Get Motivated

This is totally off-topic and relative to nothing, but I just got these forwarded to me and felt the need to share. Somehow I've never seen this website before. Brilliant stuff.

Despair, Inc.: Motivational products and posters for pessimists, underachievers, and the chronically unsuccessful

The News: Afternoon Edition

A few quick links to wrap up the afternoon:

--Booger McFarland's agent says he's not a Steeler yet.

--Bob Smizik thinks it's time for Joe Paterno to agree to plan for a successor.

--Sidney will be back Thursday, and Ryan Whitney will stay at left wing.

--Former Pitt TE Kris Wilson emerges from the shadows of Tony Gonzalez and signs with the Eagles.

--13-year old Austin Lemieux teammate Nate Miller, who goes 6'3", 180, chooses hockey over hoops.

--Pittsburgh Slim has signed on for the movie "The Bleeding", co-starring DMX, Michael Madsen, Armand Assante and Vinnie Jones.

--Hillary Clinton visits the Trib...and slams Obama's minister during her visit.

--The Buccos sent 38-year-old reliever Hector Carrasco to their minor-league camp.

--The newly-opened SI archive has a great story about Howard Cosell by Myron Cope.

--In today's completely bizarre news, a geneology study shows that Barack Obama is a relative of Brad Pitt, and Hillary Clinton is related to Angelina Jolie.

--Justin Timberlake is going to host the ESPYs.

--Asks Deadspin: Do LA Teams Have The Refs Hypnotized?

--It's a sad day in hoops, as Chris Webber retires.

That Didn't Last Long

One this year's more intriguing stories, "The Great Byung-Hyun Kim Experiment", didn't last long, as he was bought out by the Pirates for the bargain price of $300,000.

Kim's sparkling spring line including 5 innnings pitched, 5 HR allowed, and a 14.40 ERA. Given one more chance to not impress the team yesterday, Kim said he was ill and got permission to leave McKechnie Field. What a gamer.

Besides Kim, the Pirates made a fleury of moves yesterday:

--Nate McLouth was named as the starting CF, but Nyjer Morgan will stick around as a backup.

--Jaret Wright, aka Turd Ferguson, was released.

--The contracts of IF Luis Rivas and utilityman Doug Mientkiewicz were purchased from AAA Indianapolis, which means pitcher Jonah Bayliss will have the opportunity to watch Pacer games on a regular basis.

--They released reliever Juan Perez.

--Acquired reliever Tyler Yates from the Atlanta Braves for pitcher Todd Redmond.

--Kevin Thompson, Elmer Dessens and Casey Fossum were also sent to Indy.

--Designated infielder Josh Wilson for assignment and reassigned infielder Jorge Velandia to minor-league camp.

--Relievers Sean Burnett, Phil Dumatrait, Franquelis Osoria, Evan Meek, Hector Carrasco and Masumi Kuwata are battling for three spots. Osoria and Dumatrait are believed to be locks.

Just a few days left until Ian Snell and John Smoltz face off in Atlanta on Monday. Can you feel the excitement building? Me neither.

Pirates acquire Yates from Atlanta, buy out Kim [PG]

Spring Training: Pirates set to buy out Kim [PG]

The News: Steelers Edition

A few nonviolent Steelers bits o' news:

--ESPN had their Steelers: On the Clock draft segment, hosted by Ron Jaworski, Mel Kiper, Chris Mortensen, and Mike Tirico. SOJ was kind enough to post the video.

--The Steelers brought in 300-pound DT Anthony "Booger" McFarland for a thorough tire-kicking. He missed all of last season with a knee injury and failed a physical for the Colts last month. You've got me sold!

--A&L Motors, creators of the beloved Penguins commercial with Malkin & Co., seems to have a little problem with Verron Haynes.

--Whew! The Steelers were able to lock up long-snapper Greg Warren for three more years.

--Arizona State RB Ryan Torain, Michigan OLB Shawn Cable and Tennessee LB Jerod Mayo visited the Steelers on Tuesday. They signed none of them, as that would be against league rules.

--No, not even the Cleveland Browns want Clark Haggans.

--The Steelers have a slideshow of their offseason workouts, for those of you interested.

--Want a job at Heinz Field? Here's your chance. Seriously, who wouldn't want to serve concessions to intoxicated Steeler fans on a frigid Sunday afternoon?

