THOUGHTS ON THE STEELER WAY (YOUR HELP NEEDED)

A few readers and commented on Big Ben's Monday night wrestling appearance, making the points that A. Tom Brady and Peyton Manning probably wouldn't do it (agreed), and B. It was in poor taste to participate in a skit involving scantily-clad "Divas" given the suit he is fighting right now (again, agreed).

While I consistently voice my love of all things Roethlisbergian on the field, I'm going to be a little bit critical of Big Ben away from the field. As I said this morning, at times I feel like he "isn't totally grown up". As a player, his peers are clearly Manning and Brady. Away from the game, he's more on the level of Tony Romo; he's not going to do anything criminal, but some of his decisions are not well thought-out, given his level of celebrity.

Of course, what he does with his free time is his business and not ours. But sometimes a person's actions can create their own problems. Like I've said three times now, that performance last night would've been chastised if it happened with the backdrop of a 1-3 start.

But back to the wrestling topic, Mark Madden was discussing it on his Tuesday show and was a bit critical of this particular pose:

He pointed out that when you combine an image like the one above with James Farrior's postgame scrap and the other various arrests the Steelers have dealt with over the past season, that the franchise is getting further and further away from its classy reputation.

I agree...to an extent. I was not around to soak up the awesomeness of the '70s Steelers, but I know they had Ernie Holmes shooting at a police helicopter, rampant steroid use, and a fair share of incidents on the field that surely compared to Farrior's. To say they were all choir boys away from the game would probably be inaccurate.

My suggestion is to put our heads together on a group project to see if this organizational portrayal is fact or myth. I'm proposing we try and make a master list of every Steeler-related arrest since 1970. Obviously, the more recent arrests will be easier to track, because a list of all NFL arrests since 2000 has already been compiled. Unfortunately, various Steelers have been arrested 13 times between 2000-09, including "the Santonio Holmes Hat Trick". So we're not off to a good start.

The '90s should not be too difficult, but I'm especially going to need you elder statesmen among us to help with the "vintage" varieties. Time to tap that Steeler memory bank.

We'll go with the player, the arrest, and the outcome of the case. In a day or so, I'll compile them in chronological order. This exercise is not meant to be anti-Steeler in any way. If the franchise is as "classy" as many of us take them to be (myself included), this will be a short list and merely confirm what most people already think.

Three ways to contribute:

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or leave it in the comment section

All contributions will be credited

JAMES FARRIOR DOES NOT LIKE VINCENT JACKSON

This one totally flew under my radar in the last 24 hours: didn't see it, didn't hear about, didn't read about it. But it is quite the nugget. From the Trib:

As the final gun went off, Steelers linebacker James Farrior made a beeline for San Diego star receiver Vincent Jackson, who was walking off the field in the direction of the locker room.

When Jackson finally heard Farrior directing comments in his direction, he turned around and met the Steelers' linebacker near midfield.

The two continued to jaw before Farrior finally shoved his hand in Jackson's face-mask.

The two then had to be restrained by teammates and some members of each coaching staff.

And here's the best line:

When asked if something occurred during the game that sparked the confrontation, Farrior replied: "No, we just don't like each other."

Farrior is a known master of the smack arts, so it's not surprising to hear that he had an opinion he wanted to share with V-Jack. As far as the hand in the facemask, that's surprising from #51. But I like it. It fits with this week's Steeler theme. We've got guys bonding in a wrestling ring in Wilkes-Barre, we've got guys jawing and mixing it up after the game...in short, the Steelers have a beating pulse. I wish we were playing the Ravens on Sunday.

Steelers' Farrior, Chargers' Jackson mix it up [Trib]

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NEWS AND NOTES

--Soak in this sentence for a minute:

"Prized prospect Andrew McCutchen made a splashy major-league debut with a 3-for-5 showing that included three runs, an RBI and a stolen base as a leadoff batter."

