Big Lead Sports Bar

12/18/2006

Monday Morning Wrapup

Buffalo 21, Miami 0- The Bills pull to .500 despite no 78-yard TDs from J.P. Losman to Lee Evans. Miami confirms their status as THE enigma team of 2006, as they are shutout by Buffalo after shutting out New England the week before. I guess they weren't able to get audio tapes of Losman's cadence like they did with Tom Brady.
Packers 17, Lions 9- Sounds like an incredibly interesting game. The Lions are in perfect position to draft in the top two again in 2007, and I'm sure they'll screw up whoever they choose. For all the top picks they've had, they should have the NFL version of the Penguins by now.
Titans 24, Jags 17- Don't look now, but Tennessee has crept up to 7-7 behind five straight wins. In a game reminiscent of Steelers/Raiders, the Titans win behind 98 yards of offense. But pundits will simplify the poor performance by saying, "That Vince Young...he finds a way to win!"
Jets 26, Vikings 13- In a curious bit of programming, CBS switched to this game with the Jets up 13 and 2 minutes to go here in Pittsburgh. I really did enjoy watching Tarvaris Jackson heave throws blindly into the end zone, though. Any team that allows Chad Pennington to throw for 339 yards deserves to lose by at least 13, if not 130.
Patriots 40, Texans 7- Tom Brady unleashes 107 yards of passing on the Texans, and puts last week's 78-yarder into distant memory. The Pats manage 230 yards of offense, Houston counters with 198. This will not be confused with tonight's Colts-Bengals showdown.
Bears 34, Bucs 31- The vaunted Bears defense allows 31 points to 3rd-string QB Tim Rattay and the Bucs. Between the Tank Johnson Gun Arrest/Bodyguard Murder and Tommie Harris' season-ending injury, all of a sudden the Bears' D looks vulnerable. Meanwhile, Rex Grossman continues to frustrate fantasy owners across the country who benched him, throwing for 339 yards and 2 TDs.
Rams 20, Raiders 0- No Randy Moss, no Jerry Porter, no Lamont Jordan, no crappy offensive coordinator, same result for the Raiders. I would say they're the worst team in the league, but they have some legit players on D, so I give the crown to Detroit...for now.
Chargers 20, Chiefs 9- A Herm Edwards team disappoints down the stretch. Imagine that. Can someone please answer this question: Why did Kansas City want Edwards so badly? I know...they wanted to hear "Hello...you play to win the game!" speeches on a regular basis.
Ravens 27, Browns 17- The Browns' plan was simple: step on Steve McNair's hand, force him out of the game, and intercept Kyle Boller for the remainder of regulation. The only problem with their plan: they're the Browns. Derek Anderson continued to audition for Charlie Frye's job with another L, so he's right on track. In other news, Ray Lewis did not call Kellen Winslow any homophobic names after the game.
Eagles 36, Giants 22- For some reason, I believe we've had every Giants game broadcast in Pittsburgh this season. It's a nice way to cleanse the palate between a Steeler game and Sunday night's Maddenisms (such as this week's "no yard pass"). It's also wildly enjoyable simply for the reason that we can watch Team Coughlin find a new way to lose on a regular basis. This week's Eli Manning "sack/interception/TD return" combo to ice it for the Eagles was breathtaking.
Redskins 16, Saints 10- Reggie Bush revolutionized the game by touching the ball 12 times for a total of 33 yards. But the Saints still clinched the division, so I guess they got the last laugh.
Steelers 37, Panthers 3- I just needed another forum to announce that Edmund Nelson said on the KDKA postgame show that Kendall Simmons missed a few games due to rugburn. No, it was actually falling asleep with an ice pack on his foot, but thanks for trying, E.N.
Anthony Morelli gets death threats- I would assume none were from Pitt fans who were upset he decided to go to Penn State.
American Pie: The Naked Mile: There should be some rule that requires sequels to have at least some connection to the original movie if they plan on using the name. Other than the presence of Eugene Levy and the use of the "Stifler" name, I see very little in common with the first three American Pies. There's no Jim, no Finch, no pie. I'm surprised a movie based around a premise of naked college girls would be advertised during NFL games, as if men were watching.

2 comments:

louis lipps is my homeboy said...

What, no mention of the Pitt b-ball road debacle?!

Hollywood Wags said...

Was watching the Lions Packers tumult and Kitna took a snap cleanly, stepped back and cleanly dropped the ball. Same old Kitna. GB recovered.

Rod Marinelli...who decided the Lions needed another Morningwig. He looks like a confused jackass, his cap pulled down all disheveled on his head and a blank look in his eyes. I told the Lions fan I work with that Marinelli will leave mumbling and drooling just like every other Lions coach...

It is an insane asylum.