THE CAROLINA EXPERIENCE

After a few days away from blogging, I'm kicking off Tuesday with...a post written by someone else. Rather than listening to a half-hearted recap of Freddy Sanchez's six-hit performance against the Cubs yesterday, I thought you'd prefer to hear a first-hand account of the atmosphere at Game Three this past weekend. It's written by A.J., who has done a number of great pieces for the site over the years, most notably "The Official Playlist of the NHL Playoffs" last season. So sit back, enjoy, and get mentally prepared for a potential broom game tonight.

Howdy, Mondesi Housers. It has been awhile since I’ve chipped in with any of the writing around here. There have been a few changes since the last time I posted. One of those things being that I am no longer A.J. of 105.9 the X. Instead, I’m just A.J. - recent victim of radio station budget cuts. Fortunately for me, I have another job and not all is lost. One of the benefits of no longer working Saturdays & Sundays and playing the same Pearl Jam song for the 1,137^th time in my life is that now my weekends are open to do other things such as travel.

Last week after I failed to acquire tickets for any of the home games for the Eastern Conference Championship, I decided to log onto Ticketmaster and attempt to find some tickets in enemy territory. Low and behold, I was able to secure a pair of seats about 7 rows back from the ice several hours after they had gone on sale. I thought that they would surely have been sold out by the time I logged on, but there were plenty of seats available. I guess that kind of debunks the propaganda that the Hurricanes PR Department was spreading shortly after tickets went on sale.

I’ve made the trip from Pittsburgh to Raleigh, N.C. several times before and it’s a rather easy and scenic 7 ½ to 8 hour drive. This however would be my first voyage to the RBC Center and I was looking forward to taking in a game at the proclaimed “Loudest Arena in the League”.

The trip south was pretty uneventful. We did see a few Pens fans on the highway, so we knew we wouldn’t be alone once we arrived. I checked into my hotel which was conveniently located right across the street from the RBC Center and decided to grab a bite at a sports bar next to the hotel. As I walked in the door, I felt like I was entering bar on Carson Street not Hurricane Way. Had the guy at the door not greeted us with a “Hi Y’all”, I would have thought I walked into some kind of worm hole back to Pittsburgh. The place was filled with people wearing Pens gear, all grabbing dinner before heading to the arena. The atmosphere was quite festive and every time a new group of Pens fans walked through the door, a quick “Let’s Go Pens!” chant would break out. There was some playful trash talk between the Canes fans in the place, and a woman wearing a powder blue Crosby t-shirt roamed from table to table taking photos.

After dinner, we made the short walk across the street to the RBC Center. I had read previously on The Pens Blog that several of the readers planned on staging a tailgate party somewhere in the arena parking lot. We decided to grab a six pack and go looking for some Pens fans. Safety in numbers, right?

I’ve got to give credit to the RBC Center, the layout is really fantastic. Plenty of parking (that only costs $10 a spot!), easy access to the highway, and nice green areas in the parking lot make for a great tailgate experience for the Hurricane faithful.

Shot of the Caniacs in their natural habitat. It looks a lot like the parking lot of a NASCAR race.

Again, we took some good natured ribbing from the Canes fans as we walked through the sea of red, and even dished a little back. Example: When one them overheard me ask a friend “Where do you think the Pens fans are?”, a man wearing a Cole jersey shouted back “They didn’t even bother to show up!”. To which I replied, “Kinda like your team in the 3^rd period the other night?”

So anyway, I was told to look for a Pens flag. Wait… what’s that… I think… Yep. There it is.

We spotted the flag and made our way down “Penguin Fan Alley”. You could hear the buzz of the crowd as we got closer. Pantera blared from a car’s speakers as fans swilled IC Light and tossed beer pong balls. The entire row was nothing but Pens fans as far as the eye could see. As the group spotted us approaching in our black and gold gear, another chorus of “Let’s Go Pens!” broke out as they welcomed us into the fold.

Pens fans turn the RBC Center into Mellon Arena South.

Finally, I left the parking lot for the arena as game timed neared. A few shots as players warmed up…

The view from my seat as Cam Ward prepares to give up six goals.

A Ronnie Francis Whalers jersey. My guess is that this guy was probably a transplant from Hartford, as later in the evening I had to explain to one of the locals that her team was originally The Whalers.

Speaking of transplants, we met a bunch of people in North Carolina that were originally from the Burgh. Such as these nice folks, who were originally from Mt. Lebo but now reside in nearby Greensboro. I was stunned by the number of Pens fans in the house. The section I sat in was particularly Pittsburgh flavored.

The National Anthem. I don’t know who sang, but they were no Jeff Jimmerson.

The scoreboard at the RBC Center. One of the reasons the building is so loud, is that you are under a constant assault of audio and video to either fire up the crowd or sell a sponsor’s product.

The Hurricanes love to feature local “celebrities” cheering on the home team. We heard all about Benedict Bill Cowher, but Marco Battaglia sounded the Hurricane Siren before Game 3. Yes, the same Marco Battaglia who played tight end in the NFL and was never particularly good at it. Apparently, he played for both the Steelers and the Panthers during his career. I guess the Canes just really wanted to rub it in our face that yet another former Steeler now sides with them. I suppose that would have really hurt… you know, had I remembered that Marco Battaglia ever played for the Steelers without first having to Google him.

Before the drop of the puck, the place was really amped. Pens fans and Canes fans fought to out-shout each other and there was a great energy in the building. When the Canes struck first, the place erupted. Half way through the first period, I made the stunning realization that I had not yet used my seat. The entire crowd (at least in the lower section) had remained standing for the first ten minutes of hockey. Just unreal.

In between periods, the arena played a video clip filled with various “celebrities” singing along to a Canes Fight Song (of course Benedict Bill was one of them). The tune sounded vaguely familiar to me…

Yep… knew I had heard this song somewhere before.

Wow! There hasn’t been that big of a rip-off in the music world since Milli Vanilli. Now, the Pens’ version of the song was performed by Roger Wood (same guy who brought us the infamous Steelers “Here We Go” song). The question is, did the Canes just blatantly rip him off or is the Here We Go guy also a Canes defector? Scandalous. What other ideas could the Canes possibly steal from the Pens?

Sid winning a defensive zone face off in the second period. All of the goals that the Pens scored happened at this end of the ice. I totally lucked out with the seats.

Of course by this point, we all know how the game turned out. Pens fans had a lot to cheer about and they made themselves heard. When the visiting team’s crowd can mock the home team’s goalie during a playoff game, it is epic.

Obviously, I thoroughly enjoyed the trip to Raleigh. The atmosphere at RBC is fantastic and the Canes fans that I met were all very friendly. I seriously doubt that many Philly fans would have bought me a beer after a 6-2 trouncing, but back at the sports bar after the game, that is exactly what happened. Then again, the Hurricanes fans were just a little outnumbered.

By the way, still plenty of seats available for Game 4.

UPDATE:

From Steve in Raleigh:

"Transplanted Pittsburgher trapped in Raleigh here. The Battaglia that ran the Hurricane warning siren Saturday night was not Marco, but Bates Battaglia. He used to be one of the Canes' most popular players in the early part of this decade, and most recently was with Toronto. He lives in Raleigh still and even owns a local bar."

A.J. said that two of his friends confirmed that it was Marco Battaglia, which he then added means that three of them got it wrong.

More A.J.:

PITTSBURGH VS. MILWAUKEE – A REBUTTAL

LEAVE MARIO ALONE!

PITTSBURGH'S ONE-HIT WONDERS

THE PITTSBURGH PIRATES ARE MY EX-GIRLFRIENDS

THE OFFICIAL PLAYLIST OF THE NHL PLAYOFFS

THE GOAL SONG: When Hockey Becomes a Rock Concert

The Ballad of Cotton Eyed Joe

The Greatest Defunct Places to Suffer Hearing Loss in Pittsburgh

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A.J.: PITTSBURGH VS. MILWAUKEE – A REBUTTAL

by A.J.
from 105.9 The X

Recently, the former queen of FSN Pittsburgh, Trenni Kusnierek wrote an article for a website comparing her home town of Milwaukee with her former city of residence. Judging by the comments left by the Mondesi’s House readers, her critique of our town struck a nerve. Personally, I had a nice chuckle while reading what she wrote. See, I’ve also had the luxurious experience of having lived in Wisconsin and have spent a considerable amount of time in Milwaukee. Since the Pirates will be playing host to the Brewers this weekend and attempting to redeem themselves after getting swept in America’s Dairyland last week, we thought it might be fun to set the record straight and give a home town boy’s view of how the Brew City really matches up with the Steel City.

