TYLER PALKO SIGNS WITH CHIEFS

Tyler Palko, the former West Allegheny HS and Pitt Panther QB who had a cup of coffee with the Steelers last season, has also been with the Arizona Cardinals, New Orleans Saints, the UFL's California Redwoods and the CFL's Montreal Alouettes in his pro career. But today, Palko is the newest addition to Kansas City's roster, as per Mike Florio of Pro Football Talk.

Palko will start no higher than fourth on the team's depth chart at QB, behind incumbent Matt Cassel, former Alabama QB Brodie Croyle, and third-stringer Matt Gutierrez. He will be playing for another fellow Yinzer, former Upper St. Clair standout and Chiefs head coach Todd Haley, with the newly-added Charlie Weis as offensive coordinator. That being said, he will again be facing an uphill battle to make the team.

Incidentally, Palko has appears to have a very under-the-radar Twitter account with only four updates and 13 followers to date. We'll have to keep our eyes on it for any additional news on his newest career move.

Chiefs bring in Palko [PFT]

TylerPalko [Twitter]

Email: Mondesishouse@gmail.com Twitter: twitter.com/mondesishouse Facebook: Facebook Group

OFF TO A GOOD START

The sports extravaganza/traffic nightmare dubbed "Homecoming Weekend" has so far resulted in a Pitt basketball win in their home opener, a Penguin win in overtime, and a Pitt win over Notre Dame in front of a national audience. You're up, Steelers.

We'll start with the Penguins, who eeked out a 6-5 overtime winner against Boston which featured the following improbabilities: two goals from Pascal Dupuis, a goal from Jay McKee, a goal from Mark Eaton, and a game-tying goal from Bill Guerin with less than a second remaining. Hey, it's only fair given everything the team's been through over the past couple of weeks. But it sure was sweet.

With all due respect to the dramatic ending at Mellon Arena, the bigger story, at least on this night, was the Pitt Panthers' 27-22 win over the Notre Dame Fighting Irish at Heinz Field in front of 65,000+, a prime-time ABC audience spanning 83% of the country, and more than 100 recruits.

The Panthers atoned for virtually ignoring Jonathan Baldwin against Syracuse (1 catch, 5 yards) and unleashed the future pro on the Irish secondary to the tune of 142 yards on five catches, with one touchdown and two plays for the highlight reels. RBs Dion Lewis and Ray Graham each reeled off runs of 50+ yards en route to a 193-66 rushing edge for the Panthers. QB Bill Stull continued to play efficient football, with 236 yards passing and a touchdown. And the defense...well, they were just a treat to watch, especially the much-heralded defensive line of Greg Romeus, Jabaal Sheard, Gus Mustakas and Mick Williams.

The D only started to struggle once DBs Aaron Berry and Ricky Gary went down in short order to injuries in the fourth quarter. A seasoned QB like Jimmy Clausen predictably exploited that deficiency, as did his talented receivers. But the 9-1 Panthers would ultimately hold off the Irish with the help of a crucial and controversial Clausen fumble late in the final minutes.

The Panthers' next two games both fall under the category of must-see TV: the Backyard Brawl on November 27 (the day after Thanksgiving) and the de facto Big East Championship against Cincinnati on December 5. What is it about Pittsburgh against Cincinnati in big divisional football games this year?

And finally, speaking of TV, a huge thumbs-down to ABC last night for interviewing Charlie Weis and not Dave Wannstedt after the Pitt win last night. Weis now has the same winning percentage as Ty Willingham and Bob Davie - so if it's any consolation, it's probably one of the last interviews he'll be giving as the head coach of Notre Dame.

Email: Mondesishouse@gmail.com Twitter: twitter.com/mondesishouse Facebook: Facebook Group

Thursday Night Recap

There were four important games last night for city teams, so let's start with the good and eventually work into the bad:

PENGUINS 5

CANADIENS 4

No, not even a Canadien hitting Evgeni Malkin in the groin with a hockey stick could stop the Penguins on this night. With Savran, I mean, Sabourin in goal, a 3-2 Penguin lead turned into a 4-3 Canadien lead in short order, to the surprise of no one outside of Michel Therrien. So much for showcasing the odd man out.

But the Penguins have proven time and time again that they are a resilient bunch, so it was up to Malk and Sergei Gonchar to score the tying and winning goals, sending 21,273 Canadiens fans home disappointed. Now that's a beautiful sight.

Leave it to the Simpsons to assist my attempt at humor

Penguins celebrate a Russian winner; Gonchar's 600th point polishes off Montreal [PG]

ROBERT MORRIS 69

MOUNT ST. MARY'S 66

I think Robert Morris has been mentioned once in the nearly two year history of this blog, but it's worth noting that they've now won 10 in a row. Bateko Francisco, a transfer from Fort Scott Junior College in Kansas, scored a game-high 16 points to lead the way for RMU.

