A.J.: PITTSBURGH VS. MILWAUKEE – A REBUTTAL

by A.J.
from 105.9 The X

Recently, the former queen of FSN Pittsburgh, Trenni Kusnierek wrote an article for a website comparing her home town of Milwaukee with her former city of residence. Judging by the comments left by the Mondesi’s House readers, her critique of our town struck a nerve. Personally, I had a nice chuckle while reading what she wrote. See, I’ve also had the luxurious experience of having lived in Wisconsin and have spent a considerable amount of time in Milwaukee. Since the Pirates will be playing host to the Brewers this weekend and attempting to redeem themselves after getting swept in America’s Dairyland last week, we thought it might be fun to set the record straight and give a home town boy’s view of how the Brew City really matches up with the Steel City.

We’ll take a look at a few of Trenni’s comparisons from her article and see how accurate they are. Is this necessary? Absolutely not. Do you have anything better to do right now? Exactly. Here we go…

BASEBALL ATMOSPHERE

Trenni mentions that there hasn’t been much to cheer about in Milwaukee as far as baseball goes for quite some time, and she’s right. The Brewers haven’t sniffed the post season since 1982 when they were still in the American League. They’ve appeared in only one World Series (1982) and failed to win it. That means that even with the Pirates current 16 year-long streak of ineptitude, they still have had more recent post season success than the Brewers.

Fact is, before the recent surge in the Brewers’ performance, attending a game in Milwaukee was just as lifeless as going to a Pirates game. If you want to make a fair comparison, base it on the craptactular Brewers/Pirates teams we’ve watched for the past decade, not on recent history. Here’s the real story:

PNC Park vs. Miller Park = edge, PNC Park.

Sure, they have a retractable roof, but we have the coolest skyline view in Major League Baseball. Throw in the remarkable job that the Pirates marketing staff does, and they make going to see a lackluster team an enjoyable event.

Pierogie Race vs. Sausage Race = edge, Sausage Race.

Face it, the Pirates ripped off the racing food products idea from the Brewers. Let’s give credit where credit is due (even if Randall Simon disagrees).

Pirate Parrot vs. Bernie Brewer = edge, Parrot.

In the old County Stadium, Bernie used to slide into a giant vat of beer every time the Brewers hit a home run. Ironically since moving into Miller Park, the vat of beer has disappeared from the outfield and Bernie now just slides down a plastic slide. Sorry Bernie, your P.C. copout has cost you your edge. You should have stayed true to your drunken roots.

Lanny Frattare vs. Bob Uecker = edge, Uecker.

C’mon… the guy’s a legend. Anytime you get stuck in a seat that has a “partially obstructed view”, it’s called the Uecker seat. A Lanny seat probably involves sitting next to Greg Brown for 3 hours every night. I’d rather have a bad view. At least Bob Uecker played the part of a Pittsburgher when he was on Mr. Belvedere.

Overall Edge: Milwaukee… for now (just because they actually care about the baseball). However, if both teams were equal in the standings, Pittsburgh without a doubt is the better place to see a game. Truth be told, I’m pulling for the Brewers in their quest for a playoff spot. Their fans aren’t nearly as douchey as Cubs fans.

OVERALL SPORTS SCENE

Trenni gives us props on being the better sports town, and she’s right. For pro sports, they’ve got the Packers, Brewers, and Bucks (with a K). Meanwhile here in the Burgh, we gladly substitute the NBA franchise for one of the finest in the NHL. We already looked at the baseball teams, so let’s compare how the other pro teams stack up.

Packers vs. Steelers = edge, Steelers

Granted these are two of the most storied franchises in the NFL, and I’m not sure you will find two more dedicated fan bases in all of sports. That being said, I’m about to debunk some of the myths about the Packers.

1) Lambeau Field is a frickin’ hole. Sure, it has “mystique”, but it also has aluminum bleachers and they give you about 12 inches of space to sit on for four hours every Sunday. Try wedging yourself in between two cheese eating Wisconsinites and you’ll long for your no-leg-room-having seats in the upper deck at Heinz Field. It also happens to be located two hours away from Milwaukee and they have this whole confusing system of certain home games being Milwaukee ticket holder games and some being Green Bay ticket holder games. Any team that needs a flow chart to distribute season tickets gets an F in my book.

2) While Packer fans love their team, most don’t really know much about football. Honestly, they are like the soccer moms of the NFL. I’m surprised that they don’t hold bake sales in the parking lot on game day.

3) It ain’t that hard to get tickets. We always hear about the waiting list for Packers season tickets and how they are impossible to come by. Maybe so, but scalpers in Green Bay can’t demand the prices that big city scalpers charge. During the time I lived there, I attended several games and never once paid more than face value* for a ticket from an “independent ticket broker”.

* It should be noted that at the time of purchase, the Packers stunk and the fans were calling for the team to get rid of Favre… funny how times change.

Bucks vs. Penguins = edge, Penguins

I suppose it is unfair to compare two franchises that play different sports, but I did live there while the Bucks were involved in a few playoff runs. The intensity in the city paled in comparison to the fever of a Penguins Cup run.

Overall Edge – While sports are an important part of everyday life in Milwaukee, it just isn’t the same as in Pittsburgh. Having all the major teams located centrally gives Pittsburgh the advantage.

DOWNTOWN

I think this is a matter of semantics. Downtown Milwaukee is better suited for living with affordable housing and nearby night life, which is what gives it a more vibrant feel than Pittsburgh. Sure, our downtown is relatively dead after dark with the exceptions of course being the cultural district and the area around the arena on event nights. However, city neighborhoods such as the South Side, Lawrenceville, Oakland, the Strip, and Shadyside are very much alive and each has its own unique feel.

Pittsburgh also has many cultural offerings with its symphony, theaters, ballet, and multiple museums & art galleries. Apparently in Milwaukee, the museum is just another place to get drunk and throw up.

Edge = Even

Downtown is dead after 6pm. Big deal. Try crossing a river next time you’re in town, Trenni. What Milwaukee gains in regional development of its downtown, Pittsburgh makes up for in its diversity of city neighborhoods.

SHOPPING

Trenni says Pittsburgh is better. I’ll believe her because I can usually find anything I need at Kuhn’s Market or Target.

RESTAURANTS

Both cities have great places to eat, so I’ll make this simple.

Primanti Brothers = meh.

Once again in another publication, Pittsburgh culinary achievement is measured by a sandwich with fries and slaw. I know this is blasphemy, but 99% of the time when I eat at Primanti’s it is only because I am with someone from out of town who wants to try it. There are probably a dozen neighborhood bars that make copycat Pittsburgh-style sandwiches that are better than the original. Sorry, just wanted to get that off my artery clogged chest. Am I alone with this?

Pizza = edge, Pittsburgh

Seriously, if you want to make a fortune, move to Wisconsin and open a decent pizza shop because I couldn’t find one. We have more great pizza shops just in Squirrel Hill alone than they do in their entire state. I don’t think there is a single paisano in all of Milwaukee. To make matters worse, most places make “bar cut pies”.

What the hell is up with that? I want slices, not little squares. Epic fail.

Beer = edge, even

This may seem like an insult to what made Milwaukee famous, but Pittsburgh can hold its own when it comes to beer. They have Miller & Pabst, but we have Iron City. It may not be as popular nationally, but it’s as Pittsburgh as it gets. Granted we lost Rolling Rock to New Jersey, but it doesn’t really matter. The bastard bartenders in Milwaukee considered it an “import” and always charged me extra for it. I once brought a map into a bar to show them that Latrobe was indeed located in the U.S., but no dice. I still had to pay full price on dollar domestic night. Where Pittsburgh really gains ground is from our fantastic micro brews and specialty beers. I’ll put places like Penn Brewery or Church Brew Works in the Pepsi Challenge against anything I drank while in Milwaukee. Sorry Leinenkugel, you’re no Pious Monk Dunkel.

However Milwaukee does offer some great culinary treats. If you ever are in town, do yourself a favor and get some fried cheese curds. These little nuggets of cheddar are breaded and deep fried and make the perfect bar food. The brats at Miller Park with the secret red sauce are a must have. Also, try a Miller High Life while in Milwaukee. Honestly, it tastes so much better there. You can hardly taste the formaldehyde.