We’ll take a look at a few of Trenni’s comparisons from her article and see how accurate they are. Is this necessary? Absolutely not. Do you have anything better to do right now? Exactly. Here we go…

BASEBALL ATMOSPHERE

Trenni mentions that there hasn’t been much to cheer about in Milwaukee as far as baseball goes for quite some time, and she’s right. The Brewers haven’t sniffed the post season since 1982 when they were still in the American League. They’ve appeared in only one World Series (1982) and failed to win it. That means that even with the Pirates current 16 year-long streak of ineptitude, they still have had more recent post season success than the Brewers.

Fact is, before the recent surge in the Brewers’ performance, attending a game in Milwaukee was just as lifeless as going to a Pirates game. If you want to make a fair comparison, base it on the craptactular Brewers/Pirates teams we’ve watched for the past decade, not on recent history. Here’s the real story:

PNC Park vs. Miller Park = edge, PNC Park.

Sure, they have a retractable roof, but we have the coolest skyline view in Major League Baseball. Throw in the remarkable job that the Pirates marketing staff does, and they make going to see a lackluster team an enjoyable event.

Pierogie Race vs. Sausage Race = edge, Sausage Race.

Face it, the Pirates ripped off the racing food products idea from the Brewers. Let’s give credit where credit is due (even if Randall Simon disagrees).

Pirate Parrot vs. Bernie Brewer = edge, Parrot.

In the old County Stadium, Bernie used to slide into a giant vat of beer every time the Brewers hit a home run. Ironically since moving into Miller Park, the vat of beer has disappeared from the outfield and Bernie now just slides down a plastic slide. Sorry Bernie, your P.C. copout has cost you your edge. You should have stayed true to your drunken roots.

Lanny Frattare vs. Bob Uecker = edge, Uecker.

C’mon… the guy’s a legend. Anytime you get stuck in a seat that has a “partially obstructed view”, it’s called the Uecker seat. A Lanny seat probably involves sitting next to Greg Brown for 3 hours every night. I’d rather have a bad view. At least Bob Uecker played the part of a Pittsburgher when he was on Mr. Belvedere.

Overall Edge: Milwaukee… for now (just because they actually care about the baseball). However, if both teams were equal in the standings, Pittsburgh without a doubt is the better place to see a game. Truth be told, I’m pulling for the Brewers in their quest for a playoff spot. Their fans aren’t nearly as douchey as Cubs fans.

OVERALL SPORTS SCENE

Trenni gives us props on being the better sports town, and she’s right. For pro sports, they’ve got the Packers, Brewers, and Bucks (with a K). Meanwhile here in the Burgh, we gladly substitute the NBA franchise for one of the finest in the NHL. We already looked at the baseball teams, so let’s compare how the other pro teams stack up.

Packers vs. Steelers = edge, Steelers

Granted these are two of the most storied franchises in the NFL, and I’m not sure you will find two more dedicated fan bases in all of sports. That being said, I’m about to debunk some of the myths about the Packers.

1) Lambeau Field is a frickin’ hole. Sure, it has “mystique”, but it also has aluminum bleachers and they give you about 12 inches of space to sit on for four hours every Sunday. Try wedging yourself in between two cheese eating Wisconsinites and you’ll long for your no-leg-room-having seats in the upper deck at Heinz Field. It also happens to be located two hours away from Milwaukee and they have this whole confusing system of certain home games being Milwaukee ticket holder games and some being Green Bay ticket holder games. Any team that needs a flow chart to distribute season tickets gets an F in my book.

2) While Packer fans love their team, most don’t really know much about football. Honestly, they are like the soccer moms of the NFL. I’m surprised that they don’t hold bake sales in the parking lot on game day.

3) It ain’t that hard to get tickets. We always hear about the waiting list for Packers season tickets and how they are impossible to come by. Maybe so, but scalpers in Green Bay can’t demand the prices that big city scalpers charge. During the time I lived there, I attended several games and never once paid more than face value* for a ticket from an “independent ticket broker”.

* It should be noted that at the time of purchase, the Packers stunk and the fans were calling for the team to get rid of Favre… funny how times change.

Bucks vs. Penguins = edge, Penguins

I suppose it is unfair to compare two franchises that play different sports, but I did live there while the Bucks were involved in a few playoff runs. The intensity in the city paled in comparison to the fever of a Penguins Cup run.

Overall Edge – While sports are an important part of everyday life in Milwaukee, it just isn’t the same as in Pittsburgh. Having all the major teams located centrally gives Pittsburgh the advantage.

DOWNTOWN

I think this is a matter of semantics. Downtown Milwaukee is better suited for living with affordable housing and nearby night life, which is what gives it a more vibrant feel than Pittsburgh. Sure, our downtown is relatively dead after dark with the exceptions of course being the cultural district and the area around the arena on event nights. However, city neighborhoods such as the South Side, Lawrenceville, Oakland, the Strip, and Shadyside are very much alive and each has its own unique feel.

Pittsburgh also has many cultural offerings with its symphony, theaters, ballet, and multiple museums & art galleries. Apparently in Milwaukee, the museum is just another place to get drunk and throw up.

Edge = Even

Downtown is dead after 6pm. Big deal. Try crossing a river next time you’re in town, Trenni. What Milwaukee gains in regional development of its downtown, Pittsburgh makes up for in its diversity of city neighborhoods.

SHOPPING

Trenni says Pittsburgh is better. I’ll believe her because I can usually find anything I need at Kuhn’s Market or Target.

RESTAURANTS

Both cities have great places to eat, so I’ll make this simple.

Primanti Brothers = meh.

Once again in another publication, Pittsburgh culinary achievement is measured by a sandwich with fries and slaw. I know this is blasphemy, but 99% of the time when I eat at Primanti’s it is only because I am with someone from out of town who wants to try it. There are probably a dozen neighborhood bars that make copycat Pittsburgh-style sandwiches that are better than the original. Sorry, just wanted to get that off my artery clogged chest. Am I alone with this?

Pizza = edge, Pittsburgh

Seriously, if you want to make a fortune, move to Wisconsin and open a decent pizza shop because I couldn’t find one. We have more great pizza shops just in Squirrel Hill alone than they do in their entire state. I don’t think there is a single paisano in all of Milwaukee. To make matters worse, most places make “bar cut pies”.

What the hell is up with that? I want slices, not little squares. Epic fail.

Beer = edge, even

This may seem like an insult to what made Milwaukee famous, but Pittsburgh can hold its own when it comes to beer. They have Miller & Pabst, but we have Iron City. It may not be as popular nationally, but it’s as Pittsburgh as it gets. Granted we lost Rolling Rock to New Jersey, but it doesn’t really matter. The bastard bartenders in Milwaukee considered it an “import” and always charged me extra for it. I once brought a map into a bar to show them that Latrobe was indeed located in the U.S., but no dice. I still had to pay full price on dollar domestic night. Where Pittsburgh really gains ground is from our fantastic micro brews and specialty beers. I’ll put places like Penn Brewery or Church Brew Works in the Pepsi Challenge against anything I drank while in Milwaukee. Sorry Leinenkugel, you’re no Pious Monk Dunkel.

However Milwaukee does offer some great culinary treats. If you ever are in town, do yourself a favor and get some fried cheese curds. These little nuggets of cheddar are breaded and deep fried and make the perfect bar food. The brats at Miller Park with the secret red sauce are a must have. Also, try a Miller High Life while in Milwaukee. Honestly, it tastes so much better there. You can hardly taste the formaldehyde.

NIGHTLIFE
Trenni raved about the wonderful outdoor patio bars in Milwaukee. I will think of her next April when I am sitting on the deck at Rolland’s enjoying a drink, while the bar owners in Milwaukee are still shoveling snow off of their patios. Those things must be awesome for the two months out of the year that they can actually use them.

I will admit, the people in Milwaukee know how to drink. Think of the worst, staggering drunk, falling down, can’t feel your lips, how did I get here, bender you have ever experienced. The kind where you wake up the next day and say, “I am never doing that again.” In Milwaukee, they call that Thursday. People take their cocktails very seriously. It’s not uncommon to be rubbing elbows at the corner bar with just-turned 21 college kids and 80 year old grandmothers. It is part of the lifestyle.

