It's the Roger Goodell Penalty-Generating Flowchart!

It looks like Sportspickle.com got their hands on Roger Goodell's official flowchart for generating penalties and fines, because this pretty much sums up the process as most see it. 

Here's a question: what's the fine if James Harrison takes his helmet off and punches Cortland Finnegan?

Image courtesy the funtastic, Steeler-loving Sports Pickle website:

Mondesi's House: The Director's Cut (more links, commentary, etc): twitter.com/mondesishouse
Email: mondesishouse@gmail.com

Today's Headlines

The PITTSBURGH PIRATES took two of three from Houston over the weekend, wrapping things up with a 9-0 win on Sunday that featured their first home run with a man on base since approximately 1993. OK, it was actually only 1,097 at-bats, the longest such streak since the 1984 Astros, but you get the point. They have been few and far between.

On Sunday, Paul Maholm limited the Astros to three hits in throwing a complete-game shutout, and the Pirate hitters claimed revenge on Roy Oswalt, who one-hit them in his last start on July 8 in Houston.

In addition to Garrett Jones' two-run blast, the Pirates got four hits from Ronny Cedeno and three each from Jose Tabata and Ryan Doumit. Every Pirates position player had at least one hit on the day. After Saturday night's 12-6 win in front of a full house of fireworks-loving fans, the Pirates are finally starting to show a few signs of competence, regardless of the fact that it came against a less-than-stellar Astros team.

Andrew McCutchen left the game in the eighth inning after making a diving catch, and the diagnosis was was a mildly sprained AC joint in the upper part of the right shoulder. X-rays did not detect a fracture, and he has not yet been ruled out of the lineup for Monday.

Milwaukee (42-51) comes to town next, with Chris Capuano (4.35, 0-1) and Jeff Karstens (4.87, 2-4) taking the hill Monday night at 7:05.

TERRY BRADSHAW has a new gig. He's now a part owner of EverGreen Recreational Vehicles in Middlebury, which is owned by Bradshaw golfing buddy Kelly Rose. Bradshaw said he would become the company's face by traveling to trade shows and publicizing its RVs. [WTAE]


JOE PATERNO's absence is again being blamed for recruiting problems with Penn State's Class of 2011, which currently numbers just three - the smallest in the Big Twelveleven. At this time, Scout.com has Penn State at No. 64 in its 2011 recruiting rankings, 10th among the 11 Big Ten schools. [PG]

LARRY FITZGERALD was the subject of artwork done on a fan's prosthetic leg, which was then signed by Fitzgerald. I must say, Steeler Nation has been outdone (for once). [Deadspin]

JOE STARKEY tackles a topic near and dear to my heart: the classic American game of Wiffle Ball. [Trib]

ROGER GOODELL will be visiting Steeler training camp on August 5. [WPXI]

BREON ALLEN is Pitt's first RB recruit for the Class of 2011. The 5'6", 170-pounder was recruited to Pitt by new LB coach Bernard Clark. [KDKA Sports Insider]

DARNELL STAPLETON, a starting lineman for the Steelers in Super Bowl 43, signed with the UFL's Florida Tuskers. Stapleton missed the entire 2009 season with injuries and was released by the Steelers. [UFL]

HAYDEN PENN of the Pirates will soon be sold to Japan's Chiba Lotte Marines, a team with an apparent opening for a journeyman pitcher. Penn allowed eight runs on eight hits and three walks in a memorable 2 1/3 innings for the Pirates this season. [MLB.com]

ROETHLISBERGER CLEARED TO REJOIN STEELERS

Beginning next week, Ben Roethlisberger can return to team activities with the Steelers, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell said on Thursday. Roethlisberger will be permitted to play in preseason games and is still facing a suspension for 4-6 games at the start of the 2010 season, with the length to be reviewed in the future by Goodell. He will not be permitted to practice or work out with the team during the regular-season suspension.