NIGHTLIFE
Trenni raved about the wonderful outdoor patio bars in Milwaukee. I will think of her next April when I am sitting on the deck at Rolland’s enjoying a drink, while the bar owners in Milwaukee are still shoveling snow off of their patios. Those things must be awesome for the two months out of the year that they can actually use them.

I will admit, the people in Milwaukee know how to drink. Think of the worst, staggering drunk, falling down, can’t feel your lips, how did I get here, bender you have ever experienced. The kind where you wake up the next day and say, “I am never doing that again.” In Milwaukee, they call that Thursday. People take their cocktails very seriously. It’s not uncommon to be rubbing elbows at the corner bar with just-turned 21 college kids and 80 year old grandmothers. It is part of the lifestyle.

Milwaukee also has a killer live music scene. The city has multiple great venues of various sizes and not many tours miss stopping there. From punk, rock, and rap shows at The Rave, to arena rock shows at the Bradley Center, to great outdoor amphitheaters like the lake side Marcus or nearby Alpine Valley, that city has it all. Milwaukee is also host to Summerfest every year which is an amazing music festival that takes place along the shores of Lake Michigan. Imagine two weeks of nightly entertainment on multiple stages featuring everybody from Jackyl to Stevie Wonder to 311.

The same can’t be said about Pittsburgh. With the closure of so many music venues in recent years including the Station Square Amphitheater, this city could use a shot in the arm when it comes to live entertainment. Events such as the New American Music Union are a nice start, but we have a ways to go before we can catch up. I will give the nod to our local bands. The home grown talent of our local music scene outshines the city that brought us The Violent Femmes.

Pittsburgh does suffer in the singles scene. While there are plenty of college bars to find sexy coeds, the pickin’s are slim locally for the young professional crowd. Of course the mass migration of our city’s young people before they reach that age contributes to the problem. Things like high wage taxes, bloated amusement taxes, and now ridiculous drink taxes do nothing to help Pittsburgh’s nightlife.

Milwaukee on the other hand is a city filled with young professionals. Unfortunately most of them weigh 300 pounds. The grass may be greener in their pasture, but that’s mostly to feed the cattle. I kid, I kid…

The Conclusion…
Honestly, it is frightening how similar these two cities are. There were times when I was in Milwaukee and it actually felt like I was in Pittsburgh. Both cities are filled with friendly people with amusing accents, both are blue collar, and both are wonderful & underappreciated places to live.

So my verdict? Duh… Pittsburgh of course. Why? Because it is home.

More A.J.:

LEAVE MARIO ALONE!

PITTSBURGH'S ONE-HIT WONDERS

THE PITTSBURGH PIRATES ARE MY EX-GIRLFRIENDS

THE OFFICIAL PLAYLIST OF THE NHL PLAYOFFS

THE GOAL SONG: When Hockey Becomes a Rock Concert

The Ballad of Cotton Eyed Joe

The Greatest Defunct Places to Suffer Hearing Loss in Pittsburgh

STEELERS WIN, MENDENHALL FUMBLES

STEELERS 19
PANTHERS 16

"And Skippy shall lead them". That was the theme again last night as the Steelers stole a 19-16 victory from the clutches of the Carolina Panthers in front of 50,485 at Heinz Field.

The first-team offense played just two series and nobody on the unit tore anything, so that makes two victories on the night. Their first-quarter scoring drive was set up on a long pass play from Ben Roethlisberger to Nate Washington. Of course, Washington didn't catch it, it was a 37-yard pass interference call on Carolina's Richard Marshall. But a penalty is a part of the game and as good a reason as any to throw the deep ball, which set up a Carey Davis touchdown moments later.

Among the running backs, Willie Parker had a nice 26-yard run and should be declared ready for the opener. Rashard Mendenhall apparently learned little from Hines Ward's social experiment and coughed up the ball for the third time in two weeks. I know that's a little thing in the grand scheme of things, but some rookies can have fragile psyches, so that may be something to keep an eye on. In relief of Mendenhall, Gary Russell ripped off a 23-yarder but ran for only 20 yards on his other 13 carries. As a team, the Steelers outran Carolina, 178-62.

The Steeler D held the mostly punchless Carolina offense to three field goals from the ageless John Kasay and a touchdown from Brett Basanez to Chris Hannon with 1:54 left in the game. With the score sitting at 16-15, Carolina coach John Fox elected to go for the tie in lieu of a two-point conversion, which bothered both players and fans (especially the guy that was clearly audible yelling at Fox on the KDKA/FSN/WPCW/Whatever Other Station Aired the Game Last Night Because of the Democratic National Convention broadcast).

Luckily, rookie QB Dennis "Don't Call Me Kordell" Dixon marched the Steelers downfield in short order and set up The Internet's Favorite Kicker for his second game-winner in as many weeks.

And with the Skipper's fourth field goal of the evening, we bid adieu to another season of preseason "action". It's been fun, but not as fun as the regular season will be. Polish your black-and-gold goggles, warm up your Terrible Towel, and fire up the tailgating. We've got an appointment with the Texans next weekend.

News and notes:

--Jerome Bettis was on the sideline, in town for an appearance at the new Tanger Outlet Mall in Washington, PA and his ESPN 1250 Radio debut today at 5:30.

--It's official: Arnold Harrison will miss the entire season after tearing his ACL for a second time. Personally, it's a crushing blow for the 25-year-old linebacker, who looked to have the team made.

--From the "Not Really a Bold Prediction" Department: Maybe it's just me, but I'm not counting on WR Limas Sweed to have a Randy Moss-circa '98 rookie season.

--Can we get a radar gun on Byron Leftwich? Please?

--As far as battles go, Willie Reid returned 2 kicks for 49 yards, Mr. Drummond 2 for 57 yards (and a punt for 5 yards, plus 2 catches for 10 yards), and Dallas Baker had 2 catches for 35 yards. The PG's Gerry Dulac says it's down to Baker and Reid.

--Anthony Smith had another bone-jarring hit last night, and thankfully it wasn't on Hines Ward or any of his other teammates.

--Keyaron Fox led the Steelers with 9 tackles and will add solid depth to the linebacking corps this season.

--Mewelde Moore had a nice 26-yard reception out of the backfield and looks like he'll be a solid contributor when called upon.

--Mitch Berger: 2 punts for 88 yards, long 48. Paul Ernster: 2 punts for 55 yards, long 33. You know what that means...POLL TIME!

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MONDESI'S HOUSE INTERVIEW: JIM COLONY OF ESPN 1250

I'm sure most of you know that I've interviewed ESPN 1250's Jim Colony in the past, but after hearing about his newest gig, I had to ask him a few questions. You see, Jim (along with Ken Laird) is going to be part of 1250's "Friday Night Lights" broadcast of WPIAL high school football games this season.

The first game is tomorrow (Friday) night, pitting the Penn Hills Indians against the Gateway Gators (currently ranked #3 in the country by USA Today). Coverage begins at 7:30 PM, and you can also listen online at the 1250 website.

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High school football just seems to get bigger and bigger in Western Pennsylvania. We've had years of very thorough televised news coverage, a greater commitment from local newspapers, and televised games. How much impact does your station hope to have on the high school media landscape with your broadcasts?

We’re already all over all the major sports in town, so covering high school football (which is a major sport in itself) is a natural extension. We just hope to bring a major-market feel to the broadcasts. The opener (Penn Hills at Gateway) should be a good one.

The Gators are ranked #3 in the nation according to USA Today. What should we look forward to in that contest?

Gateway may be nationally-ranked but, locally, Penn Hills is right behind so it’s not inconceivable that they’ll meet again at Heinz Field (although obviously NA, McKesport and others will have something to say about that). All I know is I did a few all-star games in Massachusetts and have never called a game involving this many D-1 prospects. It’s certainly a great way to start the season.

Doing your hometown Pine-Richland Rams in week two, I see. I'm sure we can trust that you'll be a totally neutral broadcaster, right?