Pirates 11, Mets 6. Nate McWho?

--After tweaking his knee yesterday, Large Ben returned to practice today. You can get down from the ledge. [Trib]

--A Pens fan got an octopus in the mail from a Wings fan, then promptly sent it back after giving it an official Primanti's treatment. Because as you know, Primanti's sandwiches are the only thing we eat in Pittsburgh. [WPXI]

--Hopefully Dan Byslma will eat a lucky burrito from Qdoba today [96.1 Kiss Freak Show]

--Here's your chance to buy a true piece of baseball history: it's an auction for the ball thrown by Baba Booey at his infamous first-pitch disaster against the Pirates. And you get his worn jersey too! [Charity Buzz]

--Bob Smizik calls the McLouth trade a "bold gamble worth taking". This follows yesterday's column, "Pirates give up on present by trading McLouth". I'm confused. [Bob Smizik Blog]

--ESPN 1250's next Lunch with a Legend has been announced: you can dine in the presence of James Farrior and Deshea Townsend at Morton's on June 10. [ESPN 1250]

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UPDATED: STEELER MINICAMP LOOKS SERIOUS

It's been a slow news morning, which means the best I can do for this afternoon is a picture from Steeler minicamp of Brett Keisel Ben Roethlisberger in what looks to be a Mexican wrestling mask. Because the alternative storylines from the national outlets are:

A. The Kentucky Derby and that jockey with the wicked Cajun accent
B. That horrible Hawks-Heat series finally coming to an end
C. Selena Roberts' A-Rod book, which every ESPN radio host seems to hate
D. Brett Favre playing for the Vikings in 2009

No, no, no, and....no.

And locally, everyone seems to be complaining about the Penguins' top-heavy scoring and impotent power play, so that's obviously been done to death.

So we'll go with a brief Steeler recap, since I haven't mentioned the Champs in a few days...

--James Farrior is sad to see Larry Foote go. Aren't we all. [PG]

--The Lions might not be interested in trading for Mr. Foote. [MLive.com]

--A.Q. Shipley is planning on making a formal request for Mike Webster's #52. He might have a shot, considering he played alongside Webster's son Garrett at Moon HS. [Daily Collegian Online]

--Shipley and Pitt's Mark Estermeyer are off to good starts. Expect a lot of support to be thrown to this local duo throughout camp. [Beaver County Times]

--Imagine this: the Cardinals re-acquired a former Steeler, lineman Oliver Ross. [PFT]

--Hines Ward wants to retire as a Steeler. So does Limas Sweed. OK, I made that one up. Or did I? [PG]

--But seriously, Sweed and Rashard Mendenhall both want to pick it up in year two. [Trib]

--And so does LB Bruce Davis, who was invisible last year. [Trib]

UPDATE:

From the email - the photo ID is confirmed:

Just an FYI, that is actually Big Ben Roethlisberger wearing Keisel’s jersey and the Mexican wrestling mask in the photo on your website. On the last day of minicamp many of the players switched jerseys in addition to adorning their hat of choice… Below is a picture of Keisel wearing Ben’s # 7 and another picture of Roethlisberger sporting # 99.

Send your news, tips, and links to Mondesishouse@gmail.com.

J PEEZY AND JAMES FARRIOR LIKE TO SURF

To be honest with you, I had no idea that Joey Porter and James Farrior were so into surfing. But these pictures, from reader Aab in Hawaii (which, when you think about it, would be a good source for shots like these), would seem to confirm their interest. Click on them for a larger view of their respective guns. And remember when viewing these photos that no one but the NFL wants to move the Pro Bowl from Hawaii.

Send your news, tips, and links to Mondesishouse@gmail.com.

PRO BOWL ROSTER SHORT ON STEELERS

The NFL announced this year's list of free Hawaiian vacation recipients, and there are only three Steelers among them: LB James Harrison and S Troy Polamalu are starters, joined by reserve LB James Farrior.

