The Polite Fighter

Here's a great video of your newest Pittsburgh Penguin, "Heavyweight Champ of the League" Georges Laraque. He was actually mic'd up for this particular game, so you can catch him wishing his opponent (Raitis Ivanans) luck before he drops the gloves. I fully expect Laraque to be an enormous fan favorite the minute he dons a Penguin sweater.

Friday Afternoon at the Fights

Here's a few very entertaining Penguin-related brawls that just found their way into the Mondesi Inbox:

First, we're treated to a brawl in which Tom Barrasso literally gets his goalie mask punched off of his face by Bob Probert (at the 1:25 mark of the video) in a game from Tommy's Buffalo days.

Next, we get a heavyweight bout between Francois Leroux and Tony Twist from a few years back. I think it's funny when we hear the outrage of the Knicks-Nuggets fight but hear nary a peep from the national media when something like this goes down. I know, it's "the tradition of hockey", so it's OK.

Maxim Lapierre Gets His

Sweet justice for Sidney Crosby antagonist Maxim Lapierre, delivered by Senators goalie Ray Emery.

PetrovicKO

For those who missed it, here's Robert Petrovicky knock out of Toronto's Kris Newbury on Saturday night. I guess this answers my question of "Should the Pens trade for an enforcer" last week.

Big Ben a Phoenix Sun?

Does our mercurial quarterback have his sights set on a second career as an NBA star?

Sadly, no. Large Benjamin simply took up Steve Nash on an invite to shoot around with the NBA's most exciting team, the Phoenix Suns.

The theme of this week's link submissions should be "The Steelers...Off the Field". First we see Bill and Kaye on the beach, then we're treated to Ben shooting hoops...tomorrow I'm expecting video of Casey Hampton at a wing eating contest.

Bill and Kaye on the Beach

Courtesy of Sports by Brooks and Deadspin, here's a home video, circa 2000, of Mr. and Mrs. Chin relaxing on the beach. Watch Cowher show incredible restraint as the guy shooting the video basically accuses Bill of adultery right in front of Kaye. Come on Bill, at least give us a fake punch like the one you gave that Jaguar who blocked the field goal on Monday Night Football in 1997. His name was Chris Hudson, for you trivia buffs out there.

Steelers-Browns, In Dog Form

Longtime reader Mario sends over this video re-enactment, done by a dog, of the Steelers-Browns rivalry

"The Return"

Other than the Pat White video, the Darelle Revis punt return was the only thing worth mention from the 2006 Brawl (for Pitt fans). Because I sure don't want to mention the 641 yards of offense Pitt allowed. Or Pitt allowing not one, but TWO 200-yard rushers. Or Pitt's -1 yards rushing. No, I wouldn't want to mention those at all.

Pat White, Growling

If the game itself wasn't bad enough, how about a video of WVU's Pat White mocking the Panther growl?

Jerramy Stevens - Tyler Brayton Video

Via the wonders of the internet

Make sure you watch at the 35-second mark. Our old friend Jerramy Stevens starts everything, yet the Raider is the one who gets caught. Somewhere, Joey Porter is laughing.

Cardinals = Pirates?

I just finished watching the train wreck that was Monday Night Football, and I can't help but thinking there's a little bit of Arizona Cardinals in the Pirates, and a little bit of Pirates in the Arizona Cardinals. These are two franchises that are so ingrained in their losing ways, they simply can't, or won't, take the next step.

The Cardinals forced Rex Grossman into SIX turnovers on Monday Night. They allowed a total of ZERO points on defense. They held the Bears to 168 yards of total offense. And they STILL lost. If I were a Cardinal fan, I would be totally flabbergasted after this game. Seriously, where do you go from here? You totally shut down what was the NFL's #1 offense for an entire game, and you lose by one point on a missed 40-yard field goal by one of the game's best kickers?

On the other hand, if I were a Bears fan, I'd probably be more concerned than excited after this game. Grossman was compared to Brett Favre earlier this season, and tonight he finally showed why. He was all over the place---bad throws, poor reads, and a general failure to protect the ball. If he's confused by a Cardinals defense, I don't like his chances of going too far in the playoffs. The only reason they won this game was because of the opponent. Throw up stats like this against any decent team and this game goes in the "L" category.

The Cardinals season is probably over at this point. They fell to 1-5, Dennis Green just blew a gasket at his press conference, and the sky has already fallen and smothered the entire team. Their running game is non-existent. Edgerrin James had 36 carries for 55 yards. That's 1.5 yards per carry. That has to be some kind of record low for a guy toting the rock that many times. And he provided the back-breaking fumble that resulted in one of the three non-offensive Bears TDs.

Once the Cardinals got the lead, they tried sitting on the ball and killing the clock, a la Cowher, Schottenheimer, etc. That's great if you can run the ball, but if you keep setting yourself up for 3rd-and-9s with the defense ready for the pass, you're not going to be successful, especially against a defense like Chicago's. Matt Leinart is the real deal, Anquan Boldin is a man among boys (as is Larry Fitz, when healthy), and the defense was great, at least on this night. But watching this team is like watching the movie Groundhog Day. The result is the same, year after year.