Although my tax dollars helped build that luxurious stadium, my hometown is actually Keene, New Hampshire . . . as in the KHS Blackbirds. I’m told Blackbirds are the tamest species not yet extinct and they’re not all that good in NH much less PA so they would get hammered by either team, plus my kids are long gone from PRHS. I haven’t seen the Pine-Richland roster yet, so I may give a shoutout to a familiar name but it shouldn’t be a problem. I will warn USC fans that both our kids, Chris and Pat, are on the Spirit Room mural in the back of the Press Box so I can’t help but mention that.

I see that your first five weeks of games has been set. Is the second half of the season set as well, or does the WPIAL allow "flex-scheduling"?

We’re ESPN so we can do whatever we want. Honestly, I would prefer "Plex-scheduling." I miss him in the locker room. Actually, it’s just so we can pick the best game involving teams within range of our nighttime signal.

I miss him too, Jim.

Outside of this experience, what live events have you covered in the past?

I’ve covered 2 NBA Finals, 3 Super Bowls, 4 Stanley Cup Finals, 4 US Opens (including Women’s), 5 LCS and 1 World Series … plus The Wing Championship Series. But, if you mean play-by-play … probably 4-500 games (on radio and TV) … high school and college football, basketball, hockey, baseball and even pro soccer.

As you're well aware, sports fans love to bash announcers, especially on the internet. Will you keep any of their common complaints (cliches, talk wandering from game action, etc.) in mind when conducting your broadcast?

The most common complaint among high school fans is "I could tell he wanted the other team to win." Much of my HS play-by-play experience has involved neutral games including some pretty heated rivalries and I used to actually get a lot of compliments from both sides, so we’ll be fine. If fans can stand my occasional Varsity Blues references I think they’ll like what we do. Even if some don’t, I’ll always have my 76% approval rating in Mondesi’s House.

Any hopes of convincing noted vegetarian Ken Laird of eating a concession-stand hot dog during a game?

No, but that leaves more dogs for me.

Many of the players you'll see this season aspire to play at the next level. With that in mind, take out your crystal ball and tell us where Pitt, Penn State, and West Virginia will finish this season.

I think West Virginia and Pitt are better teams that Penn State, but the Nittany Lions could end up with a better record if that makes any sense. PSU’s looks like a 10-2 schedule so even one screw-up still leaves 9-3 with 8-4 at worst. WVU has Pat White which makes every game winnable, but I have a feeling that the Big East could end up a big jumble like Walt Harris’ final season or, actually, maybe more like 2 years ago but instead of WVU, Rutgers, Louisville it’ll be WVU, South Florida and Pitt. One thing is for certain: Pitt really has to win 8 games this season and I think the Panthers will.

And finally, let me throw you an over-under: nine wins for the Steelers?

You’re probably right on the number, but, if I had to go one way or the other, I’d go 10-6 … nonetheless, 8-8 could still win the AFC North.

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Thanks to Jim for the time and don't forget to click these Jim Colony Links!

ESPN 1250: Friday Night Lights [ESPN 1250]

Mondesishouse.com: 15 Questions with Jim Colony of ESPN Radio [Mondesi's House]

Jim Colony [Wikipedia]

MONDESI'S HOUSE FAQ

Ever have a question about the site that you were dying to know the answer to? Probably not, but I'm going to answer them anyway. It's the Mondesi's House frequently asked questions!

Who writes Mondesi's House?

My name is Don Spagnolo, and I write virtually everything you see on the site. I started Mondesi's House in June of 2006 at the age of 28. My parents were both journalism majors in college and I fully blame/thank them for my addiction to writing. And no, I don't live in their basement. But thanks for asking.

Where did you come up with the name for the site?

I was inspired by Raul Mondesi, an outfielder who the Pirates signed for the 2004 season. He would play just 26 games in a Pirate uniform, due to one of the most incredible/ridiculous stories one will ever hear from an athlete.

Just a month into the 2004 campaign, Mondesi told the Pirates that he was the victim of an extortion plot by former hitting instructor Mario Guerrero and that his family in the Dominican Republic was in danger, claiming that he would have to leave and may never play baseball again.

The Pirates allowed Mondesi to return home during the season but quickly grew tired/skeptical of his story and ultimately released him a week later. With his life fully in order, Mondesi signed a contract a mere 10 days later with Anaheim, a deal that was quickly investigated by Major League Baseball due to the questionable circumstances.

Shortly after he signed with the Angels, he tore his quad (karma?) and was placed on the DL. He was released by the Angels in July of '04 for not showing up for his rehab therapy.

Atlanta arrogantly signed Mondesi as a reclamation project in 2005 and proved once and for all that he was at the end of the line, appearing in just 41 games and producing 4 HR that season.

From a comedic point of view, I considered it the most ingenious maneuver ever as far as getting out from under a McClatchy/Nutting-Era Pirate contract. And considering I started the site in the midst of some of the worst Pirate baseball ever seen, I thought it would serve as the backdrop for the site's style, meshing serious Pittsburgh sports talk with a heavy dose of comedy and sarcasm. And FYI, Raul Mondesi is in no way affiliated with the site.

What's the logo supposed to be?

The extortionist bullets being shot at his house in the Dominican, of course.

Why do you blog?

First of all, I've always loved writing. In fact, I wish I could write at greater length, but there's only so many hours in a day. Needless to say, the posts where I can spend several hours, do some serious research and add some pictures are my favorites.

In 2006, after much internal debate, I started the blog. I wanted an outlet to vent my frustrations and voice my opinions among like-minded Pittsburghers. Luckily, the blog caught on and has grown steadily since its inception. With its increased readership comes more exposure, more opportunities, more access, and more scrutiny. It's been an interesting ride.

Although my style is often sarcastic, I take the rules of journalism very seriously. On this site, you will always find sources, and you will quickly realize that I always do my research, especially in reference to statistics.

Why should I read your site?

Ample original material and plenty of links to other interesting finds on the web, including a live-feed blogroll of nearly 200 other Pittsburgh-based blogs on the right sidebar.

What do you cover?

Anything related to Pittsburgh (even beyond sports), including the Steelers, Pirates, Penguins, and Panthers, and some national stuff on a minor level.

I'm new. Where do I start?

The right sidebar, my friend. That's where you'll find all of the "greatest hits", my personal collection of favorite articles, as well as an archive of everything ever posted here.

--How do I leave a comment?

Comments are highly encouraged. I think they're really interesting and add a lot to the site. I certainly respect a difference of opinion and welcome interaction among the readers. That said, you can sign up at www.blogger.com for your free account and log in whenever you feel like adding your two cents.

I have a pretty long rope with comments, but try to keep it in good taste. Vulgar attacks, especially those of a personal nature, will not be tolerated and are subject to removal at my discretion. We're here to talk sports and have a good time, not make enemies. Try your best to keep it civil.

How do I contact you?

Mondesishouse@gmail.com. I welcome feedback, opinions, and links/tips to interesting stuff.

Do you have advertising available?

Yes, we have several text-link advertising options available. Please email mondesishouse@gmail.com for further information.

How can my business/website sponsor a contest?

Whenever possible, we offer a contest to our readers to reward them for the links they send in. This is available as a sponsorship with the only investment being a prize valued at $50 or more. Please email for more details - availability is limited.

What's an RSS feed?

Basically, it's a tool that lets you know when your favorite websites are updated. Those are the little "feed" logos you see sprinkled throughout the right sidebar. I highly recommend downloading Klipfolio to utilize this feature.

Do you have any other projects or write for any other publications?

Outside of Mondesi's House, I've written about Pittsburgh-centric topics on several occasions for Deadspin.com, including three Steeler season previews, two Pirate season previews, and their memorial of Myron Cope.

In 2010, I officially joined 93.7 The Fan CBS-FM in Pittsburgh as a contributor. My work will consist of authoring exclusive content for their website as well as appearing on their various talk shows throughout the week.

How can I get my blog linked to yours?

If any bloggers out there would like their site linked in the sidebar, just send an email to mondesishouse@gmail.com with the site name and URL.

