MEET A TRUE SUPERFAN: STEVE MAZEFSKY

If you're a Pens fans, you've probably seen or heard of Steve Mazefsky at some point over the years, whether you realize it or not. He's a SuperFan in every conceivable sense of the word. To call his passion fanatical would clearly be an insult to the word fanatical.

He is the king of customized "jobbing" jerseys. His "Fartsmell" jersey, hand signed by Scott Hartnell himself, got a lot of attention around the web in the last round. And for the Caps series, he rolled out a new sweater, shown below. His dedication and creativity is unquestioned.

So on the verge of one of the most anticipated games in Penguin history, I had a chance to chat with Mr. Mazefsky and get a little insight into what created this monster, and exactly what types of treasures he's accumulated over the years. As you can see, his love of the team has even spilled onto his body.

MH: How long have you been following the Pens?

SM: I have been following the team since the US won gold in 1980, an avid Penguins fan since 1984 when the Pens picked number 66. Went to virtually every playoff game from about 1990 on. My two girls' interest in Sid when he was drafted upped the ante even more. It's great fun to go to the games together. We only miss about five home games per year, go to about three road games per year, and watch every game on TV, home games after we get home most of the time again on DVR.

MH: What is it about this team that makes it so special to you?

SM: There are many things that make this team so special to us, like their never say die attitude and work ethic that came back from the time they picked Sid. The players are VERY nice, especially to kids.

Believe it or not, we had zero autographs prior to Martin Luther King day of last season.........zero! My kids wanted signatures all year long, never knew where to get them. I was told to go after practice. The players were so nice, and they had so much fun, it became addicting. Most of these players go so far out of their way to be approachable and friendly, I never forgot how nice some of them were to the kids, especially Gary Roberts, Sergei Gonchar, Sid, Georges Laraque, Petr Sykora, Fleury...

MH: Do you have any approximate numbers of the size of your collection?

SM:
-7 signed sticks
-Whole team 07-08 signed pucks in a frame made of hockey sticks

-About 60 jerseys, twenty of which are signed or so, including Lemieux Team Canada, Pens 92 jersey and Laval jersey signed, Crosby Pens, Winter Classic Pens, Team Canada and Rimouski jerseys signed, Malkin, Jagr, Gonchar, Letang, Fleury, 08 Team, Roberts, Laraque, Orpik
-8 full sized helmets signed, Malkin, Crosby, all three goaltenders on goalie mask, Laraque, Sykora, Staal
-4 game used sticks
-About 20 hats
-20 or more framed 16 x 20 photos by Frameworth or others, many of which are signed, including some Malkin pieces, some Crosby pieces and a piece signed by Crosby and Lemieux. Have the big Frameworth young stars signed......Staal, Lecavalier, Toews, Kopitar, Lundqvist etc.

-Have several of the large banners that hung in the streets including the playoff banner from last year.
-WB Scranton XMAS and ST. Paddy's jerseys
-In the game room we have air hockey, arcade quality Superchexx hockey and a bench made of hockey sticks

-And I gave away literally dozens and dozens of other items for "charity" or client relations

MH: Do you buy most of your items, or do you get them signed in person?

SM: Most of them signed in person.....the very large Frameworth I won in an auction this season, a couple others were given when I bought VIP packages behind the bench, but otherwise I got most signed in person.

MH: I'm sure it's hard, but do you have one favorite item in your collection?

SM: Favorites.....that is hard......a piece my daughter has.......Flyers jersey with the #75 and LAST CUP EVER as the nameplate signed by Gonchar at Nakama.....simply because of her excitement and his face trying to comprehend the jersey as he signed it..............the first Crosby jersey he ever signed for the girls and personalized because they were thrilled..............the three goaltenders on the goalie stick because it is cool and the Mario Team Canada jersey because it is Mario.

MH: Among the players you've met, any favorite encounters? Any you'd rather forget?

SM: Several favorite encounters.......most favorite is a series of Laraque encounters culminating in he and his girlfriend Erin taking my whole family to dinner at Mitchell's Seafood in the Waterfront and spending several hours with us, allowing my daughters to interview him.......they felt so special, I will NEVER forget that he did that......EVER.

The short version of the origin is that I spent a lot of time late last winter and spring getting pieces of my collection signed for me, pieces signed to give to clients and friends. Georges was in high demand, as was Sidney and both signed many personalized items for me. As a result I put a $250.00 gift card to Ruth Chris Steakhouse in a card, signed by the kids and gave it to them one day instead of asking them for something. Next time down, BGL says he and Erin will not use the card unless they took us because nobody had ever done that before. He asked for my number, and much to my surprise called us and invited us to dinner the night after the Pens swept Ottawa. We met the next night and they were both so friendly and given all the other things they could have done...could not believe they spent it with us.

Another one involved a Pens employee I cannot name and Jarkko Ruutu........heard about a sick child with cancer who LOVED Ruutu..........bought him a Ruutuu jersey, got him to personalize and sign it, bought him the street sized banner from the Pens, of Ruutu and through this employee and Jarkko this child was able to go to the last game of last year and go into the locker room to meet the players.....the card and pix I got from this young man are some of my favorite Pens related items.

Ray Shero signing a 16 x20 photo of my bar and telling me it was awesome!

Ironically after MANY great encounters with Sid, my last few have not been so good.....have not been there but once or twice this year, but he seems to have me lumped into the category of dealer of merchandise, and has either skipped me or given me really bad signatures on my last couple of items....he is stalked and I think adults he was seeing with regularity causes a negative reaction.....if you would see how some of these folks act, I can understand it.........but really nothing horrible at all......they are very nice young men and it is one of the main reasons we love this team.

MH: What is your favorite memory in all these years watching the team?

