NEWS AND NOTES

Major announcment coming this afternoon...be sure to check back

--Don't forget, Mark Madden is back today on 105.9 the X at 3 PM. I will be listening. [WXDX.com]

--Colin Cowherd just said (after six games in the season) that Matt Ryan is the best rookie quarterback ever, "Even better than Peyton Manning". Don't get me started. [ESPN Radio]

--Lou Holtz freaks out on an ESPN segment. Luckily, the mikes and cameras were on. [The Big Lead]

--Was that Dan Orlovsky safety in the Lions game one of the worst plays you've ever seen or what? [Obsessed with Sports]

--Another season of Pittsburgh XPlosion basketball is on the horizon. Look for my annual post sometime soon. [Trib]

--Highly-touted TE Brock DeCicco chooses Pitt over the weekend. [Pitt Blather]

--Yes, that was Sean Morey blocking the punt in overtime in the Pittsburgh West Cardinals' win over Dallas yesterday. [ESPN]

--Weird Al takes on TI's "Whatever You Like". Do people really still follow Weird Al? [The Rap Up]

--Here's 15 awesome Madden glitches caught on video [on205th]

--And here's Eric Cartman's 9 Most Evil Moments [Screen Junkies]

--By the way, you can now watch every South Park episode for free online (including the very controversial episode first aired on Wednesday - read about it here). Glad I invested in all of those DVD sets. [Comedy Central]

--It's the 10 Dumbest Avengers Moments Stan Lee Ever Wrote [Topless Robot]


--I don't know if it's used in any other songs, but I can definitely tell you that the background music for the new Nike Troy Polamalu/Ladainian Tomlinson commercial is present in Jay-Z's "Blueprint 2" (might want to lower the volume if listening at work):

Your Semi-Annual XPlosion Post

We're about due for a token post on the Pittsburgh XPlosion, so consider the quota met. Our favorite CBA Basketball team, built mostly of players hailing from the feeder program known as the University of Pittsburgh, is currently playing in the American Conference best-of-three series in the basketball hotbed of Minot, North Dakota.

How do I know this? Because the P-G felt it was worthy of inclusion in the "Sports Briefs" sidebar. That's right, the X-Men are in the AC series and they don't even get a real article, just a footnote in a filler column with a name that sounds like a pair of men's underwear.

So how are the XPlosion doing in the series? Well, Minot got the best of them in Game 1, 105-87. Game 2 is tonight and Game 3 (if necessary!) would be Thursday at The Pete. I tried getting some stats for you, but since the official XPlosion wrapup was written for the "90 words or less" crowd, that's an impossibility. I guess I'll have to go to the XPlosion message board to get you the information you thirst for...

(20 seconds pass)

...OK, I'm back from the message board. I found out that I could've taken Amtrak to support the XPlosion in Minot, and I was reprimanded for not attending a charity basketball game featuring Mel Blount and Big Ben, but I couldn't find any more info on Game 1. I guess we'll forever wonder how many points Carl Krauser and John DeGroat put up. If I really cared, I would've taken that bus to North Dakota.

All kidding aside, I wish the best of luck to the XPlosion. These are guys who are truly playing for the love of the game, and that's always honorable. Let's hope for a Game 3 in Pittsburgh; if Pitt players are indeed suiting up that night, tell them they're in Madison Square Garden and I can almost guarantee victory.

The News

--Pens win! Pens win! And more importantly comes the revelation from a reader that Dan Potash may be the Pittsburgh equivalent of TNT's Craig Sager. All he needs is a few loud suits, and he's all set.

--Pitt wins! Pitt wins! The good news: Pitt wasn't upset by Mississippi Valley State, alma mater of Jerry Rice. The bad news: DeJuan Blair left the game with an injured tailbone. The insignificant news: the Pittsburgh XPlosion open their season at the Pete tonight. But you'll have to wait until February 1 to see the Atlanta Krunk.

--Bad news for Barry. But on the bright side, there's that offer from the Wild Things....

--A-Rod stays in pinstripes for 10 more years. So let's recap: first, he interrupts the World Series to announce that he's opting out of his Yankee contract. And now, he steals the headlines from Barry Bonds!

--After six games, ESPN already has a tracker comparing the Celtics to the 1995-96 Bulls. No, they're not overreacting at all...

