they are successful, because fans of opposing teams are jealous, and because the media has gone above and beyond the necessary means of saturation (newest examples: 1. ESPN's Bottom Line scroll on Friday reading...NFL...NBA...PATRIOTS... and 2. ESPN officially titling all Patriot stories "Pursuing Perfection").

They're also hated because they too are a group of classless and smug individuals. Tom Brady enjoys sitting on his high horse with his cute "Well done is better than well said" quote; but where was he when teammate Rodney Harrison was fined 5 G's for taunting the Ravens last week? Is that the same Rodney Harrison that was suspended for using HGH? Yeah, I thought so.

The Patriots are no band of choir boys. From their cheating coach on down, they're an organization that's liked only within the geographical territory known as New England. And even there, they're not top banana. Most residents of that area are more concerned about which Cy Young Award winner they're going to buy before they call the Yankees the Evil Empire in the next breath. But that's a different soapbox for a different season. I acknowledge the Patriots' greatness and their accomplishments, but my dislike for them has never been greater.

Now, on to some bullet points on the game and Sunday's action around the league:

--CBS walked a real tightrope. While watching the dramatic end of regulation in San Diego-Tennessee, we got the "contractual agreements..." message from the network, warning us that they would be leaving that game for the Steelers game very soon. Luckily, we got to see San Diego score the TD that would ultimately send the game into overtime, although we were already into Commercial Land when the PAT went up.

Can you imagine if we would've missed the beginning of the Steelers-Patriots, though? Yinzers would've probably burned down KDKA. Pomps would have surely feared for his life.

--The game opened with that Kill Bill instrumental. Is it me or is that song a bit played out by now?

--I'm convinced that wasn't really Troy Polamalu on the sidelines. It was either a body double or Tom Hanks reprising his Castaway role.

--Speaking of Tom Hanks, I see in today's commercials that he has a new movie coming out, featuring Philip Seymour Hoffman, also known as the long-lost brother of ESPN Radio 1250's Eddy Crow.

--Unintentional Comedy Highlight of the Day: Jim Nantz proclaiming that "Santonio was grimacing in pain", later brought up in the game when I asked where Santonio was and my brother reminded me that he was probably still grimacing. When he said that, who else out there thought of this guy?

--My Phil Simms disgust hit its pinnacle when Brady's sure TD pass went right through the hands of The Best Receiver in Football. Simms literally said that Brady through it too perfectly. Of course, minutes later, in a trademark Simms gay innuendo line, he said that Moss "couldn't handle the high, hard one". Apparently, neither can Nate Washington.

--From the fashion file: no sunglasses for Coach Cool, and no hoody for Coach Homeless Man.

--The Steeler D clearly had no answer for the Patriots passing attack. Was I the only one who thought Lawrence Timmons should be inserted into the game to step on Tom Brady?

--It's around this time of the NFL season that the commercials really start to get to me. In the past, it's been "Viva, Viagra!" or "This is ouuuuuur countrrrry". This year, I'm being gradually worn down by those way-too-intense people driving their Cadillacs (Does your car turn YOU on?). And a new favorite is the Citi commercial with the kid who looks like Adam Morrison. His big Christmas gift to his mom? Buying himself a suit. Real thoughtful, jerk. Go back to Gonzaga and take your outside shot with you.

And while I'm at it, can the PA Lottery please spring for a new commercial? That "Best Wishes From the Lottery" spot featuring the carolers is ancient. I'm sure the old, bearded newsstand owner wearing a Belichickian hoody is long dead. Don't know what I'm talking about? Watch any Pittsburgh TV station and you'll probably see it in the next 30 seconds.

--My condolences to all the angry 60 Minutes fans who had to endure the final 6:46 of the Steeler game. I like how the Steelers were literally playing ball-control down 21 points, clearly to avoid any further embarrassment that the Patriots surely would have attempted.