SM: Memories.....again there are so many, but a few that standout;

The save by Pietrangelo;
Hextall chasing Robbie Brown after a goal in the 89 playoffs......just funny as shit.......;
Volek blowing the puck by Barrasso in 93 despite the fact that I had my Stanley Cup parade day planned since March of that year;
The final minutes of the game against Minnesota when it was apparent we were about to win our first Cup;
The tribute to Badger Bob after he passed;
Lord Stanley, Lord Stanley bring me the brandy as the clock hit zero v the Hawks.....
The goal to finish the comeback win in game one of that series....i was right behind that net!
Laraque goal in playoffs v Rangers cause I knew what it meant to him;
Talbot goal in Game 5 v Detroit, then Sykora goal hours later :)
Kaspar's goal v Buffalo to win that series;
Orpik's series of hits v Detroit
Just watching Sid play the first game and realizing we were heading back to prominence.

Steve sporting another one of his creations

Email: Mondesishouse@gmail.com Twitter: twitter.com/mondesishouse Facebook: Facebook Group

NEWS AND NOTES

Been out of town for a few days, so I'm majorly backed up on reader emails and links. Plus, there are a few articles ready to go up, as well as the full recap and breakdown of the Pittsburgh Sports Media Popularity Contest. So help me at least partially clear out my inbox with a few of the better reader-submitted links:

--Former Lions RB Kevin Jones worked out, and the Steelers were one of four teams in attendance. I thought they were overloaded at running back?

--CBS's Pete Prisco decided to stir the pot and rank the Top 50 NFL players. Ben Roethlisberger was the only Steeler to crack the list, at #17. Of course, he would have to be below Carson Palmer (#8). The biggest story may be that FOUR Vikings made the top 20: #10, Kevin Williams; #12, Jared Allen; 15, Adrian Peterson; and 19, Steve Hutchinson.

--Kiss 96.1 found video of Georges Laraque singing "Ice, Ice Baby". Not sure if this will help or hurt him in free agency.

--The DVE morning show mentioned www.rottenneighbor.com, a website to "locate, rate, and share good and bad neighbors before and after you move."

--Cecil from Cecil sent over the 2008 video of the Stephen A. Smith sock-puppet hecklers at the NBA Draft.

--Vote for Pierogis N'at's Big Snack, a.k.a. Contestant 9, in an ESPN Radio 1250 search for on-air talent.

--Bob Smizik makes the case that Tampa Bay's turaround gives the Pirates hope. I think of the Rays kind of like the Penguins: a team blessed with so many high draft picks that they are just overloaded with young talent. Sorry, but the Pirates aren't in that boat yet.

--Any thoughts on the respective Ryan Malone and Gary Roberts jackpots from the Lightning?

Much more to follow later today

INSTANT CLASSIC

PENGUINS 3

RED WINGS 2

Penguin fans: so excited, they don't even put away their change from the vendor

Wow. I was exhausted merely watching the Penguins' epic 3-2 win last night, so I can only imagine what the players are feeling like today. In order, I would probably guess: confident, relieved, energized, enthused, and then exhausted.

For NBC, the NHL, and the hockey-watching public, this was the kind of game everyone dreamed of. It was the sport of hockey at its highest level, and it was beautiful to witness. The intensity from both teams was unparalleled in this year's playoff. The hits were thunderous. The fans started loud and never let up. As the title would suggest, it was an instant classic, the kind of game where you might say, "You know, I paid $500 each for these tickets and they were a steal."

The hero of the game was obviously Sidney Crosby, for getting the million-pound gorilla off of the team's collective back with his first-period goal and his second goal at 2:34 of period two. But who can forget that memorable third-period shift from Brooks Orpik, who blew up what seemed like half the Red Wings' roster in a matter of seconds? What about a forgotten man like Adam Hall, who banked the eventual game-winner off of Chris Osgood? How about Gary Roberts and Darryl Sydor, whose veteran presence was obvious? Or Marc-Andre Fleury, who came up with a number of big saves? It was the epitome of a team victory, from top to bottom.

Were there any negatives? Well, it was tough to see those leads look like they might evaporate, but this is Detroit; as last night would indicate, it's going to take every bit of energy to win each and every game against this team. Rob Scuderi is still looking for his jock somewhere in front of the Penguins' net, and I'm pretty sure Hal Gill is still sitting in the penalty box; but the criticisms of this team for Game Three are few and far between. This was the game they needed to play and needed to win, and they came through on the biggest stage.

The series now takes a short hiatus and returns on Saturday night, which means a dilemma for those of you who are both Penguins and Kimbo Slice fans. But the pressure has clearly shifted to Detroit, because they're one game away from watching a 2-0 lead disappear before their very eyes. And if that happens on Saturday, we might just have another game to add to that instant classic inventory.

Notes and Links:

--Here's Mark Madden, wearing red in a sea of white, apparently getting into it with some fans. Double M is not talking to the media, but I don't see any press passes around these guys' necks.

--And here's Mayor Luke Ravenstahl, who our photographer noted was busy text-messaging for most of the game. Luckily, it looks like no security was needed on this evening.--Here's a few more cool first-person shots from the inbox:

--Other celebs spotted at the game: Michael Keaton, Alex Ovechkin, a nacho-eating Mark Messier, and NHL commissioner Gary Bettman. And probably a few Steelers, since they're at every game.

--Marian Hossa has nine playoff goals. Is it me, or does it seem like he could have about 29?

--Raise your hand if you missed Georges Laraque last night.

--It was nice to see a sign of life from Geno Malkin, who managed to get three shots on net. I was starting to think that some goons sent by Metallurg Magnitogorsk found their way to Pittsburgh.

--NBC did a pretty nice job with the telecast, although I probably could've made do with a little less from Pierre McGuire, who was forced to scream his commentary due to the volume of the arena for most of the game.

--As my brother pointed out on the Hall goal that was banked off of Osgood's backside: "He didn't go five-hole, he went a-hole."

--I'm really enjoying the custom soundbytes done for DVE by Pens PA announcer John Barbaro [profiled by FSN here], such as "One minute remaining in the show."

It was a nice, subtle way of telling the Trib's Rob Rossi he was running out of time today.