A few very minor requirements from your site:
--It must cover either Pittsburgh, sports, or entertainment
--Updated at least once a month
--Must link to Mondesi's House
And that's it. Not too painless. The offer is open to blogs only, so if you are interested in a link for your business, please email for advertising rates.

THE PEDRO ALVAREZ MESS ROLLS ON

Breaking news coming in from the PBC Blog on human soap-opera Pedro Alvarez:

"The Major League Baseball Players Assocation today will file a grievance against the Pirates regarding the signing of first-round draft pick Pedro Alvarez, according to two sources.

The union's contention is that Alvarez agreed to his contract after the Aug. 15 midnight deadline."

The Pirates struck back with a statement that makes a pretty strong case against agent Scott "Darth" Boras, but...ugh. Why must this black cloud continue to linger above this franchise?

Union to file grievance regarding Alvarez; status of contract in dispute [PG]

NEWS AND NOTES

Emailer Scott theorized that Cubs pitcher Jeff Samardzija was the first person to compete at both Heinz Field (as a Notre Dame WR against Pitt in 2005) and last night against the Pirates. I'm pretty sure he's right, although he should leave the two-sport picture to Bo.

On to the news...

--About that game...the Pirates lost yet again, this time by a 14-9 count. Geovany Soto had seven runs batted in for Chicago, who has the league's best record at 82-50. The Pirates stand at 57-75, still nine games out of the overall basement, currently occupied by Washington. But look on the bright side: seven more losses to make history! [Trib]

--After a 2 1/2-hour meeting, there's no resolution yet in the Steelers ownership situation. When you're talking millions, there's no easy answer. [KDKA]

--Controversial columnist/ESPN personality Jay Mariotti resigned from the Chicago Sun-Times. By the way, did you know Mariotti attended Trinity High in Washington, PA? Did you care? [The Big Lead]

--ESPN seems to have forgotten Shady McCoy on their list of Heisman Hopefuls. Hey, mistakes happen. [ESPN.com]

--Sounds like pitcher Craig Hansen was a bit unpleasant in a post-game exchange with Dejan Kovacevic. [PBC Blog]

--Looks like King Pryor is going to get some game action on Saturday against Youngstown State. [Trib]

--Here's the best and worst players this year and all-time from every NFL team. That's one ambitious blogger. [Bush League]

--Forbes ranks Pittsburgh as the 10th-worst city to be a sports fan. [Forbes.com]

--And in more depressing news, Pittsburgh residents have the fifth-lowest median household income among residents of larger cities around the country, at $32,363. [PG]

--Add Ravens QB Kyle Boller to the list of players who might miss the 2008 season. Thankfully, the Ravens have two other quarterbacks perfectly capable of taking a beating at the hands of the Steelers. [PFT]

--Here's the 9 Worst Recent Fashion Trends for Douchebags. [The Comedy Feed]

Got news? Email it to mondesishouse@gmail.com and win stuff! New contest starts tonight, and congrats to last week's winner STEVE M. who gets a Rings N'at t-shirt courtesy of www.burghshirts.com.

ASK AN EXPERT: COLIN DUNLAP EDITION

Recently, I got an email from a new reader who spends a good amount of his spare time coaching high school football in Fayette County. It read, verbatim, like this:

"Don, I have a question for you. Do people even realize that Fayette County is even included in the WPIAL. I do realize that we have not been exactly a hotbed of football as of late, but cmon can anyone even throw us a freakin bone here. It irritates the hell out of me that every year goes by without even a wisper up us down here. I would have to check my stats, but without looking, I know that there is a lot of great tradition here and a ton of great athletes that have come out of this lowly area. I also realize that the postgazette and trib are geared towards the Pittsburgh media but even the local papers don't cover us until the lame local pigskin comes out. I know that you have no control over this, but thought maybe you could give all the kids and coaches a shout out, that are working just as hard in these dog days of August as all of those "Big Time" schools in the Burgh."

Yep, looks like we have an East Coast Bias-type claim coming from Fayette County.

Rather than answer this myself, I decided to use this as an opportunity to create yet another new ongoing series: "Ask an Expert". The design of the series is that I'll pull a question from time to time and toss it out to a media friend for their response.

Joining us on the maiden voyage is the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette's Colin Dunlap.

As per his PG bio, Colin is a sports reporter for the Post-Gazette whose primary focus is high school coverage, but he has covered a variety of stories in everything from the Sports section to Local News to Magazine and Food. Yes, even Food.

After working as a freelance correspondent for the PG for about three years, he was hired by the Post-Gazette in July 2006. Colin is one of the forces behind Varsity Blogs, post-gazette.com's scholastic sports blog.

To boot, we email each other numerous times each week on topics ranging from Pedro Alvarez to the beer vending machine. So I figured he might lend his time, and lend he did.

And now, in the words of Colin Dunlap...

Where should I begin my retort?

Perhaps, first, I should remind you that at the very top of our paper it says Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, emphasis on Pittsburgh.

Instead, though, I’ll throw some numbers at you. There are eight school districts (Uniontown, Connellsville, Southmoreland, Belle Vernon, Frazier, Brownsville, Laurel Highlands and Albert Gallatin) with area that falls, at least in part, in Fayette County.

Consider this:

- The combined records of those schools last year were 20-55.

- Not one of those schools finished the season with a winning record, as Belle Vernon topped the heap with a 5-5 mark.

- The eight aforementioned schools were outscored a combined 1184-2314 on the year.

- Albert Gallatin scored the lowest amount of points (64) among all WPIAL Class AAA schools; that works out to 7.1 per game.

- The last of those eight schools to play for a WPIAL title was Belle Vernon, in 1999.

So, if that isn’t enough, also consider the following --- there are 123 schools playing football in the WPIAL and 9 playing in the City League.

As I have said, there are eight, EIGHT, in Fayette County. That works out to 6 percent of the schools in the entire WPIAL and City League.

Do we devote at least 6 percent of our high school coverage to those schools? Yes, without question.

Open up our Saturday morning paper once in awhile and you’ll see. End of story.

Please, also allow the following parallel for the whole our kids "are working just as hard in these dog days of August as all of those ‘Big Time’ schools in the Burgh."

My high school buddies are in a local band called Good Brother Earl. They make solid music, work hard, put everything they have into it.

Are they U2? No.

Radiohead? Not exactly.

The Red Hot Chili Peppers? Nope.

Good Brother Earl is what it is --- a very solid local band that realizes there are bigger and better acts out there. The e-mailer should learn something from Good Brother Earl --- just because Fayette County football players work hard doesn’t mean that they automatically merit the same acclaim as some of their counterparts who are, in short, better, more highly skilled and have a larger following.

------

1,000 thank yous to Colin for his participation. If you have a question, send it to mondesishouse@gmail.com for a future post. And don't forget to visit the Varsity Blog and make it a regular stop as part of your daily web-surfing agenda.

NEWS AND NOTES

--That's five losses in a row for the new-look Pirates, who dropped a 12-3 decision to the Cubs last night. Starter Jeff Karstens did not throw a perfect game.

--The Rooney brothers sit down with Roger Goodell today. Oh, to be a fly on the wall... [Trib]

--Ron Cook says to be careful what you wish for at Penn State. [PG]

--Obligatory link to the story about the 9-year-old kid that's "too good for his little league", the topic du jour for both Mike & Mike and Dan Patrick this morning. [Yahoo!]

--Pitt vs. Auburn in the Fiesta Bowl? That's the projection from ESPN's Bruce Feldman. I can live with that. [ESPN.com]

--Three ESPN analysts picked Pitt to win the Big East this year. [ESPN.com]

--10 days later, where is Pedro Alvarez? [PBC Blog]

--Kimbo Slice will meet Ken Shamrock on October 4, to be broadcast on CBS. Hopefully we won't see any exploding ears this time around. [The Big Lead]

--Bob Smizik talks to PSAMP. This should be good. [PSAMP]

--Is Daunte Culpepper being blackballed? [PFT]

--Mark Schlereth's armpits have never been this happy. [Joe Sports Fan]

--A sarcastic look at 10 Things To Look Forward To This College Football Season. [Gump for Heisman]

--Former Portland Trail Blazer Kevin Duckworth is dead at 44. [TrueHoop]

--Jenna Jameson and Tito Ortiz are expecting. [SPORTSbyBROOKS]

Got news? Email it to mondesishouse@gmail.com - you could win a prize!

