Brett Favre Retires...I Think

I know I should be covering the Cardinals' Jerame Tuman signing today, but sometimes there are other events that take precedent. One such event would be the retirement of Packers QB Brett Favre after 17 seasons of gunslinging goodness.

Favre's agent, Bus Cook (no relation to Bus Bettis), says Favre felt like the Packers didn't want him, and Pro Football Talk muses that Favre may ultimately end up in Miami. Somewhere, Aaron Rodgers waits to see if this retirement is in fact authentic.

ESPN's DJ Gallo sought out the big names in football to get their thoughts on today's big news. Everyone from Terrelle Pryor to Cal Ripken pretends to check in. It's a must read.

Packers QB Favre to retire [SI.com]

Favre tells Packers he's retiring [Milwaukee Journal Sentinel]

What they're saying about Favre [ESPN]

Rumor Mill [Pro Football Talk]

The News

Got news? Send it to mondesishouse@gmail.com.

--One of these men just signed a contract worth $102 million. One of these men just gave away $102 million. Yet they're both happy.

Somehow, I still fear that the Steelers will be haunted by the "cheap" label next year only for the fact that we don't chase after other teams' high-ticket free agents as soon as the clock strikes midnight. Feel free to call those people "ignorami".

FYI, the new deal does not specifically prohibit Roethlisberger from riding a motorcycle. It's always good to leave that door open. But I think he's learned his lesson.

By the way, why was Randy Moss' $27 million deal the headline on ESPN and SportsCenter ahead of a deal worth almost four times as much?

--In a nausea-inducing contest at Morgantown, Pitt fell to the WVU Mountaineers, 76-62, on Monday night. It was a lifeless performance from the Panthers, who dropped to 21-9, 9-8 in the process.

There wasn't much to take away from this night for a Pitt fan, other than the fact that Joe Alexander can't score any more points since the game is now over. The junior forward lit up the defense-optional Panthers for 32 points, going 10-16 from the floor.

Levance Fields led Pitt with 15 points while enduring a chorus of "Ta-ser" from WVU fans the entire night. This from a school that hired Bob Huggins. I guess West Virginians don't subscribe to the glass house theory.

Sam Young and DeJuan Blair were in foul trouble for most of the game, as Young fouled out with 7:21 to play. Young finished with 13 and four boards, while Blair added 10 and three in 22 minutes.

The Panthers finish their roller coaster regular season on Sunday versus 10-19 DePaul.

--Ben who? Tom Gorzelanny just got a $33,000 raise! As Plex used to say, "that's long cash".

--If you're a Penguins fan, you have to read this article on Ron Burkle, then try to contain your enthusiasm.

--In NFL free agent news, the Cleveland Browns continued to throw around money in a desperate attempt to become relevant, giving WR Donte Stallworth $35 million/$10 million guaranteed. Considering that this will be Stallworth's fourth stop in the last 27 months, I don't know how amped I'd be for this deal if I were a Cleveland fan. Of course, if I rooted for Cleveland teams, the Donte Stallworth signing would be the least of my problems.

The Browns also added 653 pounds of defensive linemen in the form of Shaun Rogers and Corey Williams, they inked QB Derek Anderson to a three-year deal, and they extended RB/Ex-Con Jamal Lewis for three more seasons as well. Start engraving the Lombardi Trophy tomorrow, right Brownie fans?

To add to the excitement, the Browns were already declared the "Free Agency Winner" by John Clayton, and that's always good. Don't believe me? Then let me take you back to The Professor's 2007 article:

Winners

1. San Francisco 49ers: They are on the right path. After signing cornerback Nate Clements, nose tackle Aubrayo Franklin, linebacker Tully Banta-Cain and safety Michael Lewis, the 49ers are looking more like a 3-4 defense. Franklin will help at nose tackle. Clements matches up against the top receivers on an opposing team. Lewis is a physical safety, and Banta-Cain should improve the team's speed at linebacker. Ashley Lelie will help because he's different from the other San Francisco receivers. He has speed and should be able to help in the red zone. The 49ers aren't done. They still have plenty of money and plenty of draft choices to improve their team.

