Monday Mailbag

Well, that was pretty bad. As expected, the Pens came out flying...and then were promptly grounded for the rest of the game. Hours later, I still can't find the words to describe that black hole disguised as a second period.

Other than Crosby's incredible goal, the highlights of this game were few and far between from a Penguin perspective...although Malkin absolutely losing his mind in the third period makes my personal season highlight reel. Curious time for him to go nuts for the first time in his NHL career. It was nice to see him stick up for Crosby, though.

That Maxime Talbot-Dean McAmmond fight which happened while Ottawa's Patrick Eaves lay concussed on the ice was pretty surreal as well.

I can guarantee they're not selling many Colby Armstrong jerseys in Ottawa these days, as he's battling Crosby and Gary Roberts for Enemy #1 on the Senators Most Wanted List. By the way, great article from The Ottawa Citizen chastising the Senator faithful for booing El Sid.

Yes, even the presence of Jeff Jimerson himself could not will the Penguins to a victory. By the way, are you aware that Jimerson scored an IMDB page as a result of singing the national anthem in Sudden Death?

Best movie ever?

I must add, nice work by the Pens fans who booed the Canadian national anthem at Sunday's game. You know, Canada, birthplace of Crosby, Staal, Roberts, Fleury, etc. Thanks for representing our city well, morons.

The next meeting between the Pens and Sens happens Tuesday night at 7 PM at Mellon Arena. Until then, we can debate about adding Nils Ekman and/or Alain Nasreddine to the lineup, as they're doing on the #1 Cochran Sports Showdown, which I'm listening to in the background as I type this. I'm sure that's the answer to beating Ottawa. I'll tell ya, there's nothing like listening to a bunch of sportswriters yell at each other on a Sunday night to get you ready for bed.

--Anyone else catch the Mavs-Spurs game on Sunday? I know, you don't care about the NBA, but I had to watch something before the Pens game was on. Well, Deadspin was watching, and they chronicled what I thought was totally unreal: Tim Duncan got tossed from the game for laughing.

--Where Have You Gone, Andy Van Slyke points out the huge F-you the Pirates sent to Humberto Cota by retiring Paul Waner's number...that Cota is still wearing. I know Cota sucks, and by sucks I mean "really sucks", but that's pretty cold.

--And finally, thanks to Dan at the Post-Gazette for his well-wishes in the Blog N Gold column over the weekend. The continued support from everyone is much appreciated through this difficult time.

Now, onto the mailbag...

--A.J. from 105.9 the X gives us a moment of levity after a solemn Penguins defeat:

"This gave me a chuckle (post-Pens debacle)....The Real Story of PacMan Jones"

This is a cartoon parody, and is simply spectacular. Set to the '60s Batman theme, with all of the Batman accessories customized to PacMan...it's off the charts. A must-watch.

--Dave F. asks,

"Which trade acquisition has been more disappointing thus far, Laraque or Laroche? The brawler who won't brawl, or the slugger who won't slug?"

Laraque has been disappointing, but I think that was predictable. He's not the first tough guy to come to Pittsburgh and suddenly think he can play without enforcing (Andre Roy, anyone?). Plus, his presence has taken a little heat off of Crosby, which is a plus.

LaRoche, on the other hand, is a perplexing call. I hear a lot of talk about how he's a slow starter, and how he'll heat up after the All-Star break. Fantastic...if he played for the Yankees or Red Sox. The Pirates are a team that needs to win, and needs to win NOW. April games should be played with September intensity.

We've already seen them parlay a 3-0 start into a current record of 4-6. And it wasn't like the Pirates were facing Nolan Ryan, Randy Johnson, and Roger Clemens in their prime. They were struggling against pitchers like Braden Looper, Russ Ortiz, and Randy Keisler. The only break they caught over the weekend was that the last two games were postponed. Bonds might have broken the record in that time span, given the way he manhandled Pirate pitching on Friday night.

--David M. found this comment from my last mailbag interesting, when I said, "My dad is the eternal Pirate optimist. He's sold himself on so many Pirates turning into serviceable players, I've lost track. I think he lost me forever with Adam Hzydu."