MENDENHALL'S BALL WORTH $100

Welcome to the NFL, Rashard Mendenhall.

From the Trib:

Steelers wide receiver Hines Ward figured a little education was necessary after Mendenhall lost a pair of fumbles in the Steelers' 12-10 preseason victory over Minnesota on Saturday night.

Mendenhall arrived at the Steelers' South Side practice facility on Monday morning to find the following message scribbled onto the grease board in the locker room: "Take Mendenhall's ball away and get $100 from him. And you get an extra $500 if you bring it to the RB's meeting room."

There was also a special football waiting for Mendenhall's almost undivided attention.

"It says 'Mendenhall's $100 ball.' You get it, you will get paid," Ward said.

Mendenhall is expected to carry the ball all day, as Mr. Ward elaborated on: "Meeting rooms, bathrooms, when he's out pumping gas..."

So far, only safety Tyrone Carter and DB Travis Williams have earned the $100.

What does the rookie think of the tactic, inspired by Ward's recent viewing of the college football movie The Program?

"It's real tough, a little unrealistic if you ask me, with 80 guys, all the time, all day," Mendenhall said.

Yeah, sounds like it's going over well. Nothing like having a team full of enormous football players chasing you wherever you go, even in the bathroom, in pursuit of cash. For his sake, I hope he doesn't cough up the ball on Thursday against Carolina, because his $6.83 million signing bonus might evaporate by the time September rolls around.

Mendenhall gets gripping lessons [Trib]

JUSTIN HARTWIG CHOSEN TO SAVE THE DAY

Get familiar with this face, because it's the face of your new starting center. Justin Hartwig has won the job, etching his name in the history books as the starter in an organization that's boasted Ray Mansfield, Mike Webster, Dermontti Dawson, Jeff Hartings...and Sean Mahan.

"We watched this battle closely. We have a level of comfort with his size, strength and range," said coach Mike Tomlin after today's practice.

Yeah, it's not really surprising news, but it had to be done at some point. The blog Post Game Heroes, which always does a great job breaking down Steeler O-line play, "tackled" the issue in depth a few weeks ago and summarized after conclusive research that it was a no-brainer in Hartwig's favor, stating that "Mahan was actually MUCH worse than you even thought."

That's not hard to believe, given the disaster of line play we watched for the duration of the 2007. And while it's true that center is an important position to have undecided to this point, it could be worse, all things considered. Look around at what's gone on around the league: Peyton Manning has missed the entire preseason, Arizona doesn't know who their starting QB is going to be, Shawne Merriman might have a career-threatening injury, both of the Bengals' receivers are hurt, Derek Anderson suffered a concussion, Carson Palmer broke his nose, Osi Umenyiora is out for the season, et al. What I'm saying is that I know it's a major deal to have issues on the line but things could be much worse.

Steelers name Hartwig starting center, make first cuts [PG]

Justin Hartwig vs Sean Mahan = No Contest [Post Game Heroes]

JEREMY BLOOM BECOMES STEELER ALUM

And so we bid adieu to punt returner Jeremy Bloom, the now-former Steeler whose resume also includes male modeling and olympic skiing. The female division of Steeler Nation is surely beside themselves with the news.

Bloom's 2008 preseason stats included zero punt returns, which isn't a good number for a guy who was trying to make the team as a punt returner. So it goes without saying that his release was not a major surprise. That only leaves about 22 other punt returners in camp.

Also released were quarterback Mike Potts and defensive lineman Martavius Prince. The team must release one more player by 4 p.m. tomorrow to get the NFL roster limit of 75.

Steelers cut Bloom, place Sepulveda on IR [Trib]

NEWS AND NOTES

A Jeff Reed picture I actually don't mind looking at

--Yes, I know I didn't get to cover it due to some scheduling issues on Sunday, but Jeff Reed beat the Vikings, 12-10, on Saturday night. The defense looked good, the offensive line looked bad, and Rashard Mendenhall lost two fumbles. Meh. [ESPN.com]

--The Brewers beat the Bucs 4-3 in 12 innings on Sunday, breaking out the brooms in the process. [Trib]

--The Steelers have the least amount of salary cap room remaining in the league. Cynical Steeler fans who always blamed the team's problems on "those cheap Rooneys" must look elsewhere for a complaint. [PSI]

--Here's the longest article you'll ever read on WPIAL coaching salaries. [Trib]

--It's The Wayne Gretzky Sucks Photoshop Expo! That's a cause I can fully support. [The Pensblog]

--Ron Cook says the Steelers can't do without Aaron Smith. [PG]

--Could former Pitt QB Joe Flacco (Tyler Palko's backup) be the starter in Baltimore? Let's hope. [AOL]

--That crazy Swedish wrestler was right. [The Big Lead]

--Spotlight on Johnstown real estate! [Straight Outta Johnstown)

--This year's Dancing with the Stars cast: Kim Kardashian, the poor man's Paris Hilton; professional roaster Jeffrey Ross; former 'N Sync singer Lance Bass; actor Ted McGinley (also known as "Jefferson D'Arcy", Al Bundy's neighbor; celebrity chef Rocco DiSpirito. Gold medalists Misty May-Treanor and Maurice Greene; Hannah Montana star Cody Linley; singer Toni Braxton; All My Children's Susan Lucci; former Wild On host Brooke Burke; and 82-year-old actress Cloris Leachman.

--Big Ben ranks #6 on the NFL QB Douche-o-meter. Is that good or bad? [Gustafun.com]

--Here's the Pitt football season preview as done by the author of Pitt Blather, featuring one of the greatest Wannstache photos ever. [EDSBS]

--Check out this article on the next wave in offense: the A-11, featuring two QBs on the field at once. My favorite line: "He and Humphries have a deal with American Football Monthly magazine to market videotapes ($39.95 each) and an installation manual ($199). "

I'll tell you, if there's one chore that's tough to do without a manual, it's installing an offense.

--Here's video of the taekwondo ref-kick at the Olympics [Kiss 96.1]

--Presenting your 2009 MLB free agents (that the Pirates won't sign). [MLB Trade Rumors]

--Hugging Harold Reynolds points out a Steeler-related grammatical error. [HHR]

--It might take $8 million to lure Michael Strahan out of retirement. [PFT]

--Former Steeler Assistant Ken Whisenhunt named Kurt Warner the Arizona Cardinals' starting QB over Matt Leinart. [Sporting News]

--A Parkersburg-area breeder has surrendered approximately 1,000 dogs to humane society officials. [PG]

--Meet the Obama look-alike. [TMZ]

--9 Reasons It’s Better To Be A College Freshman Now Than It Was In 1998. Luckily, I was a freshman in 1995, when we were introduced to something called "text-based internet service" that ran about as fast as Casey Hampton. [Comedy.com]

--I realize this might be a reach, but are there any art collectors in our audience? My friend Mark Panza, who runs Panza Gallery in Millvale (the best place to get a jersey framed in the city, by the way), is pretty psyched about an exhibit he's hosting that features work from a 91-year-old artist. The PG recently did a story on it, and if you're so inclined, check it out.

Got news? Email it to mondesishouse@gmail.com - you could win a prize!

TRENNI KUSNIEREK SAYS MILWAUKEE > PITTSBURGH

Here's some news that will break the hearts of her numerous Pittsburgh fans...former FSN Pittsburgh personality Trenni Kusnierek just wrote a piece for OnMilwaukee.com in which she ranks several aspects of Pittsburgh and Milwaukee side-by-side. The verdict will not be enjoyed by Yinzer Nation.

Kusnierek said that Milwaukee's baseball atmosphere, downtown, nightlife, and overall city life are all superior to Pittsburgh's. She did give the Steel City the edge in "overall sports scene" and shopping. Restaurants were a draw, although she did give the Primanti's shout-out, which is required by law in any reference to Pittsburgh cuisine.

