The Mosh Pitt: A Blueprint for Success

by Patrick Sehn

psehn29@yahoo.com

Welcome back to the Mosh Pitt, where we don’t have mid-season slumps.

Is the men’s basketball season is over?

I hope this group finds a way to gel and become a complete team in the waning days of the regular season, because right now they are certainly missing something. They found a way to come together in the wake of losing Levance Fields and Mike Cook in back to back games, so who’s to say Pitt can’t find a way to overcome adversity once again? I applaud Jamie Dixon and this coaching staff for finding a way to make this team competitive in a very difficult Big East, but let’s face it: the way they’re playing, Pitt won’t be a contender this March.

Turn this around, Pitt. I’ll even give you a simple blueprint on how to do it:

Step 1. Protect the defensive boards. Dejuan Blair and his 7 ft. wing span has been relatively consistent as far as rebounding goes, but it pretty much stops with him. During the last four games, including Wednesday night's win over Cincy, Pitt's been a train wreck under the basket. Players are finding themselves out of position when shots go up, often leaving opponents unchecked and open for rebounds. Pitt has not out-rebounded another team in over two weeks.

Step 2. Either limit the number of threes you take, or, well, make them. I have no idea why Sam Young leads the team in three point percentage, but he does. Something is wrong when your #3 guy is leading in that statistical department. Ronald Ramon is shooting just over 35% from behind the arc, and it’s not for a lack of open looks. Fields, Benjamin and Brown have been just shy of awful in this category as well, going 27%, 38% and 24% respectively. Shooting their way out of this slump isn’t going to work; driving and pulling up from shorter range might. Pitt needs to find a way to draw big men off the blocks and free up the front-court from the constant double teams they’re running into. Missing threes isn’t getting that done.

Step 3. Light a fire under Sam Young when the game is on the line. Granted, the Notre Dame game was probably already over when he missed that dunk and then took a blatant dive on an ensuing defensive possession, but has anyone else noticed he disappears or plays worse when the outcome is yet to be decided? As Lee’s Tunnel Vision pointed out a few weeks ago, and I have recently started to notice, Young is a very unemotional player.

Step 4. Keep the turnovers down. This is one area where Pitt hasn’t struggled, especially lately. Sam Young leads the team with 63 TOs, but he touches the ball on almost every Pitt possession. Ramon has turned the ball over less, which was inevitable with the return of Levance Fields. It’s encouraging to see these numbers stay low; they trail only WVU and DePaul in the Big East in that category.

Step 5. Did I mention the need to start making shots? The low amount of turnovers means you’re obviously getting some shots. Blair is as good as it gets under the boards, but he leads the league in offensive rebounds because he gets so many chances. That’s not necessarily a good thing.

Step 6. What happened to the defense? Marquette made Pitt’s defense look silly, Notre Dame put up over 50 points in one half and Cincy hit shots at a 48% clip. Only one time since Janurary has Pitt held an opponent to under 60 points, a number Pitt opponents reached with much less consistency over the last 7 years. Easier said than done, but step up on D.

None of this is groundbreaking, and most of it is fundamental. Find a way to make these things happen, and you’ll find you’ve got a pretty solid foundation to contend in March.

Football schedule released

The Panthers' 2008 football schedule was released this week. Some highlights:

--Pitt plays Notre Dame again this year in November. Here’s hoping that, unlike Tyler Palko, Pat Bostick can mind his manners during post game interviews when Pitt pulls off the win.

--I’ve been a proponent of NOT playing the Backyard Brawl over Thanksgiving weekend, and was happy to see them get away from doing that recently. Apparently, actually having students at the game didn’t appeal to Pitt or the Big East. What a joke.

--Finishing out the season with UConn is just as ridiculous. Why is the WVU game not that weekend?

--Everyone needs a cupcake or two at the beginning of the year, (except for Michigan. Zing.) and a good non-conference game or two, but Iowa? Really? If we’re gong to play a Big 10 team, let’s stop playing Michigan State and give the Iowa rivalry a rest and get a governor to force Penn State to play us, a la WVU/Marshall. Is that a viable way to renew the rivalry? Is JoePa old and senile enough that someone could trick him into scheduling Pitt? Why haven’t we tried this?

Head over to pittblather.com to get some more insight into this. They’re a great resource for all things Panther.

Who else can’t wait to see McCoy back in action next year?

OK, folks. I’m out of here. Send me some emails. Let me know how I’m doing. Until next time, Hail to Pitt.

NFL Free Agency Tracker

Here's a mid-day update on all of today's NFL free agent lunacy. Of course, there's zero Steeler news to report, other than Allen Rossum becoming a 49er. But I digress....

Signings and trades:

49ERS: QB J.T. O'Sullivan (Detroit), RB DeShaun Foster (Carolina), LB Dontarrius Thomas (Minnesota), KR Allen Rossum (Pittsburgh)

BILLS: LB Kawika Mitchell (Giants)

BROWNS: QB Derek Anderson (re-signed), DL Corey Williams (Green Bay)

BUCS: C Jeff Faine (Saints)

COWBOYS: OT Flozell Adams (re-signed)

DOLPHINS: DT Jason Ferguson (Dallas), WR David Kircus (Denver), G Justin Smiley (49ers)

FALCONS: QB Chris Redman (re-signed)

JAGUARS: QB Cleo Lemon (Miami), WR Troy Williamson (Jacksonville), WR Jerry Porter (Oakland)

JETS: DT Kris Jenkins (Panthers)

LIONS: S Dwight Smith (Minnesota)

PANTHERS: WR Mushin Muhammad (Chicago)

PATRIOTS: LB Tedy Bruschi (re-signed)

RAIDERS: DE Tommy Kelly (re-signed), T Kwame Harris (San Francisco)

REDSKINS: QB Todd Collins (re-signed)

SAINTS: LB Jonathan Vilma (Jets), DT Brian Young (re-signed), LB Mark Simoneau (re-signed)

SEAHAWKS: G Mike Wahle (Carolina)

VIKINGS: S Madieu Williams (Bengals)

And here's some pending free agent visits:

49ERS: DE Justin Smith (Bengals)

BEARS: LB Demorrio Williams (ATL)

BILLS: Marcus Stroud (Jaguars)

BUCS: RB Mewelde Moore (Vikings), CB Drayton Florence (SD), RB Aaron Stecker (Saints), DE Jimmy Wilkerson (Chiefs), TE John Gilmore (Bears), LB Demorrio Williams (ATL), WR Devery Henderson (NO)

CHIEFS: LB Demorrio Williams (ATL)

DOLPHINS: LB Calvin Pace (Cardinals), QB Josh McCown (Raiders)

EAGLES: DE Chris Clemons (Raiders), DB Asante Samuel (Eagles)

FALCONS: RB Michael Turner (Chargers)

PANTHERS: DE Tyler Brayton (Oakland)

VIKINGS: DE Justin Smith (Bengals), WR Bernard Berrian (Bears)

Information comes from ESPN.com, ESPN Hashmarks, and Profootballtalk.com

Morning Headlines

DOWN GOES HOSSA: The Penguins dropped a less-than-inspiring 5-1 decision at Boston, but the worst news is that of Marian Hossa, who sprained his MCL in his Pittsburgh debut. The injury was neatly summed up by Bruin Glen Murray:

"I don't know what happened," he said. "I turned, and we collided. We hit at the hips or the knee or something, then all I heard was, 'Oh [expletive], oh [expletive], oh [expletive].' I figured it had to be him."