--Another black eye for Penn State...and from the sounds of it, a black eye for the victim of this beatdown.

--Deshea Townsend: INNOCENT!

--In other Steeler secondary news, Ryan Clark has one less spleen than he used to.

--35-year-old Game Manager Trent Dilfer fights a 22-year-old defensive back at 49er practice yesterday. I'm guessing Mike Tirico would spin this as "the struggling team showing some fight".

--A great blog: Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians

--The one guy who left Sabathia off his Cy Young ballot explains himself.

--What's going on with the NHL All-Star voting free XM preview?

--Great news: you can now text your orders to Papa John's.

--Here's a quick site to figure out your BMI (Body Mass Index). I'm hoping for your health's sake that most of you come in at "normal weight" as opposed to "obesity".

--From the Headline Says It All Department: "Woman Finds Boyfriend Dead In Cat Door"

--If the words Ninja Gaiden, Double Dribble, and Baseball Stars ring a bell, it's time for you to take Nintendo Historian Quiz 2.

A LIST OF TODAY'S TOP LISTS:

The 8 Guys You Run Into at a Sports Book

The 25 Most Baffling Toys From Around the World

The 9 Most Racist Disney Characters

A Perfect Fit: The X Meets the XPlosion

One, two, three sad basketball players

Guess what time of year it is, folks? That's right, CBA Basketball season! And somehow, some way, the Pittsburgh XPlosion have managed to hang around for another campaign. When you're building on a 10-38 season in '06-07, you basically have nowhere to go but up.

This season, the XPlosion are opting to look like a Pitt alumni squad, as their recent acquisitions of Carl Krauser (he of the famous Bronx "X" celebration), Antonio Graves, and John Degroat would illustrate. All they need is Ben Howland and they might make the Sweet 16. This pro-Pitt philosophy goes counter to the "build around Kevin Pittsnogle" plan that sorta blew up around March of last season.

A CBA interview, clearly the worst assignment of the great Dan Potash's career

The good news is that the dance team is also back for another year. Requirements for dancers include a $30 tryout fee, a two-piece outfit consisting of a midriff top and briefs or hot shorts, and ability to sell one sponsorship package. Seriously.

Sadly, I see no mention of the Hooters Rooters fan bus this season. At least four players are beside themselves.

Krauser Back at the Pete [Pitt Blather]

Join the Hooters Rooters [Mondesi's House]

Below XPectations

If you weren't paying attention (and the attendance looks like you weren't), the much-ignored inaugural CBA season of the Pittsburgh XPlosion came to a conclusion on Friday night. I've been hard on the XPlosion in the past, but as I told a reader who asked for my thoughts on the team, "at this point, it's like kicking a guy when he's already down."

The team finished with an amazing 10-38 record on the year. The P-G described it as "...a mess on the court with a coaching change, 52 roster moves, 32 different starting lineups and a last-place finish in the American Conference."

Even the shining star known as Kevin Pittsnogle couldn't rescue this team from their abysmal run. As the P-G article notes, Pittsnogle was injured midway through the season and eventually went home for the final eight games of the campaign. He was placed on the inactive reserve list by the XPlosion on March 12.

The conclusion of the XPlosion season was a Friday-night doubleheader. The JV game was a Pittsburgh Steeler charity game against local celebrities (how did I miss coverage of that?) and also featured an appearance by former heavyweight champion Roy Jones, Jr.

(By the way, how long until a Steeler gets hurt in one of these charity games, then everyone gives the predictable knee-jerk reaction that it's stupid for them to play in these games?)

The XPlosion, refusing to cut their losses and move on, insist that they'll be back for another season of punishment in 2007-08. Why? I have no idea. Basketball is a tough sell in Pittsburgh beyond the Panthers. I doubt an NBA team would even generate much interest in the city, especially considering the state of the Penguins. So I'm not surprised when 50 people turn out to watch a 10-38 minor-league team take the floor. Of course, about 2.6 million Pittsburghers turned out to watch a 67-95 baseball team, so maybe I don't know what I'm talking about.