--Keeping with tradition, here's a victory Dockers commercial, featuring the official song of the 2008 Penguins Stanley Cup run, California Soul:

SAMUELSSON 2, PENGUINS 0

RED WINGS 4

PENGUINS 0

Remember Mikael Samuelsson playing for the Penguins? Me neither. But he played 22 games in a very forgettable 2002-03 Penguins campaign, scoring as many goals (two) as he scored in Game One of the 2008 Stanley Cup Finals. Somehow, I think he name will not be forgotten by Penguin fans anytime in the near future.

Samuelsson was involved in two high-profile Penguins trades. He arrived on February 10, 2003, as part of the pu-pu platter from the New York Rangers in exchange for Alexei Kovalev, Janne Laukkanen, Dan LaCouture and Mike Wilson. What else was on that platter? Rico Fata, Joel Bouchard, and Richard Lintner. Needless to say, this Samuelsson trade was not as memorable for Craig Patrick as the Ulf Samuelsson deal in 1991.

After that goal-every-11-games average, Patrick sent Samuelsson, the Penguins' 2003 1st Round Choice (3rd overall, eventually Nathan Horton), and the Pens' 2003 2nd round compensatory pick (Stefan Meyer) to Florida for the Panthers' 2003 #1 overall (Marc-Andre Fleury) and their 3rd-rounder (Daniel Carcillo). A bit of redemption, to say the least.

But it would be hard to argue Samuelsson's value on Saturday night, as his two goals were all the Red Wings needed in a 4-0 shutout of the Penguins. Of course, we should've known it wasn't our night when MAF bit it coming out of the tunnel:

The Penguins had ample opportunities in the first period. And by "ample opportunities" I mean "four power plays". The announcers (who were much better than previous rounds) were marvelling at the Penguins holding a lead in shots at the end of one, even if it had shrunk to 12-11. But that lead would be short-lived.

The second period was all about killing penalties, as Sidney Crosby, Ryan Whitney, and Evgeni Malkin each got into the box score for the wrong reasons. And while they didn't surrender a power play goal, it was Samuelsson's goal at 13:01 that finally broke the ice. The second period shots? 16-4, Detroit. Yikes.

In the last 20 minutes, the Penguins started to play with a bit of desperation after Samuelsson goal #2 at 2:16. A line substitution of Petr Sykora for Pascal Dupuis failed to generate any offense. In fact, everything the Penguins tried failed to generate any offense, as is usually the case when you're shut out. But look at it this way: they can't do any worse than 0 in the next game.

Scary thoughts? Other than the Penguins being held to four shots or less for two of the three periods (12-4-3 for the game), there was the fact that they could've easily surrendered another two goals: the first-period score that was waved off for an interference call, and another shot that got past Fleury and hit both posts without finding its way into the net. And here's another bit of info worth mentioning: the Red Wings were playing without leading playoff goal-scorer Johan Franzen, who was recently concussed.

Here's hoping that the problems can get ironed out, and in a hurry. I doubt many people expected the Penguins to leave Detroit up 2-0, so lick your wounds, iron out the kinks, and come out with your hair on fire for Game Two. Just don't trip coming out of the tunnel.

Notes and links:

--Didn't like the scratch of a healthy Gary Roberts (of course, neither did he). Hope that can get corrected for Game Two.

--Play was a little chippy in Game One, including a brief Darren McCarty-Georges Laraque exchange and some pushing and shoving between Samuelsson and Crosby. These aren't the Flyers, but they're not exactly choir boys, either.

To refresh your memory, here's a vintage clip of Wings goalie Chris Osgood fighting Patrick Roy, with an announcer that sounds eerily reminiscent to a 1980s WWF Jesse "The Body" Ventura. All this clip is missing is a "You're an idiot, McMahon" comment from the future Governor.

And don't forget this little incident from the last round between Osgood and Dallas' Mike Ribeiro:

--13,500 turned out at Mellon Arena to watch the Penguins. See, that's bad luck...I'm surprised the superstitious hockey gods would approve a move from outdoors to indoors for the Pens' viewing parties. But proceeds went to the Lemieux Foundation, so shouldn't that count for something?

--Can anyone get me a picture of Luke Ravenstahl at the game? I mean, it was so important that he attend and represent Pittsburgh. I'm imagining he walked around with a sash a la another one of America's Great Mayors:

--Here's a gallery of 2002-03 Penguins wallpaper, featuring giant pictures of, among others, Guillaume Lefebvre, Richard Lintner, Brian Holzinger, Rico Fata, Dan Focht, Tomas Surovy, and Samuelsson. I think it's pretty safe to say that the Penguins have upgraded the roster just a tad since then.

--The PG's Empty Netters were on the scene and took plenty of photos.

--Trib photo gallery and recap here.

MY NEW FAVORITE VIDEO OF ALL TIME

This immediately knocks yesterday's "125 Years of Pittsburgh Sports" clip down to #2.

GET THE BROOMS OUT...AGAIN

PENGUINS 5

RANGERS 3

If this series continues to play out like it has so far, Sean Avery can report to his offseason internship at Vogue even earlier than anticipated. And he can send a thank-you note to teammate Ryan Hollweg, who decided at 15:56 of the second period, "Screw it, I'm going to drive Petr Sykora headfirst into the boards."

Hollweg's stroke of brilliance resulted in an Evgeni Malkin power play goal moments later, giving the Penguins a 4-3 lead that they would not surrender, spurring the Penguins on to a seventh consecutive playoff win and a 3-0 series lead.

The stat sheet tells only part of the story of this game. The Penguins scored five goals on only 17 shots, including lamp-lighters from Marian Hossa, Georges Laraque, Ryan Malone, and a pair from Malkin. On the other side of the ledger, Marc-Andre Fleury stopped 36 of the 39 shots he faced, running his playoff record to 7-0 in the process.

So the brooms most recently used to usher the lifeless Ottawa Senators out of the playoffs will come out of the janitor's closet once again on Thursday night at MSG. It will be an intriguing game on a number of levels: Will this young Penguins nucleus advance to their first conference finals? Will Jaromir Jagr retire? Will Avery take a run at Crosby? Has Brendan Shanahan decided which golf course he'll visit first?

Game Notes:

--Saturation coverage on all things Game Three from the PG's Empty Netters.