DOWN GOES GORZO: Tom Gorzelanny missed his first start of the preseason against the Philadelphia Phillies because of left shoulder discomfort. Wow...Tom Verducci was right on the money on this prediction. And so soon in the season!

NATE WASHINGTON IS GOING TO GET PAID: The Steelers issued a $1.4 million tender for the greatest thing to ever come out of Tiffin. They also issued tenders for offensive tackle Trai Essex, guard Chris Kemoeatu, and long-snapper Greg Warren. As for linebacker Andre Frazier, "Don't let the door hit ya".

FRANTIC START TO FREE AGENCY: Not in Pittsburgh, of course. But there have been several deals done already, such as the Dolphins giving a five-year, $25 million deal to 49ers guard Justin Smiley that included a $9 million guarantee. The 49ers responded by signing former Vikings LB Dontarrious Thomas, Lions QB J.T. O'Sullivan, Panthers RB DeShaun Foster and former Steeler KR Allen Rossum. Alan Faneca is reportedly close to a deal with the Jets, who are also close to a trade for Carolina's Kris Jenkins.

1 IN EVERY 100 IN US IN JAIL: And leading the charge is Pennsylvania, who had the largest prison population growth in the Northeast last year.

GOVERNATOR GIVING KIDS TANK RIDES: Arnold Schwarzenegger owns an Austrian army tank which he's having shipped to Cali so that he can offer rides to school children. Are you listening, Ed Rendell?

The News

--The PG's Gene Collier remembers Myron Cope.

--Looking for Myron soundbites? This is your ultimate destination.

--And here's Myron's favorite Three Rivers Stadium memories.

--It was close, but Pitt edged Cincinnati, 73-67, locking in their seventh consecutive 20-win season. Highlights included Terrible Towels in honor of Myron Cope and a disgusting windmill dunk by Sam Young:

--The Steelers have some decisions to make on a few RFAs, including Chris Kemoeatu, Greg Warren, Nate Washington, Trai Essex, and Andre Frazier. Because if anyone deserves a raise, it's Nate Washington.

--The lines for tonight's Pens-Bruins game are in, and it's going to be Hossa-Malone-Staal.

--Speaking of the Pens, why are Penguin fans confused right now?

--Robert Morris can lock up the Northeast Conference title tonight with a win at Sacred Heart.

--A man blinded by an explosion has his sight restored after doctors insert his son's tooth in his eye.

--The $3 million bid for the Record Rama archives turned out to be a fraud. Fake $3 million bid? On eBay? Get outta here!

--Gennifer Flowers is auctioning her Bill Clinton tapes. The fake buyer of the Record Rama archives is said to be interested.

--Why is the No. 2 album in the country not being recognized by Billboard magazine?

A LIST OF TODAY'S TOP LISTS

5 Books That Can Actually Make You Stupider

5 lucrative jobs that break out of the cubicle

The Most Baffling Theme Parks From Around the World

Actors who turned down career-making roles

The Gruesome Origins of 5 Popular Fairy Tales

20 Tacky Religious Products Guaranteed to Anger God

5 Body Mysteries Explained

5 Books That Can Actually Make You Stupider

The 20 greatest TV show intros of all-time

Backyard Scrawler: Scouting Combine is No Beauty Contest

by The Backyard Scrawler

backyardscrawl@gmail.com

The NFL Combine is the one week when general managers leave the film room –– after looking at NFL hopefuls’ “body of work” –– and take a long look at the players’ actual bodies. Throw in a motor-skill rally and a few Double Dare physical challenges and you have yourself the NFL Scouting Combine.

The trees of this spectacle are the evaluation of players, but the forest, well, looking at this event from afar can seem rather farcical. Ed Bouchette compared the event in last week’s Post-Gazette to a kennel club dog show only without a Best in Show award. Kansas City Chiefs coach Herm Edwards, while lounging in his 40-yard line seat during the NFL Network’s wall-to-wall telecast, compared the event to the swimsuit competition of a beauty pageant.

The titillating commentary was borderline homoerotic. No, make that a standing broad jump over that line. A jaw-dropped Jamie Dukes did his best Kevin Arnold-gawking-at-Winnie Cooper line (“… and look at the body on this guy”) when Kellen Davis of Michigan State stepped up to the vertical jump platform. Michael Silver of Yahoo! Sports fetched some good quotes from the Market’s finest Meat in his column about the televised weigh-ins: “I felt like I was a model for Fruit of the Loom,” said former USC offensive lineman Chilo Rachal. “I don’t care if they want to (talk about my butt), as long as they don’t touch me in that way,” said ex-UTEP tackle Oniel Cousins.

All in all, the last “sporting event” in RCA Dome history was fun to watch. Perhaps having a Hulk Hogan-type sideline reporter force the players into awkward moments of American Gladiator trash talk would help. As far as the information value, you would think with 430 media members, 1,900 team personnel and 334 players present we’d all have a unified Mock Drafts after this week (more on that later). Instead, we’ll have to wait to see where free agents land as well as where potential draftees slide on the Arabus of “stock rising” or “stock falling.”

Here are a few notes and musings from watching the NFL Combine and scouring a few draft web sites:

Darren McFadden, who ran a 4.27 in the 40, is doing his best to prove to everyone that he is the next Travis Henry.

Bill Polian prescribes to the Mo’ Draft Picks, Mo’ Problems axiom.

Perhaps Combine-snub and former WVU defensive lineman Keilen Dykes was not invited for fear that Rich Eisen, at his wife’s request, would have to use the same dirty word that got his scantily-clad e-mail buddy in trouble.

After watching the NFL Network gush over Marshall Faulk during last season’s Steelers-Rams game, the Faulk lovefest continued over the weekend when he made an appearance on set complete with footage of his first game played in the RCA Dome. (The only thing Faulk brought was a mildly funny Price is Right reference when calling a player-on-the-rise a “Yodeler.”)

Steelers director of football operations Kevin Colbert is not the most revealing sound bite (take his first-round mantra of “anyone except a quarterback or a tight end” the last two years). However, some interesting Colbert blurbs appeared on the web:

NFLdraftscout.com asked him about draft mistakes: “Usually when we go back and try to figure out why a certain player failed or try to find a commonality, it’s usually something we knew about and we took the player anyway.” Colbert also told Rivals.com about what he looks for in a quarterback and why he doesn’t even remember what Big Ben did in his Combine workout.

