NEWS AND NOTES

A Jeff Reed picture I actually don't mind looking at

--Yes, I know I didn't get to cover it due to some scheduling issues on Sunday, but Jeff Reed beat the Vikings, 12-10, on Saturday night. The defense looked good, the offensive line looked bad, and Rashard Mendenhall lost two fumbles. Meh. [ESPN.com]

--The Brewers beat the Bucs 4-3 in 12 innings on Sunday, breaking out the brooms in the process. [Trib]

--The Steelers have the least amount of salary cap room remaining in the league. Cynical Steeler fans who always blamed the team's problems on "those cheap Rooneys" must look elsewhere for a complaint. [PSI]

--Here's the longest article you'll ever read on WPIAL coaching salaries. [Trib]

--It's The Wayne Gretzky Sucks Photoshop Expo! That's a cause I can fully support. [The Pensblog]

--Ron Cook says the Steelers can't do without Aaron Smith. [PG]

--Could former Pitt QB Joe Flacco (Tyler Palko's backup) be the starter in Baltimore? Let's hope. [AOL]

--That crazy Swedish wrestler was right. [The Big Lead]

--Spotlight on Johnstown real estate! [Straight Outta Johnstown)

--This year's Dancing with the Stars cast: Kim Kardashian, the poor man's Paris Hilton; professional roaster Jeffrey Ross; former 'N Sync singer Lance Bass; actor Ted McGinley (also known as "Jefferson D'Arcy", Al Bundy's neighbor; celebrity chef Rocco DiSpirito. Gold medalists Misty May-Treanor and Maurice Greene; Hannah Montana star Cody Linley; singer Toni Braxton; All My Children's Susan Lucci; former Wild On host Brooke Burke; and 82-year-old actress Cloris Leachman.

--Big Ben ranks #6 on the NFL QB Douche-o-meter. Is that good or bad? [Gustafun.com]

--Here's the Pitt football season preview as done by the author of Pitt Blather, featuring one of the greatest Wannstache photos ever. [EDSBS]

--Check out this article on the next wave in offense: the A-11, featuring two QBs on the field at once. My favorite line: "He and Humphries have a deal with American Football Monthly magazine to market videotapes ($39.95 each) and an installation manual ($199). "

I'll tell you, if there's one chore that's tough to do without a manual, it's installing an offense.

--Here's video of the taekwondo ref-kick at the Olympics [Kiss 96.1]

--Presenting your 2009 MLB free agents (that the Pirates won't sign). [MLB Trade Rumors]

--Hugging Harold Reynolds points out a Steeler-related grammatical error. [HHR]

--It might take $8 million to lure Michael Strahan out of retirement. [PFT]

--Former Steeler Assistant Ken Whisenhunt named Kurt Warner the Arizona Cardinals' starting QB over Matt Leinart. [Sporting News]

--A Parkersburg-area breeder has surrendered approximately 1,000 dogs to humane society officials. [PG]

--Meet the Obama look-alike. [TMZ]

--9 Reasons It’s Better To Be A College Freshman Now Than It Was In 1998. Luckily, I was a freshman in 1995, when we were introduced to something called "text-based internet service" that ran about as fast as Casey Hampton. [Comedy.com]

--I realize this might be a reach, but are there any art collectors in our audience? My friend Mark Panza, who runs Panza Gallery in Millvale (the best place to get a jersey framed in the city, by the way), is pretty psyched about an exhibit he's hosting that features work from a 91-year-old artist. The PG recently did a story on it, and if you're so inclined, check it out.

Got news? Email it to mondesishouse@gmail.com - you could win a prize!

The News

--Pitt beat #6 Georgetown at the Pete on Monday night, but since everybody gave up on the Panthers already, I guess no one is interested...

But seriously, Pitt is ranked #4 in the RPI, behind only North Carolina, Memphis, and Tennessee. So you shouldn't write them off just yet. Keith Benjamin and Razor Ramon poured in 18 points each, and DeJuan Blair added 15 and 9. The Zoo was a-rockin'.

Plus, for an added bit of sizzle, ESPN showed a shot of Mike Tomlin sitting next to Luke Ravenstahl at the game. No word on whether or not Ravenstahl snuck his way into this sporting event.

--How far do you think Pitt will go in the tournament (assuming they make it, of course)? Vote in this week's new poll, on the right sidebar. Last week's poll results illustrated your belief in the 2008 Steelers, as most readers went with the optimistic "9-12 wins" prediction.

--The Pens downed the Rangers 4-1 in a feisty matchup at the Igloo. Evgeni Malkin notched another hat trick and Adam Hall fought Jordan Staal's brother. That ought to make quite the uncomfortable locker room.

--The Steelers are targeting several positions for the draft: offensive line, offensive line, offensive line, offensive line, and offensive line.

--Deadspin reminds us that LT still hates the Patriots, his opponent in the AFC Championship.

--Bummed that you missed the Mike and Mike Roast? You're in luck! The train wreck is beautifully recapped. Highlights include:

**Dana Jacobson's incoherent, Belvedere-swilling rant, finally pulled off stage by Professional Roaster Jeffrey Ross and Eddie Griffin, perhaps better known as Deuce Bigalow's pimp.

**The surprising news that Hosts Trey Wingo and Mark Schlereth were horrible leading off the show. Surely Schlereth would be upset that this reporter punched him in the mouth and then threw him under the bus.

**More surprising news that most of the jokes were about Greenberg being a metrosexual and Golic being fat. How do they stay so fresh?

**Ravens safety Ed Reed being too drunk to read his jokes, pulled off stage by Clinton Portis and Joe Klecko (that's two roasters pulled off stage, for those of you scoring at home).

**A rambling bomb of a speech from Charlie Weis, who apparently has no concept of a roast.

**A great line from comedian Nick Bakay: "Mike & Mike are so dull they make Mike Tirico's show feel dangerous."

--The newest steroid bust includes entertainers 50 Cent, Mary J. Blige, Timbaland, Wyclef Jean, and Tyler Perry. Each of them pounded their fist in denial and refused to give back their Cy Young Awards.

--What is the most tortured city in pro sports? Certainly not Boston.

--The Oakland Zoo was looking for a cost-conscious Chewie head atop a flesh-toned unitard alien body.

--ESPN's Ombudswoman checks in on the WWL's coverage of the Mitchell Report.

--What happened to Jessica Biel's face?

--Good news: the plague is making a comeback!

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