--Gary Roberts was a healthy scratch. Mike Prisuta asks if the Penguins still need him.

--Gene Collier shows some Malkin Love.

--Here's the Trib's official Photo Gallery.

--Prisuta: Crosby, Malkin ready for anything

--"He's awesome," right wing Marian Hossa said of Malkin, whose six points pace all players in the series. "Right now, he's playing unbelievable. The best player in the world."

ESPN Fast Facts:

--The Penguins became the 11th team in NHL history to start the playoffs 7-0. Eight of these teams won the Cup.

--Since 1984, only four players have won both the Hart Trophy and the Stanley Cup in the same year. Evgeni Malkin, is the only player who has a shot at the double this season

What To Do With Your Old Jagr Jersey

Other than Tyler Kennedy's Sidney Crosby impersonation and the killing of George Laraque's five-minute major, this photo has to be the high point of last night's 7-3 Penguins victory over the Sabres. Priceless comedic value aside, I still don't understand why some Penguin fans hate Jagr so much. Other than the famous "dying alive" comment, I have mostly good memories of the mulleted future Hall of Famer.

The Pens moved into a tie with Montreal for first place in the East, and there's even more good news on the way: both Crosby and Marian Hossa are expected back in the lineup for the Sunday showdown with Philadelphia. For any of you attending, I encourage you to go get your 68 jersey out of the mothballs and customize it as illustrated by the male model shown above.

Crosby sits; offense thrives [PG]

AJ: The Ballad of Cotton Eyed Joe

by A.J.

from 105.9 The X

October 15, 2000 – The Pittsburgh Steelers are playing host to the division rival Cincinnati Bengals in what would be the last meeting between these two teams at Three Rivers Stadium. While blocking on a running play in the 4th quarter, Steelers fullback Jon Witman breaks his leg. As he lies riving in pain on the hard Three Rivers turf, a decision had to be made in a room high above the playing field.

In the sound booth of most NFL stadiums, the home team employs what is called an in-game entertainment team. In its simplest form, this team usually consists of an A.V guy who presses the buttons and plays the music and one or more spotters to help the A.V. guy with situational elements. For instance, say the Steelers defense has the opposing team in a 3rd and 19 situation. The sound crew might crank up the “DEE-FENSE” chant to alert Tyrone Carter that it is now the opportune time to miss a tackle and allow a first down.

I’d like to imagine that when Jon Witman went down on that fall day back in 2000, the conversation between the spotter and the A.V. guy went something like this:

Spotter: “Uh oh… looks like our white guy got hurt.”
A.V Guy: “Mark Bruener is injured?”
Spotter: “No… the other one. Better get ready to kill some time.”

Personally, I couldn’t imagine a worse situation to be in if I were Jon Witman. Here he was coming off of the 1999 season where the critics placed much of the blame of an anemic Pittsburgh rushing attack squarely on his shoulders. Waiting in the wings to take his roster spot was a young rookie named Dan Kreider. Now, here he was lying flat on his back with a season ending injury. How could things possibly get worse?

Cue: “Cotton Eyed Joe”

Talk about rubbing salt in the wound. Apparently, the best that our friends running the sound system could come up with to lift the spirits of the crowd while they brought in the stretcher, was the musical gem called “Cotton Eyed Joe”. Nothing says “get well soon” like a techno dance remix that’s heavy on the fiddle.

The Steelers aren’t the only local team guilty of going to the Cotton-Eyed well. The loud speakers at both PNC Park and Mellon Arena are known to crank up this hillbilly hymn and nothing ruins my game-going experience faster. My disdain for this turd-burger of a song probably stems from a former college roommate who had horrible taste in music and a penchant for playing the worst songs from his collection of Jock Jams CDs on repeat. Not only was “Cotton Eye Joe” a dorm room favorite of his, but it’s been a favorite of stadium and arena sound systems nationwide for over a decade. I could never figure out the appeal as “Cotton Eye Joe” is simply painful to my ears, but I suppose there is no accounting for what drives the average sports fan to get up and dance (although here’s a hint, it costs approximately 8 bucks a cup).

The dance version of “Cotton Eye Joe” was recorded in 1994 by a Swedish group called Rednex. These Swedes thought it would be funny to mix house music with country music, but unfortunately the rest of the world didn’t get the joke. Instead, the song became an international hit. While I’ve never been much of a country music fan, I have a general rule that fiddle music should always be performed by guys named Toby, Charlie, Hank, or Billy Ray… not Sven or Janne. At the end of the day white trash always wins over eurotrash in my iPod, but this song somehow managed to strike a nerve and become a timeless arena anthem. Leading to random acts of douche-baggery such as this:

Hey… Stan Terlecki called… he wants his socks back.

Most people are unaware that the song “Cotton Eye Joe” is actually a traditional American folk song that is hundreds of years old. Let’s take a look at the lyrics in the Rednex version. Essentially, it is a chorus that is repeated over and over again:

If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eye Joe

I'd been married long time ago

Where did you come from?

Where did you go?

Where did you come from Cotton-Eye Joe?

From these lyrics we can gather that Cotton-Eye Joe is responsible for breaking up a marriage, and then apparently disappearing. Probably a smart move on Joe’s part, but it leaves many questions unanswered. Who is Joe? Where is he from? What happened with the wedding? And most importantly, where did he go? The song seems pretty confusing.

Since these lyrics date back about 200 years and the song has roots in the South, we can assume that the slave trade business was alive and well when the song was written. Cotton-eyed was a term from that era used to describe a blue-eyed black man. Slaves were sometimes referred to as Joes. So, one could assume that Cotton-Eye Joe was a blue-eyed slave. Given this information, the Rednex song starts to become questionable, but still remains relatively harmless. Realistically, cotton-eyed has also been used to describe a person with cataracts and maybe the guy’s name really was Joe. However, it is the lyrics that the Rednex decided to leave out of their version that make things genuinely creepy. Keeping in mind that the dance version simply repeats the chorus over and over, let’s take a look at some of the lyrics in the verses that have seemingly been forgotten about.