I got a kick out of how Mike Mayock, the Mel Kiper of the NFL Combine, totally pigeonholed every player at the Combine with positive/negative labels that scrolled at the bottom of the screen during the NFL Network telecast. For example, “Chris Williams, OT, Vanderbilt: Positive: Finesse Blocker / Negative: Needs to Get Physical.” That could be the worse thing to call any lineman, but Mayock still raved about him.

Here are some of my favorite of the “Positive” variety …

Branden Albert: “Specimen”

Roy Schuening: “Good in a Phonebooth” (This guy may by Superman but he sure looked like

John Belushi from Animal House at the Combine.)

Trevor Laws: “Energizer Bunny”

Curtis Lofton: “Downhill Thumper”

Calais Campbell: “Vines for Arms” (Didn’t he play in Little Shop of Horrors?)

Phillip Merling: “Complete Player” (Then why was there a negative?)

Matt Ryan: “Off-the-Chart Intangibles” (This is either redundant or illogical since only tangibles can be charted.)

Kory Lichtensteiger: “Nasty Attitude”

Dustin Keller: “Rocked-Up WR”

Tyrell Johnson: “Tough-in-the-Box SS” (His girlfriend would call that a negative)

… And here are some amusing “Negatives”

Ryan Clady: “Hand Placement” (Needs to practice on that Twister mat)

Darren McFadden: “Legs Dead on Contact”

Sedrick Ellis: “Gets Washed Easily”

Kenny Phillips: “Not Ed Reed”

Curtis Lofton: “Short & Tight-Hipped” (Also a big no-no in the Amish community for child-rearing)

Xavier Abidi: “P.O.A. Issues” (This means Point Of Attack but for some players this could mean Power Of Attorney)

For those wondering who the Draftnik “experts” think the Steelers are going to take in the first round, it’s anybody’s guess. In sampling 25 draft web sites –– and I’m sure there are plenty more –– the resounding opinion is offensive tackle. While some haven’t been updated since the Max Starks news broke, here are the picks. Take them for what little they are worth:

Six for Branden Albert, OG/OT, Virginia:

(nfldraftcountdown.com, nflsmackdown.com, eastcoastsportsnews.com, prodraftguide.com, nfldraftdog.com, draftheadquarters.com).

Five for Chris Williams, OT, Vanderbilt: (thefootballexpert.com, footballthoughts.com, insidetheeagles.com, qisports.com, condraft.com).

Four for Jeff Otah, OT, Pitt (fftoolbox.com, scout.com, walterfootball.com, draftinsiders.com).

Some others include Miami DE Calais Campbell (draftking.com, mynfldraft.com, phinphanatic.com), Arkansas RB Felix Jones (nfldraftblitz.com), USC OT Sam Baker (nfldraftscout.com), USC OLB Keith Rivers (draftace.com), Boise State OT Ryan Clady (draftking.com), LSU DE Tyson Jackson (warroomreport.com).

We’ll have more coverage of “Who the Steelers are Going to Draft” in future posts once the remaining stool samples from the Combine are thoroughly analyzed.

R.I.P, Myron Cope

Here is the "simulcast" of the Myron Cope article I wrote for Deadspin this morning:

Steeler fans around the world will be hanging their Terrible Towels at half mast today, as legendary broadcaster Myron Cope passed away at the age of 79. Cope was the Steelers' color commentator from 1970-2004 and became the first pro football broadcaster to be elected to the National Radio Hall of Fame in 2005.

Best known for his catchphrases, Cope had many of them: There was "Mmm-Hah!", "Okel Dokel" and his most famous, "Yoi!" (often "Double Yoi" or "Triple Yoi" in a moment of great excitement). In addition to being the creator of the Terrible Towel in 1975, Cope also fancied himself at the nickname game, popularizing "The Bus" for Jerome Bettis and creating "Slash" for Kordell Stewart. His radio show was also credited with making the phrase "Immaculate Reception" a household term. Think of him as a more likable version of Chris Berman, sans YouTube videos and "You're With Me, Leather" stories.

As much as Steeler fans will miss the playful side of Myron, it's the serious side that will leave an equal void. Cope's son Daniel was born with autism and has battled it his entire life, confined to an institution that can fulfill his special needs. So in 1996, Cope made the decision to contribute his ownership of the Terrible Towel trademarks to the Allegheny Valley School, a Pittsburgh institution that provides care for more than 900 mentally and physically disabled individuals. Proceeds from towel sales have helped raise over $1 million for the school.

Football is always taken a little too seriously in Pittsburgh, so when the voice of 35 years no longer walks among us, trust me, it is a huge loss. And while the Steelers family has suffered numerous losses in the last few years (most recently Ernie Holmes), Cope's death would probably rank as the biggest loss since the passing of founder Art Rooney in 1988. Although I was only 11 years old at that time, I can remember The Chief's passing being treated with the same reverance as the death of a pope. Expect something along those lines for Cope.

I realize that I'm known for a sarcastic take on Pittsburgh sports, but in all honesty, I'm having a hard time showing anything but sadness when discussing this news. Yes, he was goofy and he was schticky, but he was our goofy and schticky guy. He was a Yinzer through and through. He epitomized the city of Pittsburgh and connected with the vast majority of Steeler Nation. His nasal delivery, his nicknames, his catchphrases...they would all be looked at as pure filler today. But somehow he was able to pull it off, and for 35 years at that.

His influence on the Steelers and pro sports in general cannot be discounted. Yes, the Terrible Towel was a gimmick, but now it's copied on some level (and poorly, I might add) by countless teams during a playoff run. And at least Myron's version is doing some good for people.

Our city has a lot going on right now. We have a college basketball team with an RPI of 26 who's knocked off Georgetown and Duke. We have a Stanley Cup-contending team who just picked up a hired gun for the stretch run. But despite all of that, today the legendary Myron Cope will get his much-deserved final turn in the spotlight. We'll miss you, Myron.

BREAKING: Myron Cope Passes Away at 79

Myron Cope, legendary Pittsburgh Steeler broadcaster and creator of the Terrible Towel has just passed away at the age of 79 from respiratory failure. Much more coverage to follow on the passing of this Pittsburgh icon. He will be greatly missed.

RELATED:

Sportscaster Myron Cope Passes Away [KDKA]

Legendary broadcaster Myron Cope dies at 79 [PG]

Myron Cope Dead at 79 [Trib]

Myron Cope [Wikipedia]

Koz: The Dust Settles

by Koz

koz@insightbb.com

The Dust Settles – Reviewing the Eastern Conference after the NHL trade deadline

The trade deadline has passed. With everyone set for the playoff run, let's look where the Pens fit in with the rest of the Eastern Conference and I'll give my grades for deadline day.