Milwaukee also has a killer live music scene. The city has multiple great venues of various sizes and not many tours miss stopping there. From punk, rock, and rap shows at The Rave, to arena rock shows at the Bradley Center, to great outdoor amphitheaters like the lake side Marcus or nearby Alpine Valley, that city has it all. Milwaukee is also host to Summerfest every year which is an amazing music festival that takes place along the shores of Lake Michigan. Imagine two weeks of nightly entertainment on multiple stages featuring everybody from Jackyl to Stevie Wonder to 311.

The same can’t be said about Pittsburgh. With the closure of so many music venues in recent years including the Station Square Amphitheater, this city could use a shot in the arm when it comes to live entertainment. Events such as the New American Music Union are a nice start, but we have a ways to go before we can catch up. I will give the nod to our local bands. The home grown talent of our local music scene outshines the city that brought us The Violent Femmes.

Pittsburgh does suffer in the singles scene. While there are plenty of college bars to find sexy coeds, the pickin’s are slim locally for the young professional crowd. Of course the mass migration of our city’s young people before they reach that age contributes to the problem. Things like high wage taxes, bloated amusement taxes, and now ridiculous drink taxes do nothing to help Pittsburgh’s nightlife.

Milwaukee on the other hand is a city filled with young professionals. Unfortunately most of them weigh 300 pounds. The grass may be greener in their pasture, but that’s mostly to feed the cattle. I kid, I kid…

The Conclusion…
Honestly, it is frightening how similar these two cities are. There were times when I was in Milwaukee and it actually felt like I was in Pittsburgh. Both cities are filled with friendly people with amusing accents, both are blue collar, and both are wonderful & underappreciated places to live.

So my verdict? Duh… Pittsburgh of course. Why? Because it is home.

More A.J.:

LEAVE MARIO ALONE!

PITTSBURGH'S ONE-HIT WONDERS

THE PITTSBURGH PIRATES ARE MY EX-GIRLFRIENDS

THE OFFICIAL PLAYLIST OF THE NHL PLAYOFFS

THE GOAL SONG: When Hockey Becomes a Rock Concert

The Ballad of Cotton Eyed Joe

The Greatest Defunct Places to Suffer Hearing Loss in Pittsburgh

JOSE BAUTISTA A BLUE JAY

Earlier this afternoon, the Pirates consummated a trade with the Toronto Blue Jays that sent 3B Jose Bautista north of the border for the always-intriguing Minor Leaguer To Be Named Later.

Rather than bore you with statistics, I'll limit my coverage to an email that our very own A.J. sent me a few hours after the deal that pretty much summarizes what it's like to be a baseball fan in Pittsburgh in August:

"So... let me explain the situation. I just got home from work a while ago and am relaxing on the couch as I type this on my laptop. I just watched the sports segment with Fedko on the Channel 11 News.

Lead off story... Steelers/Farrior contract, followed by Tomlin talking about Saturday, cutaway to Rich Walsh at Steelers HQ talking about the defense and Polamalu. Then a mention on Gene Upshaw passing with subsequent interview with Charlie Batch (Steelers NFLPA rep). Next... a season preview of Baldwin High School's football team complete with shots of practice and an interview with one of the greatest yinzer coaches in the WPIAL (he actually tagged a sentence with the term "and stuff n'at"... that's like a double n'at... awesome)

Then...as the sports segment is wrapping up... almost as an afterthought... Fedko throws in (almost speed reading to end the segment before they go to commercial).. and the Pirates trade Jose Bautista to Toronto for a player to be named later.

Gotta love Pittsburgh baseball come August... a somewhat significant personnel move is almost forgotten, tucked away in a newscast behind a mention of a dead Oakland Raider and pre season high school football. Awesome.

I truly forget what it feels like to even give the slightest of s**ts about baseball at this time of year. I bet it must be nice... but I can't recall."

Well said, A.J. But did you hear we signed Pedro Alvarez?

A.J.: LEAVE MARIO ALONE!

by A.J.
from 105.9 The X

At the recent groundbreaking ceremony for Pittsburgh’s new arena, Mario Lemieux was quoted as saying that he never had any intentions of moving the Penguins out of Pittsburgh.

"We had to do a few things to put pressure on the city and the state, but our goal was to remain here in Pittsburgh all the way. Those trips to Kansas City and Vegas and other cities was just to go and have a nice dinner, and come back."

In the wake of that revelation, some are choosing to voice their displeasure with the man who has been hockey’s savior in this city more than a few times over the years. Fans are upset that the Penguins ownership group used our emotions as a bargaining chip to land the new arena deal. I’ll be the first to admit, the thought of winters without the Penguins caused me a few restless nights. Those were dark times watching other cities such as Kansas City court our team. It was like watching your girlfriend ride off in Jeff Reed’s Escalade. In your heart you believe she won’t really do anything… but dammit man, you’ve seen the pictures and know what happens in these situations.

As is the case when emotions run high, we can tend to think with our ass instead of our brain. Once again Mario finds himself facing undeserved criticism from the ungrateful and ignorant. He’s no stranger to it. He’s heard it plenty of times during his career. “Mario is a selfish puck hog”. “Mario is a diver and a whiner”. “Mario is only trying to come back to sell tickets, he doesn’t care about the game.” Now it’s, “Mario only used us to get his arena.”

Of course you realize that all of those comments are 100% B.S. Mario wasn’t a self gratifying puck hog, he was the best player in the game. He wasn’t a diver so much as victim of gratuitous nightly muggings and was able to campaign for the more open style of today’s “New NHL”. Mario’s comeback was anything but selfish. With the franchise on the verge of financial ruin, Sixty-six strapped them on one more time because he believed (and proved) that he could contribute both on the ice and at the gate. Most importantly, Mario did not “use us”.

What Lemieux’s ruse did was organize and inspire us. The threat of losing our team caused us to rise up and take a stand. We wrote our politicians, we spoke our minds, we signed petitions, and we supported our team both financially and spiritually. None of us would have gone to the extent that we did had the possibility of our team leaving town not been there to light our collective fire. The powers that be heard us and were able to finally give us the building that our community needed.

Personally, the whole arena deal caused me to take a deeper look into local politics for the first time in my life. While I’ve always questioned much of what happens in this fair city, it is only now that I realize it is because many times our local government’s decision making process is seemingly based on nepotism and corruption rather than common sense. Mario realized this much sooner in life than I did and concluded that if you can’t beat them – join them.

So big deal, Mario threw us one of his patented dekes and faked us out of our jock straps like we were Andy Moog. The important thing is we got what we all wanted; a new arena, a guarantee that the Penguins will always be in Pittsburgh, and only a year after that was delivered, an appearance in the Stanley Cup Finals. You know what? It was all worth a few sleepless nights.

It could be worse; we could be Kansas City right now.

AJ: PITTSBURGH'S ONE-HIT WONDERS

by A.J.

from 105.9 The X

The one hit wonder is defined in the music industry as a band or an artist that is known primarily for having just one hit single. This artist's entire embodiment of work is many times narrowly defined by just one microscopic piece of it. Being a one hit wonder is a phenomenon that is intriguing enough for VH1 to dedicate hours of programming to ranking and listing them and for radio stations to devote entire weekends featuring them. To be a one hit wonder has to be both a curse and a blessing. The financial riches and fame that come from just one hit song are life changing, but the flip side is the frustration that surely must come from only being known for just one popular song. Sure, after a period of time there is adoration and nostalgia that comes from hearing a one hit wonder, but there is also an initial level of disgust from the overexposure that is the byproduct of popularity. I'm lookin' at you Baha Men…

Yes, I own an autographed photo of The Baha Men. The world of radio has afforded me many luxuries.

Of course the one hit wonder phenomenon is not just limited to the world of music. The term can apply to many different professions or trends. For example, American author Harper Lee wrote only one novel, To Kill A Mockingbird. In film, Jeff Speakman seemed poised to take his place alongside Jean Claude Van Damme and Steven Seagal in the world of kick-ass martial arts movies when The Perfect Weapon hit theaters, but ultimately his screen career was relegated to "straight to video" releases. With all due respect to Harper Lee, obviously To Kill A Mockingbird is no Perfect Weapon, but I'm sure you can see the loosely drawn parallel.