Several Steeler teammates will probably be asked when their NFL brethren beg out of the game in vintage Tom Brady fashion, so that number will likely increase. There weren't many surprises omissions other than DE Aaron Smith, who is clearly not flashy enough to be noticed but is certainly deserving. A case could be made for LB Lamarr Woodley, but linebacker is a tough nut to crack, and he will likely have many more chances.

It's no shock that the offense was totally ignored. Ben Roethlisberger has put up victories (which is all that really matters), but in a fantasy-league culture, that's not enough for something like this. No running back nor receiver did enough, and I won't bother to entertain the notion that any of their linemen should be there.

So we're left with three, which says a lot about the job Mike Tomlin has done in 2008. Injuries, schedules, mini-controversies, ownership issues, free agent defections...these have not taken the Steelers' eyes off the prize, and that starts at the top.

As for the rest of the rosters, one thing that jumps out is the presence of four former Steelers: G Alan Faneca, LB Joey Porter, S Chris Hope, and special-teamer Sean Morey. We'll also be seeing two former Pitt Panthers, WR Larry Fitzgerald and DB Darrelle Revis. That is, if any of us actually watch the Pro Bowl.

2009 NFL Pro Bowl Rosters [NFL.com]

Send your news, tips, and links to Mondesishouse@gmail.com.

STEELER LINKS

Lots of news in the Steeler world this morning...

--As you've probably heard, the Rooneys rejected Stanley Druckenmiller's bid to buy the team yesterday. His offer was believed to be in the neighborhood of $550 million, which is a tad more than the $2,500 that Art Rooney originally paid for the team. The Rooneys will go back to the drawing board, and Druckenmiller will go back to being a billionaire. [Wall Street Journal, PG]

--Continuing the young QB debate: ESPN AFC North blogger James Walker gives colleague Matt Mosley a verbal beatdown for suggesting Tony Romo is superior to Ben Roethlisberger. It's as thorough an argument on the topic as you will ever see. [ESPN.com]

--Nice article from the NY Times, entitled, "For Willie Parker, Steeler Stardom Comes in a Flash." [NY Times]

--Travis Kirschke will slide into Brett Keisel's starter spot, with Orpheus Roye and Nick Eason being rotated in on Sunday. Do three backups equal one Keisel? [PG]

--Am I the only one that didn't realize the Steelers haven't won in Philly in 43 years? [WPXI]

--Ever wonder what a middle finger's worth? Thanks to James Farrior, we have an answer: $7,500. [The Pittsburgh Channel]

--Troy Polamalu is your week two AFC Defensive Player of the Week. Maybe he should miss training camp every year. [KDKA]

*Coming a little later: a Steelers-Eagles preview from Philly blogger Matt P. of The700level.com in a few hours, followed later on today by my preview of the game on Dave Dameshek's ESPN.com podcast.

JOSE BAUTISTA A BLUE JAY

Earlier this afternoon, the Pirates consummated a trade with the Toronto Blue Jays that sent 3B Jose Bautista north of the border for the always-intriguing Minor Leaguer To Be Named Later.

Rather than bore you with statistics, I'll limit my coverage to an email that our very own A.J. sent me a few hours after the deal that pretty much summarizes what it's like to be a baseball fan in Pittsburgh in August:

"So... let me explain the situation. I just got home from work a while ago and am relaxing on the couch as I type this on my laptop. I just watched the sports segment with Fedko on the Channel 11 News.

Lead off story... Steelers/Farrior contract, followed by Tomlin talking about Saturday, cutaway to Rich Walsh at Steelers HQ talking about the defense and Polamalu. Then a mention on Gene Upshaw passing with subsequent interview with Charlie Batch (Steelers NFLPA rep). Next... a season preview of Baldwin High School's football team complete with shots of practice and an interview with one of the greatest yinzer coaches in the WPIAL (he actually tagged a sentence with the term "and stuff n'at"... that's like a double n'at... awesome)

Then...as the sports segment is wrapping up... almost as an afterthought... Fedko throws in (almost speed reading to end the segment before they go to commercial).. and the Pirates trade Jose Bautista to Toronto for a player to be named later.