The truth about old folk songs is that many were never well documented. Instead, they were performed over the years and handed down through generations of singers. Each new performer would add lyrics and change up the verses sort of like a musical version of the telephone game. However, this particular version of “Cotton Eye Joe” shows up frequently in old recordings and song books. Here is the first verse of the song:

Way back yonder a long time ago

Daddy had a man called Cotton-eyed Joe

Blew into town on a travelin' show

Nobody danced like the Cotton-eyed Joe.

Well, that helps to clear things up a little. Looks like Daddy owned Cotton Eye Joe, and he acquired him as an entertainer when a traveling show came to town. Joe could really cut a rug. Guess this answers the question about where Joe came from.

Whenever there's a dance

All the women want to go

And they all want to dance with Cotton-Eyed Joe

Mama's at the window

Mama's at the door

She can't see nothin' but the Cotton-Eyed Joe

It looks like Joe was quite the ladies man, and mama appeared to be smitten with him. Perhaps this helps to explain why our singer is no longer married? The lyrics aren’t clear, but it appears she may have even tried to run off with Joe. But what happened to him?

Daddy held the fiddle,

He held the bow

He beat the hell out of Cotton-eyed Joe

Daddy won't say

But I think he know

Whatever happened to Cotton-eyed Joe !

Hmmm. Not exactly a happy ending for our beloved Joe.

In review; Joe, our blue eyed dancer, is described using a racial epithet for the majority of the song. He is then sold to a slave owner who makes him dance to keep the women entertained. One woman apparently likes Joe a little too much and this ticks Daddy off. Thus, he allegedly beats Joe to death with his fiddle bow.

Yep, this is the perfect song to fire up the crowd. I’m somewhat surprised that you don’t hear this played more often at NASCAR races. Perhaps that angry group of citizens from the Hill District will use this as ammunition against the new arena, but then a resident of the Hill District would actually have to attend a hockey game to hear the offending ditty.

History of the lyrics aside, we’ll probably never see “Cotton Eye Joe” go away. It’s safe to assume that the Swedish ravers who resurrected this song weren’t hip to its origins. Maybe it’s just best that the next time you’ve swilled a few too many Irons at the game and get the urge to boot scoot when they fire up that techno-fiddle, think for a minute about our friend Joe and the sacrifice that he made. Or, just think about who you might be upsetting…

MORE FROM A.J.:

1/22/2008: Pittsburgh's Rocky Past: A look back at four of his all time favorite now-defunct places to suffer permanent hearing loss in Pittsburgh

Monday Mailbag

Well, that was pretty bad. As expected, the Pens came out flying...and then were promptly grounded for the rest of the game. Hours later, I still can't find the words to describe that black hole disguised as a second period.

Other than Crosby's incredible goal, the highlights of this game were few and far between from a Penguin perspective...although Malkin absolutely losing his mind in the third period makes my personal season highlight reel. Curious time for him to go nuts for the first time in his NHL career. It was nice to see him stick up for Crosby, though.

That Maxime Talbot-Dean McAmmond fight which happened while Ottawa's Patrick Eaves lay concussed on the ice was pretty surreal as well.

I can guarantee they're not selling many Colby Armstrong jerseys in Ottawa these days, as he's battling Crosby and Gary Roberts for Enemy #1 on the Senators Most Wanted List. By the way, great article from The Ottawa Citizen chastising the Senator faithful for booing El Sid.

Yes, even the presence of Jeff Jimerson himself could not will the Penguins to a victory. By the way, are you aware that Jimerson scored an IMDB page as a result of singing the national anthem in Sudden Death?

Best movie ever?

I must add, nice work by the Pens fans who booed the Canadian national anthem at Sunday's game. You know, Canada, birthplace of Crosby, Staal, Roberts, Fleury, etc. Thanks for representing our city well, morons.

The next meeting between the Pens and Sens happens Tuesday night at 7 PM at Mellon Arena. Until then, we can debate about adding Nils Ekman and/or Alain Nasreddine to the lineup, as they're doing on the #1 Cochran Sports Showdown, which I'm listening to in the background as I type this. I'm sure that's the answer to beating Ottawa. I'll tell ya, there's nothing like listening to a bunch of sportswriters yell at each other on a Sunday night to get you ready for bed.

--Anyone else catch the Mavs-Spurs game on Sunday? I know, you don't care about the NBA, but I had to watch something before the Pens game was on. Well, Deadspin was watching, and they chronicled what I thought was totally unreal: Tim Duncan got tossed from the game for laughing.

--Where Have You Gone, Andy Van Slyke points out the huge F-you the Pirates sent to Humberto Cota by retiring Paul Waner's number...that Cota is still wearing. I know Cota sucks, and by sucks I mean "really sucks", but that's pretty cold.

--And finally, thanks to Dan at the Post-Gazette for his well-wishes in the Blog N Gold column over the weekend. The continued support from everyone is much appreciated through this difficult time.

Now, onto the mailbag...

--A.J. from 105.9 the X gives us a moment of levity after a solemn Penguins defeat:

"This gave me a chuckle (post-Pens debacle)....The Real Story of PacMan Jones"

This is a cartoon parody, and is simply spectacular. Set to the '60s Batman theme, with all of the Batman accessories customized to PacMan...it's off the charts. A must-watch.

--Dave F. asks,

"Which trade acquisition has been more disappointing thus far, Laraque or Laroche? The brawler who won't brawl, or the slugger who won't slug?"

Laraque has been disappointing, but I think that was predictable. He's not the first tough guy to come to Pittsburgh and suddenly think he can play without enforcing (Andre Roy, anyone?). Plus, his presence has taken a little heat off of Crosby, which is a plus.

LaRoche, on the other hand, is a perplexing call. I hear a lot of talk about how he's a slow starter, and how he'll heat up after the All-Star break. Fantastic...if he played for the Yankees or Red Sox. The Pirates are a team that needs to win, and needs to win NOW. April games should be played with September intensity.