Well, the 49ers were 5-11. Ashley Lelie's red zone presence added up to 10 catches and no TDs. Tully Banta-Cain had 41 tackles and 3.5 sacks. And with the signings of Clements and Lewis, San Francisco went from a defense that allowed 3,571 passing yards in 2006 to one that allowed 3,643 in 2007. We have a winner!

Clayton had the Patriots at #2, which, in all fairness, was pretty accurate. As for that third "winner"....

3. Miami Dolphins: Talk about attitude. The Dolphins have a 3-4 defense with Jason Taylor, Zach Thomas and Joey Porter. This looks like an AFC Pro Bowl team. Porter was a great signing. Taylor can get the sacks and force fumbles. Porter and Thomas can be the leaders. The other great part of Miami's offseason is that it has acquired three additional draft choices -- in the second, sixth and seventh rounds -- in trades. This franchise traded away too many draft choices over the years and needs to start getting younger. With nine draft choices in hand and good positioning in the draft, the Dolphins are off to a good start.

I won't add any more on the Dolphins blurb, as I would be called out for gratuitous piling on. But if nothing else, this proves that once again, the NFL experts have shown that they know more than us lowly fans. Clayton should just continue to look pretty and tell us about the Steelers' acquisition of T.J. Duckett that's been right around the corner for six years.

Have I excited you yet, Browns fans?

--It's official: Mewelde Moore is a Pittsburgh Steeler. The three-year deal will pay Moore $4.95 million and a $1.35 million signing bonus. Sadly, this signing did not rocket us to the #1 Free Agent Winner.

--The Trib's John Harris says people ignore athletes' good deeds. He cites examples such as Steeler LB Larry Foote, who recently paid for the funeral of a 10-year-old Detroit boy who fell through ice atop a tributary and was pulled out two days later.

--Alexander Ovechkin scored a first-period hat trick and finished with five points in the Capitals' 10-2 win over Boston.

--Robert Irvine, also known as the huge English guy on the Food Network's Dinner Impossible, was let go for apparently embellishing his resume.

--Good news for fans of Family Guy's Cleveland Brown: it looks like he's getting his own spin-off.

--A reader named Eric asked me to post this. And since I do whatever people tell me to do, here it is:

"My buddy and I are looking for table hockey players in the Pittsburgh area to form a stiga league. I participated in a Tournament in Vegas this past January and will be going to Detroit at the end of March. There are some great players across the US in particular Chicago, Detroit and New York. We would love to get something going in Pittsburgh."

If interested, you can reach Eric at eddibacco@landam.com

--Do you know your vintage WWF Action Figures? Then take this quiz. I proudly scored a 12 out of 14.

--How many of you out there have a Grover Body? You know, stick legs, noodle arms, and a gut?

A LIST OF TODAY'S TOP LISTS

Top 10 Places to Get Pizza in the Burgh

The Awful Truth Behind 5 Items Probably On Your Grocery List

The Top 25 Pieces of Movie Merchandise Too Awesome To Exist

5 Works of Art That Can Probably Kill You

THE GREATEST CONAN O'BRIEN GUEST MOMENTS

6 Terrible Cameos That Just About Ruined the Movie

6 Music Industry Tricks That Must Die

Pierogis: Top 10 Pittsburgh Movies

by Big Snack and Diego
pierogisnat@gmail.com

pierogisnat.blogspot.com

With the recent excitement of another movie being filmed in Pittsburgh (the upcoming Zack and Miri Make a Porno from Kevin Smith) and the famous comments of Sienna Miller during the 2006 shooting of The Mysteries of Pittsburgh still fresh in our minds, we decided to dedicate this week's top 10 list to movies filmed right here in the Burgh (or somewhere close). It's a little off the sports topics we usually cover, but a little pop culture never hurt anyone.