Next up, the Colonials battle Wagner for first place in the Sewall Center tomorrow night. Bobby Mo (22-6) and Wagner (20-6) are tied for first with 13-2 conference records. The winner has the inside track on becoming a 16-seed in a few weeks.

Colonials earn 10th victory in a row [PG]

NOTRE DAME 82

PITT 70

If anyone wanted to learn the definition of the word "evaporation", you missed your opportunity, unless you happened to Tivo last night's Pitt game. The Panthers' 11-point lead vanished right before our eyes, as Pitt fell to 19-7, 7-6, and seventh place in the Big East.

Sam Young led the Panthers in the categories of points (20) and missed dunks (1). Dejuan Blair added 14 points and 13 rebounds as he continues to inch closer to a double-double average (11.7, 9.6). Levance Fields contributed 10 points and five assists in 25 minutes as he continues his return from injury.

There's not much more to say about this one, as it was ultimately a forgettable performance, save for the attendance of one Charlie Weis, who took up at least three seats.

Irish rally past Pitt [PG]

XAVIER 75

DUQUESNE 48

Duquesne's had a nice little run this year, but I doubt that Thursday's game will be featured in their 2007-08 highlight video. They were run out of the gym by Sean Miller's Xavier Musketeers, who are currently ranked 10th in the nation. It didn't help Duquesne's cause that they shot 30% from the field. Shawn James led the charge for the Dukes with 11 points, six rebounds and seven blocks in just 21 minutes. The Dukes fell to 16-9 and 6-6 in the A-10.

You can find a recap, live blog, and eulogy at Dukes Court.

No. 10 Musketeers outclass Dukes [PG]

The News

--Pitt beat #6 Georgetown at the Pete on Monday night, but since everybody gave up on the Panthers already, I guess no one is interested...

But seriously, Pitt is ranked #4 in the RPI, behind only North Carolina, Memphis, and Tennessee. So you shouldn't write them off just yet. Keith Benjamin and Razor Ramon poured in 18 points each, and DeJuan Blair added 15 and 9. The Zoo was a-rockin'.

Plus, for an added bit of sizzle, ESPN showed a shot of Mike Tomlin sitting next to Luke Ravenstahl at the game. No word on whether or not Ravenstahl snuck his way into this sporting event.

--How far do you think Pitt will go in the tournament (assuming they make it, of course)? Vote in this week's new poll, on the right sidebar. Last week's poll results illustrated your belief in the 2008 Steelers, as most readers went with the optimistic "9-12 wins" prediction.

--The Pens downed the Rangers 4-1 in a feisty matchup at the Igloo. Evgeni Malkin notched another hat trick and Adam Hall fought Jordan Staal's brother. That ought to make quite the uncomfortable locker room.

--The Steelers are targeting several positions for the draft: offensive line, offensive line, offensive line, offensive line, and offensive line.

--Deadspin reminds us that LT still hates the Patriots, his opponent in the AFC Championship.

--Bummed that you missed the Mike and Mike Roast? You're in luck! The train wreck is beautifully recapped. Highlights include:

**Dana Jacobson's incoherent, Belvedere-swilling rant, finally pulled off stage by Professional Roaster Jeffrey Ross and Eddie Griffin, perhaps better known as Deuce Bigalow's pimp.

**The surprising news that Hosts Trey Wingo and Mark Schlereth were horrible leading off the show. Surely Schlereth would be upset that this reporter punched him in the mouth and then threw him under the bus.

**More surprising news that most of the jokes were about Greenberg being a metrosexual and Golic being fat. How do they stay so fresh?

**Ravens safety Ed Reed being too drunk to read his jokes, pulled off stage by Clinton Portis and Joe Klecko (that's two roasters pulled off stage, for those of you scoring at home).

**A rambling bomb of a speech from Charlie Weis, who apparently has no concept of a roast.

**A great line from comedian Nick Bakay: "Mike & Mike are so dull they make Mike Tirico's show feel dangerous."

--The newest steroid bust includes entertainers 50 Cent, Mary J. Blige, Timbaland, Wyclef Jean, and Tyler Perry. Each of them pounded their fist in denial and refused to give back their Cy Young Awards.

--What is the most tortured city in pro sports? Certainly not Boston.

--The Oakland Zoo was looking for a cost-conscious Chewie head atop a flesh-toned unitard alien body.

--ESPN's Ombudswoman checks in on the WWL's coverage of the Mitchell Report.