We've already seen them parlay a 3-0 start into a current record of 4-6. And it wasn't like the Pirates were facing Nolan Ryan, Randy Johnson, and Roger Clemens in their prime. They were struggling against pitchers like Braden Looper, Russ Ortiz, and Randy Keisler. The only break they caught over the weekend was that the last two games were postponed. Bonds might have broken the record in that time span, given the way he manhandled Pirate pitching on Friday night.

--David M. found this comment from my last mailbag interesting, when I said, "My dad is the eternal Pirate optimist. He's sold himself on so many Pirates turning into serviceable players, I've lost track. I think he lost me forever with Adam Hzydu."

David adds:

Try listening to a friend of mine who still hopes to convince me Sammy Kahlifa never really got a shot, Doug Froebel just had a hitch in his swing, Kris Benson's wife was an independent role model for women or this being the year Duffy becomes an All-Star.

I'm in his corner this year with our potential, although the lack of depth scares me. If we finish as 90 game losers again, I'll have a hard time convincing myself we're any different from Cubs fans with regards to blind expectations!

From a guy who wrote a 2007 season preview outlining 79 reasons why it's hard to root for this franchise, I may be looked at by some as a Pirate hater. Totally untrue. If anything, I'm very passionate and care about the team. If I hated the Pirates, I wouldn't talk about them at all. Don't get me wrong, there are many things I hate about what's happened with the Pirates, but they're my favorite baseball team by far.

That being said, I refuse to let myself get roped into any kind of hype until I see some consistent results on the field. In short, yes, I am the equivalent of a Cubs fan, waiting for something bad to happen. Such as losing 6 of 7 after a 3-0 start.

Also, for the record, I'm not in the "let's get to .500" camp. When we're .500 and throw our .500 Parade, we can then settle in and watch the Yankees, Red Sox, and Cardinals of the world playing in October.

--Yantanko asks,

"What's with Pirates management's boner for Jack Wilson? Doesn't he, all things considered, kind of suck?"

Good guy, keeps his nose clean, does just enough to keep most fans off his back...other than that, yeah, he kind of sucks. But he's not as bad as Humberto Cota, because they didn't retire his jersey number.

--Dirty Sanchez sends over video from the 1991 Bulls Championship, where Bob Costas refers to Michael Jordan's wife as his mother. Costas blames being covered in champagne. I'm not buying it.

--Dave from Canonsburg, PA (giving this mailbag a hat-trick of "Daves") informs me,

"Were you aware that C. Vivian Stringer was from Western PA? Do you care? Do you even know who C. Vivian Stringer is, or why she goes by the name "C. Vivian"?

1. No.

2. No.

3. No and no.

--For all you Slippery Rock women's lacrosse fans, Art C. is the bearer of bad news after their 24-1 loss to Bloomsburg:

From Slippery Rock's Online Rocket: "Only allowing 22 goals against the Falcons lowered the girl's goals against average from 23.43 down to 23.25."

That stat is like a line from the original Bad News Bears. The Bears still haven’t scored a run, but the good news is their foul balls are up. I really question if there is any value to putting a team on the field that is this over matched. Does either team benefit? It is barely a decent practice for the teams beating them. Not like they are playing teams that should out class them. These are schools in their own conference.

I'm sorry to hear that SRU's women's lacrosse team is struggling so much, but that's two women's college sports mentions in a row. Not to be cold towards women's college sports, but I can hear the readers clicking off of my site as we speak.

--Jared sends over this feature on Salomon Torres by Tim Kurkjian.

My favorite line:
"I like to be unpredictable," laughs Torres, who's blown a save and suffered a loss in his last two outings. "Next, I'm going to learn the gyroball."

--Tony from West Mifflin asks,

"Mondesi, what are your favorite television shows?"

What, you mean outside of the Fedko Fone Zone? Well, lately I've been watching a lot of Survivorman and Man vs. Wild on Discovery. They drop these guys in the middle of nowhere and they're forced to survive for a few days on their own. You know, killing their own food, making their own shelter, that kind of thing. In fact, as I'm writing this, the Man vs. Wild guy is walking through an active volcano with his boot on fire. I'm intrigued to see what he can find to eat in this episode (I later found out: an avocado). But nothing tops his diet in the "swamp" episode, where he ate a frog, turtle, and snake in consecutive days.

Other than that, it's purely highbrow stuff...South Park, Family Guy, Simpsons. I'll only watch the news if they can find a way to animate it.

--Chris from California asks,

"Any thoughts on the 2007 Steelers yet?"

Yes...and plenty. I've been waiting to tear into these guys for quite some time. I've had just about enough of Alan Faneca's opinions on who should be coaching, who should be playing, and pretty much anything else that he has an opinion on. As I've said before, if it were up to Faneca, Tommy Maddox would have been the QB in 2004. So his opinion stopped mattering a long time ago. Just block the big guy opposite you, collect your paycheck, and drive home safely.

Same for #86. I know, we're all sad Peezy is gone. Get over it. He certainly has. That's called life in the NFL, my friend. Jerome's gone, Bill's gone, Peezy's gone, Whis is gone, Russ is gone. But you're still there, and you're supposed to be a team leader. So please act like one and get behind your coach.

Last year, I watched a story about the Jets and Eric Mangini on some pregame show. Basically, no one gave a crap what Mangini said early in his tenure because he was a young guy and a first time coach. In one ear, out the other. He had to "win over" veterans like Jonathan Vilma. Exactly how many Super Bowl rings does Mr. Vilma own? That's right, as many as me. Zero. It never crossed Mr. Vilma's mind to do what he was supposed to do and just play for the guy because it was his job. Mangini had to prove he belonged. Once they started winning, more guys "bought in". I'm so glad they were able to finally give their attention to their boss.

The fat contracts of today dictate who's really in charge, because too many players simply turn it on and turn it off at will. A guy like Mike Tomlin really has an uphill battle, because he has a room full of know-it-alls who won a Super Bowl not too long ago. Mind you that these same know-it-alls couldn't put together enough of an effort to beat the Raiders last year, but trust me, they know more than Tomlin. They have to, they just won a Super Bowl. They think last year was a series of bad luck, bad breaks, bad calls, and bad officiating. I have news for the carryovers from last year's team: it was also full of bad attitudes, bad penalties, and bad efforts. Another team totally tuning out their coach...and he was the one that won the Super Bowl with them.