"Mondesi Classic" XPlosion articles:

Reader Submission: A Pittsburgh XPlosion XPerience

Pittsnogle XPlodes Into Pittsburgh

Pittsburgh XPlosion on the Move

Join the Hooters Rooters

End of the Line for Barnaby, Slippery Rock Sliders, Gay NBA Player, Stuart Scott Angry, CBA Gets Pittsnogled

Wow...you guys are really coming through with some quality link material from the four corners of the globe. That Peyton Manning autograph is quite the motivational tool.

HOCKEY:

Guy Lafleur's son is selling his case of hockey cards, and he doesn't appreciate your doubts as to the provenance.

The Hanson Brothers have their own website, with the obligatory store containing plenty of cool collectibles like bobbleheads, Chiefs jerseys, and autographed photos. As my father, Felipe Mondesi, can attest to, the autographed photos are well-received gifts for Slapshot fans.

Former Penguin Matthew Barnaby looks to have agitated his final opponent, as his NHL career appears to be over.

BASEBALL:

Look out, Washington Wild Things. The Slippery Rock Sliders signed the Division III leader in runs scored.

FOOTBALL:

The Indy Colts had a parade to celebrate Peyton Manning winning the big one, and somehow I don't think it quite measured up to a certain Pennsylvania town's parade last year.

MEDIA:

Deadspin Super Bowl correspondent A.J. Daulerio has become the hunted, and the hunter is Stuart Scott.

BASKETBALL:

The rumblings are out that former NBA player John Amaechi is gay, and that ESPN Books is releasing his story on February 20. I'm just warning you; this guy will be on more ESPN programs than John Clayton and Sal Paolantonio combined in the next few weeks.

Tyrus Thomas was fined $10,000 for this innocent quote about the NBA Dunk Contest: "I'm just going to go out there, get my check and call it a day."

A great piece on Pittsburgh XPlosion All-Star Kevin Federli...I mean, Kevin Pittsnogle.

RANDOM FUN STUFF:

GLAAD is asking for an apology from one Paris Hilton.

A funny list of 50 things you'll never hear. Not on the list: "I can't wait for the Pro Bowl this weekend."

Reader Submission: A Pittsburgh XPlosion XPerience

Just into the Mondesi Mailbag comes this in-person account of a Pittsburgh XPlosion CBA basketball game, courtesy of Dennis at Pittblather.com:

"A buddy of mine came into town last weekend and wanted to see the Petersen Events Center since he has not yet been in it. We didn't have tickets to the Pitt-USF game on Sunday but when we found that the Xplosion would be there Saturday night we used it as our ticket to show him the building.

I felt bad for him that he's never been able to experience the place during a "real game" when Pitt plays a Big East team. The attendance on Saturday night was probably somewhere around 200 (300 tops) and most of that 200 was composed of the 50 or so family members that came along with the 10 year old girl who sand the national anthem. By the way, she had a hell of a voice but she managed to drag it out for about 5 minutes.

We sat in the courtside seats (general admission tickets + us getting there somewhat early = damn good seats) and it was pretty neat to be able to walk right onto the court that a top 10 team such as Pitt plays on. The amazing seats also made the game a little easier to get in to.

West Virginia's finest, one Mr. Kevin Pittsnogle, is the Xplosion's main attraction. It was easy to tell he has trouble getting pumped for these game; when the team was jumping around right before tipoff he just stood there on the outside of the circle. I guess in the times he'd been here the last few years the place had a little better of an atmosphere. Kevin is just as odd and goofy looking as you see him on TV.

The actual game was sloppy but there were a few cool dunks. I actually figured this would be a little more like a Harlem Globetrotters game but it was a real basketball game. In this particular case, they held the lead for most of the game (which I don't think happens often) before giving up a game tying three pointer with about 2 seconds left and then proceeded to lose badly in overtime. Not very hard to see why they're 1-14.

Overall, I'd do it again just to sit that close to the court at the Pete (or Mellon Arena) for the $5 they charged me. Maybe someday they'll sign a former Pitt player and so I won't feel forced to go.

Pictures can be found here (sorry about the quality of some of them, I'm not much of a photographer and the camera I had wasn't great)"

http://picasaweb.google.com/d.oneil09/XplosionGame

Don't forget to email your interesting links and thoughts to mondesishouse@gmail.com. Of all the submissions I receive, I'll send a random winner a cool prize each Monday.

