The News

--Sad news from the world of hockey, where the Pens fall to 0-4 against the Philadelphia Flyers this year with a 4-3 loss. At least there was a good boxing match to warm up the crowd.

--At long last, some pics of Dana Jacobson taking a vodka bottle to the face at the now-infamous Mike and Mike Roast. I'd love to know what Trey Wingo was thinking as he watched in the background.

--Great news from Steeler Country: Hines Ward is ticked at Big Ben. Roethlisberger had the audacity to ask for a tall receiver, and Ward shot back, saying, "I don't hear Tom Brady or Peyton Manning asking for that. I don't know, whatever he says. I have no idea. To me, it's a rare combination of receivers out there who are good and tall. We won a Super Bowl, we didn't have a tall receiver then. I don't see Tom Brady caring about who's tall or not. He got Randy this year, but he did it before without him."

I guess Hines missed the part where Brady, who took less than fair market value in his last contract, asked Santa Kraft for an upgrade from the Pats' 2006 troika of Reche Caldwell, Doug Gabriel and Troy Brown. Total coincidence that all of a sudden the team is now trotting out Randy Moss, Wes Welker and Donte Stallworth. Total coincidence.

--It's been 20 years since Jerome Lane sent it in. The PG catches up with him. In case you were wondering, no, he hasn't shattered any other backboards.

--A musical 'tribute' to the Gunslinger in all his glory. Cheesehead not necessary to view and listen.

A MINI-LIST OF TODAY'S TOP LISTS

Top 10 Dangerously Drunk Cities

Top 10 Stupid Criminals of 2007 -Pittsburgh represents at #9!

The Best 2007 Sports Videos

The News

--Pitt beat #6 Georgetown at the Pete on Monday night, but since everybody gave up on the Panthers already, I guess no one is interested...

But seriously, Pitt is ranked #4 in the RPI, behind only North Carolina, Memphis, and Tennessee. So you shouldn't write them off just yet. Keith Benjamin and Razor Ramon poured in 18 points each, and DeJuan Blair added 15 and 9. The Zoo was a-rockin'.

Plus, for an added bit of sizzle, ESPN showed a shot of Mike Tomlin sitting next to Luke Ravenstahl at the game. No word on whether or not Ravenstahl snuck his way into this sporting event.

--How far do you think Pitt will go in the tournament (assuming they make it, of course)? Vote in this week's new poll, on the right sidebar. Last week's poll results illustrated your belief in the 2008 Steelers, as most readers went with the optimistic "9-12 wins" prediction.

--The Pens downed the Rangers 4-1 in a feisty matchup at the Igloo. Evgeni Malkin notched another hat trick and Adam Hall fought Jordan Staal's brother. That ought to make quite the uncomfortable locker room.

--The Steelers are targeting several positions for the draft: offensive line, offensive line, offensive line, offensive line, and offensive line.

--Deadspin reminds us that LT still hates the Patriots, his opponent in the AFC Championship.

--Bummed that you missed the Mike and Mike Roast? You're in luck! The train wreck is beautifully recapped. Highlights include:

**Dana Jacobson's incoherent, Belvedere-swilling rant, finally pulled off stage by Professional Roaster Jeffrey Ross and Eddie Griffin, perhaps better known as Deuce Bigalow's pimp.

**The surprising news that Hosts Trey Wingo and Mark Schlereth were horrible leading off the show. Surely Schlereth would be upset that this reporter punched him in the mouth and then threw him under the bus.

**More surprising news that most of the jokes were about Greenberg being a metrosexual and Golic being fat. How do they stay so fresh?

**Ravens safety Ed Reed being too drunk to read his jokes, pulled off stage by Clinton Portis and Joe Klecko (that's two roasters pulled off stage, for those of you scoring at home).

**A rambling bomb of a speech from Charlie Weis, who apparently has no concept of a roast.

**A great line from comedian Nick Bakay: "Mike & Mike are so dull they make Mike Tirico's show feel dangerous."

--The newest steroid bust includes entertainers 50 Cent, Mary J. Blige, Timbaland, Wyclef Jean, and Tyler Perry. Each of them pounded their fist in denial and refused to give back their Cy Young Awards.

--What is the most tortured city in pro sports? Certainly not Boston.

--The Oakland Zoo was looking for a cost-conscious Chewie head atop a flesh-toned unitard alien body.

--ESPN's Ombudswoman checks in on the WWL's coverage of the Mitchell Report.

--What happened to Jessica Biel's face?

--Good news: the plague is making a comeback!

A LIST OF TODAY'S TOP LISTS

9 People Who Actually Died Laughing

14 Hollywood Gridiron Greats

Rosie O'Donnell to Fred Durst: The 7 Most Bizarre Celebrity Blogs

The 5 Current Genetic Experiments Most Likely to Destroy Humanity

The Top 10 Celebrity Interview Disasters