How about this for a parting shot: "Pittsburgh again is much like Milwaukee in its blue collar drinking habits, but the lack of patios and more low key bars hurt the cityʼs overall score. Also lacking after dark, young and single professionals. Pittsburgh has been dead last or in the bottom five of Forbes "Best Cities for Singles" list the last five years running."

Rebuttals, anyone? Regardless of Trenni's Milwaukee roots, I have a hard time believing that as a town we're second-fiddle to the inspiration for Laverne and Shirley.

A Tale of Two Cities: Milwaukee vs. Pittsburgh [OnMilwaukee.com]

STORY OF THE YEAR CANDIDATE

Sorry for the late posting, but I just heard about this story and had to share. If I may quote the finest newspaper in the Mon Valley, The Valley Independent, and put the good parts in bold...

Witnesses told police a pilot was antagonizing students practicing soccer at Belle Vernon Area High School and golfers on the links at Willowbrook Golf Course shortly before he crashed 7:43 p.m. Tuesday.

Rostraver Police received various reports that Jay Tokar, 46, of 250 Adams Drive, Rostraver Township, was yelling and attempting to spit on people below shortly before the accident.

He was flying just 10 to 15 feet above the ground, witnesses told police.

He was piloting a glider-type, single-seat craft in a northern direction near the No. 4 fairway when he crashed into a tow line used as a ski lift.

Tremendous. Absolutely tremendous. But not as good as Ronnie Florian lumping the bride and groom.

Plane crashes in Rostraver [Valley Independent]

Update: From a totally different article, some added history on the pilot:

"In August 2003, Tokar crashed his aircraft in the Cobblestone-St. Ives housing plan in Hempfield. "

That's quite the flying resume he's working on, no?

MONDESI'S HOUSE INVADES YOUR RADIO

Just wanted to make a quick mention, I'll be on the WDVE Morning show Friday at approximately 9:45 AM EST to talk Steelers and anything else on the minds of Jim Krenn, Randy Baumann, and whoever else happens to be in the studio that day.

You can listen live on 102.5 FM, and for those of you out of town, you can listen live on the internet. Just click on the "listen live" icon and you're all set.

JOSE BAUTISTA A BLUE JAY

Earlier this afternoon, the Pirates consummated a trade with the Toronto Blue Jays that sent 3B Jose Bautista north of the border for the always-intriguing Minor Leaguer To Be Named Later.

Rather than bore you with statistics, I'll limit my coverage to an email that our very own A.J. sent me a few hours after the deal that pretty much summarizes what it's like to be a baseball fan in Pittsburgh in August:

"So... let me explain the situation. I just got home from work a while ago and am relaxing on the couch as I type this on my laptop. I just watched the sports segment with Fedko on the Channel 11 News.

Lead off story... Steelers/Farrior contract, followed by Tomlin talking about Saturday, cutaway to Rich Walsh at Steelers HQ talking about the defense and Polamalu. Then a mention on Gene Upshaw passing with subsequent interview with Charlie Batch (Steelers NFLPA rep). Next... a season preview of Baldwin High School's football team complete with shots of practice and an interview with one of the greatest yinzer coaches in the WPIAL (he actually tagged a sentence with the term "and stuff n'at"... that's like a double n'at... awesome)

Then...as the sports segment is wrapping up... almost as an afterthought... Fedko throws in (almost speed reading to end the segment before they go to commercial).. and the Pirates trade Jose Bautista to Toronto for a player to be named later.

Gotta love Pittsburgh baseball come August... a somewhat significant personnel move is almost forgotten, tucked away in a newscast behind a mention of a dead Oakland Raider and pre season high school football. Awesome.

I truly forget what it feels like to even give the slightest of s**ts about baseball at this time of year. I bet it must be nice... but I can't recall."

Well said, A.J. But did you hear we signed Pedro Alvarez?

NEWS AND NOTES

*Lots of new local blogs in the sidebar live feed this week. Be sure to check them out*

--ESPN's Steve Braband, profiled in depth on this very site recently, has a new blog: Steve is Alive.

--Cardinals 11, Pirates 2. Jason Davis yielded nine hits and eight runs in 3 2/3. Let's move on...

--33-year-old LB James Farrior just got re-signed with the Steelers through 2012 in a deal worth more than $18 million with a $5 million signing bonus to boot. [PG]

--How do you shut up Peter King? Let him shovel some popcorn into his mouth. [Awful Announcing]

--The "Boom Goes the Dynamite" guy landed a real sportcasting job. [Deadspin]

--NFLPA head honcho and former Raider Gene Upshaw passed away from pancreatic cancer at age 63. [PG]

--The clock is ticking on Marvel Smith's Steeler career. Great, another lame duck offensive lineman! [Trib]

--Slamball will be coming back to CBS and Versus. I don't know about you, but I'll sleep better tonight. [MSN]

--Here's 5 Vending Machine Items Of The Future. This one might do well outside of Heinz Field. [Wall Street Fighter]

Got news? Email it to mondesishouse@gmail.com - you could win a prize!

STEELER NATION INVADES THE OLYMPICS

Thanks to emailer Mike A. (and numerous others who sent it) for this recent screen shot of ESPN.com, which features a Terrible Towel prominently waving in the background of an Olympic medal ceremony. What would posess a Steeler fan to bring one of these to the Olympics is beyond me. Of course, no one ever accused Steeler fans of being logical.

STEELERS DEADSPIN PREVIEW

For those of you who would rather read this here, I proudly unveil the 2008 Steelers Preview I wrote for Deadspin.com....

20 Questions Fans Are Asking About the 2008 Pittsburgh Steelers

Once again, I am returning from my Western Pennsylvania-based nerdery to write a Deadspin season preview containing entirely too many words and pictures about a Pittsburgh sports franchise. I know my articles used to give Will fits from a formatting point-of-view, but he begrudgingly asked me back twice each year to saturate you in all things Yinzer. Hopefully I can live up to the expectations built up so graciously by the Deadspin Commenters for this year's edition.

In 2006, I wrote a list of 50 Reasons Why I Love the Steelers for my preview. In 2007, I ranked the 50 Biggest Stories in the Steeler Universe (on the field and off) Since Last Year's Preview. They were both pretty well-received, but there was one minor problem: they really weren't previews. I read the assignment two years ago from Mr. Leitch as it still reads today: "We asked a gaggle of writers, from the Web, from print, from books, even a TV guy or two, to tell us, in as many or as little words as they need, why My Team Is Better Than Your Team. This is not meant to be factual, or dispassionate, or even logical: We just asked them to riff on why they love their team so much, or what their team means to them, or whatever. "

Basically, it looked like a license to write whatever I wanted about the Steelers, so I took him up on the offer. "Why's my team is better than your team? Here's 50 reasons."

That's what created this monster.

With that in mind, I am setting out this year to write an actual preview of your 2008 Pittsburgh Steelers season. What happened in training camp? What's going on with ownership? What can we expect from Steely McBeam? These questions will all be answered in this year's Steeler Preview: 20 Questions Fans Are Asking About the 2008 Pittsburgh Steelers.

Let's begin.

20. Should Steeler fans be concerned about the 2008 schedule?

Steeler fans should never worry about the schedule. Other teams should worry about having to play the Steelers.

That being said, we’ve got quite the gauntlet to run this year: road games against New England, Washington, Tennessee, Philadelphia, and Jacksonville; home games against Dallas, Indianapolis, the Super Bowl Champion Giants, San Diego, Houston; and did I mention six divisional grudge-matches with Cleveland, Baltimore and Cincinnati?

All of the 10 teams on their non-divisional schedule finished at .500 or better in 2007, and eight of the 10 made the playoffs. But the Steelers have a knack of playing better when their backs are against the wall and “no one gives them a chance” [channeling Hines Ward], so this may just work out for the best. At least that’s what I’m telling myself.

19. Why did the Steelers give OT Max Starks a one-year tender worth nearly $7 million guaranteed?

I have no answer for you, so I’ve narrowed it down to four options:

A. He has compromising pictures of Kevin Colbert, Mike Tomlin, or both.

B. They wanted to spend some money on an offensive lineman in the offseason, but Alan Faneca annoyed them one too many times.