Let's put it this way: my expectations are not sky-high with this team for 2007. In some ways, it's like a rebuilding year. Good luck, Mike Tomlin. You'll need it.

I love Survivorman, but do you know what I love even more? Your email. As always, you can send your thoughts on anything to mondesishouse@gmail.com for the next installment. And please include your city and state if you can.

Georges Laraque vs. Donald Brashear

For those of you who missed it, here's the Georges Laraque-Donald Brashear heavyweight bout from last night's Pens-Caps game:

...and here's a classic Laraque-Brashear bout from the vault

Lord Stanley, Lord Stanley...

The Pens took their latest step in their quest for a third Stanley Cup on Tuesday night, as Crosby and Co. clinched a playoff birth with a 4-3 win over the Washington Capitals. There was no champagne, no excessive celebrations...this is a team focused on a greater prize. If there are any Pittsburgh Pirates reading, pay attention: .500 is not the goal of a pro sports season, even for a young team.

The Pens got two goals from Ryan Whitney, one from Sidney Crosby, and the 18th (18th!) of Michel Oullet's much-criticized season, locking up their first playoff appearance since 2001.

So how are the Pens handling their first foray into playoff territory? Says Dave Molinari:

Goalie Marc-Andre Fleury said he was not aware the Penguins had clinched until a reporter mentioned it, although he allowed the accomplishment was "pretty cool."

I would expect nothing less of an answer from MAF.

The game featured a fight between Georges Laraque and Donald Brashear, which Fox Sports' Final Score described as "like a heavyweight fight between Rocky Balboa and Ivan Drago."

This game also closed the book on another season of Alexander Ovechkin vs. Sidney Crosby storylines. Somewhere, a hockey TV exec is shedding a tear. The career head-to-heads look like this, after two seasons: the Pens have won 7 of 8; Crosby has 5 goals, 9 assists, and 14 points; and Ovie has notched 3 goals, 6 assists, and 9 points. That should quiet any "who's better" debate for a long time, if that even is a debate any more.

Tuesday's matchup was played before a crowd of 18,277 in Washington, but there was a Steeler-esque road following for the Pens on this night. Said Ryan Whitney: "In warm-ups, it was crazy. They were chanting, 'Let's go Pens.' It was a little unexpected. There's usually a good amount of Pens fans here but not that many."

The Pens are now 44-23-10 (98 points), currently 5th in the wild Eastern Conference standings. Next on the agenda is a Thursday rematch with Boston, who the Pens took down on Sunday afternoon. Five games to go (at Boston, at Toronto, Buffalo, at Ottawa, N.Y. Rangers) until playoff hockey hits the Burgh.

Weekend Wrapup

--Seriously, Pens...these shootout wins are killing me.

--Remind me to thank the NHL for scheduling the Flyers eight times this season.

--Erik Christensen: one of the most subdued goal celebrations of all time in the second period.

--The Georges Laraque fight watch is at three games and counting. You may be waiting a while, as opponents are in no hurry to challenge "BGL".

--If Laraque isn't stirring the pot to your liking yet, focus your eyes on one Gary Roberts.

--Does anyone know what planet Brett Hull resides on? Follow his argument during the intermission of the Pens-Flyers game on NBC on Sunday: if a team trades a pending free agent at the trade deadline, they shouldn't be allowed to sign him next year. Think the Penguins trading Mark Recchi to Carolina last year, then the Pens' subsequent re-signing of Recchi for this season.

No, I didn't understand his point, either.

--For the third straight year, Pitt winds down their regular season on a low note with a second loss to Marquette. In front of a national audience, Levance Fields completely lost his shooting stroke, going just 2-for-13 from the floor, including 1-of-8 from three-point land. If just a few more of those shots fall, with just a four-point defecit...

--Aaron Gray turned in a solid 18/13 effort in his last regular season game as a Panther. The Grayzilla finished with 14.4 points and 10.1 rebounds per game for the season...very similar to his 13.9/10.5 marks of a year ago. Looking back, I think we can agree that Gray had a solid season. But worthy of Preseason Big East Player of the Year? Let's not get carried away. (By the way, Gray's draft stock has fallen to #24, according to nbadraft.net).

--Anyone else catch that icy "handshake" between Jamie Dixon and Tom Crean after the game?

--After spending much of the year in the driver's seat, Pitt now falls all the way to third in the Big East with the loss. They'll most likely play Marquette in the first round of the tournament, as long the Sons of Dwyane Wade can get past 11-seed St. John's. Check out Pitt Blather for the complete Big East bracket.

--The NFL free agent period fascinated me:

-I think the Denver Broncos made an offer on every single player available. McGahee. Lewis. Henry. Kerney. Buckhalter. Graham. Geez, they're even bringing in Brad Johnson for a visit.

-The Texans gave $23 million to 30-year-old Ahman Green a year after turning their nose at Reggie Bush. There's a reason why they're the Texans.

-Tampa Bay now has three veteran QBs who've never won anything after picking up Jeff Garcia and Jake Plummer.

-Good call by all of the "experts" saying Garcia would sign with Denver to "mentor" Jay Cutler. I have news for you: Jeff Garcia is mentor to no one except Carmella Decesare.

-The Browns gave $49 million to former Bengal Eric Steinbach. Expect him to suffer a career-ending injury on the first day of minicamp.

-Joey Porter's name has been linked to Cleveland and Cincinnati. Words can't even begin to describe the fun either one of those possibilities would bring twice a year.

-Throughout the entire weekend, I never heard the words "Steelers" and "bringing in a free agent for a visit" uttered once.

--Duke loses again, this time giving a bloody nose to an enraged Tyler Hansbrough in the process. I see where the "Psycho T" nickname comes from.