The “Cellars” - Tampa (B), Atlanta (B), Florida (D), Toronto (C)

These teams all pretty much waved the white flag as of 3 pm on Tuesday and for good reason, they're already out of it. Tampa chose to keep Dan Boyle (smart) and dealt former Conn Smythe winner Brad Richards to Dallas in the West (good for us) in a multi-player deal. In return Tampa got the most prolific shootout scorer in NHL history, Jussi Jokinen, and Mike Smith, who has played well in Dallas and figures to be Tampa's number one goalie in the foreseeable future.

We are all pretty familiar with what Atlanta has coming their way. I hope Mark Recchi enjoys his early summer. Florida gave up picks (mostly to Toronto) and got little in return. Toronto fans can enjoy the reality of the no-trade clause and another year without the Cup. 1967! The Leafs have loaded up on draft picks - douchebags scattered among junior teams throughout Canada eagerly await their call to don the grammatically incorrect sweater.

Checking Out – Long Island (D), Manhattan (B), Boston (C), Carolina (C), Buffalo (C)

These teams are currently in the hunt, but didn't do anything significant to build for this year's playoff run, and are not strong contenders. The Islanders are finished, as shown by their 51 shot but only two goal performance last night. They didn't do anything on D-Day but give two guys a chance at a change of scenery. The Other Marc-Andre (Bergeron) that NYI acquired in at last year's deadline was a healthy scratch in 16 games this season is now headed to Disneyland. Known felon and all-around bad guy, Chris Simon was shipped to Minnesota. I don't have any idea why anyone would have interest in him – he's practically radioactive at this point in his career.

The Rangers went in a rare direction for them and got younger. The Blue Shirts never found a place for Michigan Wolverine Al Montoya in their goaltending rotation. The much hyped Montoya had not been able to usurp Swedish supermodel Henrik Lundqvist, so he might finally get his first crack at an NHL game in Phoenix backing up Bryzgalov.

How the mighty have fallen. Last year at this time, Buffalo was terrifying. Now the team has been gutted of its top stars. Buffalo = Pittsburgh circa 2001. The good news is they still have Pominville, Roy, Miller and in the current NHL, it shouldn't take them long to jump back to the top.

When you woke up Tuesday morning, did you think the Bruins or Hurricanes were Stanley Cup contenders? Me either. When you wake up Wednesday morning, nothing will have changed.

The Movers and Shakers – Washington (A), Philadelphia (C)

Things looked bleak at the beginning of the week, but these teams have made significant moves to put them in the hunt. The Caps are my pick to win the SouthLeast at this point. Huet adds depth at goal as it looks like Olie Kolzig has reached the end of the line. Fedorov could have good chemistry with Ovechkin and have a little resurgence now that he's back with a playoff bound team. Philadelphia's moves came prior to deadline day, officially, but Vaclav Prospal is a good pickup for them. The 10-game skid was as bad as it was going to get. They probably won't make a run for the finals, but I'd rather not face them in the playoffs. In fact, both of these teams could be dangerous in a seven game series.

The Contenders – New Jersey (B), Ottawa (B), Pittsburgh (A), Montreal (F)

Basically, it comes down to these four at the top of the East. Everyone did a good job to align themselves, except the puzzling Montreal move to go with a rookie goalie. Sure it worked for Dryden and Roy, but... is Carey Price of that caliber? I guess we'll find out. For a team with so much media attention and pressure, who has been out of the playoff limelight, I can't believe they've hamstrung themselves like this.

New Jersey just won't go away. Their addition of Bryce Salvador (was #1 in STL +/-) adds another solid defenseman. If Brodeur has it in him (and it seems that he does) they will be tough as ever.

Like the Flyers, Ottawa did their biggest dealing before deadline day. Cory Stillman and Mike Commodore add playoff character. D-Day acquisition Martin Lapointe is also in that style. But, are these guys enough to make up for the locker room plague that is Ray Emery???

On Tuesday morning, I thought about the Penguins roster and wondered if they could win the Cup with those guys. The Pens have been hot as ever lately, and all this without Crosby, but I still wasn't convinced. I was specifically concerned about Christensen's worth in a tough playoff series. You know that old saying, "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush?" Don't forget that Marian Hossa was a #1 pick (12th overall). We gave up two unknown entities (Esposito and player to be drafted later) for a surefire sniper. So then, to adapt the old adage, "a reliable, goal scoring Penguin on the roster is worth two unknowns in the draft." Pascal Dupuis should be a good third liner, who had value for Minnesota in their playoff run. Tuesday evening, in the final segment of the Mark Madden radio show, Mike Lange suggested the Pens must have some confidence in signing Hossa to a long-term deal. The trade is probably okay for the chance at a Cup this year alone, and should rank with the "Francis-Samuelsson-Jennings" deal if Shero can tie him up for the future.

RELATED FROM THE PG:
Penguins beat Islanders, 4-2: Ty Conklin overcomes team's many mistakes with 50-save gem

Penguins Q&A with Dave Molinari
Penguins make blockbuster trade
Penguins Notebook: Saying goodbye is 'weird thing,' says Armstrong

Fan Reaction: Penguins 'want to make serious run' at Stanley Cup

25 trades made in frantic finish to NHL deadline

MORE:

TSN's experts pick Ducks as team to beat [TSN]

NHL Trade Tracker [TSN]

Deals that didn't happen [ESPN]

Which deadline deals will have the most impact [ESPN]

Koz: Hossa Your Daddy?

by Koz
koz@insightbb.com

After listening to TSN all day, I was called into a 2:30 meeting at work. When I returned to my desk at 4:30, I had plenty of text messages waiting for me.

In some ways, the trade deadline went how I expected. The Pens picked up a fan favorite in the waiting, Hal Gill. Anyone who reminds the yinzers of Jack Lambert or some other Steelers linebacker is automatically overvalued in our city. Nonetheless, the Pens depth at physical defense has been addressed, but Gill isn't likely to make a huge difference either way.

Now for our featured presentation.

ARMSTRONG, CHRISTENSEN, ESPOSITO, #1 for HOSSA, DUPUIS

I love Colby Armstrong. His personality is refreshing and entertaining. His acting skills are beautifully atrocious.

That said, if Armstrong had the personality of Erik Christensen (which is meant with no offense), just about everyone would be on board with this. Like I mentioned a few weeks ago when the trade talks started swirling, you have to give to get. I was chatting with my mom about potential trades at the time and mentioned Christensen as expendable. His mercurial scoring prowess and shootout skill are enticing for trade bait. Armstrong's grit and streaky scoring outbursts also make him perfect for a deal, but his “fan favorite” status makes him seem untouchable to the Pens' loyal rooters.