The league issued a brief statement on Goodell's latest decision:

"Based on the reports and recommendations of our medical experts, commissioner Goodell advised the Steelers and Ben Roethlisberger [Thursday] that he is cleared to return to team activities beginning next week. The commissioner will continue to monitor Roethlisberger's progress as he begins the next phase of his recommended plan and will meet with Roethlisberger again at the appropriate time. There has been no decision on any modification to the length of Roethlisberger's suspension. In his April 21 disciplinary decision, commissioner Goodell announced that Roethlisberger is suspended without pay for the first six games of the regular season. The commissioner said he would review Roethlisberger's progress prior to the start of the regular season and consider whether to reduce the suspension to four games. Failure to cooperate and follow his plan could result in a longer suspension."

The reinstatement to his team is the latest in the overall rehabilitation of Roethlisberger and his image, which got some good PR courtesy of ex-girlfriend Natalie Gulbis earlier in the week after the pair golfed at Oakmont:

"He's a great guy. I've known him for four years. He has always been fantastic to me, and we've been friends since before he even started playing for the Steelers," Gulbis told WPXI's Rich Walsh. "I'll continue to cheer for him and the Steelers."

People are vouching for him again, the stories from his past are slowly dying down, plenty of other scandals have knocked him from the headlines, the legal front has been quiet, and we're a few months closer to actual football. We're definitely at a new point in the Roethlisberger scandal lifeline, but he still faces a tremendously long road to travel in restoring his name and image, if they can ever be restored.

Steelers' Roethlisberger can rejoin workouts next week [PG]

Golfer Natalie Gulbis Talks Ex-Boyfriend Roethlisberger Before Oakmont Practice [WPXI]

Email your feedback, questions, and tips Mondesishouse@gmail.com 

TODAY'S HEADLINES

Doumit's heroics do it again, JoePa talks Pitt-Penn State, Goodell reviews Ben, Twin Towers at Kiski, a Penguin UFA update and much more on tap today:

ROETHLISBERGER UPDATE

--Ben's appearance on The Shaq Show will go off as planned on Friday night at Ambridge's Moe Rubenstein Stadium. [PG]

--A private eye who helped Jerome Bettis clear his name in 2002 weighs in on the Roethlisberger case [WPXI]

--And here's the original story from '02 outlining the plot to extort Bettis [Trib]

--Ben's accuser is still employed by Harrah's [PFT]

--How will the charges affect Ben and the Steelers? [Times Online]

--More on ESPN completely ignoring the story [Awful Announcing]

--Mike Florio's take on ESPN's civil lawsuit policy [PFT]

--Roger Goodell is looking into the allegations [SI]

--As Deadspin points out, ESPN did break their silence...sort of. [Deadspin]


Email: Mondesishouse@gmail.com Twitter: twitter.com/mondesishouse Facebook: Facebook Group

THE GOODELL-POLAMALU WAR OF WORDS CONTINUES

I'm sure you've now heard of Troy Polamalu's "Pansy Game" comments regarding the state of the NFL, easily the greatest description of a pro sports league since Mario's all-time classic "Garage League" moniker for the NHL.

Yesterday on Baltimore's WBAL, Commish Roger Goodell fired back at Polamalu's comments:

"I have a great deal of respect for him as a player, and obviously he has a right to his own views," Goodell said Thursday during an interview on WBAL-AM. "But to say that this is about money and not the health of our players, I think is extremely disappointing when we spend as much time as we do with active players, reviewing our rules, reviewing techniques and making sure we make the game is as safe as possible."

As far as outspoken people go, I'd put Polamalu in the class of Jason Bay and your average street mime, so it's obvious that he's passionate about this topic. Personally, I'd agree with #43. The Steelers have been fined numerous times over the last month, including some plays that weren't even penalties in the game. To say Goodell has gone a bit far in his role as discipliniarian would be a massive understatement. Could you imagine the fines levied if Goodell ran the NFL during the 1970s? Jack Tatum would be penniless.

UPDATE:

Reader Chris Flecker of Brooklyn sent in this exquisite video clip, which NFL.com described as follows: "Listen to the hardest hits and biggest mouths in the Steelers-Bengals rivalry."

Hard hits, from the league that's concerned about the health of their players. No, there's no double-standard here at all.