--What happened to Jessica Biel's face?

--Good news: the plague is making a comeback!

A LIST OF TODAY'S TOP LISTS

9 People Who Actually Died Laughing

14 Hollywood Gridiron Greats

Rosie O'Donnell to Fred Durst: The 7 Most Bizarre Celebrity Blogs

The 5 Current Genetic Experiments Most Likely to Destroy Humanity

The Top 10 Celebrity Interview Disasters

The News

Got news? Email it to mondesishouse@gmail.com for the next edition!

--A fantastic article simply entitled, "Lack of bona fide rivalries is hurting Penn State". Keep fighting it, Lions fans, but deep down you know that you have no true rival.

--Charlie Weis is excited that Notre Dame will be picking at the top of the draft

--The folks behind Man vs. Wild offered me some exclusive photos and video clips to share with you. And being that this is the season of giving, I'm more than happy to oblige. I think Bear's stepped it up a notch since all of those "Man vs. Wild is fake" rumors started popping up.

--Would you ever read a link about grass? Well, if I told you it involved the grass at Heinz Field?

--The PG takes a memorable look back at Pitt's 41-38, 3 OT upset of the Mountaineers in 1997. I can't wait for 2017, when the PG looks back at the 2007 Pitt upset of the national championship-bound WVU.

--Robert Roethlisberger Jr. just got arrested in Georgia with a truck that showed large, graphic photos of aborted fetuses. To answer your next question, no, he's not related.

--The producer of the "Saw" movies has been sued for allegedly being shady during a deal to purchase the Tampa Bay Lightning hockey team. If he invented the Blackberry, I would've sworn I heard this story already.

--Here's SI.com's NFL Power Rankings. The Cowboys come in at #1. No, wait, I read it wrong...it's the Patriots.

--In the upcoming biopic, Joe Namath is going to be played by...Jake Gyllenhaal? Say it ain't so, Joe!

--PNC Bank bought the naming rights to 1,300 seats at Washington Nationals games. So they're sinking sponsorship money into the Pirates and the Nationals. That's a bank with some great investment sense.

--Great news: Francoix Leroux is back in the Pens' organization!

--Bill Simmons risks carpal tunnel and breaks the ESPN record with a seven-hour chat today.

--So now Duke hates ESPN. What next, CBS feuds with the Patriots?

--Britney Spears stole a wig from the Hustler store in West Hollywood. The hits just keep on comin'.

A LIST OF TODAY'S BEST LISTS

8 Athletes Who've Done Time

The Best Trick Plays in Football History

10 most expensive cars of 2007

10 Greatest Joey Porter Moments

The News

--Flyers 3, Penguins 1. So much for going 8-0 against the Fs two years in a row. Glad to see R.J. Umberger brought his fists with him in his homecoming game.

--The Mondesi-managed Pirates upended Baba Booey's Mets in The Sporting News 1986: Take Two opener in front of 19,830 at Three Rivers Stadium. That's right, we won a game starting Jim Winn against Dr. K.

--Bart Scott has some harsh words for Hines Ward. Ever seen a team talk so much trash before, during, and after they get worked up and down the field for 60 minutes?

--Who wants to work stats for the Buccos next year?

--From the Link Everyone Will Click Category: "2 Fired After Nude Photo Causes Controversy".

--On the eve of his return from a suspension, Chris "Do You Know Who I Am" Henry allegedly starts some trouble.

--Harsh words for an unpopular ESPN football analyst who happens to be the NFL's All-Time Leading Rusher.

--Let's compare the always-pleasant Charlie Weis with other college coaches after 34 games.

--These Don Shula quotes are really stirring the pot, no?

--The reader who sent this in called it "A rival for Penn State Adam". I would have to agree.

--With all the Dog Bounty Hunter talk, here's a classic clip of Cartman as Dog.

--Is Eric Lindros worthy of the Hall of Fame? What, the Hall of Fame of Head Injuries?

--Great! Now you can get a virus on your cell phone!

--It's Jenkem, the hot "new drug" with an active ingriedient list that includes urine and fecal matter.

--Here's the obligatory link to the 8-limbed kid in India, also known as the spawn of Dr. Octopus.

--Nick Hogan is under arrest for the evening that made his car look like some type of Transformer.

A LIST OF TODAY'S TOP LISTS

10 Reasons Why Pittsburgh is Better Than Cleveland

5 least deserving MVP winners of the past 12 years

Top 10 Bengal Arrests

The Most Caffeinated Cities in the US

SI.com's Rankings of NFL Fan Experiences

THE 10 MANLIEST VIDEO GAMES OF ALL TIME

50 Classic Movie Fight Scenes, all with video evidence

The News

Got news? Email it to mondesishouse@gmail.com

--Congratulations to Jerry E. of Pittsburgh, winner of this week's contest, a Rings N'at T-shirt courtesy of Burghshirts.bigcartel.com. New contest starts tomorrow!