--From Don Banks' SI Snap Judgments:

"Towing a banner in its wake, a small plane circled Gillette Stadium in the pre-game hours before the Steelers-Patriots. The banner read:

Bonds: 756*Belichick: 3 Super Bowl Wins*

Best I could tell, Don Shula wasn't piloting the plane. But who knows, the Hall of Famer might have paid for it."

--Two quick "seperated at births" for you:

1. The Jacksonville Jaguars are the Pitt Panthers basketball team. They're both really good year-in and year-out, but they never seem to get to the next level. For Pitt, they can't break through the Sweet 16. For the Jags, they're a perennial 2nd place team in the AFC South. And as long as things stay the same, we can continue to make that analogy.

2. Donte Stallworth = Alfonso Soriano. Both of these young men are individuals with loads of talent. So why do they move from team to team to team? If you're a great, young player, teams usually find a way to hold on to you, especially in Soriano's case, when he was on the Yankees. There has to be more to the story in both cases.

--Detroit lost again, and you know what that means: they can only win nine games at the most, crushing Jon Kitna's prediction of at least 10. So that's two guarantees that went by the wayside on Sunday.

--Is there an NFL by-law that says Green Bay's defensive backs must always wear dreadlocks?

-Other than Pats-Steelers, there were some real blowouts on Sunday:

Indianapolis 44, Baltimore 20

Denver 41, KC 7

Minny 27, San Fran 7

Seattle 42, Arizona 21

Buffalo 38, Dolphins 17

Jacksonville 37, Carolina 6

Packers 38, Oakland 7

Yep, it looks like some teams have already closed the books on 2007.

--So the Steelers take on the aforementioned NFL version of the Pitt Panthers hoops team next week. Anyone care to offer a guarantee on the outcome?

Wrapping Things Up

--A Seahawks fan travelled to Pittsburgh to watch the SBXL rematch a few weeks ago. Did he survive? This is his story.

--Yeah, we're just going to pretend that Penguins game never happened last night.

--The Pens' 3rd period was so bad, it made Matt Ryan barf at the BC-Va Tech game.

--So who might be getting traded in the NFL's offseason? If I were Chad Johnson, Jason Taylor, or Derek Anderson, I might not put a down payment on that new house just yet.

--Did you know that Jonathan Papelbon once traded a signed baseball for naked pics of some guy's wife?

--Here's a great NBA Eastern Conference Preview, with each team's drug/alcohol equivalent.

--Speaking of the NBA, former Pitt Panther Mark "Pass the" Blount is on the move again.

--Remember, Tom Brady could've been your team's quarterback. But we didn't need one in 2000, with Kent Graham and Kordell holding down the fort.

--Quote of the day: 'This year, the University of Texas athletics department will for the first time spend more than $100 million." (scroll down their page a bit for the story)

--For $25, the Excused Absence Network will provide you with a fake (but authentic looking) excuse.

--From the "Headline Says It All" Department: Scores Strippers Uninvited to School Halloween Party

--A major Elvis memorabilia collection was destroyed in the California fires.

--Long Island soccer mom gets bad directions to the game, Long Island soccer mom hits her daughter’s soccer coach with a folding chair for giving her the directions.

A LIST OF TODAY's TOP LISTS

The 5 Unsexiest Women Alive

Illegitimate Offspring: The 10 Most Tenuously Connected Movie Sequels

The 12 germiest places in your life (You really have to read this)

TOP 10 SIGNS THAT THE SIXERS WON'T CONTEND AGAIN THIS YEAR

Gisele Strips, Golic Ate Bad PB, Pippen Returns, NFL Mock Draft, Who Plays Anna Nicole, 70s Haircuts

Many a reader sent over the tidbit that Tom Brady squeeze/supermodel Gisele is now taking stripper classes for his enjoyment.

Looks like Mike Golic ate a little too much of the Salmonella-flavored peanut butter

The readers of "ESPN Conversation" take on the CBS-Bill Cowher marriage. Our favorite family man can now spend about 20 weekends with his family...Boomer Cowher, Shannon Cowher, Dan Cowher...