10. Deer Hunter

OK, I'm not going to lie, I've never actually "seen" this movie. However I do know that it won a gaggle of Academy Awards in 1978, was named as one of the 100 Greatest American Movies of all time, and starred the amazing Robert DeNiro and Christopher Walken. It's hard to go wrong with that combo. Throwback movies aren't usually our favorites, but it never hurts to respect your elders. Plus, Walken is the man. Period.

Who knew Bobby was a blood?

9. Robocop

Another old school movie at the bottom of the list, Robocop came out in 1987 and somehow ended up making $56 million, inspiring two more sequels and scoring nine Oscar nominations. This movie cost a paltry $13 million to make, and as you can tell, as the Robocop costume looks like something your mom made you for Halloween out of tin foil and cardboard boxes. Don't even get me started on the cheesy special effects. The funniest part about this movie is that it featured the least-scariest villain of all time: "Red" from That 70's Show. Man, that dude has been bald forever.

Rogaine didn't work for him

8. Sudden Death

The classics keep on coming here with the 1995 hockey classic/action flick Sudden Death, produced by former Penguin owner Howard Baldwin. Never again will Mellon/Civc Arena ever be featured so prominently in a Hollywood film. This starred Jean Claude Van Damme, Penguin announcers Mike Lange and Paul Steigerwald, players Jay Caufield and Luc Robitaille, and even the mascot Iceburgh (who gets to commit a felony - Go Pens!)

Gotta love the Van Damme movies, as there's always plenty of unintentional comedy that goes along with them. Plus, the 80's style kung fu or whatever it is he uses on his foes are the best martial arts this side of Stephen Segal.

The only terror in this movie is the acting

7. Kingpin

This Farrelly brothers about hustling people in bowling was an instant classic upon release in 1996. Pittsburgh was the stand-in for Scranton, Amish Country, and even Reno, Nevada. Woody "Legalize It" Harrelson plays pro bowler Roy Munson, the inspiration behind the term "Munson'd", which pretty much means getting screwed over. Randy Quaid plays an Amish bowler named Ismael and Bill Murray sticks in everyone's craw as the slimeball opponent who cost Munson his hand.

Kingpin has always managed to equally offend a wide variety of people, a staple of most Farrelly movies. Even pitching great/enemy of the state Roger Clemens makes a cameo as a redneck named Skidmark. I'm sure this was a real stretch for Roger.

I wouldn't mind Munsoning her if you know what I mean...

6. Striking Distance

Bruce Willis is one bad dude, and his filming of an action movie in the Burgh was pretty freakin' sweet. Unlike most films shot here in the city, this one was actually supposed to be Pittsburgh in the movie. In fact, its early title was Three Rivers.

Willis plays a butt-kicking river rescue cop who has a chip on his shoulder, which makes him wanna kick more butt, solve mysteries, and more unsolved murders in the Burgh. At his side was a pre-Sex in the City Sarah Jessica Parker. Professional lowlife Tom Sizemore had a supporting role, meaning monthly earnings for the girls working Liberty Avenue were up while this one was being filmed.

Hope they used a stunt double when he went in the Allegheny River.

5. Night of the Living Dead

This one was born and bred in Pittsburgh. The man who brought Night of the Living Dead to life, George Romero, went to CMU, and used a Pittsburgh based film company on the flick. He even got his start filming spots for Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood. The 1968 mega-low budget picture is one of, if not the most well known zombie flick ever made, and brought forth a series of sequels and a couple remakes, including 1978's Dawn of the Dead, shot at Monroeville Mall. It's kinda funny to watch nowadays. but it is truly a classic in every sense.

They're coming for you...

4. Dogma

Kevin Smith's foray into the world of organized religion, Dogma was criticized by the Catholic Church for portraying God in a less then appropriate way - as a mute Alanis Morissette who likes to do cartwheels and make beeping noises. We're both Catholic and we thought it was hilarious (sorry, Pope). It's a great satire about the church, but we mostly like the stupid jokes and gratuitous violence. Matt Damon and Ben Affleck also star in this as angels who were banned from heaven and sent to Earth for all eternity as a punishment. George Carlin, Chris Rock, Salma Hayek, Jason Lee, Alan Rickman and Linda Fiorentino round out this all-star cast.