Catching Up, Yet Again

Now that the holiday season is over, it's time to get back to work. Of course, that means recapping four days of sports into one neat little post, but I'll try my best...

Steelers 23, Bengals 17- If this turns out to be Bill Cowher's last game roaming the Steeler sidelines, it was a fitting exit to a great era. In what has been one of the most uninspiring NFL seasons in recent memory, this game stood out as very exciting, coming close to, if not achieving, "instant classic" status. We had big plays, lead changes, big hits, and loads of drama. And the Steelers won to boot, crawling back to a .500 season in the process.

Mr. Bill's postgame press conference sounded like a man who thought he wanted to walk away, yet truly enjoyed the game he just won. During the game, he showed the emotion that didn't seem to be there in 2006, especially in chewing out Willie Colon. He successfully played "ice the kicker" with Shayne Graham, which he greatly enjoyed. And he left that tiny window of doubt open that maybe he would stay on. But according to Ed Bouchette, that window is all but closed.

Regardless of the disappointment that was the Steelers' title defense, it was an enjoyable finale.

My highlights:

1. Santonio Holmes' 67-yard "walk-off" overtime TD. For a young man who had a roller coaster season, I'm glad he went into 2007 on an up note. And the play broke the Bengals' backs in the process. Even better.

2. James Harrison's upside-down slam, which resulted in a 15-yard penalty. Silverback is developing a rep for the December bodyslam in a rival game. He just makes things happen, period.

3. Anthony Smith's hit on T.J. Houshmandzadeh. Breathtaking.

4. Fast William Parker's 134 yards and 2 TDs, breaking Louis Lipps' team record with 16 for the season. Nice atonement for the fumble with a score on the next drive. FWP finished with 1,494 yards rushing for the season.

5. James Farrior's bone-jarring tackle of Carson Palmer, also resulting in a 15-yard penalty. Well worth it.

6. Ike Taylor starting the last game. Given all the cash the Steelers forked over for Taylor, he's a player you want to go into the offseason on a positive.

7. Jeff Reed hits a big field goal, and manages to keep his weiner in his pants in the process.

8. Shayne Graham's 39-yard miss in the last minute. Do you realize the Bengals lost in Denver on a botched PAT and then lost to the Steelers on a missed 39 yarder? If this team has competent special teams, that's a two-game swing by itself.

So Cincy will join the Steelers in watching mediocre teams like the Jets and Giants in the 2006 playoffs, and they can both look in the mirror for all the reasons they aren't participating. As much as I enjoyed the Steelers' win, this could have easily been yet another loss in typical '06 Steeler fashion. The Parker fumbled en route to the end zone and subsequent Chris Henry TD catch was the season in a nutshell. I heard some of the Mark Madden & Stan Savran postgame show, and Savran gave a stat that blew my mind: this year's Steelers had 10 red zone turnovers. Last year, how many red zone turnovers did they have? One. This was a sloppy, unfocused team, and sloppy, unfocused teams finish 8-8. I'm glad this season is over.

USC 32, Michigan 18- So much for Michigan claming they deserved a shot at the National Championship. They were thoroughly outclassed by the Trojans, who look to be the early favorites in 2007. I enjoyed Brent Musberger's analysis of the pending Lloyd Carr criticism, listing bloggers among those lining up to verbally flog the Wolverine coach. When Brent Musberger acknowledges you, you've officially arrived.

Dick Hoak retires- After 45 years with the Steelers, Dick Hoak is finally hanging it up at age 67. Upon hearing the news, Joe Paterno phoned Hoak and called him a pansy.

Bob Knight sets the record- The controversial coach won his NCAA-record 880th game, edging New Mexico, 70-68. The postgame included a playing of Frank Sinatra's My Way. He then tossed a folding chair onto the court.

Jim Mora Fired- The Coach Killer claims another victim. Now Mora can pursue Tyrone Willingham's job with all his energy.

Dennis Green Fired- The Cardinals have already assembled a list to hire their next coaching failure, including Russ Grimm, Ken Whisenhunt, Bears defensive coordinator Ron Rivera, the Titans' Norm Chow, and Colts assistant head coach and quarterbacks coach Jim Caldwell.