David adds:

Try listening to a friend of mine who still hopes to convince me Sammy Kahlifa never really got a shot, Doug Froebel just had a hitch in his swing, Kris Benson's wife was an independent role model for women or this being the year Duffy becomes an All-Star.

I'm in his corner this year with our potential, although the lack of depth scares me. If we finish as 90 game losers again, I'll have a hard time convincing myself we're any different from Cubs fans with regards to blind expectations!

From a guy who wrote a 2007 season preview outlining 79 reasons why it's hard to root for this franchise, I may be looked at by some as a Pirate hater. Totally untrue. If anything, I'm very passionate and care about the team. If I hated the Pirates, I wouldn't talk about them at all. Don't get me wrong, there are many things I hate about what's happened with the Pirates, but they're my favorite baseball team by far.

That being said, I refuse to let myself get roped into any kind of hype until I see some consistent results on the field. In short, yes, I am the equivalent of a Cubs fan, waiting for something bad to happen. Such as losing 6 of 7 after a 3-0 start.

Also, for the record, I'm not in the "let's get to .500" camp. When we're .500 and throw our .500 Parade, we can then settle in and watch the Yankees, Red Sox, and Cardinals of the world playing in October.

--Yantanko asks,

"What's with Pirates management's boner for Jack Wilson? Doesn't he, all things considered, kind of suck?"

Good guy, keeps his nose clean, does just enough to keep most fans off his back...other than that, yeah, he kind of sucks. But he's not as bad as Humberto Cota, because they didn't retire his jersey number.

--Dirty Sanchez sends over video from the 1991 Bulls Championship, where Bob Costas refers to Michael Jordan's wife as his mother. Costas blames being covered in champagne. I'm not buying it.

--Dave from Canonsburg, PA (giving this mailbag a hat-trick of "Daves") informs me,

"Were you aware that C. Vivian Stringer was from Western PA? Do you care? Do you even know who C. Vivian Stringer is, or why she goes by the name "C. Vivian"?

1. No.

2. No.

3. No and no.

--For all you Slippery Rock women's lacrosse fans, Art C. is the bearer of bad news after their 24-1 loss to Bloomsburg:

From Slippery Rock's Online Rocket: "Only allowing 22 goals against the Falcons lowered the girl's goals against average from 23.43 down to 23.25."

That stat is like a line from the original Bad News Bears. The Bears still haven’t scored a run, but the good news is their foul balls are up. I really question if there is any value to putting a team on the field that is this over matched. Does either team benefit? It is barely a decent practice for the teams beating them. Not like they are playing teams that should out class them. These are schools in their own conference.

I'm sorry to hear that SRU's women's lacrosse team is struggling so much, but that's two women's college sports mentions in a row. Not to be cold towards women's college sports, but I can hear the readers clicking off of my site as we speak.

--Jared sends over this feature on Salomon Torres by Tim Kurkjian.

My favorite line:
"I like to be unpredictable," laughs Torres, who's blown a save and suffered a loss in his last two outings. "Next, I'm going to learn the gyroball."

--Tony from West Mifflin asks,

"Mondesi, what are your favorite television shows?"

What, you mean outside of the Fedko Fone Zone? Well, lately I've been watching a lot of Survivorman and Man vs. Wild on Discovery. They drop these guys in the middle of nowhere and they're forced to survive for a few days on their own. You know, killing their own food, making their own shelter, that kind of thing. In fact, as I'm writing this, the Man vs. Wild guy is walking through an active volcano with his boot on fire. I'm intrigued to see what he can find to eat in this episode (I later found out: an avocado). But nothing tops his diet in the "swamp" episode, where he ate a frog, turtle, and snake in consecutive days.

Other than that, it's purely highbrow stuff...South Park, Family Guy, Simpsons. I'll only watch the news if they can find a way to animate it.

--Chris from California asks,

"Any thoughts on the 2007 Steelers yet?"

Yes...and plenty. I've been waiting to tear into these guys for quite some time. I've had just about enough of Alan Faneca's opinions on who should be coaching, who should be playing, and pretty much anything else that he has an opinion on. As I've said before, if it were up to Faneca, Tommy Maddox would have been the QB in 2004. So his opinion stopped mattering a long time ago. Just block the big guy opposite you, collect your paycheck, and drive home safely.