Buddy Christ is the man!

3. Groundhog Day

Bill Murray stars as a TV weatherman from the Burgh who travels to Punxsutawney on Groundhog Day to see everyone's favorite rodent, Phil the Groundhog, predict the weather in this 1993 classic. The problem is, Groundhog Day keeps repeating itself over and over and over again, until Murray lives the day right and gets with Andie MacDowell (well played, old man).

It's kind of like the Pirates' seasons on a year-in and year-out basis, so it's fitting that its 1993 release has coincided with the 15 years of losing so nicely.

2. Hoffa

What's not to like about Jack Nicholson playing Jimmy Hoffa in a movie shot in Pittsburgh? This 1992 biography of the Teamsters president is a favorite of ours for two reasons: tons of violence and lots of swearing. I know, we're like 12 year olds. It was filmed all over Pittsburgh, but was actually set in Detroit. Who would have guessed that Pittsburgh would be a poor man's Detroit for the movie industry?

Nicholson steals the show, and the story follows him from his beginnings burning down businesses all the way to his disappearance. Add in a great supporting cast of Danny Devito and John C. Reilly, and you got yourself one helluva movie.

Where did you go, Jimmy Hoffa?

1. Silence of the Lambs

Academy Award winners Jodie Foster and Anthony Hopkins bring the story of psychologist/serial cannibal Dr. Hannibal Lector to life in this 1991 Best Picture Winner. This movie still sends chills down my spine 17 years later. It was one of the first horror movies I saw, which is probably is why I don't like them to this day. Much like Night of the Living Dead (and every other horror movie I know of), this movie spawned sequels and even a prequel. It's also one of the most "copied" or mocked movies of all time, with everyone from South Park to the Joe Dirt (another Snack favorite) using something from Lambs. If you've never seen it, make sure you check out the episode of South Park called Toilet Paper - it's a spoof of this and is one one of the funnier episodes in the series' history.

Honorable mention:

Inspector Gadget, Angels in the Outfield, Lorenzo's Oil, The Fish that Saved Pittsburgh, Milk Money, Flashdance, Screwed, The Mothman Prophecies, Wonder Boys, All the Right Moves, Stigmata, Rock Star.

Well, there's our list. Like always, feel free to tell us how we screwed this list up in the comments section, and until next time, remember to check out Pierogi's N'at for our opinions on any and everything.

RELATED:

Movies Made in Pittsburgh [About.com]

Movies filmed in and around Pittsburgh [Amazon.com]

Pittsburgh Film Office

Sienna Miller Hates Pittsburgh [Mondesi's House]

List of films and television shows shot in Pittsburgh [Wikipedia]

Ben Deal is Done; Steelers To Add New RB

Sources are reporting that the Steelers' extension of Ben Roethlisberger is in fact complete and it will be officially announced later today. Early numbers look like it will be an eight-year deal worth $102 million, with at least $36 million guaranteed. I was the first on the scene and grabbed the first photo of Ben after he signed the deal:

In other news of the black and gold variety, former Viking running back Mewelde Moore was in town yesterday and is expected to be signed shortly. He also flirted with Tampa Bay but that was apparently just an excuse to see that giant pirate ship of a stadium.

Moore is expected to be the primary kick and punt returner, a position also known in Pittsburgh as "revolving door". A four-year veteran, Moore was in Minnesota at the same time as Mike Tomlin, so there's a bit of history there. His career-best season was 2005 when he racked up 1,001 yards of total offense and found the end zone four times. He also has shown an affinity for standing on tables outside Barnes and Noble stores while wearing his uniform, as shown below:

Steelers reward Roethlisberger with 8-year, $102M deal [ESPN]

Mewelde Moore [Wikipedia]

Mewelde Moore [ESPN Player Card]

Morning Briefing

PENS SPLIT: Saturday was a tough 5-4 loss for the Pens at Ottawa, as Pittsburgh proved to once again be the cure that ails a slumping Daniel Alfredsson, who scored twice and added an assist. Ty Conklin looked less than stellar in goal for the Pens, and was replaced in the lineup by Marc-Andre Fleury on Sunday.