The world of sports also has its fair share of one hit wonders. For instance, the Super Bowl has set the stage for many of them. Redskins rookie running back Timmy Smith set a Super Bowl rushing record with 204 yards and 2 TDs in SB XXII. It was his first NFL start and also ended up being the high water mark for his career. Nobody will soon forget David Tyree's supernatural catch in last year's championship game for the Giants. It might possibly be the first catch that he's made since joining the league, I'm not sure. Unfortunately, Steelers fans will forever remember Larry Brown's MVP performance of snagging two maligned Neil O'Donnell passes as a corner for the Cowboys in SB XXX.

Pittsburgh sports history also claims many one hit wonders. With the current "Legacy Of..." series that has been running on this site, I thought it might be worth it to look at a few of the many home town players who may best be remembered for a single game, season, or moment with the Pirates, Penguins, or Steelers. Just to make things interesting, we'll associate them with a one hit wonder song that best captures the spirit of the moment.

Weegie Thompson



Any of you that are like myself and a kid of the 80s, remembers the majority of that decade as a pretty dark time Steelers history. All things considered, the team wasn't all that bad, but they had the dubious position of playing in the shadows of one of the greatest football teams ever assembled from the previous decade. Needless to say, the transitional years between Steelers greatness and those of complete mediocrity were kind of hard to swallow and Willis Hope Thompson found himself right in the middle of it when the Steelers used a 4th round pick in the 1984 draft on the wide receiver out of Florida State.

Swann or Stallworth he was not. Then again, Mark Malone was no Bradshaw, so it probably isn't a fair assessment of Weegie Thompson's receiving skills given the limitations of the guy who was delivering him the ball in the run-first offense that Chuck Noll employed. He was a tall, solid, possession receiver with good hands and Weegie managed to last six seasons in the NFL, all with the Steelers. His quiet southern demeanor made him a popular guy amongst teammates.

During his six seasons with the Steelers, he put up forgettable numbers with career totals of 79 receptions for 1,377 yards and just 11 touchdowns. His best season came during the Steelers 6-10 campaign of 1986, where he caught a total of 5 TDs. It was one game against the Green Bay Packers that allows Weegie to enter the list of Pittsburgh's One Hit Sports Wonders. On November 2, 1986, Mark Malone connected with Weegie Thompson for 6 passes, 78 yards, and 3 TDs. Weegie torching the Packers for three scores was the lone bright spot in a meaningless game during a meaningless season, but it was the game most NFL players dream of.

The song that captures the moment:

CW McCall – "Convoy"

While a slow and lanky receiver may have been an unlikely target for 3 touchdowns, CW McCall's quirky ode to trucking finding the #1 spot on the Billboard charts in 1976 is even unlikelier. This strange song made trucking cool and CB radios the cell phone of the 1970s (my older brother actually met his prom date via a CB radio conversation, so it was also the myspace of the 70s). Much like Weegie, this song is a little bit country, white as can be, and long forgotten.

Turner Ward

Turner Ward played 12 seasons in the major leagues, won two World Series with Toronto, but it was one play in 1998 with the Pittsburgh Pirates that cements his name on the list of Pittsburgh One Hit Wonders. Trailing by nine runs in a game against the Dodgers, Turner Ward tracked a deep fly ball hit by Mike Piazza. Running at full speed, Ward caught the ball a moment before crashing into the padded outfield wall of Three Rivers Stadium. The impact was so strong that the fiberglass outfield wall shattered as Turner crashed through it (all while still managing to hang onto the ball). The scene instantly became the stuff that SportsCenter highlights are made of and to this day the clip lives in blooper reel infamy.

The song that captures the moment:

The Weather Girls – "It's Raining Men"

This song fits for obvious reasons. The Weather Girls recorded "It's Raining Men" in 1982 during the last days of disco, and it shot to the top of the dance charts. Oddly enough, Paul Shaffer of Letterman Show fame is one of the co-writers and had offered the song to a long list of divas including Cher, Diana Ross, Aretha Franklin, Grace Jones, and Donna Summer. All of them declined, leaving the door wide open for the portly Martha Wash & Izora Armstead to sell over 6 million copies of their lone hit world wide. Adding further embarrassment to my family is my sister, who has an entire interpretive dance routine for this song that she likes to perform when she's drunk at weddings.

Frank Pietrangelo

Two words: The Save. For Penguin fans, that's all you need to hear and an obscure backup goalie's name from the Penguins 1991 squad to roll off of tongue. Frank Pietrangelo will forever be remembered for that one glorious glove save against the Devil's Peter Stastny in game 6 of the opening round of Pittsburgh's first Stanley Cup run. Many don't even recall the stellar 4-0 shutout he pitched in game 7, because his legacy was captured by one of the greatest saves in franchise history the night before.

The song that captures the spirit:

Taco – "Puttin On The Ritz"

"Puttin' On the Ritz" isn't just a Mike Lange-ism, it is also a song originally written in 1929 by Irving Berlin. However, in 1982 a Dutch singer named Taco got his 15 minutes of fame by releasing a strange synthpop version of the song. Taco apparently released a Greatest Hits album in 2000, which I imagine is just this same song on ten different tracks. Since he often performed "Puttin' On The Ritz" while wearing a black and white tuxedo, it makes it a fitting one hit wonder to honor a Penguin.

Bill Mazeroski

Please allow me to preface this inclusion on the list of One Hit Wonders by stating that I am risking exile from my father's will by possibly demeaning the career his favorite Bucco of all time. We all know that Bill Mazeroski was one of the greatest defensive second basemen of his era. So, I offer the disclaimer that being on the list is not a discredit to the entire body of his work, but rather to accentuate the magnitude of the event that lands him here.

In Game 7 of the 1960 World Series, Maz drove a Ralph Terry pitch over the Forbes Field wall to win the series for the Pirates. To this day, it remains the only Game 7 walk off homer in World Series history and the most famous home run in Pirates history.

An interesting side note to this story involves the home run ball itself. As Doug Mientkiewicz has taught us, baseballs that end the World Series are pretty big deals. A 13 year old kid named Ted Szafranski was reported to have caught the winning home run ball that Mazeroski hit. Ted did not exactly cash in on the deal, he gave it back to Maz in exchange for 2 cases of beer and the ball now resides in the Baseball Hall of Fame. While it may seem like the kid got ripped off, think about what you would have given for 2 cases of beer when you were 13 years old.

The song that captures the moment:

Frank Zappa – "Don't Eat The Yellow Snow"

Frank Zappa recorded countless amounts of music during his lifetime ranging from avant –garde to nearly un-listenable. While he was a highly acclaimed and influential artist, he never received much mainstream recognition or commercial success. In 1974, he released Apostrophe, his only album to ever crack the top 10. The strength of sales came from a bizarre single that told the tale of an Eskimo named Nanook. Despite recording thousands of songs during his long career, "Don't Eat The Yellow Snow" became his best known. Much like Bill Mazeroski, there was much more to the man's career than just this one tiny little piece of it.

MORE A.J.:
THE PITTSBURGH PIRATES ARE MY EX-GIRLFRIENDS

THE OFFICIAL PLAYLIST OF THE NHL PLAYOFFS
THE GOAL SONG: When Hockey Becomes a Rock Concert
The Ballad of Cotton Eyed Joe
The Greatest Defunct Places to Suffer Hearing Loss in Pittsburgh

A.J.: THE PITTSBURGH PIRATES ARE MY EX-GIRLFRIENDS

by A.J.

from 105.9 The X

So far this Pirates season hasn’t exactly incited the fever of a pennant race, but at least the Bucs have been flirting with that ever-elusive .500 mark for awhile now. As far as Pittsburgh baseball goes, that’s kind of like a pennant race. A sad and demented pennant race, but we’ll inhale a deep breath of mediocrity whenever we can sniff it. When the Pirates last had a season ending record above .500, I was just a single young man away for my first year of college, full of piss and vinegar. These days I’m still a single man, but in my 30s and mostly full of just piss.

I don’t really complain about bachelor life because it isn’t for lack of trying. Much like the Bucs’ quest to draft a blue chip player, I’ve just never found the perfect mate. When it comes to girlfriends I’ve made plenty of bad personnel decisions, let too many talented prospects slip by, and didn’t have the payroll to keep the ones I really wanted. I am the Dave Littlefield of dating.

Lately, I’ve come to realize that my dating life for the past 15 years and Pittsburgh Pirates baseball mirror each other in a strange and somewhat symbolic way. I think some of my ex-girlfriends are very much like ex-Pittsburgh Pirates. Here are a few of the women that I have dated and their Pirate player equivalent.