Same for #86. I know, we're all sad Peezy is gone. Get over it. He certainly has. That's called life in the NFL, my friend. Jerome's gone, Bill's gone, Peezy's gone, Whis is gone, Russ is gone. But you're still there, and you're supposed to be a team leader. So please act like one and get behind your coach.

Last year, I watched a story about the Jets and Eric Mangini on some pregame show. Basically, no one gave a crap what Mangini said early in his tenure because he was a young guy and a first time coach. In one ear, out the other. He had to "win over" veterans like Jonathan Vilma. Exactly how many Super Bowl rings does Mr. Vilma own? That's right, as many as me. Zero. It never crossed Mr. Vilma's mind to do what he was supposed to do and just play for the guy because it was his job. Mangini had to prove he belonged. Once they started winning, more guys "bought in". I'm so glad they were able to finally give their attention to their boss.

The fat contracts of today dictate who's really in charge, because too many players simply turn it on and turn it off at will. A guy like Mike Tomlin really has an uphill battle, because he has a room full of know-it-alls who won a Super Bowl not too long ago. Mind you that these same know-it-alls couldn't put together enough of an effort to beat the Raiders last year, but trust me, they know more than Tomlin. They have to, they just won a Super Bowl. They think last year was a series of bad luck, bad breaks, bad calls, and bad officiating. I have news for the carryovers from last year's team: it was also full of bad attitudes, bad penalties, and bad efforts. Another team totally tuning out their coach...and he was the one that won the Super Bowl with them.

Let's put it this way: my expectations are not sky-high with this team for 2007. In some ways, it's like a rebuilding year. Good luck, Mike Tomlin. You'll need it.

I love Survivorman, but do you know what I love even more? Your email. As always, you can send your thoughts on anything to mondesishouse@gmail.com for the next installment. And please include your city and state if you can.

A Sincere Thank You

I just wanted to take a moment and thank the Mondesi's House readers for all of the emails I've received this week in regard to my mailbag column on Wednesday.

While at the hospital to be examined for a fall, doctors discovered a 2 cm tumor on my future mother-in-law's brain. Within just a few days, it was apparent that she would need brain surgery to remove the mass. Luckily, being from Pittsburgh, there is never a shortage of incredible doctors. She was operated on by Dr. Amin Kassam, who is basically the Michael Jordan of brain surgery. Kassam pioneered a minimally-invasive surgery to remove tumors through the nose as opposed to an incision. We were very fortunate to be paired with Dr. Kassam for this procedure.

While this is a difficult time, I am a positive person and cite all the things that I consider "lucky" in her situation, such as the minor accident that took us to the hospital, the fact that the tumor was benign and completely removed, and the excellent and timely work done by Dr. Kassam, who squeezed her in as his 6th surgery on Monday before a trip out of town.

It has certainly been a trying time for all of us, and as I mentioned the other day, that is why my postings have been few and far between of late. I know this is personal information, but at this point, this site has the feelings of a family anyway. The volume of emails I received from readers who I've never met before were staggering, especially considering they didn't know who was ill, or what their illness was. It's obvious that we have made a personal connection. I am a part of your day, and you are a part of mine.

I owe a huge thank you to Mr. John Fedko, the WPXI (Pittsburgh NBC affiliate) sports director and host of the nightly Fedko Fone Zone talk show. I have never met John, I've only mentioned him a few times on the site. But on Wednesday night, he gave his thoughts and prayers to my family during his show. I know we certainly have no shortage of media personalities that we're all critical of, but it's worth mentioning when we find one of the good guys. And John Fedko is a class act.

Once again, I thank all of you for your support, as does my family. Don't fret, there's plenty of coverage on the way as I try to get caught up, including some neat surprises this afternoon.

I'm Back

It's been a tough couple of days around here. The power outage on Tuesday was one thing, but in the meantime, I've been dealing with a very difficult illness in the family for the past two weeks. Let's just say I've become very familiar with the UPMC campus.

If you've noticed, my postings have been rather random...one here, one there, some links...no real rhyme or reason. When I've had a rare moment to post something, it's been a great distraction for me from what I've been dealing with.

