The NFL Combine is the one week when general managers leave the film room –– after looking at NFL hopefuls’ “body of work” –– and take a long look at the players’ actual bodies. Throw in a motor-skill rally and a few Double Dare physical challenges and you have yourself the NFL Scouting Combine.
The trees of this spectacle are the evaluation of players, but the forest, well, looking at this event from afar can seem rather farcical. Ed Bouchette compared the event in last week’s Post-Gazette to a kennel club dog show only without a Best in Show award. Kansas City Chiefs coach Herm Edwards, while lounging in his 40-yard line seat during the NFL Network’s wall-to-wall telecast, compared the event to the swimsuit competition of a beauty pageant.
Perhaps Combine-snub and former WVU defensive lineman Keilen Dykes was not invited for fear that Rich Eisen, at his wife’s request, would have to use the same dirty word that got his scantily-clad e-mail buddy in trouble.
After watching the NFL Network gush over Marshall Faulk during last season’s Steelers-Rams game, the Faulk lovefest continued over the weekend when he made an appearance on set complete with footage of his first game played in the RCA Dome. (The only thing Faulk brought was a mildly funny Price is Right reference when calling a player-on-the-rise a “Yodeler.”)
Calais Campbell: “Vines for Arms” (Didn’t he play in Little Shop of Horrors?)
Phillip Merling: “Complete Player” (Then why was there a negative?)
Matt Ryan: “Off-the-Chart Intangibles” (This is either redundant or illogical since only tangibles can be charted.)
Dustin Keller: “Rocked-Up WR”
Tyrell Johnson: “Tough-in-the-Box SS” (His girlfriend would call that a negative)
… And here are some amusing “Negatives”
Ryan Clady: “Hand Placement” (Needs to practice on that Twister mat)
Darren McFadden: “Legs Dead on Contact”
Sedrick Ellis: “Gets Washed Easily”
Curtis Lofton: “Short & Tight-Hipped” (Also a big no-no in the Amish community for child-rearing)
Xavier Abidi: “P.O.A. Issues” (This means Point Of Attack but for some players this could mean Power Of Attorney)
For those wondering who the Draftnik “experts” think the Steelers are going to take in the first round, it’s anybody’s guess. In sampling 25 draft web sites –– and I’m sure there are plenty more –– the resounding opinion is offensive tackle. While some haven’t been updated since the Max Starks news broke, here are the picks. Take them for what little they are worth:
1 comment:
Thanks, Scrawler, for bringing to light the ridiculous scouting comments listed on the NFL Network's bottom line.
I only wonder if these are the kind of things our bosses write about us at work.
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