The Bitter Break Up
She’s the girl who still causes your blood pressure to increase with just the mere mention of her name. Your relationship was both rocky and passionate. When things were good between you, they were really good. When things were bad, they were just plain ugly. After one last tumultuous fight, she leaves you for a guy with more money… or better looks… or who has less of a criminal record. You rejoice years later when you see that she got fat and has four kids to three different fathers.

The Ex-Girlfriend - Her name was Jenn (with two N’s). She was attractive. Like, out of my league attractive. She was also high maintenance and loved to argue. I was willing to look past her surliness because of her obvious “talents”, but eventually she grew tired of me and moved on to date a new guy (who I’m pretty sure had a sizable trust fund). Regardless, it did make me feel warm inside years later when I found out that she became a stripper to support a coke habit.

The Ex-Pirate - Barry Bonds

We loved him (Perhaps the greatest pure talent to wear a Pirates uniform). We hated his attitude (He threw a pizza at poor RJ Reynolds). We’ll never forgive him for that lousy throw (it was Sid Bream for crying out loud). Eventually he left us for more money and took his demons with him. While it feels great to boo him, the little steroid problem and his lack of a World Series ring are icing on our hateful cake… but we’re not bitter.

The Party Girl
She was the life of the party. The girl you called at 2AM and she always picked up the phone. Your relationship with her involved both copious amounts of alcohol and nudity. Your time together was fast, furious, and lasted about as long as an Adam LaRoche hitting streak. She never met your mother.

The Ex-Girlfriend – Her name was Kristy. She was a bleach blond part time waitress at Hooters. Everybody liked her. Our relationship consisted of drinking four or five nights a week and then hooking up afterwards. I knew she’d been around the block a few times, but it didn’t bother me. Aside from the wretched shots of Sambuca she would buy me, she was truly the perfect girlfriend. However, it had to end before my liver filed for divorce. So as quickly as it started, it ended with no hard feelings between us. She had another happy hour to go to and I had an AA meeting to attend.

The Ex-Pirate - Kenny Lofton.

Everybody loved Kenny. Speaking of having been around the block, you look up the term journeyman in the baseball dictionary and it says “See: Kenny Lofton”. He was one of the few past-their-prime free agents that ended up being fairly productive during his stint in a Bucco’s uniform, but it didn’t last. There were other teams out there for him to play for. He’d already been around the league with the Astros, Braves, Indians, White Sox, and Giants. So, off he went to the Cubs (then the Yankees, Phillies, Dodgers, Rangers, etc.).

The Bitch
We’ve all dated one and afterwards scratched our heads and wondered why we put up with her for so long. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Perhaps we mistook her bad attitude as moxy. Regardless, things were better without her and as we found out after she was gone, none of our friends liked her either.

The Ex-Girlfriend – Jen (with one N). I was somehow deceptively convinced that she was the perfect woman and carried on a relationship with her for months. It wasn’t until after we broke up that I realized the amount of misery she had inflicted. Not only did she spend most of her time complaining about my apartment, clothes, friends, car, etc., but she also managed to give most of my baseball card collection to her little brother and throw away my high school letter jacket. She still owes me $350. Considering she borrowed it in 1998, I don’t think I’ll be getting repaid anytime soon.

The Ex-Pirate – Jason Kendall

Jason Kendall had us fooled. We thought he was the player we couldn’t live without. We thought he was the heart and soul of the team. Perhaps we thought wrong. While he was perceived as a “leave nothing on the field” type of player, he also was a clubhouse cancer. Notorious for greeting new players to the team with a hearty “Welcome to Hell”, he was also perturbed by Jack Wilson’s youthful enthusiasm, and built a shrine in his buddy Pat Meares’ locker as a display of disgust towards team management. As a predominately single-hitting catcher, he was paid a power hitter’s salary and for years his bloated contract prevented the financially strapped Pirates from spending on other more pressing needs. And to think, we actually felt bad about that ankle injury.

The Ex That You Got Back Together With
You used to date her and then split up. After she was gone, you realized that you missed her. Why not give it another chance? It has to be better the second time. It wasn’t.

The Ex-Girlfriend – Her name was Dana. We dated during college for a few months before we decided to call it quits. She would be spending a semester studying in France, while I spent a semester in a Milwaukee’s Best induced stupor perfecting the spin move on NHL ’95 for Sega. She returned from her semester abroad and we decided to give it another shot, but things weren’t the same the second time around. She kept comparing everything to Europe and I kept thinking about how much I preferred Sega.

The Ex-Pirate – Joe Randa

In 1997, the Pirates acquired The Joker as part of a trade that sent Jeff King and Jay Bell to Kansas City. He hit a respectable .302 with 60 RBIs during that season (which also happened to be the last time the Bucs were in any kind of a pennant race). So naturally, the Pirates decided to leave him unprotected in the expansion draft the following year; they then watched him get picked up by Arizona and promptly traded to Detroit. Obviously undervalued his first time in Pittsburgh, the Pirates brought him back to play third base in 2006 (Randa banked $4 million bucks for the one year deal). The only problem was that the second time around he wasn’t quite the same player. Yet, the Pirates continued to start him ahead of a promising young prospect named Freddy Sanchez. Fortunately for Freddy, Joe Randa suffered an injury (probably while on the way to a buffet) that allowed Sanchez to finally see some playing time and subsequently go on to win the NL batting title.

The Tease
She loved the attention and led you on just enough to make you keep coming back, but just when things started to get good, she always got cold. There was always a “wait until next time” or “not right now”. You kept trying in hopes of hitting pay dirt, but the day never came.

The Ex-Girlfriend – Heather. She was a cute cocktail waitress at Rosebud who I probably never would have even had to courage to ask out had she not offered me her phone number. She would constantly flirt and toy with me. Foolishly, I spent nearly two months pursuing her with nothing to show for it. Dinners, backstage passes to concerts, and tickets to a Penguins playoff game all wasted. I was the equivalent of Butters at Raisins. It wasn’t until after I finally gave up that a friend of hers told me that Heather already had a boyfriend… who she happened to live with.

The Ex-Pirate – Oliver Perez

Ollie came to town as part of the Brian Giles trade. In his first full season with the Bucs, he looked like he would lead us to the Promised Land by ringing up 239 strike outs with a 2.39 ERA. Then the wheels started to come off. He became wildly inconsistent over the next few seasons, showing moments of brilliance followed by long stretches of ineptitude. By the time the Pirates unloaded him in 2006, he was sporting a record of 2-10 as a starter and had an ERA of 6.63. Now he gives Mets fans the same fits he gave us.

The Girl Who Was Batsh*t Insane
This one is pretty self explanatory. Most of us will admit that women can be a little crazy at times. However, there is always that one girl who is crazy miles beyond all the others.

The Ex-Girlfriend – Janey. I should have known she was a little off when I met her (she had crashed a wedding that I was attending). In the very short time we were together; she threatened to never speak to me again because she did not like the website of the company I worked for, refused to ride in my car after she found out that I had fixed my own brakes (presumably because I lack the proper A.S.E. certification), once changed her mind on where we should eat three different times in the same evening (twice after having already been seated in two different restaurants), and accused me of installing a “secret program” on her home computer so that I could spy on her email. Then on the second date…

The Ex-Pirate – Raul Mondesi

Despite having a namesake blog being his only legacy to his time in Pittsburgh, Raul Mondesi does have the dubious distinction of possibly being the most dysfunctional player in a franchise overflowing with dysfunctional players. Think of it, Doc Ellis’ no hitter on acid, Dale Berra’s cocaine encrusted mustache, and Derek Bell’s Operation Shutdown somewhat pale in comparison to the madness of the Legend of Mondesi. After signing a deal with the Pirates, he managed to find a way out of his contract by claiming that his home in the Dominican Republic was under siege by gunmen. So, the Bucs shredded his contract. Ten days later, he had a new deal with the Anaheim Angels. Since his last stint in the majors, Raul has been fined for stealing electricity and now is a politician representing the Dominican Revolutionary Party. To quote Chuck Noll, it’s obvious he’s gone on with his life’s work. On the Island of Misfit Toys known as the Pittsburgh Pirates, he is the Charlie in The Box.