Are the playmaker's days with ESPN numbered? Admit it, you'd miss him.

Scottie Pippen is considering a comeback. Seriously.

SI's Snap-judging Don Banks gives us a new NFL mock draft, with the Steelers trading their first-round pick to Washington for T.J. Duckett. Wait, that's John Clayton's mock draft.

$126 million dollar man Barry Zito decides now is a good time to tinker with his mechanics. What in the name of Hilary Duff is going on here?

Skippy Reed is wishing everyone a Happy Valentine's Day.

Much like their characters, it looks like the ratings for Lost have disappeared.

New Mexico's newest innovation in the battle against durnk driving? Talking urinal cakes.

The 10 Greatest Interviews in WWF/WWE history, with video. This takes me back to the days when my idea of happiness was saving up enough cash for a Rowdy Roddy Piper wrestling figure. (warning: this page has been taking a loooooong time to load)

Charlize Theron the early favorite to play Anna Nicole Smith in the inevitable biopic. Howard Stern will not be playing Howard K. Stern.

If you're in need of a new hairstyle, consult this scan of a 1970s Ebony magazine. Being a businessman, I personally have chosen "the executive" for my new look.

J Peezy in Vegas, Scary Al Davis, Terrelle Pryor is Awesome, An Oscar for Borat?

NFL:

Ever wonder what Joey Porter does in the offseason? Would you guess sending $900 bottles of champagne to the ladies all night at OPM in Vegas? (in the sightings column)

Scariest picture of Al Davis you will ever see

Tom Brady, three days into an internet porn binge of historic proportions

Falcons: "Vick is our starter". Even though he had a modified water bottle he wouldn't surrender and has an alter ego. He's the kind of guy you build a franchise around.

The Bengals are mad at Johnathan Joseph, the 9th member of their team arrested. Overheard in the Bengal locker room: "We can sweep 8 arrests under the rug, but 9, that's just waaay too many."

Donovan McNabb is unhappy with the Eagles. I think he should have Mama make him some Chunky Soup and he'll feel much better.

The Patriots: chokers. Tom Brady: will never win a Super Bowl. (This gets the Mondesi 5-star recommendation. A must read.)

COLLEGE FOOTBALL:

Great piece on Terrelle Pryor, potential Pitt Panther, already being compared to local greats like Marino, Arrington and Dorsett. Remember two things: 1. He's a junior. 2. He also plans to play college hoops

COLLEGE HOOPS:

Dick Vitale has a problem sticking to the script

RANDOM FUN STUFF:

Joe Francis, creator of Girls Gone Wild, was sentenced to two years probation and 200 hours of community service. I can see the infomercial now: Girls Gone Wild: Girls of Community Service

Oscar nominees are out, and yes, Borat was nominated for an award

Monday Morning Wrapup

Buffalo 21, Miami 0- The Bills pull to .500 despite no 78-yard TDs from J.P. Losman to Lee Evans. Miami confirms their status as THE enigma team of 2006, as they are shutout by Buffalo after shutting out New England the week before. I guess they weren't able to get audio tapes of Losman's cadence like they did with Tom Brady.

Packers 17, Lions 9- Sounds like an incredibly interesting game. The Lions are in perfect position to draft in the top two again in 2007, and I'm sure they'll screw up whoever they choose. For all the top picks they've had, they should have the NFL version of the Penguins by now.

Titans 24, Jags 17- Don't look now, but Tennessee has crept up to 7-7 behind five straight wins. In a game reminiscent of Steelers/Raiders, the Titans win behind 98 yards of offense. But pundits will simplify the poor performance by saying, "That Vince Young...he finds a way to win!"

Jets 26, Vikings 13- In a curious bit of programming, CBS switched to this game with the Jets up 13 and 2 minutes to go here in Pittsburgh. I really did enjoy watching Tarvaris Jackson heave throws blindly into the end zone, though. Any team that allows Chad Pennington to throw for 339 yards deserves to lose by at least 13, if not 130.