C. He’s the centerpiece of the Steeler charity basketball team.

D. They wanted to set a team record for the largest contract ever given to a backup lineman.

In other words, your guess is as good as mine.

18. With the releases of RB Najeh Davenport in 2008 and Duce Staley during 2006, what will bloggers do to try and recreate the predictable poop jokes every single time they reference Steeler running backs?

I don’t know…can you make some off-color reference out of the name “Mewelde?”

In actuality, the Steelers should have quite the formidable backfield in 2008. Willie Parker was leading the league in rushing at the time of his injury last year and will try to get back to his 2006 numbers: 1,716 yards of offense and 16 touchdowns. Behind Parker, there’s 2007 Big Tenleven MVP Rashard Mendenhall, former Minnesota Viking Mewelde Moore, and second-year man Gary Russell, as well as fullback Carey Davis. This should not be an area of concern for the team in ’08.

17. Who will be the Steelers' starting punter in 2008?

Due to the season-ending ACL injury to incumbent Daniel Sepulveda, there’s an open competition for the job. As of this writing, it’s either Paul Ernster, who famously booted a 15-yarder at Heinz Field as a Cleveland Brown in 2007, or Mitch Berger, who‘s on his seventh NFL team. And you know how the saying goes…”When you have two punters, you have no punters.”

16. Who will be the Steelers' starting punt returner in 2008?

I don't know. You doin' anything on Sundays?

Let’s just say that special teams have not exactly been a strong point of the team, if you haven’t already gotten that memo by the tone of the last two questions. They lost one of their team’s true strengths with the defection of Antwaan Randle-El to Washington shortly after the Super Bowl, a blow to the return game that they still haven’t recovered from.

They actually traded up to draft a punter in the fourth round of the 2007 draft, the same guy who tore his ACL. Before that, the punter was the unblock able Chris Gardocki, a man Steeler fans will forget no time soon. Ironically, the strong point of the special teams unit, kicker Jeff Reed, is remarkably consistent, hitting 23 of 25 field goals last season, yet he is probably better known for his ongoing series of internet pictures seen prominently on the very site you‘re reading.

But back to the question at hand, the competition for the punt returner job has so far included Chiefs castoff Eddie “Mister” Drummond, the aforementioned Mewelde Moore, perennial disappointment Willie Reid, former skier/male model Jeremy Bloom, and rookie defensive back Travis Williams.

The face of the Steelers' punt returner? To quote Martin Prince, "highly dubious."

Plus, Mike Tomlin just added that Santonio Holmes may run some back in a situational role reminiscent of Hall of Famer Darrell Green’s with Washington. Long story short, it sounds like another season in which anything can happen once the ball leaves the punter’s foot.

15. If new backup QB Byron Leftwich is so great, why was he still available to any team that wanted him in August?

Good question. In his first preseason game, we saw flashes of why he was available, like his insistence on throwing frozen ropes to receivers standing about five yards in front of him and the escapability of your average 80-year-old. But he does throw a ball that WR Nate Washington actually catches, which is a feat in itself.

You can rip on Leftwich all you want, but at least he wasn’t dumb enough to presume that he would get a shot at Ben Roethlisberger’s starting quarterback job, like a certain unnamed Culpepper allegedly did at his tryout.

Steeler Nation welcomes you with welcome arms, Byron, as you step into a role that historically transforms a person into one of the most popular people in Pittsburgh: the Steelers’ backup quarterback. If only Kordell Stewart were playing in front of you, there’s a great chance you would probably be even more popular.

14. Why was NT Casey Hampton placed on the PUP list to start camp?

I’m guessing it had something to do with his diet and a thorough dislike for an exercise known to you and I as “jogging”.

But Hampton’s body was THE definitive story at the start of training camp, inspiring bloggers everywhere to dig up that picture of Hampton with his shirt open and a bottle of vodka in his hand.

Personally, I went for the picture of Hampton sitting in the first row at a Penguin playoff game and giving the glass all it could handle after celebrating a Marian Hossa goal.

Let’s hope that time on the PUP list serves as the public kick-in-the-pants that it was intended to be.

13. Speaking of offseason distractions, what are WR Cedrick Wilson and LB James Harrison up to?

Wilson, who was arrested on March 19 after allegedly assaulting his girlfriend at a Pittsburgh-area Mexican restaurant, was released hours later by the team. Following a 2007 season in which he had 18 catches and a touchdown, he is now coaching high school football and taking classes at the University of Memphis in hopes of becoming a teacher.

Harrison, a 2007 Pro Bowler and the Steelers‘ Team MVP, was arrested on March 8 after a domestic altercation with his girlfriend, but the charges were dropped in April after he completed anger management counseling. He remains with the team and will once again be starting at linebacker.

Owner Dan Rooney addressed the perceived double-standard in a way that really didn’t satisfy the Women's Center and Shelter of Pittsburgh, which kept the story in the news even longer and seemingly threw gas on the raging debate. Needless to say, it was not a proud chapter in Steeler history. Awkwardly moving on…

12. Does CB Deshea Townsend still play?

Not only does he still play, but he's expected to start once again in 2008.

There aren’t many guys in the league who don’t start until their 7th season, but Townsend is one of them. After starting a total of 16 games between 1998-2003, Townsend has started 58 of a possible 64 games since 2004.

The Steelers drafted CB Bryant McFadden as a potential replacement in the second round of the 2005 draft, and every year, like the movie Groundhog Day, we hear about how McFadden might unseat Townsend as the starter. And every year, Townsend ends up with the job. His nickname should be Punxsutawney Townsend.

11. Will the Steelers miss guard Alan Faneca, who signed with the New York Jets?

It depends on which Alan Faneca you’re talking about.

There’s the Alan Faneca that made seven Pro Bowls, five All-Pro teams and served as captain for three seasons.

Then there’s the Alan Faneca who sulked his way through the 2007 preseason, told his teammates not to listen to line coach Larry Zierlein, asked out of his captain duties prior to the start of last season, and played on a line that allowed Ben Roethlisberger to be sacked 47 times in 2007.

So to answer the question, yes and no. It could be addition by subtraction in one sense, as he was obviously no longer happy here; but the fact that this year’s edition of the offensive line is far from a work of art makes some question the decision to let Faneca walk away.

10. Despite the offseason distraction of having his nude photos hitting the internet, what can we forecast for Santonio Holmes in 2008?

Despite his insistence on wearing Kordell’s old number 10, I’m hoping for 70-80 catches, 1200 or so yards, eight touchdowns, a punt return taken to the house, and, much to Deadspin’s dismay, no sequels to his photo portfolio.

By the way, what is it with the Steelers and internet pictures? Santonio, Jeff Reed, Roethlisberger, Hampton…

9. What are the current whereabouts of mascot Steely McBeam?

My answer: Following a tumultuous offseason that culminated in a DUI for one of the actors who portrays Steely, all signs indicate that he is alive and well and will be ready for the season.

The answer I predict the commenters to give: “Probably hanging out at The Pegasus Lounge in Pittsburgh.”

8. Why do Mike Tomlin press conferences sound like takes from a movie about football and not an actual NFL press conference?

If you’ve never witnessed this, pay close attention the next time you see our second-year coach address the media. He speaks in a series of short, abrupt sentences that sound more like Denzel Washington than Bill Cowher. I’m convinced that one day NFL Films will release their first full-length feature film and any scenes involving the coach will be old stock footage of Tomlin.

That being said, Tomlin’s had a pretty good start to his Steeler career. A 10-6 record and an AFC North Championship following a tumultuous 2006 Cowher-led campaign was good enough for most Steeler fans. Make no doubt about it, the postseason exit on Heinz Field turf to Jacksonville was very disappointing; but I don’t think many people regret the hiring of Tomlin one bit.

7. What‘s going on with the offensive line?

Wow…that’s a loaded question. Questions #19 and 11 certainly factor into this, but neither of them are going to be starters on this year’s team. The names you will be hearing are tackles Marvel Smith and Willie Colon, guards Kendall Simmons and Chris Kemoeatu, and center Justin Hartwig.