MORE A.J.:

THE OFFICIAL PLAYLIST OF THE NHL PLAYOFFS

THE GOAL SONG: When Hockey Becomes a Rock Concert

The Ballad of Cotton Eyed Joe

The Greatest Defunct Places to Suffer Hearing Loss in Pittsburgh

AJ: THE OFFICIAL PLAYLIST OF THE NHL PLAYOFFS

by A.J.
from 105.9 The X

What started on April 11, 2008, finally came to an end on Wednesday night. The amazing emotional rollercoaster for Penguins fans known as the Stanley Cup Playoffs saw our boys come up one Chris Osgood kick save short of forcing a game seven against the mighty Red Wings. The loss left us dazed and stunned, but far from heart broken. Not only was this one of the most memorable regular season campaigns by any Pittsburgh sports team in recent years, but how great was the Penguins’ gift of 20 bonus heart-pounding postseason hockey games? Anything that can distract us from the Pirates for nearly 2 solid months is nothing short of a blessing.

We weren’t even so sad to see the Pens lose as we were to see the season end. Now we suddenly find ourselves with a lot more free time in the evenings. We‘ve found ourselves asking such questions as “I wonder if that “Office” show is still on?” and “who the hell is this Jason Michaels guy?”. We’ve also been missing a few songs that we’ve grown accustomed to hearing during the past few weeks.

It was the opinion of most hockey fans that the broadcasting powerhouse known as the Versus Network had several shortcomings with their coverage of the NHL. One of which was their decision to seemingly sell their entire advertising allotment to about six different companies. Granted the NHL on a network best known for bull riding is probably a hard sell for most sales executives, but it would have been nice as a viewer to see more than a half dozen or so commercials during the entire playoffs.

If we’ve learned anything in the past few weeks it’s that: 1) it’s totally legal to construct waterslides in the middle of a major metropolitan street. 2) the orange Edge foam-spraying girls are a little hotter than the green Edge nose dancers. 3) Mike’s Hard Lemonade does not use soy. 4) Madison Avenue is in love with hip indie rock bands.

Quite frankly, I was a little stunned at some of the song choices used in this season’s crop of commercials. Judging by market research, it is evident that NHL fans are the kind of people who attend Coachella or South by Southwest, drink import beers, and are likely to wear khakis. Here are the songs that you’ve heard during the playoffs and the bands that performed them. Feel free to load them into your iPod and relive the memories.

Heineken – Share The Good



So, if somebody gives you a Heineken Light, you are supposed to pay the favor forward by crossing the globe and giving a beer to someone that you’d normally have nothing in common with. I’ll have a PBR thanks. No travel required.

The song is called “It’s Love” and performed by a guy named Chris Knox. Chris Knox’s album Beat (where this song can be found), was originally released back in 2000. Even Chris Knox had forgotten about this song before Heineken’s ad agency approached him to use it in the commercial.

Dodge Journey – Waterslide



Is building a cooler in the back seat of an SUV really a good idea? Something tells me that the average person who buys one of these cars isn’t going to fill that thing up with Capri Suns. Furthermore, we’d hate to be the poor bastard that has to sit on that seat during the road trip to the Niagara Falls casino for your buddy’s bachelor party. However, riding a giant inflatable gorilla down a slip n’slide is awesome.

Apples In Stereo “Sun Is Out” is the song used as the soundtrack to the impromptu beach party. Apples in Stereo is another one of those bands that has been around forever, but chances are you’ve never heard of them until Dodge decided to use their song to pimp their ride. I’m guessing Journey wasn’t available.

Apple iTunes – Coldplay Viva La Vida



Another band that was somewhat surprising to see attempting to appeal to NHL fans is Coldplay. However, a new CD means heavy promotion. The new album from Coldplay will be available on June 17th. If you would like to hear it now, you can give the entire album a listen for free at WXDX.com (shameless plug)

Dockers – San Francisco



Ahhh yes, the unofficial theme song of the Penguins playoff run. It became a bit of a good luck charm to see it. Despite the mojo, I will never buy a pair of Dockers after viewing this commercial approximately 1,456 times in the past two months.

The song is “California Soul” performed by Marlena Shaw. It was originally written in 1969 by Ashford & Simpson for the Fifth Dimension, but it has been covered quite a few times over the years (most notably as a duo by Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell).

AJ: THE GOAL SONG: When Hockey Becomes a Rock Concert

by A.J.

from 105.9 The X

Now that the Penguins are on their quest for Lord Stanley’s Cup, each game day will be met with gut wrenching anticipation; the city will be populated with men sporting bad facial hair while attempting to grow playoff beards; and while everyone welcomes a nice spring day after a miserable Pittsburgh winter, the heat will be met with some contempt and lead to discussions of how the warm weather might affect the ice at the Igloo. Pens fans will also have a song stuck in their heads.

In the Penguins’ Stanley Cup years, the song was “Rock n’ Roll Part 2” by Gary Glitter. Also known as “The Hey Song” for the tune’s sing along chorus, the song became as synonymous with the Penguins during the early 90s as an Ulf Samuelson body check. The arena shook after every goal the home team scored as fans chanted along with the lyrics. The noise and life the song brought to the Civic Arena made it an intimidating place for any visiting team to play. I’d like to think that former Capitols goalie, Don Beaupre still hears 16,000 people shouting “Hey!” in his sleep.

“Damn you, Gary Glitter. Damn you straight to hell.”

The post-goal celebration song is an important part of any quest for the Stanley Cup. During Detroit’s Cup drives in the late 90’s, the Red Wings rocked the house with Kiss’ “Detroit Rock City”. During last season’s NHL championship, the Anaheim Ducks rode the wave of “Bro Hymn” by SoCal punkers Pennywise. Mike Fisher of the Ottawa Senators even has his own personal goal song, written by the Christian rock band Thousand Foot Krutch. While the surprising Chicago Blackhawks failed to earn a spot in the post season, that didn’t stop Al Jourgensen (front man for the industrial rock band Ministry and Blackhawks superfan), from writing a fight song for his favorite team.

Al is committed to the Indian

The purpose of a good goal song is to incite that rock concert-like atmosphere and bring a sense of Bedlam to the arena each time the home team scores. It’s also something that fans can take home with them. It would be interesting to see how many Gary Glitter or Blur CDs the Pens have managed to sell over the years.

Of course it’s no secret that hard times fell on out beloved Penguins and playoff hockey was just a memory for a few seasons. Hard times also fell on Gary Glitter, as he is now in a Vietnamese prison serving a sentence for child sexual abuse. Several years ago the Penguins shifted away from “Rock n’ Roll Part 2” and instead employ Blur’s “Song 2” as the preferred goal song. While I have mad respect for all things Damon Albarn (the man responsible for such bands as Blur and The Gorillaz), I think it may be time to usher in a new goal song for our young Penguins.

Here are a few of the more popular songs around the NHL arenas:

Kernkraft 400 – “Zombie Nation”

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The Pros: Upbeat song already used by such teams as the Boston Bruins and the Edmonton Oilers. Will instantly please any Penn State fans in the crowd.

The Cons: Conjures up images of Jersey Shore night clubs.

U2 – “Vertigo”

CLIP

The Pros: Probably the catchiest song that U2 has released since the Joshua Tree album. Used by the Montreal Canadiens.

The Cons: Even the Habs fans apparently hate this song.

Goose – “Black Gloves”



The Pros: Another dance song with the requisite shout along “hey, ho!" Used as the goal song for the East team in the 2007 NHL All Star game.

The Cons: Once again…



While the possibilities are endless, I thought I’d seek a few professional opinions. I polled a few guys who not only know hockey, but know their music. The question posed; “If you could only play one song after every Penguins goal, what would it be?”

Seth Rorabaugh is the man behind the Post Gazette’s Empty Netters blog. If you are an avid EN reader, you know Seth is always tuned into what is playing on the arena’s sound system. I imagine that his iPod is as diverse as his photo collection of obscure Penguins jerseys.

“I would immediately suggest Bro Hymn by Pennywise as a song, but that would be too copycat-ish of the Ducks and now the Flyers. It's a basic simple song full of power and energy. The Ducks did well to select that one.

Considering Bro Hymn is already selected, I would take "Search and Destroy" by Iggy Pop and the Stooges. Very energetic. Very powerful. And the lyrics are rated PG. Sure it's sort of about war, but Bro Hym is about a guy who committed suicide and the "Hey Song" is sung by Gary Glitter who's in a Vietnamese jail for sexually abusing children. So the PC police wouldn't have legs to stand on if they got all huffy and puffy about "S&D."

Vinnie is the music director for 105.9 The X and host of the station’s Sunday night new music show Edge of The X. He can also be heard on the air weeknights between 7pm and Midnight. You may have seen him around the arena this season a few times this season hosting the between period trivia contests. Rumor has it that Vinnie rents a large portion of Carnegie just to house his vinyl collection.