When I miss an entire day (like I did on Tuesday) and see that 2,634 people visited the site that day alone, I feel like I'm letting down a tremendous amount of people. I know this little speech has absolutely nothing to do with sports, and that many of you have no interest in this and want me to get with the funny, but I felt the need to share what's been happening. That's my style. And if you've read me with any regularity, you knew that already.

Now that that's behind us, let's try to return to some level of normalcy with that long post my brother promised on my behalf.

--The power outage on Tuesday forced me to take to the road, and it landed me at my parents' house in beautiful Fayette County. This meant the first Pirate game of 2007 that I took in with my father and brother.

My dad is the eternal Pirate optimist. He's sold himself on so many Pirates turning into serviceable players, I've lost track. I think he lost me forever with Adam Hzydu. He's always a treat to watch a game with, because we usually end up debating each other for most of the game...in good fun, of course. My brother, on the other hand, has officially evolved into a fantasy baseball addict. In between commercials for the new FSN studios on the Pirate game (I believe I counted 2,000 tonight), we were treated to a few random at-bats from the big Braves-Nationals game on TBS. Hey, we gotta keep tabs on Jeff Francoeur (he had a homer and 5 RBI, for the two of you who care).

Tuesday's Pirate game was what I would call a blogger's dream/Pirate fan's nightmare. This is the kind of effort that just kills a team and their fans but gives plenty of fodder for second guessing.

THE story of the night (through seven innings, at least) was the pitching of Tom Gorzelanny. Despite the fact that he never seems to close his mouth (anyone else ever notice this?), Gorzo pitched seven innings, yielding just four hits and no runs, while striking out five, including Mr. Pooholes twice. As a reward for his effort, he was treated to watching his inept teammates fumble away the very 2-0 lead that he had worked so hard for.

Gorzo?

ESPN.com fingers Salomon Torres as the goat of the game, but I have some issues with that. This was a team collapse, from their awful manager on down. We'll start, though, with Jason Bay. Bay, by many accounts, is the foundation of the team. You would think he would have some common-sense baseball knowledge, especially being in the position I just described.

So let's set the scene: top of the 9th, Torres on for the save, 2-0 Pirates lead. Eckstein singles, Duncan walks. First and second, no one out, with an appearance by one Albert Pujols pending (he of the 19 HR at PNC Park since 2001). Pujols flies out to Bay in left field, Eckstein tags, and Bay manages a meek throw to third base, neglecting to throw the ball to second base and holding Duncan at first. So instead of having first and third, Duncan moves up to second on Bay's poor decision, and we're now faced with second and third. Might I add a hat tip to Jack Wilson for not lining up Bay for a throw to second, instead directing him to third. That's some great fundamental baseball by another "team leader".

Next up is the red-goateed Scott Spiezio, who, of course, singled to right, scoring two.

Scott Spiezio: consider sexy brought back

Tie game, but the Pirates still have a chance in the bottom of the ninth...which they promptly burn through. What, you expect Klopek to win the game?

Also, it's worth noting that Bay's brain freeze came moments after he killed an eighth-inning rally by grounding into a double play. You'd think if anyone was prepared for a cold-weather game, it would be someone from Canada, but I guess that's not the case.

So we go to extra frames, and the Pirates somehow compose themselves for a rally in the bottom of the 10th. With Big Country Eldred and Chris Duffy reaching in consecutive at-bats, the Pirates have something cooking. Two on, none out, and the heart of the order around the corner. With the 3B and 1B playing for the bunt, up steps Jack Wilson...who promptly bunts right into a fielder's choice, as Eldred is forced out at third. Mr. Tracy, any explanation for the gift of an out for no apparent reason? Continuing their unclutch evening, Freddy Sanchez struck out, and Jason Bay topped Freddy's effort by striking out in especially awful fashion. Two on, none out, and you score no runs. Sorry Buccos, but you deserved this loss. Well, everyone except Tom Gorzelanny.