Gotta love Pittsburgh baseball come August... a somewhat significant personnel move is almost forgotten, tucked away in a newscast behind a mention of a dead Oakland Raider and pre season high school football. Awesome.

I truly forget what it feels like to even give the slightest of s**ts about baseball at this time of year. I bet it must be nice... but I can't recall."

Well said, A.J. But did you hear we signed Pedro Alvarez?

NEWS AND NOTES

*Lots of new local blogs in the sidebar live feed this week. Be sure to check them out*

--ESPN's Steve Braband, profiled in depth on this very site recently, has a new blog: Steve is Alive.

--Cardinals 11, Pirates 2. Jason Davis yielded nine hits and eight runs in 3 2/3. Let's move on...

--33-year-old LB James Farrior just got re-signed with the Steelers through 2012 in a deal worth more than $18 million with a $5 million signing bonus to boot. [PG]

--How do you shut up Peter King? Let him shovel some popcorn into his mouth. [Awful Announcing]

--The "Boom Goes the Dynamite" guy landed a real sportcasting job. [Deadspin]

--NFLPA head honcho and former Raider Gene Upshaw passed away from pancreatic cancer at age 63. [PG]

--The clock is ticking on Marvel Smith's Steeler career. Great, another lame duck offensive lineman! [Trib]

--Slamball will be coming back to CBS and Versus. I don't know about you, but I'll sleep better tonight. [MSN]

--Here's 5 Vending Machine Items Of The Future. This one might do well outside of Heinz Field. [Wall Street Fighter]

Got news? Email it to mondesishouse@gmail.com - you could win a prize!

Quick Morning Roundup

First off, thanks to Dave Dameshek for the double segment on his show last night. It was great fun, as we covered a variety of topics pertinent to Pittsburgh sports. You can catch Dave weeknights from 7-10 on 93.7, "The Man Station".

--Paul Maholm takes his 6.19 ERA to the mound tonight against Houston, when he faces off against Woody Williams and his 6.55 ERA. Not exactly Clemens against Pedro, but it's as good a pitching matchup as you'll find in Pittsburgh on a Tuesday in April. Unless you go watch a WPIAL game.

--Major ups to James Farrior, for this line:

Linebacker James Farrior claimed he wasn't thinking about Porter at all, and, he said, "Change is not always bad."

Especially after an 8-8 season that included a loss to Oakland, perhaps the worst NFL team in 10 years. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Mr. Farrior. I hope your attitude is contagious.

--Sidney Crosby, the most perfect human being on Earth (if he is human). From the PG:

Crosby's game-worn jersey from the first period of the All-Star Game by far topped the list of those sold during an online auction held by the NHL and the NHL Players Association to benefit Hockey Fights Cancer. Crosby's sold for $47,520, more than eight times the next highest price, $5,681 for the jersey worn by Brendan Shanahan of the New York Rangers.

I think the most amazing part about this story was not the final sale price, but the fact that a valuable Sid jersey reached sale before Troy Crosby could have it swiped from his luggage.

--A-Rod hit home runs #13 and 14 last night in a loss to Tampa, tying Albert Pujols' April record with another week to go. His newfound confidence is the biggest story of 2007. Before this season, he was like Sidney Crosby without self-esteem.

--The Kevin Colbert Report is talking trade regarding the upcoming draft. Wait, the draft is coming up? You'd think there would be some coverage!

--Sounds like Joe Francis of Girls Gone Wild fame is having a hard time with prison life

--Here's 11 classic guy movies, why they're great, and why they secretly suck. How dare they say any part of Billy Madison sucked.

