STEELERS (2-0) 26
BILLS (0-2) 3
Before I get into my Steeler recap, congratulations to the eventual Super Bowl XLII champions, the Cincinnati Bengals. It was a job well done on Sunday, surrendering 51 points to the mighty Cleveland Browns, a franchise so unorganized that they traded their opening-day QB just a few days after he started the season. Keep up the good work, and remember, it's not whether you win or lose, it's how you plan your touchdown celebrations.
To the angst-ridden Browns fans, enjoy this day. I guess you don't need Brady Quinn after all. And don't worry about dumping your opening day QB.
All Belichick disciples do it.
As for the Steeler game, it was far less interesting and ran exactly to the script everyone imagined. The Steelers wore throwback uniforms, the Steelers dominated on defense, the Steelers moved the ball on offense, the Steelers won the game. Game, set, match, fold up your 75th Anniversary Terrible Towel, wash off your face paint, and drive home safely. Just remember to give your keys to your sober friend. And if he happens to wreck your Bentley on the Parkway, protocol says you leave it there and run away. And by protocol I mean Lance Briggs.
With few exceptions, the Steelers have looked pretty solid through two weeks. They're winning the games they're supposed to win, which is more than you can say about Cincinnati. And after all of two weeks, they're alone on top of the AFC North. One of these days, they're actually going to get a challenging opponent. Today was not one of those days.
The story of the day on offense was Willie Parker, who ran for 126 yards on 23 carries. Of course, in Steeler analyst speak, you must exclude his 24-yard run and his 21-yard run and state that he only had 81 yards on 21 carries. But even that is a solid effort.
Large Benjamin, aside from a minor brain freeze where he was intercepted by a Buffalonian, had an efficient, 21-34, 242-yard, 1 TD performance. No, he didn't throw for 6 TDs, so he still remains a lesser QB than Carson Palmer. But a nice game nonetheless.
On to the notes...
--The Fighting Tomlins won their 500th game in team history today. They remain neck and neck with Joe Paterno in that category.
--It was a bad day for Buffalo. The Bills lose and
O.J. gets arrested. What next, allegations that Marv Levy was using spy cameras during the '90s?
--Least favorite drive of the game: the one that featured calling Carey Davis' number on first and second down.
--Your eyes did not deceive you. The Bills have a member of their training staff who is a "little person".
His name is Chris Fischetti, and he's a graduate of Penn State.
--Say what you want about the Internet's Most Famous Kicker, but without him, it's a scoreless tie at halftime. That red zone offense needs a tweak or two.
--Matt Spaeth is on pace for 16 TDs this year. He's the Cris Carter of the Steelers: all he does is catch touchdowns.
--Nice game by Hopewell and Penn State grad Paul Posluszny, with a total of 12 tackles for the Bills. But he just wouldn't be the right fit in the Steelers' defensive scheme.
--2-0 San Francisco comes to town next week. We'll get a firsthand look at fantasy wunderkind Frank Gore, freakish TE Vernon Davis, and the
small, girly hands of Alex Smith.
Around the NFL and college
--Wanny, you're killing me. You can't keep teasing me with these close games against big-time programs. With solid play at the QB position, Pitt beats Michigan State handily. With Kevan Smith...
Oh well. At least Shady is the real deal.
--Nice work by the Michigan Wolverines. This time they BEAT the I-AA team.
--Speaking of the Wolverines, they face an opponent many of you know and love next weekend, Penn State. The Nittany Lions also played a team from Buffalo this week, and the results were roughly the same as the Steelers'. So let's recap: PSU has beaten Florida International, Notre Dame, and Buffalo, three of the worst teams in D-I football. Could the Michigan game be more interesting than it looks on paper?
--Quick, whose defense is worse: the Cincinnati Bengals' or the Louisville Cardinals'?
--Look everyone, Vince Carter, I mean, Randy Moss, cares again! If there's one thing that I love, it's an athlete that tries if and when he wants to.
--I hate New England as much as the next guy, but San Diego has no shortage of loudmouths and trash talkers on their roster, none of whom back it up when it matters. This was allegedly the game that they've been waiting their entire offseason to play. Your work really paid off, guys.
--Note to Keyshawn Johnson: you can stop defending Bill Belichick now. Please. You're embarrassing yourself.
--2-0, bandwagon-in-the-making teams: Houston (HOUSTON!), Detroit (DETROIT!), Green Bay, Denver, San Francisco, Dallas, Indianapolis, New England, Pittsburgh.
--0-2, "What's wrong with ______? " teams: Buffalo, Kansas City, Atlanta, St. Louis, NY Giants, NY Jets, New Orleans, Miami, Oakland.
--Early candidate for most annoying commercial of the 2007 NFL season: iPod's "1234", narrowly edging "Viva Viagra".