As for Esposito and #1... how many young guys (and centers for that matter) can a team have? With there already being concerns about keeping 87, 71, and 11, where did we expect Esposito to fit. With the Pens looking to make a playoff run, the upcoming #1 pick is going to be late and therefore a player several years away from the NHL roster anyway.

Marian Hossa is the goal scorer we've always wished for Sidney Crosby. He's a point-per-game player for his career and could have a career year with the Pens if they sign him for future years.
This is a great deal. What are your concerns? I'll address them.

Erik Christensen is so awesome at the shootout! -- It's pathetic for a team with the top two players IN THE ENTIRE LEAGUE to be concerned about a shootout specialist. While Sid and Geno could perform better, we also have Ruutu, Sykora, Staal, Letang... and oh yeah.... MARIAN FREAKIN' HOSSA who is 34.5% in his shootout career. Of course, shootouts don't come into play in the playoffs, but you already know that. I don't think shootout specialists can be ignored, but the team is well beyond deep in this area.

Colby Armstrong is Sid's best friend! - They are both professionals. While I'm sure it will be emotional for the Pens to lose Army, you have to give to get.

Armstrong is a good penalty killer/physical presence! - It looks like Therrien is giving some of the top guys a chance on the penalty kill. Staal, Malone, and Talbot are still three top penalty killers for the Pens, and it's not like the unit was on fire with Army anyway.

The Pens still have plenty of physical forwards with Malone, Laraque, and Roberts (if he can get over the dreaded H.A.S.).

We gave up too much! - When people say this, I assume you are referring to prospects and draft picks. The Penguins already have their top three centers who are college-aged young men. The Penguins are poised to win in the here and now. You can only have so many teenagers on your roster.

Who the hell is Pascal Dupuis? - Dupuis played with three different teams last year. But before that, he put up some decent numbers with Minnesota. He'll likely fill a third line spot. He can play on the roster now and will see some resurgence in his numbers now that he's in a better situation.

Marian Hossa sucked in the playoffs last year! - That's a bit of a small sample, don'tcha think? Most of the Penguins sucked in last year's playoffs too. In longer playoff runs with Ottawa, Hossa had 16 points in 18 games in 2003, and 10 points in 12 games in 2002. I'm not worried.

More trade reactions to come later, including perspectives on other moves in the Eastern Conference.

Meet Another New Penguin...Actually, Two More

MARIAN HOSSA

6'1", 210, 29 Years Old

RIGHT WING

26 GOALS - 30 ASSISTS

In a deal that will be debated heavily in the near future, the Penguins ended the day in grand fashion by sending Erik Christensen, Colby Armstrong, Angelo Esposito and a #1 draft pick to the Thrashers for RW Marian Hossa and LW Pascal Dupuis. Early thoughts? It's exactly the kind of bold move that a team needs to take to win a championship.

Marian Hossa [NHL.com]

Marian Hossa [Wikipedia]

Pascal Dupuis [NHL.com]

Pascal Dupuis [Wikipedia]

Some instant ESPN.com analysis:

Russo (2:58 p.m. ET): As you saw first hand, Sidney Crosby worked well with Armstrong, on and off the ice. Does this hurt the team's chemistry?

Burnside (3:05 p.m. ET): That's a very valid point. Armstrong and Crosby were best buddies. But if there's a player that's focused on doing only one thing and that's winning, that's Crosby. Don't think it's an issue.

Meet Your Newest Penguin

HAL GILL

6'7", 250, 32 Years Old

DEFENSEMAN

2 GOALS - 18 ASSISTS - 52 PENALTY MINUTES

Ray Shero finally pulled the trigger on Deadline Tuesday, hawking a 2nd and 5th round pick to the Toronto Maple Leafs for defenseman Hal Gill, shown above hitting Sidney Crosby in the face and shown in the video below roughing up Colby Armstrong.

Hal Gill [NHL.com]

Hal Gill [Wikipedia]

Follow the Trades

There's no Penguin action to report...yet. But here are a few links to follow today's trade deadline action:

From TSN.ca:

Watch TradeCentre 08 Live Now
Launch Live Trade Tracker
Deadline Day Trades
Jay Onrait's TC08 Blog
Scott Cullen's Fantasy Hockey Blog

From ESPN.com:

Live Trade Blog

AJ: The Ballad of Cotton Eyed Joe

by A.J.

from 105.9 The X

October 15, 2000 – The Pittsburgh Steelers are playing host to the division rival Cincinnati Bengals in what would be the last meeting between these two teams at Three Rivers Stadium. While blocking on a running play in the 4th quarter, Steelers fullback Jon Witman breaks his leg. As he lies riving in pain on the hard Three Rivers turf, a decision had to be made in a room high above the playing field.

In the sound booth of most NFL stadiums, the home team employs what is called an in-game entertainment team. In its simplest form, this team usually consists of an A.V guy who presses the buttons and plays the music and one or more spotters to help the A.V. guy with situational elements. For instance, say the Steelers defense has the opposing team in a 3rd and 19 situation. The sound crew might crank up the “DEE-FENSE” chant to alert Tyrone Carter that it is now the opportune time to miss a tackle and allow a first down.

I’d like to imagine that when Jon Witman went down on that fall day back in 2000, the conversation between the spotter and the A.V. guy went something like this:

Spotter: “Uh oh… looks like our white guy got hurt.”
A.V Guy: “Mark Bruener is injured?”
Spotter: “No… the other one. Better get ready to kill some time.”

Personally, I couldn’t imagine a worse situation to be in if I were Jon Witman. Here he was coming off of the 1999 season where the critics placed much of the blame of an anemic Pittsburgh rushing attack squarely on his shoulders. Waiting in the wings to take his roster spot was a young rookie named Dan Kreider. Now, here he was lying flat on his back with a season ending injury. How could things possibly get worse?

Cue: “Cotton Eyed Joe”

Talk about rubbing salt in the wound. Apparently, the best that our friends running the sound system could come up with to lift the spirits of the crowd while they brought in the stretcher, was the musical gem called “Cotton Eyed Joe”. Nothing says “get well soon” like a techno dance remix that’s heavy on the fiddle.

The Steelers aren’t the only local team guilty of going to the Cotton-Eyed well. The loud speakers at both PNC Park and Mellon Arena are known to crank up this hillbilly hymn and nothing ruins my game-going experience faster. My disdain for this turd-burger of a song probably stems from a former college roommate who had horrible taste in music and a penchant for playing the worst songs from his collection of Jock Jams CDs on repeat. Not only was “Cotton Eye Joe” a dorm room favorite of his, but it’s been a favorite of stadium and arena sound systems nationwide for over a decade. I could never figure out the appeal as “Cotton Eye Joe” is simply painful to my ears, but I suppose there is no accounting for what drives the average sports fan to get up and dance (although here’s a hint, it costs approximately 8 bucks a cup).