When 19 Models Just Won't Do

Many readers have sent in this note from the Las Vegas Review Journal:

"At OPM (Forum Shops at Caesars) on Saturday night for Jerome Bettis' birthday party: Bettis, being presented with a giant yellow-and-black cake (Steelers colors) by 20 beautiful models. Celebrating with their ex-teammate, Clark Haggans, Hines Ward, Vernon Hayes, Willie Parker and James Farrior."

My only question...was it a Bettis Helmet Cake from Giant Eagle?

Your 2007 Pittsburgh Steelers Roster

Since the ship has sailed on the 2006 season, it's time to take an early look at the 2007 Steelers roster. I personally blame all of the problems on filming that music video with the Povertyneck Hillbillies. That supercedes all Cowher distractions, motorcycle crashes, appendectomies, torn ACLs, concussions, or nagging hamstring injuries as the downfall of the 2006 campaign. But enough about the Curse of the Hillbillies. On to your 2007 Steelers roster:

QB: Large Ben should be around for a while, and I am guessing Chaz Batch will be there to carry the clipboard and occasionally step in when Bart Scott tries to decapitate old #7 in future Ravens games. Brian St. Pierre will continue to be cut and re-signed well into the next decade. Long story short, don't plan on any new QBs other than the usual late-rounder and/or training camp sacrificial lamb that fans eventually fall in love with (hellooo, Mike Quinn and Pete Gonzalez).

RB: Willie Parker is on pace for a 1,300-yard, 13 TD season, yet the annual rumors persist about the Steelers acquiring T.J. Duckett as "Bettis II". You could bring back Bettis circa 1997 and he wouldn't make much of a difference behind this line. Just because he's big, burly, and a perceived malcontent does not mean he's another Jerome Bettis. Duckett had a career high of 779 yards in 2003, and his career has been in free-fall ever since then. Since he was dealt to Washington this season, and we can safely say that experiment has blown up in the lab, he's now failed with three coaches (Reeves, Mora, Gibbs). I just fail to see the infatuation with this guy. It seems like John Clayton has rumored Duckett as a possible Steeler since the moment he was drafted by Atlanta. I can understand drafting a young power-back as a change of pace back, but I think the ship has sailed on Duckett.

Parker, on the other hand, is one of the very few Steelers who is having a better 2006 than 2005. I think if the Steelers could figure out a way to truly utilize his talents, he could be a valuable asset for many years to come.

Najeh is an unrestricted free agent, so I'd put his odds on return at 50/50. Verron Haynes should be back is he has recovered from his knee injury as the third-down back, and John Kuhn will toe the line of practice squad/emergency RB.

Available UFAs include Ahman Green, Correll Buckhalter, Ron Dayne, Dominic Rhodes, and Musa Smith. But here's an even better choice as an RFA than a re-tread like Duckett: Michael Turner of San Diego. Speed and power. And he's never going to displace Tomlinson.

If the draft is the route you prefer, the top prospects are Adrian Peterson, Marshawn Lynch, and Kenny Irons.

FB: Dan Kreider, the pride of New Hampshire, should be back for his 8th campaign.

WR: You can pencil in Hines and Santonio and probably Willie Reid, if only because of the high pick invested in him. After that, anyone is fair game. Wilson and Washington are just not exceptional wideouts. And I was one of those pleading to give Washington a chance in the preseason, saying "if he can play, his pedigree (or lack thereof) should not matter". He has been simply too inconsistent. I guess you can technically count Sean Morey as a WR, but I am hoping he's not around in '07. He certainly hasn't helped the special teams one iota.

The free agent market has very little to offer in terms of potential help. The top UFAs are St. Louis' Kevin Curtis, Tennessee's Drew Bennett, and Houston's Eric Moulds. The top RFAs are Jacksonville's Ernest Wilford, New Orleans' Terrence Copper, and Dallas' Patrick Crayon. Slim pickins indeed.