I’m not going to sugar-coat this: the team will only go as far as the line this season. I’d put their skill-position players up against anyone else’s; Roethlisberger, Parker, Mendenhall, Ward, Holmes, and Heath Miller are a formidable bunch with a lot of firepower. The defense may have its share of problems but should not hold the team back in any great way (as long as they can get off of the field on 3rd down). But without any protection for the aforementioned skill players, this team will not be playing far into 2009.

Despite incredible numbers by Roethlisberger and a solid season from Parker, the offensive line was a MAJOR disappointment in 2007 and that was with Alan Faneca, albeit a Faneca who was undermining his line coach. Sean Mahan was a disaster at center, ending the incredible run of Pro Bowlers the Steelers featured at the position since, oh, the 1960s (that's right: four centers in 42 years). Smith battled injuries and started just 12 games. The coaching staff’s tutelage was falling on deaf ears. By Steeler standards, it was below-par, and it’s a unit that must improve in 2008.

6. Orpheus Roye is coming back? Is that a good thing or a bad thing for the defensive line?

Yes, the 6’4”, 330-pounder who used to terrorize opponents as a wedge-buster has come back to Pittsburgh. It took only eight seasons in Cleveland for Roye to realize that he was never going to win anything as a Brown, and if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. Right, Marian Hossa? Sorry, wrong sport.

The defensive line has played to lukewarm reviews in the preseason. They certainly have performed well in the past both individually and as a group, but they face questions about age, endurance, and depth this year. Hampton arrived out of shape, Brett Keisel has looked mediocre, and Aaron Smith is coming off of torn biceps suffered last December.

The Roye signing is to give them some semblance of depth, especially since the flirtation with Booger McFarland never really materialized. If Roye’s homecoming doesn’t work out, he can always recruit Hampton for an intimidating competitive-eating tag team. And that’s something no one wants to see.

5. How awesome of a draft did the Steelers have in 2008?

Let’s put it this way: if you would’ve said during the 2007 college football campaign that the Steelers would land Oregon QB Dennis Dixon, Illinois RB Rashard Mendenhall, and Texas WR Limas Sweed, I doubt anyone would have believed you. But this is the same organization that turned undrafted free agents Willie Parker and James Harrison into household names and Pro Bowlers. Does anything they do surprise you at this point?

I’ll be back in a minute. I just spilled my glass of Steeler-flavored Kool-Aid on my laptop and need to get a paper towel or two.

4. How many games will safety Troy Polamalu play in this season?

I’m putting the over-under at nine: weeks 1, 2, and 3, he‘ll be fine as he enters the season in tip-top shape after avoiding an entire preseason; he’ll re-aggravate something in week four against Baltimore, then miss Jacksonville and rest during the bye week. He’ll return for Cincinnati but tweak something and miss the Giants, Redskins, and Colts. With a clean bill of health, he will play in three consecutive games but hold an ice bag on his hamstring too long and miss the Patriots and Cowboys games. He will come back to face the Ravens and Titans but will sit out week 17 against Cleveland as the Steelers rest up for the playoffs.

I kid, I kid. I love Polamalu. He’s an exceptional talent and a wonderful person. It just seems like he’s a little…high-maintenance. That’s all.

3. Why do Steeler fans long for a power back?

Probably for the same reason that Green Bay fans long for a gunslinging quarterback who just loves to play the game. Some things are just the way they are. But the fact is that any man suiting up at running back and approaching Jerome Bettis’ playing weight of 252 pounds will be expected by Steeler fans to fill the power back role in the foreseeable future.

With that in mind, imagine the exhilaration Steeler fans felt when the team drafted Rashard Mendenhall with their first pick. It’s like a younger version of The Bus!

Well, not quite. I don’t remember Bettis ever running back kicks, nor do I remember him catching many passes, both things that Mendenhall is more than capable of doing. In terms of size, Mendenhall goes 5’10”, 225 pounds, about 15 more than Parker. But he is not simply a back that will run you over; his package also includes speed and mobility.

He’s not Jerome Bettis. There’s only one Jerome Bettis. We need to finally embrace the backfield that we have and I think we’ll be more than happy with the results.

2. What's going on with the ownership of the Steelers?

I actually got to interview part-owner Art Rooney Jr. at great length this summer to help promote his book, but due to the timing of the interview (basically right in the midst of the story breaking) and the media swarm, the ownership topic was off the table. So I have to read and listen to the news stories just like you. But at last check, the five Rooney brothers will be meeting with Commissioner Goodell on August 26 at NFL HQ, and possibly meet with former Commissioner Paul Tagliabue before then.

The prospective owner is Stanley Druckenmiller, a 55-year-old hedge fund manager who‘s the 91st richest American, according to Forbes Magazine. That’s right, a hedge fund manager originally from Pittsburgh. TV executives are immediately re-thinking their “blue-collar Steelers, playing like the steelworkers that watch them” clichés as we speak.

Although he now lives in New York, he flies to Pittsburgh for all Steeler home games, tailgates in the parking lot and paints his face black-and-gold. He’s basically like every other person that follows the team, only he has $3.5 billion dollars. We shall wait and see what materializes, but we’re probably looking at a lengthy process to iron out the numerous details.

1. Why does most of America continue to rate Ben Roethlisberger any lower than the third-best quarterback in the NFL?

I had to save my soapbox question for last.

Rarely when any type of list comes out ranking quarterbacks does Roethlisberger land at third behind the obvious Brady/Manning coin-flip. Usually, it’s either Carson Palmer, Tony Romo, Drew Brees, and now even Derek Anderson who get perceived as being superior to Roethlisberger. In his preseason QB rankings last year, Peter King had him ranked 17th, behind quarterbacks such as Chad Pennington and Jon Kitna, then had the audacity to say that he greatly valued winning in his equation.

So why does this perception exist?

Statistically, Roethlisberger was 2nd in the NFL in passing last year with 32 touchdowns, 3154 yards, and a 104.1 rating. Only Brady was better, and he had one of (if not the best) season a QB has ever had. For his career, Roethlisberger is 5th all-time with a 92.5 rating, a number higher than Montana, Marino, Favre, Elway, Unitas, and yes, Bradshaw.

From a wins-losses standpoint, the only loss he suffered in his rookie season was in the AFC Championship, and he won the Super Bowl in year two. 2006 was a total loss with the motorcycle wreck and appendectomy, and his play suffered as expected. Frankly, he was lucky to be alive, let alone play quarterback at a high level. But healthy again in '07, he was dominant despite a line that let him get sacked 47 times.

He's not as sexy of a story as Jessica & Romo (like Palmer, another QB who's never gotten past round one), he's not the new guy on the block like Anderson, and he wasn't as nationally covered in college like Palmer. But he is not a game manager. He has the capability to single-handedly will a team to victory, as he’s done numerous times in his short career. His 2006 AFC playoff performance on the road to the Super Bowl was the stuff of legends, leading the team to road wins at Cincinnati, Indianapolis, and Denver. And he’s a fearless player, regularly moving out of the pocket to extend plays and run when necessary, as his 204 yards in that category last year would indicate.

Is he as bothered as Steeler fans by the perceptions that he’s incapable in some aspects as a quarterback? I highly doubt it. He’s not the one sitting in front of the TV listening to this and/or sitting in front of a computer reading this, we are. Does it fuel him? Again, I doubt it. When a defense is bearing down on you and you need to make a play, I don’t think words that Peter King wrote last July will be the first thing to pop into your mind.

As far as I’m concerned, people should continue to doubt Roethlisberger. It’s happened every year he’s been in the league, and I think he’s had a pretty awesome career so far. Plus, it gives me something to talk about on a regular basis. Trade Roethlisberger for any QB in the league? No thanks.

Epilogue

After 3,400+ words and a serious amount of time taken away from my day job, it’s back to watching the Steelers through my black-and-gold goggles. The always-too-long Steeler Preview, probably the only one with an epilogue, has come to an end. Fellow Steeler fans, I leave you with these words. Recite them to your friends ad nauseam throughout the season:

Here we go, Steelers, here we go.