--Quite the performance by Marc-Andre Fleury last night as the Pens shut out the JaromiRangers, 1-0.

--Mike Tomlin defends Sunday night's game plan. Who are we to question it?

--Mel Stottlemyre is hired as the new Mariners pitching coach, killing my dream of watching Jim Colborn get the job and subsequently "Zach Duke" Felix Hernandez. That's right, I just used Zach Duke as a verb.

--A Michael Vick Halloween display is causing quite a stir in Tennessee.

-- An enormous Jason Taylor, the biggest animated human figure ever built at 26ft, is unleashed on London. And now there's video.

--Future Pirates, Cubs, and Penguins owner Mark Cuban is eliminated from Dancing with the Stars.

--If you think the Rockies can continue their historic run, you could make some serious cash over the next couple weeks.

--Stats, Analysis, and Fun Facts from the Steelers-Broncos, courtesy of Post Game Heroes.

--Sons of Sam Malone takes Me-Shawn Johnson to task for his interview with Ocho.

--A mind-blowing story about David Copperfield.

--Hey, Anna Kournikova's eating again!

--NBC's Notre Dame ratings are at an all-time low. I think now is a good time to extend Charlie Weis another 10 years. You know, when the value is low.

--A Wisconsin man found a 3.92 carat diamond at an Arkansas diamond park that's open to the public.

--A painting found in the trash could fetch up to $1 million. Is it me, or a lot of people finding valuables today?

A LIST OF TODAY'S TOP LISTS

Seven subtle cues that often mean a person isn't being completely honest with you

10 of the Greatest Movie One-Liners of All Time

6 Videos of Comedians Laying the Smack Down on Hecklers

The News, Again

I'm really under the weather today, so in lieu of writing anything major, here's a few links to pass the time. I'll be back ASAP.

--Jim Wexell is taking a 45-day trip through Steeler Nation. Really interesting article/series.

--Browns fans have to top Overreaction Nation

--Oscar De La Hoya warming up in fishnets: real or fake?

--DJ Gallo sticks up for the Pirates as the worst team in MLB

--Post Game Heroes breaks down the Steelers 3-TE formation frame by frame

--Charlie Weis somehow found the time to make a Myspace page.

--It's "This Year in Michigan"

--Alicia Silverstone's naked PETA ad was banned in Texas

--The 10 Most Deranged Sidekicks of All Time

--Ever wonder what the movie Casino would look like with Bert & Ernie as Pesci and Deniro? This is a five-star stuff.

The News - Addendum

Just had a great joke sent to me:

"What kind of battery does it take to shock a Michigan Wolverine?"

"1 AA"

--OJ Simpson wanted in connection with a Vegas burglary

--Larry Johnson allgedly drops 24 n-bombs in a rap song - and he's denying it.

--Peter King says Belichick got off easy. For once, I agree with him.

--SI's Dr. Z. outlines the Pats cheating throughout NFL history:

Marinelli was the defensive line coach in Tampa Bay when the Bucs beat the Patriots in the 2000 regular season opener and did a good job controlling New England's offense. After the game the Patriots' offensive coach, Charlie Weis, was overheard congratulating the Bucs' defensive coordinator, Monte Kiffin.

"We knew all your calls, and you still stopped us," Weis said. "I can't believe it."