Patriots 40, Texans 7- Tom Brady unleashes 107 yards of passing on the Texans, and puts last week's 78-yarder into distant memory. The Pats manage 230 yards of offense, Houston counters with 198. This will not be confused with tonight's Colts-Bengals showdown.

Bears 34, Bucs 31- The vaunted Bears defense allows 31 points to 3rd-string QB Tim Rattay and the Bucs. Between the Tank Johnson Gun Arrest/Bodyguard Murder and Tommie Harris' season-ending injury, all of a sudden the Bears' D looks vulnerable. Meanwhile, Rex Grossman continues to frustrate fantasy owners across the country who benched him, throwing for 339 yards and 2 TDs.

Rams 20, Raiders 0- No Randy Moss, no Jerry Porter, no Lamont Jordan, no crappy offensive coordinator, same result for the Raiders. I would say they're the worst team in the league, but they have some legit players on D, so I give the crown to Detroit...for now.

Chargers 20, Chiefs 9- A Herm Edwards team disappoints down the stretch. Imagine that. Can someone please answer this question: Why did Kansas City want Edwards so badly? I know...they wanted to hear "Hello...you play to win the game!" speeches on a regular basis.

Ravens 27, Browns 17- The Browns' plan was simple: step on Steve McNair's hand, force him out of the game, and intercept Kyle Boller for the remainder of regulation. The only problem with their plan: they're the Browns. Derek Anderson continued to audition for Charlie Frye's job with another L, so he's right on track. In other news, Ray Lewis did not call Kellen Winslow any homophobic names after the game.

Eagles 36, Giants 22- For some reason, I believe we've had every Giants game broadcast in Pittsburgh this season. It's a nice way to cleanse the palate between a Steeler game and Sunday night's Maddenisms (such as this week's "no yard pass"). It's also wildly enjoyable simply for the reason that we can watch Team Coughlin find a new way to lose on a regular basis. This week's Eli Manning "sack/interception/TD return" combo to ice it for the Eagles was breathtaking.

Redskins 16, Saints 10- Reggie Bush revolutionized the game by touching the ball 12 times for a total of 33 yards. But the Saints still clinched the division, so I guess they got the last laugh.

Steelers 37, Panthers 3- I just needed another forum to announce that Edmund Nelson said on the KDKA postgame show that Kendall Simmons missed a few games due to rugburn. No, it was actually falling asleep with an ice pack on his foot, but thanks for trying, E.N.

Anthony Morelli gets death threats- I would assume none were from Pitt fans who were upset he decided to go to Penn State.

American Pie: The Naked Mile: There should be some rule that requires sequels to have at least some connection to the original movie if they plan on using the name. Other than the presence of Eugene Levy and the use of the "Stifler" name, I see very little in common with the first three American Pies. There's no Jim, no Finch, no pie. I'm surprised a movie based around a premise of naked college girls would be advertised during NFL games, as if men were watching.

Monday Morning Wrapup

Bingles 27, Raiders 10- The Bengals now have as many wins (8) as players arrested, on the heels of CB Deltha O'Neal's DWI on Saturday. On the Raiders side, Randy Moss was injured in this game, so he now has an official reason to mail it in for the rest of the season. By the way, has anyone checked out Moss's 2006 stats lately? 42 catches, 553 yards, 3 TD. How the mighty have fallen.

Eagles 21, Redskins 19- Line of the Day: T.J. Duckett: 3 carries, 1 yard. Can't wait to see him in the black and gold in 2007.

Ravens 20, Chiefs 10- According to the announcers, the Chiefs hadn't lost a home game in December since 1996. On this day, the Chiefs looked like a team that hadn't won a game since 1996. And it wasn't as close as the score would indicate---the Chiefs' lone TD was a Gruden-esque stat-padder in garbage time.

