The News

--The Penguins were shut out by Philadelphia in a sloppy regular season finale (sans Sidney Crosby), setting up a first-round playoff matchup with Ottawa. Game One is Wednesday at Mellon Arena. Good tickets not available, unless you feel like dropping a minimum of $149.

--The Pirates' Home Opener is this afternoon, and Mondesi's House will have in-person coverage later this evening.

--Moon's John Calipari goes for his first championship tonight against the Kansas "Almost Blew a 28-Point 1st Half Lead" Jayhawks.

--Ian Snell fans 10 in the Pirates 9-2 victory over Florida. The Buccos sit at .500, the hallowed mark that everyone wishes for. No so great, is it?

--After his hot March (1 game), Adam LaRoche is 2-22 on the season.

--Jack Wilson is on the DL, so enjoy your glimpse at Brian Bixler.

--Three bloggers have died in the last few months of heart-related conditions. What can I say? It's a dangerous job.

--ESPN.com will do all they can to prevent criticism of Emmitt Smith. Try all you want, it's still going to happen.

--Did you know that 34 pizza shops in New York City claim to be famous/original Ray's?

--A Johnstown man stole $40 and a donut from Donut Connection, but he didn't make it too far.

--A Dick Vitale Hooters ad was pulled from the Final Four program.

--Is Rich Rodriguez to blame for Pacman Jones & Chris Henry? Let's just say "he didn't help."

--Questions about Derrick Rose seem to bother Derrick Rose...especially when they aren’t directed to Derrick Rose.

--Auburn DL/LB Quentin Groves pulls no punches: he wants to be a Steeler.

--Anyone care to explain what's on Jake Peavy's hand?

--Former Pimp/LB Richard Seigler takes his act to Canada. The football act, I presume.

--The Wedding Singer musical is coming to Pittsburgh. Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore are not.

--Megan from Johnstown won MTV's That's Amore last night. Straight Outta Johnstown is quite thrilled.

--Michael Vick=Paul Crewe.

--Hollywood legend Charlton Heston dies at 84.
--A 145-year-old secret, worth $20 million, lies buried somewhere in the Dents Run area of rugged Elk County. Or not.
--Cracked.com is looking for a caption to match this bizarro photo:

A LIST OF TODAY'S TOP LISTS
Top 7 - Famous Fast Starters in Baseball
The 10 "Best" 1980's Cable Access Moments
The 10 Funniest Workout Videos
7 Weird Superheroes Who Won't Ever Hit The Silver Screen (But Should)
25 Toughest Athletes
The Bizarre History of 10 Common Sayings

The News

--It was a bitter end to the Pitt Panthers' season on Saturday night, certainly raising the old question of "how much energy do they burn in the Big East Tournament?"

Today, the PG looks back on what was a fascinating season, noting that seniors Ronald Ramon and Keith Benjamin won 101 games, went to four consecutive NCAA tournaments and won a memorable Big East championship while at Pitt.

--At least the Pitt women are still alive, as they face off against Baylor in the second round.

--This Steelers controversy isn't going away anytime soon. However, Steigy says that there is no double standard.

--In the "last week's news" department, the Steelers will play the Bills in Toronto in August, continuing the trend of pro sports leagues exploiting Pittsburgh and Buffalo teams in unconventional settings to sell tickets.

--Trying to get a status report on Sidney Crosby from the Penguins? Good luck.

--TMZ has what might be the greatest Bill Belichick picture ever:

--Straight Outta Johnstown interviews Megan from 'That's Amore'

--Penn State LB Tyrell Sales: innocent!

A LIST OF TODAY'S TOP LISTS

19 ways for soccer to become more popular in the U.S.

Great TV and movie scenes told using only typography

8 "Self-Help" Books That Will Do Nothing of the Sort

5 Certifiably Insane Politicians People Still Voted For

5 Campy Facts About The 1960's Batman TV Show

30 Error Messages You Never Want to See

The 10 Lamest Dinosaur Names

The News

--How to settle the Pens' goalie debate? Play them both! That's what happened in last night's depressing 5-2 loss at Florida. Ryan Malone and Kris Letang lit the lamp for the Penguins, who surrendered 19 shots in the first period. Here's hoping that things get back on track for the nationally-televised showdown with Ovie on Sunday.

--I had never heard this before, and apparently it's old news, but yesterday I heard on the Mark Madden Show that Alexander Ovechkin allegedly beat up Evgeni Malkin's agent last summer. That might explain some of the bad blood exhibited earlier this year:

--The Steelers continue to bring in free agents with only $1.3 million in cap room available. So what do they plan on paying these guys with? Kevin Colbert's good looks?

Actually, they're holding $7 million in limbo with Max Starks, and they could renegotiate some contracts. Of course, many people find this cap news surprising, since the Steelers are so famously cheap.

--Terrelle Pryor is supposedly making his college choice by April 1. Of course, he had to pick April Fool's Day, leaving that door open.

--Robert Morris wins their first-round tournament game, 64-50, over Monmouth. FSN jumps on the bandwagon with a telecast of their Sunday semifinal against 16-14 Mount Saint Mary's.

RMU's Tony Lee looks downright scared of whatever's on that ball

--So have you heard about the Tom Brady-Gisele and P Diddy-Sienna Miller videos from the security tapes at New York's highbrow Philippe restaurant?

--We'll close with news once again from Straight Outta Johnstown, which is quickly becoming a favorite of mine: on the new MTV show That's Amore, there are two female contestants from Johnstown, one from Pittsburgh, and one from Indiana, PA.