--I was watching the Fedko Fone Zone after the game (which opened, yet again, with a prominent endorsement of Mondesishouse.com by host John Fedko), and a great point was made: why was Adam LaRoche starting this game instead of Eldred? LaRoche is hitting .097. He's 3-for-31. St. Louis is starting a lefty. I'm sure LaRoche will eventually get it turned around, but wouldn't tonight be a good opportunity to give Eldred some time at first? Wait, I forgot, Jim Tracy knows more than us. Scratch that idea. And remember, bunt with two on and the corner infielders in your face.

--OK, FSN, we get it: you have a new studio. I beg you, please, enough with the moving-in spot.

Seriously, I have FSN on the brain so much, I actually had the thought that Rob King's ample jawline makes him resemble Family Guy's Glenn Quagmire.

--I think the upcoming Pens-Senators series has all the makings of a classic. Bryan Murray can't seem to keep his trap shut, and apparently he hasn't learned that an angry Sidney Crosby usually means curtains for the opposition.

I like what I've seen/heard from Therrien so far, saying that "all the pressure is on the Senators". And I think the playoffs is a time when you'll really appreciate a guy like Gary Roberts, if you don't already.

Tonight, 7 PM, in Ottawa. I know you'll be watching.

--Well, it's probably time to get to your mail...here is a sampling of some of the best I've received in the past few days...

--Patrick from Denison U. was one of several who sent their thoughts on Don Kelly, the subject of last week's mailbag:

"Donny Kelly actually went to Mount Lebanon High School and is one of my best friend's older brother. He is one of the hardest workers and nicest kids I have ever been around. The entire family is sick athletically speaking. Their sister went to Quinnipiac and is the conference's all-time leading rebounder or something. Andy, my friend, can jump higher than any white kid I have ever met."

Hey, no need to sell me. I'm a fan...more for the off the field stuff, but a fan nonetheless (due to the reasons I outlined last week). The official "Don Kelly Hit Watch" has begun (so far, no, nothing yet).

But try selling his good points to some of the other Pirate-related blogs and message boards. Might be a tougher sell than ol' Mondesi.

--Becky from Parts Unknown chimed in on Large Benjamin Roethlisberger:

"Fun is great, but he already had his little tv tour this offseason and blew off half of last week's workouts playing golf in Cali. You would think that he wants to prove the naysayers wrong. His work ethic DOES suck. And if he's gonna blow off being a leader for his team, the least he could do is look happy. He looks more intersted in that freaking icecream bar than his girlfrend. Idiot. Here's to 8-8 again..."

I have many thoughts in my head about the state of the Steelers. I think that's going to be a seperate column for another day. But count Becky among the growing amount of Steelers fans questioning Big Ben's love of the game.

Personally, I don't think he's a Peyton Manning, all-day, all-night film study guy who eats, sleeps, and breathes football. Doesn't particularly look like the finest physical specimen on the planet, either. I think he's more in the category of "shows up when the lights come on", and that rubs some fans the wrong way. There's a perception that he's done more partying/travelling this offseason than after the Super Bowl, and I'm not the registrar of Roethlisberger's comings and goings (that would be this site), but I would probably agree with that.

Listen, a guy is entitled to some free time. As demanding as the NFL life is, I fully expect players to enjoy their leisure time in a non-Making-it-Rain-with-PacMan way. But coming off of a bad season by most accounts, Ben's very public offseason is going to agitate some Steeler fans. That's just reality.

*By the way, Becky included a pic of Big Ben eating an ice cream bar while in full Sean John gear, hence the reference to said "freaking icecream bar" in her email.

--Longtime reader TJ from Cleveland checked in with this:

"I went to the Cavs game last night with my sister for her b-day, and as we were walking to our seats, right in front of us was this couple. The guy was probably 6'4'', and his wife was one of the hottest women I've ever seen, ever. Anyway, the guy turns around, and its Kellen Winslow. He's lean; not as big as I thought he might be. He seemed pretty cordial; people were calling out his name and he was waving and smiling and stuff. What made me laugh though was that he was rocking a fedora; I don't know if he was going for the D-Wade look or the K-Fed look.

During the game they panned the crowd and put a picture of him at his seat on the scoreboard, which got a mixed reaction of cheers and jeers. I don't know how I'd feel about that if I was an athlete/celeb - I guess its a double-edged sword. On one hand, you just want to go to the game with as few distractions as possible, but on the other hand, when you're at that status, you just have to accept the fact that it will happen."