Adam The Penn State Fan is Alive and Well

There are a handful of Pittsburghers who have gained some level of greater notoriety through the wonders of the internet and specifically this site. Penguins fan GwenJen comes to mind. And who could forget the great Ronnie Florian, my personal all-time favorite?

But one colorful character from the past seemed to have completely vanished into thin air. He was known as "Adam the Penn State Fan", he was a local high school kid, and he was best known for his blind praise of all things Penn State Nittany Lions in the Mondesi's House comment section.

Adam's partisan arguments would bait Pitt fans time and time again, and the next thing you knew, we would have a full-fledged comment war on our hands. Judging from the recent survey I conducted, I know many of you long for those days.

After visiting and commenting on the site with consistent regularity, suddenly there were no more Adam comments to be had. As hard as it was to admit for them, many of Adam's adversaries have written and wondered about his whereabouts. I'd compare it to the reaction of Steeler fans when the Browns left town; they were rivals, but they enjoyed the fight.

Well, today is a lucky day for those of you who wondered what happened to Adam. I'm happy to report that he is in fact alive and well. How do I know this? Well, another loyal Mondesi reader happened to email me this clip from a recent edition of the Sunday night KDKA/#1 Cochran Sports Showdown. Guess whose anti-Pitt email is read by Jory Rand at the 7:15 mark? That's right, Adam the Penn State Fan, who appears to have graduated to griping on television as opposed to blogs.

The #1 Cochran Sports Showdown 3/23 [KDKA]

The Relevance of Pitt vs Penn State 11/06 [Mondesishouse.com]
Ronnie Florian In-Person Encounter...With Pics 6/07 [Mondesishouse.com]
Ronnie Florian, Pittsburgh Legend 5/07 [Mondesishouse.com]
The Legend of GwenJen 2/07 [Mondesishouse.com]
GwenJen Speaks [Mondesishouse.com]

Rebuttle to Mondesi's House Penn State Article (Adam the Penn State fan's blog)

We Are!!!....Not Thrilled With That... (by Adam the Penn State Fan for Rakesofmallow.com)

Crosby-Less Pens Fall to Islanders

PENGUINS 1
ISLANDERS 4

Captain Sidney Crosby missed his sixth straight game and 27th in 30, and the Penguins dropped a 4-1 decision hosted by the New York Islanders on Monday night.

Bill Guerin's goal and assist led the way for New York, keeping the Penguins' playoff hopes at bay for at least one more evening. "We just came out flat," Jordan Staal said.

You can always tell it's a bad sign when the highlight of the night is a mere photo op of Evgeni Malkin.

Ty Conklin got the start in goal and stopped 32 of 36 shots. The only Penguin offense came from Petr Sykora's first-period power play goal set up by Jeff Taffe and Mr. Kennedy.

The Pens don't have much time to dwell on this one, as they will be back at it on Tuesday night with a 7:00 date at New Jersey. A busy week then includes a rematch with the Isles on Thursday and PLAYOFF TICKETS on FRIDAY!

Isles stop Pens from clinching playoff spot; Crosby sits sixth straight game [ESPN]

A Pitt Team IN the Sweet 16

Avenging their fallen male counterparts, Pitt's women's team advanced to the Sweet 16 on Monday night with a 67-59 upset of 3-seed Baylor in Albuquerque, NM. Guard Shavonte Zellous led the way with 19 points and 6 rebounds, while teammate Marcedes Walker (shown above) added 17 and 9.

It's the biggest win in the women's program's history and a nice story for a campus undoubtedly bummed about Saturday night's men's result.

Next up, Pitt will face the Stanford-UTEP winner next week in Spokane. Dare I say an Elite Eight spot is on the line?

Zellous' 19 help No. 6 Pitt shock Baylor and advance to Sweet 16

The News

--It was a bitter end to the Pitt Panthers' season on Saturday night, certainly raising the old question of "how much energy do they burn in the Big East Tournament?"

Today, the PG looks back on what was a fascinating season, noting that seniors Ronald Ramon and Keith Benjamin won 101 games, went to four consecutive NCAA tournaments and won a memorable Big East championship while at Pitt.

--At least the Pitt women are still alive, as they face off against Baylor in the second round.

--This Steelers controversy isn't going away anytime soon. However, Steigy says that there is no double standard.

--In the "last week's news" department, the Steelers will play the Bills in Toronto in August, continuing the trend of pro sports leagues exploiting Pittsburgh and Buffalo teams in unconventional settings to sell tickets.