Pittsnogle scores 42, Xplosion fall anyway- The hated Albany Patroons were definitely Pittsnogled, but managed to steal a 132-130 victory over the Pittsburgh XPlosion. If a team is struggling to find an identity in a cluttered sports market, I don't think a 1-11 record will help too much. Of course, if they can lose on a consistent basis, year-in and year-out, they may get a free stadium built. It's called the Pittsburgh Pirates Theory.

Darrent Williams killed in a drive-by: I can't imagine worse news to open the New Year. After the shooting of Joey Porter in Denver in 2003, and Williams' shooting on New Year's Eve, Denver is quickly developing a very negative reputation. The details are limited yet gory, including blood on the shirt of Javon Walker, who was a passenger in the same limo. SI has a chilling gallery from the crime scene.

XPlosion 0-7, Bucs add Diaz, 20 Best Looking Athletes, Transformers Trailer

COLLEGE HOOPS:

Big Pitt game tonight, as they travel to #15 Oklahoma State. Hopefully we get a better performance than what we saw in Buffalo or Wisconsin.

CBA:

The Pittsburgh XPlosion fall to the Indiana Alleycats, 133-107. The loss drops the XPlosion to 0-7 in the 2007-06 campaign. That owner was right. People won't respect this team until they win a championship.

MLB:
The Pirates take another big step for 2007, adding catcher Einar Diaz, who hit .225 in class AAA last season.

NBA:

Allen Iverson sits down with the Barbara Walters of ESPN, Stephen A. Smith, and says he never demanded to be traded.

Turns out that Carmelo reaffirmed his street cred...among the cowardly and girlish

NFL:

We all knew that OT Willie Colon would start for Max Starks on Sunday. Now we learn that OT Adam Terry is starting for Jonathan Ogden on Baltimore's side. Nothing like a shakeup on the O-Lines to make a Christmas Eve rivalry game a little juicier.

Dr. Z. gives us new Power Rankings...Steelers #1...I mean, #16. Forgot the "6".

ESPN tells us about the Education of Vince Young. I presume they mean his football education, and not the general intelligence that gave him that 6 on the Wonderlic test.

RANDOM FUN STUFF:

SI's Swimsuit models pick the 20 best-looking athletes in sport. Evgeni Malkin did not make the cut.

The totally awesome Transformers trailer

The always-funny Maddox gives us Five Awesomely Bad Christmas Gifts

Bonds in FLA, Littlefield Blows It, Pittsburgh Hosts Another All Star Game, NFL Draft Do-Over

MLB:

Steve Phillips interviewing Barry Bonds at the Winter Meetings was high comedy at its absolute finest. But seriously, how bizarre was it to see one of the game's all-time greats on a glorified job interview?

In ESPN's Hot Stove roundup, I see that Kenny Lofton is asking for $6 million a year. Let me get this straight...he played for a little over a million for the Buccos in 2003, now he'll be four years older, and he gets a sixfold raise?

Speaking of the Pirates, good ol' Dave Littlefield apparently killed the potential Adam LaRoche trade by dragging his feet with the Braves. Remind me, why do we care about the Pirates again?

CBA:

The Pittsburgh Xplosion, the Official Basketball Team of Mondesi's House, will be hosting the 2008 CBA All-Star Game. But my favorite quote in the article is from owner FredEx Lewis, who muses, "It's very important for us to win now so we can show people we're serious about bringing the CBA championship to Pittsburgh." I can't speak for all of you, but I know I won't take them seriously until they bring home that first championship.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL:

Feeling sorry for Mike Shula? You won't once you see that he'll be raking in $63,492.06 A MONTH starting today and lasting through January 31, 2012.
Mike doesn't have to worry about waiting tables anymore

NHL:

ESPN's Power Rankings: The Pens freefall to #21, giving the Steelers a run at who can fall lower in the fictitious rankings category.

NFL:

After Jim Mora's "Michael Vick is a coach killer" comment, he decided it would be a good idea to leave the airwaves.

I always wondered how the NFL calculated their passer ratings. After looking it up, I can only wish I was less curious. I think I need another degree to figure out how bad Rex Grossman sucks.

SI's Don Banks re-does the 2006 NFL Draft. This time, the Steelers would take Missouri "slash" WR Brad Smith (now with the Jets). I wonder, does Don Banks ever watch football, or did he win his job in a contest, like ESPN Dream Job?