--You have to check out Idiocracy with Luke Wilson on DVD. Best comedy I've seen in a long, long time. It was written by Mike (Beavis and Butthead, Office Space) Judge. There are plenty of conspiracy theories regarding its release, most notably the anti-corporate theme throughout the film.

I recommend Idiocracy almost as much as a certain DVD that hits on Tuesday:

--Try and catch Andrew Dice Clay: Dice Undisputed on VH1. It looks like I've found the show to fit my "one reality show at a time" quota. I was never a Dice fan, but I heard him on Stern last week and was immediately hooked. Looks like a keeper.

Gloves Stay On, Pens Win

Thursday night meant the much-anticipated debut of new Penguins Georges Laraque and Gary Roberts on the stage of Madison Square Garden. While their play did not tremendously affect the outcome, they've at least proven their worth as good luck charms.

The Pens were able to shake off a nasty streak that's limited them to one goal in their last two games and outlast the Rangers, 4-3, in what else, a shootout. The Pens still haven't found a recipe for even-strength goals going back three games now, but if they manage to light the lamp twice while shorthanded (as they did tonight), that's not anything to complain about.

Marc-Andre Fleury was once again excellent in the shootout, probably because he's had so much practice. His stop on Jaromir was especially sweet. And Mr. Crosby looks like he's finding the knack for shootout game-winners, as he pulled off that feat for the second time this season.

I guess it's newsworthy that Laraque did not get into a fight tonight, but honestly, I don't see him getting into many. I see him in more of a guard-dog role. You know he's there, you know he bites, and you don't want to take a chance if you don't have to. His mere presence will act as a deterrent to a lot of the nonsense we've witnessed all season. But don't worry...eventually, someone will tease the guard dog, and they'll get bit.

Next up is a meeting with the Carolina Hurricanes Friday night at 7, part of the Penguins' March Madness tour of North America (17 games in 31 days). And no, Brooks Orpik nemesis Erik Cole will not be in the Hurricane lineup.

Despite Roberts Press Conference, Pens Still Lose

Tuesday was a good day and a bad day for the Penguins. On the good side, they picked up Gary Roberts, Georges Laraque, Joel Kwiatkowski, and Nolan Schaefer. On the bad side, they waved goodbye to Noah Welch, Dominic Moore, and Danny Carcillo. On the good side, they welcomed Roberts to town with a press conference between periods. On the bad side, they also welcomed the New Jersey Devils to the Arena.

New Jersey brought their boring style to the Igloo and subsequently shut down the league's 3rd-highest-scoring team. The Pens are in the midst of a rare scoring slump, with just one goal (on a 5-on-3) in the last two games. It was only the third time this year the Penguins have been shut out. Detroit pulled off the goose egg in the second game of the year, and the Devils and Martin Brodeur shut them out on December 26.

On this night, Brodeur stopped all 31 shots he faced. His shutout tonight, the 12th of his season, moved him into a third place tie on the all-time list with 92 shutouts. Marc-Andre Fleury stopped 23 of 24, posting a solid effort after a few shaky performances from Penguin netminders.

All in all, it was another tough loss for our favorite hockey team. There's not much more to say; there were no fights, no Penguin goals, and no goalies pulled. It's a typical Devils game. So we need something to lift our collective spirits. And what better way than a video gallery of the best of Georges Laraque (other than his all-time best, the mic'd up version I posted earlier).

"Best Of" 2005-06 Season Compilation

"Versus Derek Boogaard, 11/14/06"

"Vs. Rob Ray"

"Vs Darcy Hordichuk 2/1/07"

"Vs. Donald Brashear"

"Vs. Darren McCarty"

"Vs. Chris Simon"

"Vs. Krzysztof Oliwa"

"Battling Racism in the NHL"

The Polite Fighter

Here's a great video of your newest Pittsburgh Penguin, "Heavyweight Champ of the League" Georges Laraque. He was actually mic'd up for this particular game, so you can catch him wishing his opponent (Raitis Ivanans) luck before he drops the gloves. I fully expect Laraque to be an enormous fan favorite the minute he dons a Penguin sweater.

BREAKING: Roberts and Laraque to Pens, Moore to Wild

TSN.ca has announced that the Pens have just finalized two trades:

Trade 1: The Pens trade forward Daniel Carcillo and an 8th round pick to the Coyotes for 30-year-old enforcer Georges Laraque (TSN link)

Trade 2: The Pens trade defenseman Noah Welch to Florida for 40-year-old forward Gary Roberts (TSN link)

Trade 3: The Pens ship Dominic Moore to Minnesota for a 3rd round draft pick (TSN link)

Laraque fills the need many feel the Penguins had for a tough guy. He also gives relationship advice every week on a radio show in every city he's played in. Sounds like he'll fit right in.

Roberts first laced up the skates for Calgary in 1986 and has scored 424 career goals, with a career high 51 in 1992. He waived his no-trade clause to join the Penguins.

Related:
Georges Laraque Official Website

What You Want to See

Here's the best submissions received over the last 24 hours...there's no way I could post every one of them, but I present a few of the articles you think your fellow readers would enjoy...

Shadyside, welcome your new neighbor...Mike Tomlin.

The Georges Laraque to the Pens rumors are heating up.

Is Vijay Singh the next Tim Hardaway? With video...yay!

Coming to a golf course near you: the traveling Caddyshack road show, hosted by Lacey Underalls.

Does Jack Wilson look like a British rapper?

What law firm would represent PacMan Jones? A firm that will have a client for life.

Michael Irvin's having a tough time finding some work. Maybe he could replace Lamar Thomas as a Miami broadcaster.

Page 2 checks in with former "America's hottest athletes" Amanda Beard, Jennie Finch and Heather Mitts.

Brown U. is hot on the trail of one of the former Duke lacrosse players. By the way, Duke lacrosse will have their Saturday opener broadcast on ESPNU.

If you have an extra $5,000 laying around, why not invest it on a Tarvaris Jackson football card?

One reader thought this was a great headline. I'm sure you'd agree.

Nothing like catching the biggest squid of all time to brighten your day.

Here's five ways to kill a movie franchise.