MAF certainly looked like he's back, stopping 31 shots in regulation and all three in the shootout in a 3-2 win over Atlanta on Sunday. Ryan Malone and Maxime Talbot provided the regulation offense, with Kris Letang adding the difference-maker in the shootout. Not even the shootout expertise of Erik Christensen mattered for the Second-Hand Penguins, who fell two games under .500 for the season. In addition to Christensen and Colby Armstrong (who added an assist on Sunday), Atlanta features former Pens Joel Kwiatkowski, Mark Recchi, and Chris Thorburn.

It was a memorable ending for the crowd of 17,132 (101.0% full) who also participated in a Terrible Towel-waving tribute for Myron Cope.

The Penguins moved to 37-23-7 (81 points), tied with Montreal for first in the East.

And congratulations to the Penguins fans shown who've already purchased Marian Hossa jerseys. That's a real leap of faith as a long-term investment.

PITT STEALS ONE: Someone might want to check Carrier Dome for prints, because a victory was stolen away from Syracuse on Saturday. The suspect is the Pitt Panthers, wrongly considered by some as a bubble team, who came away with an 82-77 victory over the weekend.

Jim Boeheim's Bill Cowher-esque milking of the clock backfired in a 18-2 Pitt run to close out the last 3:30 of the game, climaxing with a Syracuse fumble of the inbounds pass and subsequent Panther basket with 11 seconds remaining. Boeheim then outdid himself with a technical foul to truly ice his own team. Pitt now stands at 21-8, with two games remaining: tonight at WVU and Sunday vs. DePaul.

STEELERS, BEN NEAR DEAL: Agents Ryan and Bruce Tollner are in town to hopefully wrap up the contract extension for birthday boy Ben Roethlisberger, who has two years remaining on his rookie deal.

EUGENE WILSON TO STEELERS?: Patriots UFA Eugene Wilson, a safety/cornerback who appeared in 11 games last season, will visit the Steelers on Tuesday. A second-round pick in 2003, Wilson has 10 career interceptions. He will also visit Tennessee and Tampa Bay.

MYRON REMEMBERED: Steeler fans said "Bye, now", in a Terrible Towel-twirling tribute for Myron Cope at the City-County Building, ending in a minute of silent towel-twirling led by Dan Rooney, Allegheny County Executive Dan Onorato, and Mayor Luke Ravenstahl.

Happy Birthday, Large Benjamin

A Super Bowl victory, a Pro Bowl appearance, his own barbecue sauce, the love of Missy Peregrym and a friendship with Donald Trump. These are the things that Ben Roethlisberger has already accomplished in his 26 short years on Planet Earth. So join us in wishing a happy birthday and many more to come to the unofficial Face of the Pittsburgh Steelers and best thing to ever come from Lima, Ohio (other than Phyllis Diller, Brad Komminsk and Hugh Downs, of course).

The Trib recently outlined seven reasons why the Steelers should extend Ben's soon-expiring contract, and while he's certainly no Max Starks, I'd have to agree with their rationale. Although I can only imagine what kind of cake it's going to take to sign the big lug.

Happy Birthday Ben! [Big Ben News]

Maybe Big Ben Will Defend Donald? [Mondesishouse.com]

Ben Roethlisberger [Wikipedia]

Pirates Reduced to "All You Can Eat" Sections

When you've already tried bobbleheads, fireworks, skyblasts, and "bring your dog to the ballpark days" to spur ticket sales, there are few promotions left in the arsenal of a professional sports team. Or so you thought! The creative minds at PNC Park have a new twist for the Pittsburgh ticket-buying public: an all-you-can-eat section.

Hot dogs, hamburgers, nachos, salads, popcorn, peanuts, ice cream and soda, they're all fair game. And all this for the bargain price of $35 in advance or $40 at the gate, which is roughly the same price one would pay for the gourmet buffet at the Bellagio.