The dance version of “Cotton Eye Joe” was recorded in 1994 by a Swedish group called Rednex. These Swedes thought it would be funny to mix house music with country music, but unfortunately the rest of the world didn’t get the joke. Instead, the song became an international hit. While I’ve never been much of a country music fan, I have a general rule that fiddle music should always be performed by guys named Toby, Charlie, Hank, or Billy Ray… not Sven or Janne. At the end of the day white trash always wins over eurotrash in my iPod, but this song somehow managed to strike a nerve and become a timeless arena anthem. Leading to random acts of douche-baggery such as this:

Hey… Stan Terlecki called… he wants his socks back.

Most people are unaware that the song “Cotton Eye Joe” is actually a traditional American folk song that is hundreds of years old. Let’s take a look at the lyrics in the Rednex version. Essentially, it is a chorus that is repeated over and over again:

If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eye Joe

I'd been married long time ago

Where did you come from?

Where did you go?

Where did you come from Cotton-Eye Joe?

From these lyrics we can gather that Cotton-Eye Joe is responsible for breaking up a marriage, and then apparently disappearing. Probably a smart move on Joe’s part, but it leaves many questions unanswered. Who is Joe? Where is he from? What happened with the wedding? And most importantly, where did he go? The song seems pretty confusing.

Since these lyrics date back about 200 years and the song has roots in the South, we can assume that the slave trade business was alive and well when the song was written. Cotton-eyed was a term from that era used to describe a blue-eyed black man. Slaves were sometimes referred to as Joes. So, one could assume that Cotton-Eye Joe was a blue-eyed slave. Given this information, the Rednex song starts to become questionable, but still remains relatively harmless. Realistically, cotton-eyed has also been used to describe a person with cataracts and maybe the guy’s name really was Joe. However, it is the lyrics that the Rednex decided to leave out of their version that make things genuinely creepy. Keeping in mind that the dance version simply repeats the chorus over and over, let’s take a look at some of the lyrics in the verses that have seemingly been forgotten about.

The truth about old folk songs is that many were never well documented. Instead, they were performed over the years and handed down through generations of singers. Each new performer would add lyrics and change up the verses sort of like a musical version of the telephone game. However, this particular version of “Cotton Eye Joe” shows up frequently in old recordings and song books. Here is the first verse of the song:

Way back yonder a long time ago

Daddy had a man called Cotton-eyed Joe

Blew into town on a travelin' show

Nobody danced like the Cotton-eyed Joe.

Well, that helps to clear things up a little. Looks like Daddy owned Cotton Eye Joe, and he acquired him as an entertainer when a traveling show came to town. Joe could really cut a rug. Guess this answers the question about where Joe came from.

Whenever there's a dance

All the women want to go

And they all want to dance with Cotton-Eyed Joe

Mama's at the window

Mama's at the door

She can't see nothin' but the Cotton-Eyed Joe

It looks like Joe was quite the ladies man, and mama appeared to be smitten with him. Perhaps this helps to explain why our singer is no longer married? The lyrics aren’t clear, but it appears she may have even tried to run off with Joe. But what happened to him?

Daddy held the fiddle,

He held the bow

He beat the hell out of Cotton-eyed Joe

Daddy won't say

But I think he know

Whatever happened to Cotton-eyed Joe !

Hmmm. Not exactly a happy ending for our beloved Joe.

In review; Joe, our blue eyed dancer, is described using a racial epithet for the majority of the song. He is then sold to a slave owner who makes him dance to keep the women entertained. One woman apparently likes Joe a little too much and this ticks Daddy off. Thus, he allegedly beats Joe to death with his fiddle bow.

Yep, this is the perfect song to fire up the crowd. I’m somewhat surprised that you don’t hear this played more often at NASCAR races. Perhaps that angry group of citizens from the Hill District will use this as ammunition against the new arena, but then a resident of the Hill District would actually have to attend a hockey game to hear the offending ditty.

History of the lyrics aside, we’ll probably never see “Cotton Eye Joe” go away. It’s safe to assume that the Swedish ravers who resurrected this song weren’t hip to its origins. Maybe it’s just best that the next time you’ve swilled a few too many Irons at the game and get the urge to boot scoot when they fire up that techno-fiddle, think for a minute about our friend Joe and the sacrifice that he made. Or, just think about who you might be upsetting…

MORE FROM A.J.:

1/22/2008: Pittsburgh's Rocky Past: A look back at four of his all time favorite now-defunct places to suffer permanent hearing loss in Pittsburgh

Pierogis: Top 10 Players the Pens Should Trade For

by Big Snack and Diego
pierogisnat@gmail.com

pierogisnat.blogspot.com

The NHL trade deadline, set for Tuesday afternoon, is upon us. It's an exciting time of year for Penguin fans who are excited at the prospect of grabbing some new talent for a cup run. This year, as always it seems, we're probably looking for a pure scoring winger or a tough-minded defender who can move the puck, and we decided to bring you guys a list of the 10 players we'd like to see our boys go after.

Of course, with the way we've been playing lately, who knows if Ray Shero will even make a deal; all we know is trying to figure out who's in and who's out is half the fun...

So enjoy, but keep in mind, we may or may not mention if a player has a no trade clause - it's not because we don't know, it's because it's really irrelevant since they're usually waved if the chance to join Sid and Geno presents itself, a la Gary "Pops" Roberts.

10. Tomas Kaberle - Toronto Maple Leafs

Kaberle is an interesting case right now, as he hasn't "officially" been put on the block or linked to the Pens in any of the millions of trade rumors floating around. We just happen to think he'd be a great addition to our blue line, seeing as he moves the puck well and would be a great role model for young Kris Letang. Hell, he's only 29; he could be Gonchar's replacement before Gonchar even leaves. We can never have enough guys who can skate through the neutral zone and make plays, and he can score too. His 39 points are the 12th most points for a defensemen - so he's no slouch.

9. Glen Murray - Boston Bruins

Murray has been linked to the Pens, but he would probably be a "rental" player, which is why he's so low on our list. He can definitely score, but he's old as dirt, and with our young nucleus of talent, do we really want to mortgage our future by losing a Jordan Staal or Angelo Esposito?Just throwing those names out there, we have no clue what it would take to get Murray. But for a one or maybe two year run at the Cup? I don't think so...

8. Alex Tanguay - Calgary Flames

We know this one will never happen. We do. But wouldn't you love to see him on a line with Sid the Kid? They both might top 100 points. He's a scoring winger, averaging almost a point per game for his career, and I'm sure Jarome Iginla has taught him a thing or two about physical play. He'd have to waive a no trade clause to come, and Calgary's GM would have to be smoking something, but who knows? I mean we all saw that Ricky Williams for all the Saints draft picks trade and the infamous Aramis Ramirez giveaway from the Buccos, so crazier things have happened...