“Given the completely foreign yet familiar environment that’s created by NHL playoff hockey, goal scoring requires a song that adds a certain spice to the celebration. A sort of feeling that screams, “THIS GOAL IS THE GREATEST GOAL ON EARTH!!!,” Until the next one is scored, of course. The players aren’t usually too wrapped up in what song’s blaring over the loudspeakers when tapping each others’ helmets, so the selection should greatly impact the teeming masses of Pens fans celebrating right along with them. With that said, I’ve always had a soft spot for the variations of “Ole” played at professional sporting events. I realize that another team in the Atlantic Division uses that to mark their team’s goal scoring achievements, but the song carries two messages to me: 1) we’re better than you and celebrating our asses off because of it 2) margaritas.

However, if the goal in question is scored in a comeback fashion, illustrating a team’s grit and determination, I’d consider using Slayer’s “Payback” because of the chorus: “payback’s a bitch, motherf#@ker!” I imagine that those very words have been screamed at an opposing team’s goalie or other player in times of passionate vengeance. It’d be fitting to let the crowd in on the on-ice conversations through the use of that particular song. Although, it might also incite violence in the seats; use with caution.”

Personally, I’d like to see the Penguins adopt a locally produced song to celebrate their goals. It would not only be uniquely Pittsburgh, but would also give some national exposure to the local music scene. While the obvious choice to many would be something from Donnie Iris, I think something more appropriate might be Anti-Flag’s “You’d Do The Same”. Found on the Pittsburgh punk band’s Die For the Government album, the Ramones-like hook, the power chords, and the energy from this song would turn the arena into a mosh pit each time a Penguin lights the lamp.

Whatever goal song the Penguins play, let’s just hope to hear it a lot in the coming weeks. Let’s go Pens!

AJ: The Ballad of Cotton Eyed Joe

by A.J.

from 105.9 The X

October 15, 2000 – The Pittsburgh Steelers are playing host to the division rival Cincinnati Bengals in what would be the last meeting between these two teams at Three Rivers Stadium. While blocking on a running play in the 4th quarter, Steelers fullback Jon Witman breaks his leg. As he lies riving in pain on the hard Three Rivers turf, a decision had to be made in a room high above the playing field.

In the sound booth of most NFL stadiums, the home team employs what is called an in-game entertainment team. In its simplest form, this team usually consists of an A.V guy who presses the buttons and plays the music and one or more spotters to help the A.V. guy with situational elements. For instance, say the Steelers defense has the opposing team in a 3rd and 19 situation. The sound crew might crank up the “DEE-FENSE” chant to alert Tyrone Carter that it is now the opportune time to miss a tackle and allow a first down.

I’d like to imagine that when Jon Witman went down on that fall day back in 2000, the conversation between the spotter and the A.V. guy went something like this:

Spotter: “Uh oh… looks like our white guy got hurt.”
A.V Guy: “Mark Bruener is injured?”
Spotter: “No… the other one. Better get ready to kill some time.”

Personally, I couldn’t imagine a worse situation to be in if I were Jon Witman. Here he was coming off of the 1999 season where the critics placed much of the blame of an anemic Pittsburgh rushing attack squarely on his shoulders. Waiting in the wings to take his roster spot was a young rookie named Dan Kreider. Now, here he was lying flat on his back with a season ending injury. How could things possibly get worse?

Cue: “Cotton Eyed Joe”

Talk about rubbing salt in the wound. Apparently, the best that our friends running the sound system could come up with to lift the spirits of the crowd while they brought in the stretcher, was the musical gem called “Cotton Eyed Joe”. Nothing says “get well soon” like a techno dance remix that’s heavy on the fiddle.

The Steelers aren’t the only local team guilty of going to the Cotton-Eyed well. The loud speakers at both PNC Park and Mellon Arena are known to crank up this hillbilly hymn and nothing ruins my game-going experience faster. My disdain for this turd-burger of a song probably stems from a former college roommate who had horrible taste in music and a penchant for playing the worst songs from his collection of Jock Jams CDs on repeat. Not only was “Cotton Eye Joe” a dorm room favorite of his, but it’s been a favorite of stadium and arena sound systems nationwide for over a decade. I could never figure out the appeal as “Cotton Eye Joe” is simply painful to my ears, but I suppose there is no accounting for what drives the average sports fan to get up and dance (although here’s a hint, it costs approximately 8 bucks a cup).

The dance version of “Cotton Eye Joe” was recorded in 1994 by a Swedish group called Rednex. These Swedes thought it would be funny to mix house music with country music, but unfortunately the rest of the world didn’t get the joke. Instead, the song became an international hit. While I’ve never been much of a country music fan, I have a general rule that fiddle music should always be performed by guys named Toby, Charlie, Hank, or Billy Ray… not Sven or Janne. At the end of the day white trash always wins over eurotrash in my iPod, but this song somehow managed to strike a nerve and become a timeless arena anthem. Leading to random acts of douche-baggery such as this:

Hey… Stan Terlecki called… he wants his socks back.

Most people are unaware that the song “Cotton Eye Joe” is actually a traditional American folk song that is hundreds of years old. Let’s take a look at the lyrics in the Rednex version. Essentially, it is a chorus that is repeated over and over again:

If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eye Joe

I'd been married long time ago

Where did you come from?

Where did you go?

Where did you come from Cotton-Eye Joe?

From these lyrics we can gather that Cotton-Eye Joe is responsible for breaking up a marriage, and then apparently disappearing. Probably a smart move on Joe’s part, but it leaves many questions unanswered. Who is Joe? Where is he from? What happened with the wedding? And most importantly, where did he go? The song seems pretty confusing.

Since these lyrics date back about 200 years and the song has roots in the South, we can assume that the slave trade business was alive and well when the song was written. Cotton-eyed was a term from that era used to describe a blue-eyed black man. Slaves were sometimes referred to as Joes. So, one could assume that Cotton-Eye Joe was a blue-eyed slave. Given this information, the Rednex song starts to become questionable, but still remains relatively harmless. Realistically, cotton-eyed has also been used to describe a person with cataracts and maybe the guy’s name really was Joe. However, it is the lyrics that the Rednex decided to leave out of their version that make things genuinely creepy. Keeping in mind that the dance version simply repeats the chorus over and over, let’s take a look at some of the lyrics in the verses that have seemingly been forgotten about.

The truth about old folk songs is that many were never well documented. Instead, they were performed over the years and handed down through generations of singers. Each new performer would add lyrics and change up the verses sort of like a musical version of the telephone game. However, this particular version of “Cotton Eye Joe” shows up frequently in old recordings and song books. Here is the first verse of the song:

Way back yonder a long time ago

Daddy had a man called Cotton-eyed Joe

Blew into town on a travelin' show

Nobody danced like the Cotton-eyed Joe.

Well, that helps to clear things up a little. Looks like Daddy owned Cotton Eye Joe, and he acquired him as an entertainer when a traveling show came to town. Joe could really cut a rug. Guess this answers the question about where Joe came from.

Whenever there's a dance

All the women want to go

And they all want to dance with Cotton-Eyed Joe

Mama's at the window

Mama's at the door

She can't see nothin' but the Cotton-Eyed Joe

It looks like Joe was quite the ladies man, and mama appeared to be smitten with him. Perhaps this helps to explain why our singer is no longer married? The lyrics aren’t clear, but it appears she may have even tried to run off with Joe. But what happened to him?

Daddy held the fiddle,

He held the bow

He beat the hell out of Cotton-eyed Joe

Daddy won't say

But I think he know

Whatever happened to Cotton-eyed Joe !

Hmmm. Not exactly a happy ending for our beloved Joe.

In review; Joe, our blue eyed dancer, is described using a racial epithet for the majority of the song. He is then sold to a slave owner who makes him dance to keep the women entertained. One woman apparently likes Joe a little too much and this ticks Daddy off. Thus, he allegedly beats Joe to death with his fiddle bow.

Yep, this is the perfect song to fire up the crowd. I’m somewhat surprised that you don’t hear this played more often at NASCAR races. Perhaps that angry group of citizens from the Hill District will use this as ammunition against the new arena, but then a resident of the Hill District would actually have to attend a hockey game to hear the offending ditty.