Of course, we know all about Groundhog Day here in Pittsburgh, as we've lived it since 1992. Unfortunately, it's not one day we live over and over, it's one year. It is very difficult to change a losing culture. Look how long it took the L.A. Clippers to go anywhere in the playoffs. Look at the Bengals. They celebrate their 2005 season so much because they're so starved for a winner. And they didn't even win a playoff game last year.

Changing a losing mentality is a difficult task. It takes an exceptional mix of players, the right coaches, and savvy front office moves. For the Pirates, Cardinals, Devil Rays, and several other perennial doormats, winning is an entree that they have no recipe for.

Update: here is the Dennis Green video, which I'm sure they will tuck away when building a case to fire him at or before year's end.

Video of Jim Balsillie Dropping an S-Bomb on Live TV

Just 11 days ago, new Pens owner Jim Balsillie dropped a "Holy S***" on Fox Sports Pittsburgh after being introduced to Bob Errey. I can't say I blame him, because I've seen many people react the same when meeting Errey. But now we have video proof, courtesy of The Pensblog (who else?).

Miami Hurricanes - Florida International Fight Video

I present to you "Exhibit B" in the trial of what's wrong with football players (Exhibit A being Albert Haynesworth doing his interpretation of the musical Stomp on the head of a Dallas Cowboy). For those of you wondering, the thug-wannabe who chimes in on this is former Hurricane WR Lamar Thomas. Hard to say what was worse in this video: the violence, Miami's helmet-raising rally afterwards, or Thomas' egging on of the antics.

Steelers to get Jerry Porter or Randy Moss?

That's what Profootballtalk.com is reporting this afternoon.

"Pittsburgh reportedly prefers Porter because he's cheaper, but Moss would fit better outside and could push Cedrick Wilson and/or Santonio Holmes into the slot. Oakland would likely command draft picks instead of current Steelers players, although Joey Porter (hamstring) could be a consideration. A trade, like most blockbuster NFL deals, will still be tough to complete"

I find this extremely hard to believe. Could a full moon be coming to Heinz Field? That would be a disgusting act.

Thanks to loyal readers Bob and Jim for the tip.

A Recent History of Sports Hatred in Pittsburgh

READER SUBMISSION

By Worstavid

"A Recent History of Sports Hatred in Pittsburgh"

Okay, so let’s set some parameters on this list. My range of personal experience extends from about 1960 to present. I must first say that I wonder if there was less pure hatred in the old days or if I was just less aware of it because I was young?

My first real dose of hatred came in, I believe, 1968. If I’m not mistaken, this was the year that the Pittsburgh Penguins had their first major altercation with the St. Louis Blues. All I can say is, "WOW!"

I had the very great good fortune to be seated in the first row near the red line when former Pen and future Edmonton Oiler Coach Glen Sather got into a boxing match with Barclay Plager, one of the soon-to-be-reviled Plager brothers who populated the Blues rosters for several years. They had Barclay, Bill, Beano and Zeppo. I believe there were other, illegitimate ones too.

Anyway, Sather squares off with old Barclay who just LOVED fights. The just stood there juking and boxing, bare-fisted, for a few seconds, then Sather proceeded to beat the living hell out of him. Of course this was in the days of full goon hockey, so you know what happened next…mass mayhem, that's what. It was almost surreal. Players would square off, groups would get involved. The refs would get things under control and then…you guessed it, here goes another fight in another area of the ice. These fights were so out of control, that the refs sent the players to the locker rooms BEFORE THE END OF THE PERIOD! There was about a minute and a half left, so they came back, played a minute and a half, then had another brief stoppage before starting the next period.

When you get hit by Plager, are you Plagerized?

The pure hatred that this game spawned spilled over into the playoffs where the Penguins found themselves playing, you guessed it, the St. Louis Blues. What an exciting series this was if you loved pure goon hockey. The Pens lost in six, but it was still great. We had a rookie named Michele Briere who was phenomenal. I often wondered how the Pens’ future would have been different had he not been killed that off-season in an auto accident.

Hatred for the Flyers has been strong over the years too and still continues to this day. Evidence the emotion in the Pens’ opener against them. Can you imagine that the Pens will play them eight times this year out of 82 games? That’s 9.75% of their games against a hated rival! The possibilities for hatred that this could generate would be similar to that river of “ectoplasm” (pure hatred) running under New York City in “Ghostbusters”. In this case, the river would stretch the entire length of the Keystone State.

We're ready to believe you, Worstavid

My other major memories of sports hatred involve, of course, our beloved Steelers. I really have no hatred memories involving the Pirates, other than the Braves playoff losses. Sure, we hated losing to the Braves in the playoffs, but I never got to the same hatred levels involving this “non-contact sport”.