NEWS AND NOTES

--That's five losses in a row for the new-look Pirates, who dropped a 12-3 decision to the Cubs last night. Starter Jeff Karstens did not throw a perfect game.

--The Rooney brothers sit down with Roger Goodell today. Oh, to be a fly on the wall... [Trib]

--Ron Cook says to be careful what you wish for at Penn State. [PG]

--Obligatory link to the story about the 9-year-old kid that's "too good for his little league", the topic du jour for both Mike & Mike and Dan Patrick this morning. [Yahoo!]

--Pitt vs. Auburn in the Fiesta Bowl? That's the projection from ESPN's Bruce Feldman. I can live with that. [ESPN.com]

--Three ESPN analysts picked Pitt to win the Big East this year. [ESPN.com]

--10 days later, where is Pedro Alvarez? [PBC Blog]

--Kimbo Slice will meet Ken Shamrock on October 4, to be broadcast on CBS. Hopefully we won't see any exploding ears this time around. [The Big Lead]

--Bob Smizik talks to PSAMP. This should be good. [PSAMP]

--Is Daunte Culpepper being blackballed? [PFT]

--Mark Schlereth's armpits have never been this happy. [Joe Sports Fan]

--A sarcastic look at 10 Things To Look Forward To This College Football Season. [Gump for Heisman]

--Former Portland Trail Blazer Kevin Duckworth is dead at 44. [TrueHoop]

--Jenna Jameson and Tito Ortiz are expecting. [SPORTSbyBROOKS]

Got news? Email it to mondesishouse@gmail.com - you could win a prize!

The News

--Penguins 1, Bruins 2. A frustrating evening at Mellon Arena. And my personal plea to Erik Christensen: SHOOT!

--As Koz pointed out in his column, MAF made his rehab debut last night: a 3-1 win, 30 saves, and white pads.

--Try out the Virtual NES. 765 games. Totally free. No need to blow in the cartridges that don't work.

--Check out the world's smallest bodybuilder. The hair is a nice touch.

--Pats fans who continue to deny their Super Bowl loss have a new home: Giantscheated.com, filled with a virtual slideshow outlining how the Pats were robbed. In other news, the entire NFL is planning to collaborate on another website: Patriotscheated.com.

--Speaking of the Pats, here's the only petition that really matters: For All New England Patriot Fans To Be Reffered To as "Nerd-Ass Idiot Dork-Jerks". I'm in.

--Possibly the worst story I've ever heard: a bride dies during her first dance.

--Jayson Stark recaps all the fun of the Clemens/McNamee circus in Washington.

--Roger Goodell has no regrets over destroying the Spygate tapes. They couldn't possibly be as entertaining as the Chris Berman tapes.

--Josh Booty got drunk. And then he got tased.

--Kelvin Sampson is on dangerously thin ice at Indiana. And if he's out, who's going to replace him? Anyone available? Anyone????

--The big Jason Kidd-t0-Dallas trade has been blocked by...Devean George?

A LIST OF TODAY'S TOP LISTS
The 20 Least Romantic Movie Lines Ever
16 Celebrities Who Look Like They Absolutely Reek of B.O.

Top 10 Daytona 500s
The 6 Strangest Tales of Celebrity Body Part Insurance

The 10 Greatest Old School Sports Video Games

The World's Most Disturbing Diseases
Four most surprising college football recruiting classes

Cry Me a River

A request for the NFL to investigate the final 1:40 of Super Bowl XLII

No, I'm not kidding.

It starts like this...

We the fans of the New England Patriots demand that the National Football League and Commissioner Roger Goodell review the last 1:40 minutes of the Super Bowl held February 3rd 2008. At 1:22 in the fourth quarter, after Jacobs attained a first down the clock was stopped. The following are the rules regarding clock management in a game.

And it goes on...and on...and on.

As of this posting, over 8,300 sore losers have signed their name to the petition.

Hey Pats fans, how about the rule that you can't videotape your opponent's defensive signals?

Haynesworth, McClatchy, Staal, and Sesame Street

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.