NBA:

Every year, you can count on a few things in sports:

1. The Pirates having a losing record

2. The Colts winning at least 11 games and then crumbling in the playoffs

3. Terrell Owens getting too much attention

4. Kevin Garnett trade rumors

RANDOM FUN STUFF:

Conan O'Brien did a segment on new college mascots Monday night. He mentioned a fictitious website called "Hornymanatee.com", and afterwards, the suits at NBC advised him that when you mention a fake website on the air, you have to buy the domain name. Done and done. And in day one, the site had over 1.5 million page views.

Damon Wayans, first victim of the Laugh Factory's ban on N-bombs, has been banned for three months.

Farrah Fawcett, the "it" girl of the 1970s, just completed cancer treatment. A lot of people will remember Farrah for her work in Charlie's Angels. Believe it or not, I've never seen a single episode of that show. But I can say that she had a pretty funny role in the cinematic classic Cannonball Run, one of my all-time favorites.

Anyone catch that new movie Turistas? You know, the one with the trailer where the girl says, "Anyone mind if I take my top off?", then it morphs into a grizzly bloodfest? Well, the movie is supposed to take place in Brazil. And Brazil is not too thrilled about the way it has been portrayed. So it has taken to the defensive, a la Kazakhstan with Borat.

Pittsnogle XPlodes Into Pittsburgh

The Pittsburgh XPlosion, official basketball team of Mondesi's House, finally inked WVU star Kevin Pittsnogle to a contract today. So if you needed another reason to go to a game, other than the presence of former Runnin' Rebel Armon Gilliam, the Hooters Rooters, the Bomb Squad dance team, and the availability of many good seats, you now have one.

Freddie Lewis just got Pittsnogled

In addition to Pittsnogle, the XPlosion signed former Duquesne star (Duquesne star?) Bryant McAllister and former WVU/Cal U malcontent Drew Schifino. Word is they tried to sign Bryant McFadden away from the Steelers but thought Bryant McAllister sounded close enough.

The trio joins Gilliam, much-hyped video game system/basketballer Coleco Buie, and what looks like former Pitt Panthers Jaron Brown and Chris Seabrooks to form a somewhat intriguing nucleus.

Ok, guys, we'll line you up, left to right, based on your enthusiasm level of joining the Pittsburgh XPlosion. Really Excited, you stand on the left. Somewhat Enthused, you go in the middle. Totally Unamused, you take the end.

I think that we should have a Mondesi's House field trip one night to an XPlosion game. And for those of the Mondesi Nation who live in other states, I would bring along the digital camera and provide a killer recap. As killer as a recap of a CBA game you could possibly have.

The tables turned: Pittsnogle gets Potashed

The season tips off Friday, December 1 against the Albany Patroons, and the XPlosion xpect a racuous crowd of 100 for opening night. I say we start the trash talking with Patroon fans right now. Check out that enthusiastic dance team director!

No, I'm not excited to head up a CBA dance team. But at least I'm not trying to dig up dirt on a CBA team at 11:30 at night either, loser.

Borat, Steve McNair, Anchorman 2 and More

SI's Peter King is the first to jump off the Steve McNair bandwagon. It's amazing how much leeway winning buys you in the NFL. Even when those wins come against quasi-NFL teams like Cleveland, Oakland, and Tampa Bay.

The Stars and Bars are still waving at Talladega. Yahoo Sports asked 30 drivers for their opinion, and only Dale Earnhardt Jr. was willing to give them an answer.

The Ravens had to make an emergency landing in Pittsburgh last night. And no, it was not for an appendectomy.

The Pittsburgh XPlosion's schedule is out. And when they meet Butte on December 13, you can throw out the record books.

It sounds like Anchorman 2 will become a reality. Now why don't you go back to your home on Whore Island?
How much of the Charger game did Champ cover on Sunday night?

We can now say we live in a world with toaster printers.

I don't know how we made it all these years without a toaster printer

And my link of the day...I now know how many of you love Borat, because the last time I mentioned him on Mondesi's House the clicks were fast and furious. So you'll love this story that catches up with the people he duped for his new movie.
Borat says root for the Steelers. Or he will crush you.