Prediction: this will be a huge success. As you may have noticed, Pittsburgh's not exactly San Diego when it comes to fitness and diet. When you offer Pirate customers the combination of endless saturated fats and all-you-can-LaRoche, who are we to resist?

Pirates Hope Nachos, Hamburgers Will Distract Fans From Bad Baseball [Bugs and Cranks]

Panthers Overpay Colclough by Approximately $4 Million

Anyone looking for a useless defensive back/butterfingered return man who was released last year? Anyone? Surprisingly, yes. The Carolina Panthers obviously had $4 million burning a hole in their pocket so they decided to blow it on Ricardo Colclough, the much-maligned former Steeler last seen in a Cleveland Browns uniform.

The Panthers have locked up Colclough's considerable services for the next two seasons, clearly making them the front-runner to represent the NFC in the 2009 Super Bowl.

Much in the same light as Jamain Stephens and Scott Shields, Colclough (pronounced Coakley, misspelled Colclough) ultimately finds himself in the category of "Forgettable Bill Cowher High-Round Draft Picks Wasted on Small School Gambles". Although he did have quite a memorable run in Mr. Bill's doghouse in 2006.

In a bitter twist of irony, it was before the Steelers-Panthers game last season where I was served fast food by a restaurant employee donning a Colclough jersey who felt that hand-washing after taking a dump was more of an option and not a necessity. That will always be my favorite Ricardo Colclough memory.

RELATED:

A Bad Night All Around [Mondesishouse.com]

Ex-Browns cornerback Colclough agrees with Panthers - NFL [ESPN]

Faneca Follows in O'Donnell's Footsteps

Following in the footsteps of heralded Steeler-turned-Jet Neil O'Donnell, Alan Faneca finally got his big payday with the New York Jets this weekend. The deal is worth $40 million over five years, with $21 million guaranteed. Showing that winning is certainly not everything, Faneca chose New York over the equally crappy St. Louis Rams, San Francisco 49ers and Arizona Cardinals. I know I'd have a hard time choosing between blocking for Alex Smith or blocking for Kellen Clemens the next five years.

There is no doubt that Faneca was a tremendous impact player during his time in Pittsburgh, but much like Bill Cowher a year ago, this exit seemed inevitable for quite some time.

Faneca joins a rebuilding Jets team that recently acquired Kris Jenkins and has the sixth pick overall in the upcoming draft. Of course, the Jets have the unfortunate luck of playing in the same division as teams run by Bill Belichick and Bill Parcells, so winning soon might not necessarily be a sure thing. Then again, there's also a team run by Ralph Wilson, the Buffalo Bills who makes Joe Paterno look like a spring chicken, so hope may spring eternal after all for the Jets.

As for the Steelers' latest financials, they're busy figuring out exactly how many millions to give Max Starks while at the same time looking for public money to use towards an entertainment complex planned near Heinz Field. We can only hope for everything to work out, as I envision a freshly-paid Starks jumping onstage at a downtown Hannah Montana concert in a few years. I'm sure the Steelers are hoping for the same.

RELATED:

Ex-Steelers guard Faneca signs with Jets [Trib]

Steelers seek public money for entertainment complex near stadium [Trib]

Seven Reasons Why the Faneca Deal Will Matter in 2008 [The Jets Blog]

My Big Mouth: Will I Still Love You Tomorrow?

by Jason Devander
jasondevander@gmail.com

Since Sunday, I haven't felt right. It wasn't a physical illness but more of an uneasiness and a sense that things weren't right in the world as I knew it.

After great soul-searching (read: 7 Yuenglings and 4 shots of Blackberry brandy), I could finally put my finger on the problem. Or, at that point since I was hammered, put my finger in the general direction of the problem.

Two things that I have loved from afar -- the wondrous creation of Jessica Alba and the wondrous collection of the Pittsburgh Penguins -- have changed dramatically before my very eyes this week. And it makes me wonder silently -- or aloud to any other bar patron within shouting distance of me -- will I still love them as much in the future as I did in the past?