Monday Morning Bullet Points

• Honestly, was anyone really so shocked at the Steeler cuts? I know I wasn't. Okobi will probably be an Arizona Cardinal in time for their game against the Steelers.
• That being said, I need to come up with a name to fully capture the predictable oncoming phenomenon of Whisenhunt and Grimm, Inc., signing a bevy of ex-Steelers.
• The Steelers' RB depth chart is amazing. Willie Parker - undrafted free agent; Dump Davenport - waiver-wire pickup; Dan Kreider - undrafted free agent; Carey Davis - undrafted free agent; Gary Russell - undrafted free agent. I'm starting to think the Steelers don't value the RB position in the draft too much.
• The Trib pointed out that the Steelers are the only AFC North team to win a playoff game since the division was formed in 2002. No, not even the World Champion (or so they would have you think) Bengals or the big, bad, overrated Ravens have won a playoff game. And certainly not the Browns. They're about a year away from getting bumped down to the MAC.
• It looks like a few local guys ended up making practice squads after falling victim to The Turk this weekend. Tyler Palko, the odd man out in N'awlins, signed to the Saints' practice squad on Sunday. And the Bears brought back former Nittany Lion OL Tyler Reed. As far as I can tell, though, things haven't panned out as nicely for Brandon Miree (late of the Packers), Lousaka Polite (Cowboys), Luke Getsy (49ers), Rob Pettiti (Saints), and Josh Lay (Saints).
• John Kuhn sure got scooped up quickly by the Packers. He was replacing another former Steeler who's injured, Noah Herron.
• My favorite part of Michigan-Appalachian State: watching Lou Holtz on ESPN making it sound like it wasn't an upset, and Mark May's head subsequently exploding.
• The great Michigan blog "The M Zone" gives a great rundown of what happens next in Ann Arbor, aside from mass suicide.
• Georgia Tech beat Notre Dame 33-3 on Saturday. Good thing Charlie Weis didn't announce his starting quarterback until gametime, saving him from the media scrutiny. It could have been 33-0. That guy is a genius! Extend him another 10 years!
• Mark Madden had an excellent commentary on why he hates college football last week. The basic premise was that the good teams just don't play each other enough. I know, "Look at Michigan!" But that was a once-in-a-lifetime win. That's why such a big deal is being made. Look at some of the other scores from this week: Penn State 59, FIU 0...Hawaii 63, N. Colorado 6...Rutgers 38, Buffalo 3...Louisville 73, Murray State 10...LSU 45, MSU 0...Boise St 56, Weber St 7...OSU 38, Youngstown St 3...Florida 49, W Kentucky 3...WVU 62, W Michigan 24...Oklahoma 79, N Texas 10...Alabama 52, W Carolina 6...Indiana 55, Indiana St 7...I mean, is this really entertaining? And to think that this counts in the regular season! That would be like the Steelers playing a couple games each year against Arena League teams.
• After season-ending injuries to WR Derek Kinder and OL Chris Jacobson, you would think Dave Wannstedt was cursed. And that was before his starting QB, Bill Stull, apparently went out for the season due to an injury suffered on Saturday night.
• My sentimental choice for tough-luck footballer of the weekend was my cousin, Joe Rockovich, a starting WR/DB for the Franklin Regional Panthers who was pressed into QB duty in the second half of Friday night's game against Plum. He fumbled diving towards the end zone with 1:30 to go and the Panthers ended up losing by a final of 6-3. Keep your head up.
• Speaking of WPIAL football, there's talk in the Mondesi Fantasy Football message boards about starting a fantasy WPIAL league. Yes, I can now say that I've officially heard everything.
• Nice work by Panthers in the Pros with the info that Carl Krauser and Levon Kendall played each other in the recent FIBA tournament that the US has been dominating. May I ask how Krauser qualified to play for the Virgin Islands? I thought he was from the Bronx? Shouldn't he be playing for Fat Joe's team in some Rucker Park league by now?
• Obligatory Pirates mention: they got swept by the Brewhas this weekend, and Steve Pearce got a hit on Saturday.
• Profootballtalk.com has been all over the news that the Patriots may cut or trade Randy Moss. That's an intriguing story on a number of levels. I love how the media treats guys like Moss and Terrell Owens; they constantly refer to them as "cancers", yet the minute a team like the Patriots acquired Moss, they became the unquestioned favorites to win the AFC, because they just got Randy Moss! I heard John Clayton talk about how the Pats face three playoff teams in their first six games, when they'll be without Richard Seymour for all six and without HGH Harrison for four. Ironically, Clayton also added that "he had the Patriots as his Super Bowl pick". Which goes to show you that even the smartest of analysts can fall victim to media hype.
• To close, PFT also had a great photoshop of Big Ben on their site today. Ben and Brady...a tale of two QBs:

• 

Wednesday Roundup

--The Penguins sign 22-year-old right winger Tim Wallace. And another piece of the Stanley Cup puzzle is in place.

--Looks like highly sought-after recruit Terrelle Pryor of Jeanette blew off Charlie Weis recently. Probably because he doesn't want to catch passes from this character:

--I know you could care less, but quite a developing story in the NBA, as Lebron and Co. evens the series at 2-2 with the Pistons.

--The one and only Myron Cope has a new DVD coming out, which you can buy at a discount here. Double Yoi!

--Sorry, ESPN. Clemens Mania won't be a factor in this weekend's series against the Sawks. It will be Monday...against the Chicago Sawks.

--Lakers owner Jerry Buss is nabbed with a DUI, making him the perfect candidate to someday own the Bengals.

--If Roger Goodell had a MySpace page, this is what it would look like. (It's by JoeSportsFan, so you know it's good)

--If you have a few minutes, read this ESPN story on the Arkansas football team. Affairs, high-profile transfers, e-mail scandals...TV couldn't come up with this kind of drama.