Boy, when you talk about sports hatred, there was no love lost between the Steelers and the Oakland Raiders. In those days football was a different game from the watered-down version we’re treated to today. The Raiders were famous for the techniques they employed with their secondary. In fact, one drill had them using a “forearm shiver” in repetition on their tackling dummies’ heads. They had some real mean dudes like Alonzo “Skip” Thomas (also known as “Doctor Death”), Jack Tatum and George Atkinson who Chuck Noll once called a “Part of the criminal element in the National Football League.” He wound up in court over that remark, that’s how bad things got. Al Davis was the man everyone hated. Today he’s the pathetic loser with a walker that Steeler fans still love to hate. John Madden was a big mouth back then too and he was always ranting and raving at the officials. He never shut up. Yes, we still hate him even today.

The stories about the dirty tricks are legendary. The Raiders greased their jerseys, their receivers used “stickum” on their hands. They supposedly had under-inflated balls that made it into the game for the Steeler’s punter, Bobby Walden. One of the best stories ever involved the Steelers grounds crew at Three Rivers supposedly spraying the Raiders sideline so that it was an ice-skating rink for a playoff game. Everybody was getting into the hatred act. Of course the Steeler fans had to get into it too and their contribution involved finding out where the Raiders were staying in town and making life totally miserable…all night long. Boy that series was REALLY full of hatred.

Of course the Browns have long been hated, but that hatred has waned as they have fallen into a complete state of incompetence as a rival. But they had some decent teams back in the 70s too and one play I’ll never forget that really enflamed things for years around here involved a lineman by the name of Joe “Turkey” Jones. I never did find out why he was nicknamed “Turkey”, but after he literally spiked Terry Bradshaw on his head/neck along the sideline in one of the most vicious tackles I’ve ever seen. He was called a lot worse things than “Turkey” after that.

A rare shining moment for the Browns

We used to hate the Houston Oilers pretty good around here too. They beat us a few times in regular season games, but we owned them in the playoffs. They had the most annoying fight song that they’d play in Houston when they scored a touchdown, it used to really get me riled up. “We’re the..Houston Oilers, Houston Oilers, Houston Oilers number one! We’re the …well you get it. It sucked, totally. I was glad when they moved from Houston just so that song would never be played again.

I used to love when Dan Pastorini, their quarterback, was coming to town. So did the Steelers, apparently. I never saw a man get maimed as repeatedly as Pastorini by the Steelers. He got legendary beatings from them. I’m surprised he survived them, or that he’s not a quadriplegic by now.

A really vivid memory I have from my newspaper days involved a Monday Night Football game against the Earl Campbell-led Oilers. Campbell was in his prime and I had the good fortune to have a sideline pass. I watched a collision at the goal line between Campbell and Steelers Safety Mike Wagner. Wagner made a tremendous hit, head-on and I swear that Campbell didn’t score. Believe me, I had the best vantage point in the stadium to make this call other than the back judge who was right there as well. Apparently, the 50,350 in attendance (the every week capacity back then at Three Rivers) didn’t agree with this call either. I heard a crash right behind me and spun around. Someone threw a whiskey bottle from the stands and it shattered into a million pieces on the rock hard astro turf surface. Had it hit me, I wouldn’t be writing this but would be sipping my dinner from a straw tonight.

So let’s recap: We seriously hated the Blues and still hate the Flyers in hockey, The Oilers, Browns and especially the Raiders conjured up strong feelings in football. Yes, admittedly we hated the Braves too, come to think of it. But in retrospect was it hatred for Sid Bream or Barry Bonds or more hatred knowing that our shot was lost at winning a World Series with that team and that it would be…forever…before we ever got another chance!

UPDATE:
Our friends at The Pensblog have decided to further rub salt in the wound that is the Pirates with the Youtube Video Clip of Sid Bream, Francisco Cabrera, and Barry Bonds. That was difficult to watch. I guess that further proves the point on hatred for a team. And thanks to Pensblog for the video link.

Pirates Wrapup, Stink's Daughter, NHL Preview, Borat

The Parrot has a nice wrap-up of the 2006 Pirate season entitled "Gone to the Dogs: Pirateball 2006". The Mondesi readers will enjoy.

Mark "Stink" Schlereth's daughter is an up-and-coming actress in a new show called "Desire". Hopefullly, she won't need 17 knee operations like her old man.

My man DJ Gallo scores with NHL for Dummies, his NHL preview, on Page 2 today.

If you're like me, you love Borat. Here is Cracked.com's list of the 10 best Borat clips of all time (with video!)

Brian Bellows, Bryan Trottier, and Kevin Stevens

By special request, and in honor of the Penguins' opener tonight, here is one of the greatest videos of all time: Bryan Trottier and Kevin Stevens taunting Brian Bellows (video link). WARNING: R-Rated language. Careful at work

The Alex Rodriguez Bat Hump video

Another popular request I am fulfilling, here is the famous Alex Rodriguez "bat" video. The rainout left all of us with a little ARod withdrawal. This should lift your spirits.

The Ryan Clark/Chris Henry Video

This is the concussion that probably contributed to Chris Henry's vomiting out of Reggie McNeal's window on Sunday night.

Odell Thurman Arrest Video

Via our friends at Deadspin, here is a video of the now-infamous Odell Thurman arrest. As they point out, it is unfortunate that Chris Henry does not make an appearance in this clip.