7. Martin Havlat - Chicago Blackhawks

Havlat likes to get injured, "most often in the form of groin strains" (from Wiki), but he can still put the biscuit in the basket. He's also been suspended for some questionable play, which is surprising considering he's a "dangler" - someone who's known more as a skilled player then a gritty, grind it out type. The biggest concern on our part is the report we read said Jordan Staal would have to be included in any trade for him, so it's a HUGE risk for us...

6. Corey Perry - Anaheim Ducks

Perry is a youngster who is definitely on the rise. We heard this one as a second hand rumor, but we still think he'd be a great fit. He has the potential to be a great scorer (he, along with fellow young gun Ryan Getzlaf tore up the AHL after being sent down in 2006 - to the tune of 67 points between them in a combined 36 games played); and is in the same age class as Malkin and Crosby. But, like before, I would imagine the Ducks would want a king's ransom in return. You have to figure out if you like him before realizing what it would take to get him.

5. Mats Sundin - Toronto Maple Leafs

Mats Sundin is a veteran player in the NHL who spent his entire career playing in Canada. We here at PNA (not necessarily Mondesi) think that its time he move down to the good ole US of A. The Swede is kinda old and lord knows we have a lot of centers, but Sundin's talent is being wasted on a crappy Toronto team this year. Plus, it never hurts to add a 500 goal scorer (and a right handed shot) to a team thats trying to make a deep playoff run. Mats' name has been floating all over NHL trade rumor websites so chances are he is gonna be on the move come Tuesday. Why not bring the big guy (6' 5" 235 lbs) to the Burgh?

4. Mike Cammalleri - Los Angeles Kings

Cammalleri plays on the Kings, the worst team in the entire NHL. He might just be a lil guy (only 5'9"), but he's excelled despite his size. A scoring center by trade, Cammalleri has excelled this year by also been playing some left wing. At 25, he is still a young, talented player with plenty of upside. The Kings need all the help they can get as the forseeable future isn't looking to bright for their team. I think Camm would be a nice fit in the black and gold and would add energy and scoring to the Penguins.

3. JP Dumont - Nashville Predators

Although Dumont has not lived up to the expecations that go along with being a 1st round selection (he was drafted 3rd overall in 1996 by the Islanders), he's already tied his career high in goals this season with 23. So maybe he's finally finding his groove in his 9th NHL season. This late bloomer would look good skating out there on Sid the Kid's line at right wing. Coming to Pittsburgh could resurrect JP's whole career - people will love him again and he will be a really big deal and his kids will no longer be forced to live in shame.

2. Marian Hossa - Atlanta Thrashers

Hossa could be another one of those "rental players", as his contract expires at the end of the season; he will demand big money if and when hits the open market. But if the Pens make this happen, look for them to try and make him a long term piece of the puzzle (we hope). He's young, explosive and large - much like Geno, Sid and the rest of our young stars. If Shero believes the young guys can make a long playoff run he may want to pull the trigger and make this one happen. Expect things to get hot and heavy on Monday because many teams are interested in adding Hossa to their roster.

1. Jaromir Jagr - New York Rangers

This goofy Czech was already run outta the Burgh once, but he could be just the piece we're missing. He may be older, and would most certainly be a rental player, but couldn't you see him back in the black and gold, leading this team of youngsters to the top with his mullet flowing gracefully out of the back of his helmet? He's having a down year, but we're sure if he came back and practiced with his boys Bob Errey and Phil "the ole 2-9er" Bourque, he'd be back to his old self in no time. Plus, we know every bookie in the city will be happy. They've even opened up his old haunt, the bar formerly known as Pickles (now Hough's Place), where Jagr bought Sam a drink and gave his dog one too on many a night...

Well, there's our list. Feel free to tell us why these trades will or will not go through, and who we left off of here that you'd like to see don the black and gold for our playoff run in the comments section.

And remember, as always, check out Pierogi's N'At for our take on everything sports. Until next week...

Monday Morning Wrapup

--The Penguins must've watched the Pitt-Notre Dame game last week, because their three-goal lead against Ottawa evaporated just like the Panthers' 11-point second half lead against the Irish. The Senators rallied to send the game into OT, ultimately winning on a Daniel Alfredsson lamp-lighter with 3.2 seconds left in the extra period. Sens 4, Pens 3. Drive home safely.

Unfortunately, Sunday's effort was equally as heartbreaking, as Ty Conklin watched three goals whistle past him in the shootout of a 2-1 loss to San Jose. The blood-colored fluid dripping from the injured Zamboni proved to be a sign of things to come, as the Pens could only muster an Erik Christensen goal in regulation.

--Pitt continued their slide into mediocrity with a 75-73 loss against Louisville. The Cardinals became the first team to win twice at the Pete (other than Pitt, of course). Sam Young and Dejuan Blair each scored 20 for the Panthers, who dropped their third in a row for only the second time under Jamie Dixon. After a 15-2 start, the Panthers are 4-6 in their past 10. Not the way you want to enter the month of March.

--King Pryor's Jeannette Jayhawks won the WPIAL title with an 82-68 win over Beaver Falls. With 39 points, 24 rebounds, 10 blocked shots, and 6 assists, I think it's safe to say that Pryor had something to do with the victory.

--The Red Sox signed Bartolo Colon to a minor league deal, thankfully killing off any hopes of the Pirates bringing him to town.

--The PG had a great story on the 1988 Pitt Panthers and their upset loss to Vanderbilt in the tournament.

--Sidney Crosby adds "Two-Time Dapper Dan Sportsman of the Year" to his resume, while Pitt women's basketball coach Agnus Berenato wins the female honor for the second time in three years.

--Cy Young candidate Byung-Hyun Kim arrives at Pirate camp:

--New American Gladiator female champ Monica Carlson has an interesting past

Hate the Flyers?

Of course you do. Everybody does. That means you'll really enjoy this article, which outline exactly how bad things have become for our in-state rivals.

Unfortunately, I stumbled upon this photo while looking for an appropriate picture to accompany this post. Yes, that's Pittsburgh native R.J. Umberger making the jersey presentation, so I guess this is OK on some minor level. But let's just forget this ever happened.

San Jose 3, Philadelphia 1 [NHL.com]

Even Professional Athletes Are Fans [Bigbennews.com]

Thursday Night Recap

There were four important games last night for city teams, so let's start with the good and eventually work into the bad:

PENGUINS 5

CANADIENS 4

No, not even a Canadien hitting Evgeni Malkin in the groin with a hockey stick could stop the Penguins on this night. With Savran, I mean, Sabourin in goal, a 3-2 Penguin lead turned into a 4-3 Canadien lead in short order, to the surprise of no one outside of Michel Therrien. So much for showcasing the odd man out.

But the Penguins have proven time and time again that they are a resilient bunch, so it was up to Malk and Sergei Gonchar to score the tying and winning goals, sending 21,273 Canadiens fans home disappointed. Now that's a beautiful sight.