If I were a member of the Browns, any reaction involving cheers would have to be looked upon as a huge success, especially if I were Kellen Winslow II.

--TJ also sent along this virtual kick in the nuts to Cleveland fans: the website "God Hates Cleveland Sports". He describes it as "kind of like Mondesi's House, but for Cleveland". Hey, watch it. At least our teams win something from time to time other than the draft lottery (which we also win---cough---sidney crosby---cough---).

I know, Lebron's going to play for real now that the playoffs are ready to start. And then you can send me another recap of Kellen Winslow at the playoff game. But this time, remember, a picture of a fedora'd-KWII would be even better than a recap.

--Brad sent along the website http://www.yourtvlinks.com/:

"Has almost every tv show or cartoon one can imagine available for online viewing."

Wow...Brad really doesn't want anyone reading this site to get any work done today. But thanks for the link...cool site.

--A popular submission was anything relating to the Colin Cowherd-Thebiglead.com situation. I think Cowherd was out of line for what he did, I think he deserved disciplinary action from ESPN, and I think The Big Lead should explore possible legal angles. Great write-up from the ESPN Ombudswoman on the topic.

--PacMan, PacMan, PacMan. I received this link numerous times today. So tell me, what exactly is PacMan Jones going to do with himself over the next year? May I suggest Head Recruiter for Coach Huggins? Why not help his Alma Mater?

--A few people sent over the link from Teapot Dome Scandal entitled "LaRoche Unable to Handle Pressure of Playing in Pittsburgh". LaRoche? Heck, I'm still wondering if Jason Bay can handle the pressure.

*After you read that piece, remember, I officially declared Shawn Chacon a "True Pirate" on August 10, 2006.

--Also a popular submission: the Bob Huggins-Kansas State "reaction" article.

Best line:

"As Huggins officially changed jobs again, purple-clad fans sipped Boulevard beers, watched college baseball and quietly moved on. Kris Smith, the general manager at Kite's Bar and Grill, said Thursday night was rowdy. Some angry fans at a bar down the street tried to get screwdrivers and yank a picture of Huggins off the wall. "

Yikes. And for those of you who missed it, you may want to check out my little list of Huggins' various indesrections from last week. West Virginia...wild and wonderful.

--Bill from Pittsburgh sent this story about a PA teacher suing over a fake Myspace page created by one of his students.

--Doug thinks you should know about Carmen Electra's new naked wrestling league. No, Kurt Angle is not in it...yet.

--Sam in Mt. Lebanon sends over this montage of the Pens' 2006-07 season. The only problem: it's incomplete without Jim Balsillie's opening-night s-bomb. But seriously, some great stuff here.

--I can always count on David M. from Mississippi to provide me with some great news of the weird. We'll take you out with some of his findings of late:

2nd-hand flatulence prompts new butts-out policy

Dating website for the mentally ill

Carmen Electra has girl crush

Can't Name Their Baby "Metallica"

Memphis Belle arrested (you have to click for the pic)

The mailbag is here to stay! As always, you can send your thoughts on anything to mondesishouse@gmail.com for the next installment. And please include your city and state if you can.

Mondesi's House Reaffirms Fedko Endorsement

When I mentioned the nightly television experience known as the Fedko Fone Zone in that 3,000+ word essay yesterday, I had no idea of the impact that would ensue with the subject. John Fedko, in describing his show on the air last night, billed it as "The Fedko Fone Zone...endorsed by Mondesi's House".

Unfortunately, I was unable to watch this live, but my brother, the loyal Fedko fan who introduced me to the show, caught it and immediately gave me a call. Of course, I was thrilled at the news. I can name a decent number of Pittsburgh sports media members that are visitors to the site, and I never knew Fedko was among that group. So I certainly thank John for the on-air mention.

That being said, I am officially reaffirming my endorsement of the Fedko Fone Zone, which airs after the 11 PM news every night on PCNC. In all seriousness, if you're a fan of Mondesi's House, you'll "get" why I like the Fedko show so much. The mix of Fedko and the callers...it's unlike anything else on Pittsburgh television. It's appointment television in my household.