Falcons 17, Bucs 6- Cadillac, Cadillac, wherefore art thou Cadillac? What has happened to the once-proud Bucs RB? The guy who started his career with 434 yards in his first three games? Today's 20 carry, 48 yard effort was his eighth game of less than 50 yards this season. Offensive lines, my friends. Offensive lines.

Jerious Norwood and Warrick Dunn both left early for the Falcons, and early reports are that Norwood could be lost for the season. So if it wasn't scary enough proposition to trust Michael Vick with a good running game to fall back on, try trusting him without a good running game to fall back on.

Vikings 30, Lions 20- If you're looking for amusement, check out the Lions' rushing stats:

Arlen Harris: 1 carry, 0 yards

Kevin Jones: 9 carries, -3 yards

Team totals: 10 carries, -3 yards

Giants 27, Panthers 13- Chris Weinke throws for 423 yards as Jake Delhomme's replacement, but the Panthers managed just 45 yards on the ground. Backup QB, no running game...do you see where I'm going with this, Steeler fans scouting their next opponent?

Jaguars 44, Colts 17- I love when they discuss Peyton Manning on CBS's set. Boomer Esiason always compares him to Dan Marino, and Marino usually looks like he's ready to punch Esiason in the face. If the building pressure of Manning's lack of a postseason legacy wasn't enough, they were exposed for an absolutely horrendous rush defense by the Flying Del Rios. 375 yards rushing? Did they hire Paul Rhoads in Indy?

Dolphins 21, Patriots 0 - Tom Brady: 12 for 25, 78 yards? Outplayed by Joey Blue Skies? Is this Bizarro NFL Season?

Titans 26, Texans 20- The city of Houston gets Vince Young rubbed in their face as he ends overtime with a 39-yard TD run. I know Tony Romo is a great story (before Sunday night), but has any QB change affected a team more than Vince Young in for Kerry Collins? Not only did he completely revive a franchise and their fans, he's done it in dramatic fashion. And while missing team flights, to boot! Maybe he should pretend he dates Jessica Simpson to get some attention.

Cardinals 27, Seahawks 21- Matt Hasselbeck throws for 243 yards and three touchdowns behind the nourishment of his Mom's Chunky Soup, but the Hawks can't overcome a determined Cardinal team playing for a lame duck coach.

On another note, the Seahawks are still waiting for the arrival of WR Nate Burleson, who they signed to a $49 million contract when one of their executives was drunk. That would be the only plausible explanation for a guy who has 15 catches after 13 games.

Bills 31, Jets 13- Buffalo plays the role of spoiler, forcing Chad Pennington into two interceptions while winning their sixth game. That's as many wins as the defending Super Bowl champs, you Marv Levy-bashers.

Packers 30, 49ers 19- The difference in this one was the two yards rushing from former Steeler Noah Herron. Or not. Brett Favre continues to excel since he arranged for Aaron Rodgers' foot to be broken, thus locking Favre in as the starter at least through 2007. That guy just loves to play football. He's a real warrior.

Chargers 48, Broncos 20- Ladainian Tomlinson sets the single-season touchdown record as the Chargers dismember their division rivals. San Diego got a great game from their defense, which boasts two players who have been busted for steroids (Shawne Merriman and Luis Castillo) and another who was arrested on five felony drug counts. They're like the Bengals in training.

Saints 42, Cowboys 17- A great night of John Madden and Al Michaels on NBC. Late in the first half, Madden proclaims Drew Brees "a football player". As we come out of halftime, Michaels goes on a classic rant about the lingering smoke of the halftime show. And following Reggie Bush's 3rd quarter TD, Michaels spews this gem about the Houston Texans fans: "They must be thinking, what in the hell were we doing passing on this guy?"

Despite the fact that he has small hands and smells like cabbage, the Saints' Karney (Mike) went for three touchdowns in the romp. Drew Brees continued to try and steal the MVP from former teammate Ladainian Tomlinson, throwing for 384 yards and 5 TDs. And Tony Romo...he kinda sucked tonight.