--Greg Oden's first marketing deal? How about a Topps trading card, featuring Oden and...Bill Russell. Why Russell? Because I think Oden's old enough that he played against Russell.

--Remember C.S. Keys, the former weatherman for Channel 11? Looks like he's put together quite the career in San Diego. But he really needs to lose the King Kong Bundy outfit.

--Here's 5 movie quotes that must be stopped, leading off with, "C'mon, Focker!"

--Check out MonsterPig, the 1,051-pound hog caught by an 11-year-old boy.

Browns are Cursed, PacMan in Trouble, Stu Scott Pink Eye, Smizik's list, OJ Royalties, Simpsons Movie, More Britney

The curse of the Cleveland Browns goes on. It looks like their big free agent splurge of 2006, Lecharles Bentley, might miss 2007 as well.

Charlie Weis is claiming that surgeons accidentally left a nurse inside him during his 2002 gastric bypass surgery. Makes sense.

Did PacMan really threaten to kill a stripper at NBA All Star Weekend?

Stuart Scott has pink eye (yes, there's a picture). Boo-ya!

Brace yourselves: Bob Smizik did a list. And it's about the Penguins.

Ron Goldman wants OJ's 39 cents of royalties from Naked Gun movies. So if OJ mails it to him using a 39-cent stamp, he'll actually lose money on the deal.

A British soldier's postcard just arrived---92 years after he sent it. I don't ever want to hear another joke about the USPS being slow.

James Brown will finally be buried, about two months after he died. Howard K. Stern is claiming he is James' father.

Britney buzz theory: she cut off her hair because K-Fed was going to have it tested for drugs. She also turned up at LA's Mondrian Hotel in an electric blue wig, shaving her legs at the pool and crying.

How about a trifecta of wake-up call videos for those of you just stumbling out of bed at noon:

We have a guy shooting a slingshot at his sleeping roommate's forehead

We have another guy using fireworks to wake his sleeping buddy

And finally, the old "put a table over the guy, scream, and have him his head" move.

Here's the new, extended trailer for the Simpsons movie this summer. Remember, there are three members of the Pirate family in this movie, so it might not be that good.

Pens in KC, Saban to Alabama, Hernandez to Bucs, Leinart Grabs Britney, Bloody Javon Walker, $20K Beatles Album

NHL:
Pens meet with Kansas City reps today...Anschutz Entertainment Group announces a press conference for tomorrow morning...Lemieux & Burkle meet with Rendell and Onoravenstahl on Thursday

Pens 3, Carolina 0...Carolina loses the game, but may gain another Cowher family member very soon

New Year's resolutions for those in the NHL (actually, a great read)

COLLEGE FOOTBALL:
Nick Saban, definitely not taking the Alabama job

Penn State over Miami, January 2, 1987: the day college football went to hell

Notre Dame to use a $4.5 Million bowl payout to build Charlie Weis a belt

MLB:
Jose Hernandez returns to the Pirates for a third tour of duty. And why not? He hit .267 and he managed a strikeout every 4th at-bat. We're lucky we signed him before Billy Beane stole him away.

Surprise, surprise...Pirate season-ticket sales down 18% for 2007...but will soon rise with the signing of Hernandez

Mark McGwire, probably not in the Hall of Fame this year...

...but he should be, according to Bill Simmons

NFL:
Matt Leinart rehabs shoulder by grabbing Britney Spears' butt and making out with her last weekend

Offseason issues for the already-eliminated NFL teams, courtesy of SI's Don Banks

The NFL Wives Club....proof that Peyton Manning is not married to Kenny Chesney

Photo evidence of Javon Walker's bloody shirt from the Darrent Williams murder

The official invitation to Kenyon Martin's birthday party, which Williams was attending

ESPN's final 2006 Power Rankings...I won't spoil them for you

RANDOM FUN STUFF:
Want to get Lindsay Lohan's attention? The bar has been set at $1 million in jewelry

The Beatles' "butcher" album, $20,000 and rising

MTV's Vanessa Minillo drops the first F-bomb of 2007 on live TV (video)

Tara Reid, screwing up the New Year's Eve countdown she was hosting...be sure to catch the reaction of the guy around the 45 second mark (video)

Real Beer Pong Tables, More Anti-ESPN Sentiment, Notre Dame, Jordan Staal

That Lynn Swann Beer Pong post was popular. Really popular. So popular, it was Mondesi's House's #1-ranked traffic day of all time. That post reached so many people that I even heard from the maker of the Beer Pong table in the picture! So check out bingbongtables.com for the entire line of their wares.