The draft offers such intriguing prospects as Ted Ginn, Calvin Johnson, Dwayne Jarrett, and Jeff Samardzija. I wouldn't argue with seeing any of the aforementioned in black and gold.

TE: Whether they throw to him or not, Heath Miller is the present and the future. Jerame "It's Not a" Tuman will more than likely be back for his 800th season as a backup. Probably little change at this position.

OT: Max Starks and Marvel Smith have not had good years. Starks is an RFA, so there is at least the potential that he may not be back. The depth is in Willie Colon and Trai Essex, and I don't think either one is pushing for a starting job yet.

If there is a change made, there's always 6'6', 366 pound Leonard Davis of the Cardinals on the free agent market, or in the draft, 6'8", 315 pound Joe Thomas of Wisconsin. But if the Steelers are picking high enough to take Thomas, that means their problems are deeper than we could have ever imagined.

OG: Kendall Simmons' hold on the right guard spot has been tenuous at best. He could be replaced by Chris Kemoeatu any week now. Alan Faneca has endured a very trying season, but he will be back next year. Other than that, the cupboard is pretty bare. This will probably be their #1 or 2 pick in the draft. There's 6'4", 329 pound Justin Blalock of Texas, but not many other high-profile guards in this year's draft. If they want to make things interesting, they could sign Eric Steinbach, the Bengal UFA who was famous for "boating under the influence".

Center: I would guess this is the last go for Jeff Hartings, whether he wants it to be or not. Chukky Okobi could take over, or they could slide Simmons in and let Kemoeatu take his guard spot. Marvin Phillip is there as the backup in any scenario. Should be status quo, minus Hartings, in '07.

DE: Brett Keisel and Aaron Smith are both locked up long-term. Travis Kirschke will be there for depth. Rodney Bailey is a UFA, so he may not return. This could be a possibility for a mid-to-late round draft pick.

NT: Casey Hampton is one of the best in the biz. Chris Hoke is one of the best backups in the biz. No changes should be necessary.

LB: Here is where it gets reeeeal interesting. My gut tells me Joey Porter's days are numbered. There was a reason that James Harrison was signed for an extension last year. He will take Porter's slot in 2007. Farrior, Foote, and Haggans should all be back to round out the group. Chad Brown is a UFA and will probably be finished.

Farrior has probably seen his better days, and you could argue the same for Haggans. I don't know if Rien Wallace would be ready to step in for Farrior, perhaps in 2008, so they may be looking for an ILB high in the draft. As far as OLBs, Penn State's Paul Posluszny could be a possibility, depending on where the Steelers pick. I think if they don't go O-Line, it will be a LB in round one.

CB: Wow. We all thought the signing of Ike Taylor was the answer to our D-Back questions for the next five years. How quickly things change. Regardless, I would imagine Ike to enter camp as the starting CB opposite Bryant McFadden. I don't see Deshea Townsend as a starter next year. At least I hope I don't. This is a position crying out for depth and playmakers.

The top draft prospects are Leon Hall of Michigan, Darrelle Revis of Pitt, and Marcus McCauley of Fresno State. I can't speak for the other two, but I can say Revis is a prototypical shut-down corner. And as you know, he can also return a punt on occasion.

S: The big question facing the Steelers next is the long-term contract status of one Troy Polamalu. Persistent rumors have our favorite safety going to the west coast, but I'm hoping they find a way to get the job done. I think Ryan Clark and Anthony Smith are pretty safe bets to pencil in, but beyond that, there's not much else left at safety. Tyrone Carter and Mike Logan are both UFAs, so there is a chance one or both will not be back. They may go for a safety in a mid-to-late round, but don't expect any top picks invested in this spot.

P: Please, I beg of you, rid us of Chris Gardocki. That's all I ask.

K: Skippy Reed has not had a good year by anyone's account, but I don't anticipate a change here.