--Trying to get a status report on Sidney Crosby from the Penguins? Good luck.

--TMZ has what might be the greatest Bill Belichick picture ever:

--Straight Outta Johnstown interviews Megan from 'That's Amore'

--Penn State LB Tyrell Sales: innocent!

A LIST OF TODAY'S TOP LISTS

19 ways for soccer to become more popular in the U.S.

Great TV and movie scenes told using only typography

8 "Self-Help" Books That Will Do Nothing of the Sort

5 Certifiably Insane Politicians People Still Voted For

5 Campy Facts About The 1960's Batman TV Show

30 Error Messages You Never Want to See

The 10 Lamest Dinosaur Names

Koz: Get Back, Satan

PENGUINS 7

DEVILS 1 by Koz
koz@insightbb.com

Saturday night’s game against the Devils was the most important hockey game I’ve attended since Mario’s comeback game in 2001, and the most important game for playoff positioning that I can even remember.

Lots of exciting things happened; here is my account from B15.

To start the game, the fans were well fired up, bringing the “Let’s Go Pens” chant out before the opening faceoff. Jeff Jimerson was not in the house to start us off, which was more than somewhat disappointing. He probably was playing a bat mitzvah or something.

The scoring started quickly with Jarkko Ruutu scoring his third goal in three games. I was sure Staal scored, but apparently one of the Devils was doing his best Nicklas Backstrom impression and beat Staal to the puck. This just continues Jordan Staal’s terrible luck this season. I swear he’s just missed about a half dozen goals in the last couple days. A few minutes later he will have a nice takeaway and shoot the puck wide. Later in the second period, he will fire a sweet backhand off the iron. He’s seriously cursed right now. A little more luck and he’s got 20+ goals and no one is talking about a sophomore slump.

If a goal on the first shot doesn’t get you excited, nothing will. Next thing you knew the Pens were on the power play. Unfortunately, this led to one of the sickest goals of the season. Brian Gionta batted the puck out of mid air and deflected a short-handed goal past MAF. If Crosby or Malking had scored it, we would be calling for the puck to be sent to the hall-of-fame. The first period ends tied at one after Malone misses a wide open net.

During intermission, I took a walk to the High School Hall of Champions behind the Igloo Club to pay my respects to the Chartiers Valley Colts hockey jersey. Good times.

Sitting in B15, the second period is when I hope to see more action at the other end. We were treated to a Matrix-moment when a puck shot by Mike Mottau rolled on edge past the goal post. If that puck would have gone in the net, it would have been a huge momentum swing. Not much else happened in the second until snake-bitten Staal took a penalty. Pascal Dupui and Ryan Malone busted out for a short-handed goal to give the Pens the lead. What most of you didn’t see was this short-handed goal led to the guy in front of me spilling his nachos all over the guy in front of him. It’s crazy things like this that happen when your team scores a short handed goal.

Short-Handed Goal!

Right before the end of the second, Tyler Kennedy had an amazing chance from the slot, and Brodeur just got a toe on it. Kennedy had an outstanding game, fighting for the puck and generating chances. Entering the third period, things were still close.

As the evening continued on this Easter Vigil, it was clear this was not the Devils’ night. Fortunately for me and the folks on the south end of the arena, the Pens saved their goal outburst for the third period.

The Pens first big scoring chance in the third involved snake-bitten Staal who put on the Ritz, put a shot into Brodeur, whose own player crashed into him and into the net. Player with puck in net = goal, right? No. Not here. Penalty was called, and play was dead. Seven seconds later it didn’t matter because Ryan Malone tipped a shot past a diving (as in acting for a penalty) Brodeur. No penalty, 3-1 Pens.

At 16:04 in the third, everyone in the arena crapped their pants when we saw Malkin down on the ice behind the Penguin net. After a sigh of relief when he got up on his own and returned to the bench, we only needed to wait about a minute more for Pascal Dupuis to lift our spirits, raise the volume on the “Marty! Marty!” chants, and send Brodeur to the showers.

On the way home in the car, The Ole 29er mentioned in 60 starts against the Pens, Brodeur has been pulled from 10 of them.

From here on out, the Pens just poured it on. The only question was whether Malking would finish the game with 100 points. He didn’t. He has 102 now.

Kevin Weekes deciding between crying and winding his watch

Therrien called for the fans to be loud, and they did a good job. I want to give a special shout out to the Cowbell Section in D9. These folks got it going on. Keep up the good work.