Continuing my anti-ESPN rant from yesterday, "ESPN and Big-Market Trends". Make sure to catch that comment by "Mel Ott". By the way, try and catch Dan Patrick's radio on Friday (1-3 PM here in Pittsburgh)...he'll be talking about ESPN's overcoverage of the Cowboys, I believe with Peter King. Apparently I'm not the only one upset with the Worldwide Leader.

Dan Onorato bumped into Jim Balsillie at a Penguin game last week.

The Cardinals scout who discovered Albert Pujols is now stocking shelves at Wal-Mart.

Stewart Mandel says that Notre Dame is actually ranked too high in the polls. And he gives you evidence why.

Charlie Weis is upset, fat: a beautiful rant on the team people love and love to hate. (via Deadspin)

Heck, let's go for three anti-Notre Dame links: Mondesi favorite DJ Gallo's "What Planet ya From, Charlie?"

SI.com's Allan Muir weighs in on the Great Jordan Staal Debate.

Quick Link Roundup

Some good stuff for you today:

The Post Gazette's Blog and Gold is a web-only feature that is described as "an informal and sometimes off-beat look at the Steelers this season." Well, Mondesi's House is certainly informal and off-beat, so we were the recipient of a nice mention in yesterday's B&G with the recap of the Monday Nighter. You can check out Blog and Gold here.

Big news at the Sports Pickle: "Jaguars coming out party not nearly as gay as some other coming out parties". Also, Notre Dame Coach Charlie Weis vows a hunger strike if the Irish lose again. Catch all this and more at The Sports Pickle.

Monday Morning Wrapup

To start off, on a serious note...I really hope they catch the low-life that shot five Duquesne basketball players early Sunday morning. Keep those players in your thoughts and prayers.

Thoughts from a weekend of football excess...

Michigan State 38, Pitt 23- I can't for the life of me recall the names of the two chuckleheads announcing this game, but they had perhaps the greatest announcing line of all time. After a facemask against Michigan State, we were treated to this gem:

"When you see that neck go backwards, it's almost usually all the time a penalty."

That's exactly what the announcer said. I couldn't believe it myself, thus I wrote it down. An all time classic.

Later on, the same guy offered up "H.B. Blades...H.B. must stand for How Bout That!"

Actually, that would be H.B.T. Blades. But thanks for trying to be cute.

And even better, the same announcer kept referring to Pitt OL Jeff Otah as "Jeff Utah". He was probably watching the 1991 classic film Point Break last night and got him confused with Keanu Reeves' character, former Ohio State QB-turned-secret agent "Johnny Utah". If he would have mentioned Bodie playing alongside him, that would have confirmed my thoughts.
Otah, Utah...tomato, tomahto

And who could forget this memorable exchange between the sideline reporter and MSU coach John L. Smith before halftime:

Reporter: "What are your thoughts on your team's lack of discipline in the first half, with their five penalties?"

Smith: "I have no thoughts."

As for the game itself, it wasn't nearly as exciting as the announcing. Pitt actually went to the half tied 10-10, but completely self-destructed in the second half. The West Virginia game later this year is looking downright scary at this point. Hopefully the Wannstache can get the running game going as well as finding some way to stop, or at least slow down, the run on the defensive side.

Michigan 47, Notre Dame 21- The national media is dead-on again. The Notre Dame defense is not as bad as everyone thought... it's worse. Mario Manningham and Mike Hart annihilated the Irish for a combined 261 yards and four touchdowns. Michigan put up 34 in the first half. And Brady Quinn, in a Powlus-esque performance, tossed three INTs and added a fumble for good measure. Plus, we got to see Charlie Weis, a member of my inaugural class of "Head Coaches with Belts Holding on For Dear Life Hall of Fame". He was inducted alongside charter members Bill Parcells and Andy Reid.
One...
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Three models of fitness

Louisville 31, Miami 7 - Miami started the day by stomping on the Louisville logo, which was dead-on...there was certainly some stomping to be done on this day. To the joy of nearly the entire nation, it was Miami that was stomped, turning in another weak performance. If a college team could purchase the bottled apathy of the Oakland Raiders, it looks like the Hurricanes already bought a truckload of it.

But there were some serious individual downsides to this game. Louisville, who had previously lost future Steeler RB Michael Bush for the season, lost QB Brian Brohm for the next 3-6 weeks. And Larry Coker's career record at Miami dropped to a hideous 54-11 (.831), with many obnoxious, spoiled alumni calling for his head.