Coach: I think Kenny Wiz gets the job and Bill Cowher retires to watch girls' basketball for a year or two. By then, Joe Gibbs and/or Bill Parcells should be out of their respective situations and they will be at the top of the list to sign Mr. Bill.

Cowher will probably command $8-10 million a year upon his return, and if that's what Mike Holmgren gets, I don't know how Cowher could only be making $4 million. If you were making half of what you thought you were worth, I doubt you'd be enthused about your job either. Money gets brushed to the side when discussing Cowher's status, but trust me, money always talks. If the Rooneys pony up with the bucks I referenced above, I can guarantee Cowher would sign an extension tomorrow. And Kaye and the kiddos would have to made do on their own for a while longer.

Steelers Lose; Holmes Continues Curse of #10 Jersey

The Pittsburgh Steelers lost again on Sunday, 31-20, to the Denver Broncos. The loss drops the Steelers to 2-6, or just 12 consecutive wins away from a second straight Super Bowl title. This was a game in which the Steelers were actually favored to win by the Vegas bookies. Yes, the 2-5 team that just lost to the Raiders was favored over the 5-2 team that was edged by the Colts...but since this is the NFL, no one batted an eyelash. Especially Bill Cowher Statue, the inanimate replica of our former coach that was wheeled in before the kickoff of the 2006 campaign. The likeness is uncanny: Cowher Statue looks exactly like our former coach, but without all the emotion that Bill was famous for. Cowher Statue gets a rest on Tuesday, when the real Bill Cowher steps in and berates reporters at the press conference. But today the Cowher doppelganger was in full effect.

One of these days, I'll actually get an invitation to the Tuesday Cowher Press Conference. I can only assume that each invitation has been lost in the mail for eight consecutive weeks. But the popular "Questions for Coach Cowher" segment will persist on.

This week's questions for Bill Cowher...or Cowher Statue...

"When the Steelers have the ball, does the opposition rub it with vegetable oil, grease, or melted butter?"

"Any regrets passing on Chad Jackson because of Santonio Holmes' returning abilities?"

"Is it true that Roethlisberger needs Tommy John surgery after having him throw 54 passes?"

"Did Deshea Townsend's play look as bad in person as it did on TV?"

"Nice job stopping Mike Bell today. But doesn't it hurt to know that Javon Walker produced enough offense for three men?"

"Are you aware that between Javon Walker's 206 and Najeh Davenport's 74, guys Green Bay had no use for gained 280 yards of offense today?"

"How bad is the sting knowing that playing your team was the cure for a slumping Jake Plummer?"

"On that goal-line fumble, was Hines trying to re-create John Elway's famous Super Bowl helicopter touchdown?"

"If James Farrior were your dog, would you kick him harder than Farrior kicked that Bronco?"

"Did Cedrick Wilson's 2 returns for 4 yards lock up the punt return duties for next week?"

"If Santonio's going to return kicks any more this season, could we at least get the Heinz Field audio staff to cue circus music to synchronize with the runback?"

"Is Joey Porter still on the team? I didn't see any completely inappropriate dancing today, so I didn't notice."

"Any thoughts on Sudeep Paul and Anand Shankar Durvasula, the two CMU kids caught trying to break into the House That Ben Built?"

"Five catches by Heath Miller...was that a new Steeler single-game record?"

"Can we talk to the equipment manager about not handing out #10 anymore? I think it's a cursed jersey."

"Good thing you didn't have to watch this game on TV, Coach. Every commercial break, they kept playing this patronizing commercial for Chevrolet with John Cougar Mellencamp singing This is our country..."

"Cincinnati blamed their playoff loss on Carson Palmer's injury. Indianapolis said they beat themselves. Seattle blamed the refs. Can this loss finally give Steeler Haters a reason to say the Denver playoff game was a fluke, and fill in the only missing link in their 2005 Steelers Suck Theory?"

"Have you made your tee times for January yet?"