...What she was ...

...What she is now...

When I was doing my penance and watching the Oscars telecast with my wife, I first saw Alba looking preggers. Gone was the taut, firm and sexy body that forced the logic-thinking neurons in my brain to shut down and triggered my basest of emotions. That's right: Jessica Alba's mere appearance turned me into Mr. Peepers.

Seeing her on-stage giving an award with arms no longer looking chiseled and wearing a dress that completely hid her glorious butt from the world's view, I grew sad. I could feel my facial muscle collapse and forming what I suppose is a frown of some type. My mouth fell wipe open like a short-bus-riding, mouth-breathing, window-licker. But it was the tear that rolled down my cheek which brought suspicion to my wife.

"Why are you wiping your eyes?" my wife asked.

And, like any other guy in my position, I stumbled poorly to find a weak-ass lie.

"Oh, uh," as I stumbled, "I was just thinking about the Olympics and how the Chinese won't help stop the genocide in Darfur. It saddens me." (Again, you have to remember that Jessica Alba runs my mind aground faster than a drunken ship captain.)

"Is this because Jessica Alba's getting fat?" my wife replied, almost taking a supreme joy that this goddess is now mortal. "Get over it."

Eventually, I'd have to get over this change, but at the moment, it was like discovering that Roy Hobbs really didn't exist.

(Editors note: We tried to explain to Jason that Roy Hobbs was a fictional character, but for whatever reason, thought this was, what he called, a March Fool's Joke...whatever that means.)

After battling with the Alba Question for a good 36 hours, another curve was thrown my way. While at work surfing the net and searching for any content on Google that mentions Jessica Alba + workouts + pregnancy -- which was done simply to plant the seeds of hope that JA would get her fine form back -- I get an email from a buddy telling me, "The Penguins swoop in at the deadline and get Hossa. I hate you and your team." (My friend, after all, was a Flyers fan...nobody's perfect.)

WHOA! Is he serious? So, I headed towards TSN's coverage of the trade deadline. It was true....IT WAS TRUE! The Penguins got Hossa and Pascal Dupuis for Colby Armstrong, Erik Christensen, Angelo Esposito, and a 2008 1st round pick.

Wow. Hossa joins the Pens to ride shotgun with Sid the Kid and make a serious run at the Cup. Unreal. This has the impact of the Francis/Samuelsson trade in 1991, or the Coffey deal in the 1987! (And what is the limit on exclamation points (!) in one column?)

Looking at the trade particulars, I kept looking at Armstrong and Christensen. I liked both players. They felt like little brothers to me. I remember when the Penguins drafted them. I remember reading articles about their development, and I cheered when they made the big roster. They felt like family.

Then that gnawing feeling came back. The same one I felt Sunday. Thankfully, it wasn't sexually driven.

The Penguins were different. They just weren't the collection of happy-go-lucky kids who were growing up together, learning together, and eventually winning together. Nope. The world I knew changed, and business creeped in with the team and the game. Even though they were both players who played complementary roles on the team, Armstrong and Christensen felt like a big part of the Penguins family, the future and their subsequent success.

Watching the Penguins beat the Islanders with a short bench, I still felt as if something was off. Ditto that after the 5-1 loss to the Bruins Thursday, where the newly acquired Hossa sprained his knee. It was like Wayne's World when Garth saw Wayne's basement in the sound stage.

This is my Penguins team, but this isn't my Penguins team.

It's just like seeing Jessica Alba pregnant at the Oscars: this is Jessica Alba, but this isn't the Jessica Alba I get stupid over.

In time, I know I'll find a new chemistry with this Penguins team. We always do after trades, and I think we have Craig Patrick to thank for that -- he got us used to the concept of trading assets. And I'm guessing I'll still find the lust I possess for Alba too. Just, for right now, it seems like the time to wallow and yearn for the good old days. You know, good old days that go back as far as last Saturday.