Leave it to the Simpsons to assist my attempt at humor

Penguins celebrate a Russian winner; Gonchar's 600th point polishes off Montreal [PG]

ROBERT MORRIS 69

MOUNT ST. MARY'S 66

I think Robert Morris has been mentioned once in the nearly two year history of this blog, but it's worth noting that they've now won 10 in a row. Bateko Francisco, a transfer from Fort Scott Junior College in Kansas, scored a game-high 16 points to lead the way for RMU.

Next up, the Colonials battle Wagner for first place in the Sewall Center tomorrow night. Bobby Mo (22-6) and Wagner (20-6) are tied for first with 13-2 conference records. The winner has the inside track on becoming a 16-seed in a few weeks.

Colonials earn 10th victory in a row [PG]

NOTRE DAME 82

PITT 70

If anyone wanted to learn the definition of the word "evaporation", you missed your opportunity, unless you happened to Tivo last night's Pitt game. The Panthers' 11-point lead vanished right before our eyes, as Pitt fell to 19-7, 7-6, and seventh place in the Big East.

Sam Young led the Panthers in the categories of points (20) and missed dunks (1). Dejuan Blair added 14 points and 13 rebounds as he continues to inch closer to a double-double average (11.7, 9.6). Levance Fields contributed 10 points and five assists in 25 minutes as he continues his return from injury.

There's not much more to say about this one, as it was ultimately a forgettable performance, save for the attendance of one Charlie Weis, who took up at least three seats.

Irish rally past Pitt [PG]

XAVIER 75

DUQUESNE 48

Duquesne's had a nice little run this year, but I doubt that Thursday's game will be featured in their 2007-08 highlight video. They were run out of the gym by Sean Miller's Xavier Musketeers, who are currently ranked 10th in the nation. It didn't help Duquesne's cause that they shot 30% from the field. Shawn James led the charge for the Dukes with 11 points, six rebounds and seven blocks in just 21 minutes. The Dukes fell to 16-9 and 6-6 in the A-10.

You can find a recap, live blog, and eulogy at Dukes Court.

No. 10 Musketeers outclass Dukes [PG]

The News

--Big night of sports in the Steel City: there's the Pens and Canadiens, Pitt and Notre Dame, Duquesne and Xavier, and Robert Morris vs. Mount St. Mary's. Make sure the batteries are working in your remote.

--The Steelers use the transition tag on McDonald's pitchman Max Starks.

--The World's Biggest Music Collection sold for a little more than the $3 million minimum bid this morning, to a buyer from Ireland.

--Anyone watch that Suns-Lakers game last night? It was Shaq's debut and another excuse to trot out the "Shaq vs. Kobe" storyline. But turned out to be a highly entertaining matchup, with the Lakers ultimately prevailing, 130-124. Let me repeat that: 130-124, in regulation.

--You have to admit, the Brazilian guy who got the octopus suction cups onto his arms is pretty innovative.

--It's that time of the year: Combine!

--FSU cowgirl Jenn Sterger has a new job as "The Sports Babe".

--Omar Minaya thrilled to discover David Wright’s Great-Grandmother was 1/8th Cuban

--Here's an interesting ESPN column outlining the needs of QB-deprived NFL teams.

--Meet the the North Huntingdon lady who beat her sister with a prosthetic leg, crapped in the back of a squad car, and threw ground beef at her neighbors.

--People Magazine is always a softie when it comes to overrated quarterbacks, so naturally they would prominently feature Tony Romo in this week's issue.

--Miss the lunar eclipse? I would say, "tough luck", since it's not happening again until 2010. But luckily, the PG sent a photographer into space to capture these photos:

Backyard Scrawler: Get Out of the Kitchen and Let’s Talk Sports

by The Backyard Scrawler
backyardscrawl@gmail.com

Nearly a week has gone by but no one has posted this on YouTube: some jagoff with an “Iron My Shirt” sign paraded behind the sidewalk window set of Savran on SportsBeat when the show held its annual “Ladies Night” last Friday.

OK, I lied. That only happens at presidential campaign rallies and golf protests.

However, Stan was obviously inebriated as he kept slurring the phrase “I wanna kiss you” to Karen Price of the Tribune-Review. Oh, and, right about that time Shelly Anderson of the Post-Gazette chugged a bottle of Belvedere after and screamed “F… Jesus!”

Alright, I made all that stuff up, too.

But didn’t it seem kinda silly that FSN plopped down two soft-spoken female scribes –– neither of which with a beat to cover or consistent column space –– on its set and had Stan proclaim them as “paragons of journalistic excellence”?

Nothing against Anderson or Price; Anderson is a great read in the P-G and her input on the show seemed well-informed, and Price, well, I’m sure she was good at covering the Penguins five years ago. (Price struggled to have a deliberate opinion like when Stan put her on the spot by asking her what position/player the Steelers should draft: “Umm … position … just … uh … I think the best player available.”)

I digress. Not having an on-air presence doesn’t equate to lackluster writing. It was relieving, nonetheless, not having Ron Cook grouse and dismiss every topic while reminding us of his long-in-the-tooth memory and scant salary.

But here’s my point: This has nothing to do with the aptitude or charisma of Anderson or Price, but instead their appearance on Savran SportsBeat has everything to do with the lack of female –– or at least freshened –– voices in Pittsburgh’s sports media. Is this all we’ve got for an alternative?

As prescribed by Anderson with her “a goal is a goal, a ringer is a ringer” comment, straight news reporting is gender neutral. There is no female perspective. But when it comes to on-air personalities and the voices in column-writing, having diverse, well-informed perspectives do matter. It improves the overall sports discourse in this town. Heck, even the Dominion Post in culturally-inept Morgantown recently hired a young, female Asian writer as its WVU football columnist.

The collective press box in Pittsburgh for the most part is tired and cranky. The writers/call-in talk show guests are hackneyed, irritated and seem aching for a post-deadline drink. Even their younger versions seem like grumpy-old-men-in-training. Of course you are also going to have your obligatory well-groomed talking heads (yawn) and unpolished ex-athletes (yeah, we know, you played). Maybe that’s why sports fans in this town cling to Stan Savran for perspective.

The female Pittsburgh sports fan is prevalent: evidence indicates that the Steelers have the largest female fan base in the NFL and, trust me, the crowds at Pirates and Pens games are no sausage parties either. So why no females reporting?

Maybe this whole diatribe is a plea for Trenni Kusnierek to leave her Laverne & Shirley-watching, beer-brewing and sausage-racing homeland and come back to Pittsburgh. But, ladies, this can only confirm one if not all of the following three theories about female sports fans and the resulting lack of female sports journalists in this town:

1. Pittsburgh women aren’t really sports fans, they only go to the games because it’s the only socially significant thing this town has to offer. Let’s face it, it’s not Hollywood.

2. Women’s periods really do attract bears to the newsroom.

3. Sally Wiggin’s prodding banter will do just fine, thank you very much.