Baltimore 51, Oakland 3- Not the real score...just football genius Peter King's prediction. This is the same guy that picked Detroit over Seattle in week one, and recommended that fantasy owners play Chris "6 INTs" Simms in week two. The same guy who picked Dallas to win this year's Super Bowl (over the Patriots, of course) and then proclaimed they have a QB controversy after one game.

All he is good for is perpetuating the myth of the "football expert". Whether the name be Schlereth, Salisbury, Jaworski, Theismann, et al., they are all the same. They have no more insight than you or I. Don't forget, the ONLY analyst that even gave the Steelers even a chance against the Colts in the playoff last year was Merrill Hoge, and he picked them to win every week, so that shouldn't even count.

Chicago 34, Detroit 7- I hope Roy Williams keeps his day job as a football player, because he can't pick winners or losers either. Williams, who previously stated that "the Lions left 40 points on the field" in their 9-6 week one loss to Seattle, guaranteed victory for the Lions over the Bears today. You might want to choose your words more carefully in the future, Mr. Williams, especially when you have a defense capable of giving up four TD passes to Rex Grossman. Yes, the same Rex Grossman who had five career TD passes in three seasons.

Dallas 27, Washington 10 - I've seen the Redskins play more than the Steelers so far this season, and I still can't figure out how Daniel Snyder continues to pay such big money for such a crap team. In addition to overpaying for free agents like Antwaan Randle El, he now overpays for assistant coaches, like $2 million per year for offensive genius Al "One Offensive Touchdown in Two Weeks" Saunders. I know, Clinton Portis didn't play. But this team is going nowhere fast with Marky Mark Brunell at QB.

Cincinnati 34, Cleveland 17 - Romeo Crennel apparently drafted Pitt's entire run defense and started all of them on Sunday, because they couldn't stop Rudi Johnson to save their collective lives. Johnson racked up 145 yards and two scores, and the Browns' tackling in the second half could not have been worse. In other news, Chad Johnson guaranteed he would have 75 yards receiving and do the chicken dance when he scored. His predictions were 100% accurate. Now let him get back to sleeping at the stadium.

Patriots 24, Jets 17- Jets coach Eric Magina, a future member of the "Head Coaches with Belts Holding on For Dear Life Hall of Fame", nearly pulled off the upset, falling seven points short after a furious second half comeback. A Jets win would have been nice for a Pats Hater like myself. But if only we could've only had a few hundred more shots of the Jets fireman guy, I would have been really happy. I mean, give the guy some exposure already!
J-E-T-S S-U-C-K

Reggie Bush vs. Mario Williams Update - A weekly briefing on the wisdom of passing on Reggie Bush. Especially when your backfield is Wali Lundy, Jameel Cook, Ron Dayne and Samkon Gado:

Week One: Williams: 2 tackles; Bush: 67 yds rushing, 52 receiving

Week Two: Williams: 2 tackles (4 season); Bush: 5 yds rushing (72 season), 68 receiving (120 season)

Pirates Muck Fets- The Pirates not only swept the likely NL World Series rep, they guaranteed a .500 home record (not a guarantee like Roy Williams made....this was, like, a statistical guarantee) and clinched a non-100 loss season today.

Zach Duke looked like his pre-face-scribbling self (link to more pics), tossing eight innings of shutout ball while striking out six.
Would you call the confused onlooker in blue "The guy behind the guy"?

All my rowdy friends are here on Monday Night - Steeler fans are finally treated to a night of Mike Tirico, Mr. Tony, and Joe Theismann. And I am assuming the typical pregame inexplicably featuring Sally Wiggin. Actually, I'm looking forward to the game. Big Ben should be back, Troy will be playing, and the Dump Truck will dress for the first time. By the way, how horrible is Duce Staley that he got lapped on the depth chart by a guy cut from the Packers?

With all the Jaguar talk this week, I had vivid flashbacks to September 22, 1997. I was in my first month living in a fraternity house, and was looking forward to my first Monday Night Steeler game with my brothers. The game was tight, but the Steelers had a chance. It was late in the 4th quarter, the Jags were up, 23-21, but the Steelers were driving. They moved the ball to the Jacksonville 22 yard line, and the usually reliable Norm Johnson lined up for a 39-yard field goal. The attempt was blocked by Clyde Simmons and returned 58 yards for a touchdown by Chris Hudson. As Hudson ran past Mr. Bill for a game-ending touchdown, Cowher cocked his fist, helpless in yet another defeat to their new rivals.

Immediately after the gut-wrenching loss, two of my fraternity brothers (from New England, of course), decided to taunt another of our members, who I could only describe as a "volatile" Steeler fan who had indulged in a few adult beverages that night. Let's just say some furniture was thrown. And the future Mondesi was truly introduced to life in a fraternity house.

Go Steelers.