History of the lyrics aside, we’ll probably never see “Cotton Eye Joe” go away. It’s safe to assume that the Swedish ravers who resurrected this song weren’t hip to its origins. Maybe it’s just best that the next time you’ve swilled a few too many Irons at the game and get the urge to boot scoot when they fire up that techno-fiddle, think for a minute about our friend Joe and the sacrifice that he made. Or, just think about who you might be upsetting…

MORE FROM A.J.:

1/22/2008: Pittsburgh's Rocky Past: A look back at four of his all time favorite now-defunct places to suffer permanent hearing loss in Pittsburgh

Pittsburgh's Rocky Past

by A.J. from 105.9 The X

Last week the Steelers announced that they are once again looking to develop an entertainment complex on the North Shore next to Heinz Field. This proposed $10 million dollar facility would have a 2,000 seat indoor concert club and an additional outdoor event area. Last year plans for a 5,000 seat outdoor amphitheater in the same location fell through, much to the chagrin of area concert goers.

If you’re a live music fan living in Pittsburgh, you’re aware of the desperate lack of quality venues in this city. This town gets passed over more times by national tours than Brady Quinn got passed over in last year’s NFL draft (and oddly enough, most of those tours also end up in Cleveland).

Now with the hope of a new venue on the horizon, maybe music fans will have something to cheer about on the North Side other than the Renegade video on the Jumbotron at Heinz Field. Of course the Steelers have a already proven themselves as heavyweights in the concert promotion business, so nothing bad could possibly come of this business venture.

Oddly enough, the 2001 AFC Championship game wasn’t the biggest travesty to take place at Heinz Field that year.

One by one over the years, this town has lost more live music clubs than the Pirates have signed free agent busts. With the encouraging news of a new place to swill $8 beers while listening to the sounds of the latest touring version of REO Speedwagon, perhaps this is a good time to look back at a few of the historic Pittsburgh concert venues that are no longer with us. (Oh, don’t get too excited about seeing REO Speedwagon at the Steelers’ new facility, it looks like the Pirates have already booked them for PNC Park this summer. You stay progressive, Pittsburgh!

In no particular order, here are four of my all time favorite now-defunct places to suffer permanent hearing loss…

Three Rivers Stadium

Obviously cherished as the home of champion football and baseball teams, Three Rivers Stadium also played host to a who’s who of rock n’ roll during it’s 30 year tenure on the North Side. Face it; every summer you knew that if somebody was playing at the stadium, it was a pretty big deal. Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, The Dead, The Who, and the Rolling Stones were just a few to play there. The biggest concert crowd in the history of Three Rivers belonged to Bruce Springsteen, when over 65,000 yinzers showed up to see his Born in the USA Tour in 1985.

Personal highlight: My first big time stadium show was at Three Rivers in the summer of 1988 when the Monsters of Rock Tour came to town with Van Halen, The Scorpions, Metallica, and Dokken. Mom dropped me off in the parking lot and wondered aloud why it smelled like burning leaves.

What is it now?: Demolished in a blaze of glory in 2000, it is now the parking lot between Heinz Field and PNC Park. It’s also a favorite area for John Madden to use his telestrator to show where the Immaculate Reception took place.

The Syria Mosque

The Mosque was a favorite place of mine simply because it was a fantastic old building located in Oakland. The place seated about 3800 in the main theater and there wasn’t a bad seat in the house. There was also a smaller venue in the basement referred to as the “ballroom”. Ask any Pittsburgher over the age of 30 what their favorite concert was, and 9 times out of 10 they’ll probably tell you about a show that was held at The Mosque. The building was once a home for the Pittsburgh Symphony and everybody from the Chuck Berry to the Red Hot Chili Peppers graced the Mosque stage. Given its close proximity to Oakland’s college campuses, it became a haven for many of the MTV-friendly alternative and hair bands of the eighties. It was the perfect sized place for artists that were too popular of a draw for the smaller rock clubs in town, but not quite popular enough to fill an arena. Something the city has lacked and missed since the demise of the Syria Mosque. Oh yeah, Bruce Springsteen also played there in 1975 & 1976.

Personal highlight: I saw Living Colour and Urban Dance Squad in the basement ballroom my senior year of high school. While we were at the show, somebody stole my friend’s Dodge Omni.

What is it now?: The University of Pittsburgh leveled the building in 1991 and turned it into a parking lot for UPMC employees. A civic outcry over the destruction of the Mosque became a public relations nightmare for the university and fueled the creation of the Pittsburgh Preservation Society.

“It was way cooler when The Cure played here in ‘87."

The Decade

Opened in 1973, The Decade became the center of the Pittsburgh local music scene. I suppose you could call it the house that Joe Grushecky built. Many national acts also got introduced to Pittsburgh audiences on the stage of The Decade and it’s the history of this place that makes it so interesting. For a little hole in the wall located on Atwood Street in Oakland, artists like Stevie Ray Vaughan, The Ramones, The Police, and U2 are just a few who played there. A certain MFOG (Musical Friend of Grushecky) was also known to make frequent stops at The Decade, Bruce Springsteen.

Personal Highlight: Honestly, I never made it to a show at the original Decade because I wasn’t old enough to get in during the club’s hey day. I did however enjoy many nights at a later incarnation of the club called The Next Decade. Thursday rockabilly nights with $1.50 PBR pounders made for some rough Friday mornings. I also found a bootleg on the internet of U2’s performance there in 1981.

Bono before he knew where Darfur was located

What is it now?: The Decade officially closed the doors in 1995 with a show by Joe Grushecky and the Houserockers. Since then the club has gone through more changes than Guns N’ Roses. It remained a live music club called The Next Decade for a few years. It’s also been a deli, a lesbian bar, a produce store, a bar called Cumpie’s, and most recently the Garage Door Saloon.

The Electric Banana


Never will you find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.

The Electric Banana makes this list as number one with a bullet (literally). Another famous Oakland club located on Bigelow Boulevard, the Banana hosted the bands that nobody else wanted to touch. A former go-go bar, The Banana was the birthplace of Pittsburgh punk. It was this city’s version of New York’s CBGB. Shows there were dangerous, decadent, and loud. I’d call the Electric Banana a dump, but I’ve been to several dumps and they always had nicer bathrooms. The club owner’s notorious reputation preceded him amongst the bands that played there. The owner Johnny Banana was rumored to enjoy a cocktail or two and occasionally brandish a firearm if things got out of hand. A former roadie for the band They Might Be Giants recounts an excellent tale of what it was like to play there in this journal:

"we'd heard some disquieting things about Pittsburgh's Electric Banana and its balding proprietor, Johnny Banana. A stout fellow said to be fond of the occasional midday highball, Johnny's reputation preceded him in a big way. Reports had him pulling a gun on the celebrated headbangers Circle Jerks when, following an appearance at le club Banana, they had the audacity to request payment in full.

We shared our concern about Mr. Banana's special sense of theater with Bill, a regular Joe who fills in as the club's soundman. Not to worry, he counseled, as we stood around the stage setting up equipment. "Johnny fired over the guy's head. Besides, he only gets nasty when he's been drinking..."

Johnny’s wife Judy often tended bar and acted like a mom to the throngs of tattooed club goers who ventured there to hear bands like Black Flag, DRI, The Dead Milkmen, Misfits, and the rest of the bands that weren’t quite ready for MTV. Despite having a penchant for rarely paying bands their fair share of the door, Johnny Banana would give almost anybody a chance to play on his stage, a rarity amongst local club owners both then and now. The best part, BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN NEVER PLAYED THERE!

Personal Highlight: I saw countless shows there, but in 1993 I was in a very lousy band called Situbüsit. We played the Banana on a Tuesday night in front of about 13 people opening for some band from Cleveland. We got stiffed at the end of the night when it was time to get paid, but Judy gave us a free round of drinks.

What is it now?: Johnny shut down the Banana in 1999. It was transformed into a coffee shop for a few years and is now Zarra’s Italian Restaurant. John & Judy Zarra (their real surname oddly enough was not Banana) still own and operate the place, preferring to dish out polenta over punk these days.

I realize that there are plenty of other erstwhile places that also bear mentioning. Grafitti, Laga, Rosebud, Nick’s and the Stanley Theater all hold places in Pittsburgh’s rock n’ roll heart. Hopefully, this stirs a few memories of your own. Club Café, 31st Street Pub, Mr. Small’s, and The Rex have all picked up where these places left off. The important thing is to go out some night and catch a band at one of the city’s current crop of clubs because as Cinderella once sang You Don’t Know What You Got(Till It’s Gone).