Pittsburgh XPlosion on the Move

The Pittsburgh XPlosion, our favorite Pittsburgh professional basketball team, was apparently a franchise free agent. Today, the XPlosion announced that they have jumped ship from the ABA and joined the CBA; the same CBA run into the ground by Isiah Thomas, the same CBA that has a team called the Atlanta Krunk Wolverines.

The CBA should prepare itself for an onslaught of Hooters Rooters, Bomb-Squadders, and former Runnin' Rebels. One word of caution, prospective Bomb Squad members: a former member alleges they never pay you (link to XPlosion message board thread. Yes, such a beast exists).

By the way, the league just had the annual draft. Please do yourself a favor and check the XPlosion's picks below:

PITTSBURGH XPLOSION

(1st round, 6th pick) – Kevin Pittsnogle (Forward, 6’11”, 250) West Virginia

(2nd round 16th pick) - Kelly Whitney (Forward, 6'8", 240) Seton Hall

(3rd round, 26th pick) - Tedric Hill (Center, 6'10", 240) Gulf Coast Community College

(4th round, 37th pick) - Hassan Adams (Guard, 6'4", 220) Arizona

(5th round, 47th pick) - Jai Lewis (Forward, 6'7", 275) George Mason

(6th round, 57th pick) - Carl Krauser (Guard, 6'2", 200) Pittsburgh

That's right, Pittsnogle and Krauser on the same team. Plus the Bomb Squad and the Rooters. What more could a fan ask for?

Join the Hooters Rooters

A few weeks back, Stephon Marbury was visiting the Century III Mall to promote his new line of shoes, and your smart-mouthed host speculated that Marbury may have been signed by the Pittsburgh XPlosion. Well, the XPlosion did just sign Coleco Buie, but Marbury will be back in New York for another year of disappointing basketball with the Knicks.

While perusing the XPlosion website and checking their other links for future comedic purposes (such as a "store", filled with the five finest ABA league logo items on the planet), I stumbled on quite possibly the most absurd promotion in Pittsburgh sports history: The Pittsburgh XPlosion Hooters Rooters Bus. How this flew under the radar without comment to this point is simply unreal. This was a Blogger's Goldmine. I will let the XPlosion's website describe this experience in their own words:

"Before the game: Have dinner at your local Hooters, then ride the HOOTERS ROOTERS BUS to the game venue with the HOOTERS GIRLS!

During the game: Watch the Xplosion take on the best of the ABA in the special HOOTERS ROOTERS section with the HOOTERS GIRLS!

After the game: Ride the HOOTERS ROOTERS bus back to your local Hooters for the post-game party!"

Wow, I have about a million and one questions concerning this. Where do I begin? This is a team, that as far as their own website shows, looks like they average about 10 fans a game, with 8 of the 10 probably getting free tickets.

Any chance we can move the XPlosion to Kansas City?

So how many rabid XPlosion fans are planning an evening around not one, but TWO trips to Hooters, riding a bus with Hooters girls pretending to be interested in them, AND watching Armon Gilliam hoop it up? What does the attendance jump to, 15? Does Gilliam come back to Hooters for the post-game party and regale you with Jerry Tarkanian stories? Does anyone find it odd that this team not only has a scantily-clad "dance squad", they also have a cheering section of Hooters girls?

Most importantly- has anyone out there ever participated in this traveshamockery?

Here's some more facts you may not know about the XPlosion:

October 30, 2005 was proclaimed "Pittsburgh XPlosion Day". That Pittsburgh City Council sure has its priorities in order.
City Council was XPloding with pride last October

The XPlosion played the Steelers in an exhibition game on May 19. I've linked a photo of Louis Lipps on defense just for our devoted reader and commenting legend "Louis Lipps is My Homeboy".
Lipps inexplicably breaks into jumping jacks during the game

The XPlosion play in a division named after their owner, Freddie Lewis. Lewis played 11 seasons in the ABA and NBA and scored over 12,000 points, averaging 17 per game. He was a four-time All Star and a McKeesport High product.

The original Fred-Ex

According to their website, it sounds like the XPlosion are gearing up for season 2.0, so we'll have to keep an eye on their progress. Anyone out there who has been to an XPlosion game on on "the bus", please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section.