I was unfortunate to witness an incident of mullet discrimination when a gentleman was escorted from his seat behind the glass in A17. This man was ejected from the arena, allegedly for banging on the glass, but that didn’t seem like anything out of control. Like I said, mullet discrimination. I was lucky to find this man after the game outside the arena (no joke) near the Pens van that is parked by Gate 2. He seemed to be ok, though was still confused about his ejection.

FREE THE MULLET!!!

Speaking of ejections, Travis “Don’t Call Me Pat” Zajac hit Gonchar from behind and earned a five minute major. That was bad. But Jamie Langenbrunner, apparently upset about having a girl’s name, decided to come from nowhere and mug one of the Penguins. Fortunately, Pascal Dupuis has committed to the flightless birds and beat him down. Chats of “Go Home Devils!” rained down and sent us all home to wait for the Easter Bunny.

Penguins TV Viewing Information: Monday’s game against the Islanders will be on Versus at 7 pm.

Mondesi Interview: Brian Powell of Awfulannouncing.com

We're right in the middle of March Madness, which means we'll be watching a lot of CBS (and after the games, ESPN) in the near future. With this in mind, I figured that we needed a little guide for watching the tournament. So who better to talk to than the #1 authority on all things TV sports, Awful Announcing's Brian Powell?

Brian started his website in 2006, and in that short amount of time it's risen all the way to #3 on the Ballhype charts. Yes, Awful Announcing has indeed struck a nerve with the TV-watching, blog-reading sports fan. AA has enough embedded video clips and screenshots to make your head spin, and as Brian will point out, there's always plenty of Erin Andrews references, for those of you into that. It's a highly enjoyable website.

Brian is a qualified professor in this topic, so sit back, listen (or should I say "scroll") and enjoy:

I see that we'll be getting the team of Gus Johnson and Len Elmore for Pitt's Denver region. The equation of Gus Johnson + high altitude = what?

Hopefully a few upsets and at least one buzzer beater. Gus seems to have the golden voice when it comes to calling epic Tourney games. Let's just hope for your reader's sake that one of those isn't Oral Roberts.

Bob Knight picked the Panthers to win the whole thing. Is that a wise choice from a coaching legend, or the ramblings of a crazy person?

I don't think it's necessarily a bad omen, but I had one rule when picking teams coached by Bob Knight. Never pick them past the second round. He's a great coach but later in his years his defensive minded teams just couldn't keep up with the game's new style of play. This Pittsburgh team reminds me of those old Hoosier teams that get it done on the boards and down low and that will either get them very far or not far at all.

Let's do some free association with college basketball talking heads. What's the first thing that comes to mind when someone mentions...

Dick Vitale: Should be in the Hall of Fame as an ambassador to the game

Bob Knight: Plotting to kill Digger Phelps

Billy Packer: Old Curmudgeon

Gus Johnson: The People's Champ

Erin Andrews: Over hyped (I'm one of those to blame for this)

Bill Raftery: ONIONS!

Verne Lundquist: Lovable but past his prime

Jay Bilas: Growing on me

Joe Lunardi: Lucky (Making a career out of Bracketology blows my mind, but I have a website about Announcers)

A rare look at a bracketologist off the clock

Which personalities are you least looking forward to watching/listening to during the tournament?

Gus Johnson, Len Elmore (I need to give him another chance after the JB debacle last year), Jay Bilas, Seth Davis, and newbie Carter Blackburn.

How much time will you spend watching NIT games?

Well I spent one night watching my Terps win in Minnesota and I think that'll be about it. I'm actually more interested in the matchups in the CBI this year. I realize that most of your time is spent watching sports.

Any favorite non-sports programs you take a break to watch?

It pains me to admit this but I love trashy MTV programming. I have to shut my mind off from Sports from time to time and there's no better way. So here's the list of things I check out: The Hills, The Gauntlet, Rob and Big, Lost, 30 Rock, The Wire, Numbers, The Office, and anything on Adult Swim

Finally, the questions we're dying to know: who's going to win it all, and what do you foresee for Pitt?

I have Pitt getting knocked out by Memphis but that game could go either way. I just think Memphis' guard play will win out over the inconsistent Ramon. Fields will be everything to Pitt in that game and the Tournament and if they win that game look out. Any team in the bottom half is going to be in trouble.

-----

AWFUL ANNOUNCING LINKS

AWFULANNOUNCING.COM

BRIAN POWELL at THE SPORTING NEWS