Mondesi Interview: Brian Powell of Awfulannouncing.com

We're right in the middle of March Madness, which means we'll be watching a lot of CBS (and after the games, ESPN) in the near future. With this in mind, I figured that we needed a little guide for watching the tournament. So who better to talk to than the #1 authority on all things TV sports, Awful Announcing's Brian Powell?

Brian started his website in 2006, and in that short amount of time it's risen all the way to #3 on the Ballhype charts. Yes, Awful Announcing has indeed struck a nerve with the TV-watching, blog-reading sports fan. AA has enough embedded video clips and screenshots to make your head spin, and as Brian will point out, there's always plenty of Erin Andrews references, for those of you into that. It's a highly enjoyable website.

Brian is a qualified professor in this topic, so sit back, listen (or should I say "scroll") and enjoy:

I see that we'll be getting the team of Gus Johnson and Len Elmore for Pitt's Denver region. The equation of Gus Johnson + high altitude = what?

Hopefully a few upsets and at least one buzzer beater. Gus seems to have the golden voice when it comes to calling epic Tourney games. Let's just hope for your reader's sake that one of those isn't Oral Roberts.

Bob Knight picked the Panthers to win the whole thing. Is that a wise choice from a coaching legend, or the ramblings of a crazy person?

I don't think it's necessarily a bad omen, but I had one rule when picking teams coached by Bob Knight. Never pick them past the second round. He's a great coach but later in his years his defensive minded teams just couldn't keep up with the game's new style of play. This Pittsburgh team reminds me of those old Hoosier teams that get it done on the boards and down low and that will either get them very far or not far at all.

Let's do some free association with college basketball talking heads. What's the first thing that comes to mind when someone mentions...

Dick Vitale: Should be in the Hall of Fame as an ambassador to the game

Bob Knight: Plotting to kill Digger Phelps

Billy Packer: Old Curmudgeon

Gus Johnson: The People's Champ

Erin Andrews: Over hyped (I'm one of those to blame for this)

Bill Raftery: ONIONS!

Verne Lundquist: Lovable but past his prime

Jay Bilas: Growing on me

Joe Lunardi: Lucky (Making a career out of Bracketology blows my mind, but I have a website about Announcers)

A rare look at a bracketologist off the clock

Which personalities are you least looking forward to watching/listening to during the tournament?

Gus Johnson, Len Elmore (I need to give him another chance after the JB debacle last year), Jay Bilas, Seth Davis, and newbie Carter Blackburn.

How much time will you spend watching NIT games?

Well I spent one night watching my Terps win in Minnesota and I think that'll be about it. I'm actually more interested in the matchups in the CBI this year. I realize that most of your time is spent watching sports.

Any favorite non-sports programs you take a break to watch?

It pains me to admit this but I love trashy MTV programming. I have to shut my mind off from Sports from time to time and there's no better way. So here's the list of things I check out: The Hills, The Gauntlet, Rob and Big, Lost, 30 Rock, The Wire, Numbers, The Office, and anything on Adult Swim

Finally, the questions we're dying to know: who's going to win it all, and what do you foresee for Pitt?

I have Pitt getting knocked out by Memphis but that game could go either way. I just think Memphis' guard play will win out over the inconsistent Ramon. Fields will be everything to Pitt in that game and the Tournament and if they win that game look out. Any team in the bottom half is going to be in trouble.

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BRIAN POWELL at THE SPORTING NEWS

We Want You, VCU

Well, so much for the Pitt-Duke game I've always wanted to see. VCU eliminated the Team You Love to Hate by a count of 79-77 as warm-up entertainment for all of those Pitt fans who traveled to Buffalo. And it wasn't pretty. That was the worst thing to happen to Duke since a few lacrosse players had the idea to hire some strippers.

VCU really took it to the Dukies, and while I was happy to see the overrated Blue Devils eliminated, it was a bittersweet win. As my brother pointed out, "Everyone wants Duke to lose. If Pitt would've play Duke, the crowd (and the rest of the country) would root for Pitt. Now, VCU will have the entire country in their corner."

Yeah, this is playing out exactly like a Pitt tournament run does. After a 79-58 opening-round win against the Wright State Raiders, the Panthers will face the 28-6 VCU Rams on Saturday with the entire country rooting against them.

If you were wondering, the mathematical formula for Pitt's annual tournament experience looks like this:

High Pitt seed + Mid-Major/Cinderella + Potentially Dangerous Go-To Opposing Player = Early Elimination For Panthers

Eric Maynor, who racked up 22 points and 8 assists for VCU, looks like the favorite to join Marquette's Dwyane Wade, Bradley's Patrick O'Bryant (now toiling in the NBA D-League for a third stint this year after being chosen in the lottery), and Pacific's trifecta of Christian Maraker, David Doubley, and Mike Webb in the pantheon of mid-major players to take over a tournament game against Pitt.

But before we get to the potential gloom and doom of another early exit, let's break down Thursday's game. Pitt had a balanced attack, and by balanced I mean that six Panthers contributed to the 16 turnovers Pitt committed. If they were playing anyone better than Wright State, who shot 33% from the floor, they would have been in serious trouble. The Panthers were very sloppy, but their pure athleticism and talent dwarfed anything Wright State could throw at them.

Aaron Gray had 11 and 9 despite two or three Raiders on his back the entire night; Ronald Ramon led the team with 14 points, including a blazing 4-6 from three-point land; and Sam Young added 13 in 19 minutes of PT. Jamie Dixon even lit a triple human-victory-cigar with some rare playing time for Maurice Polen, Doyle Hudson, and Geoff Rizk.

It was a mildly entertaining game, albeit a very uneven first half. Pitt went from being up 15-2 to a 22-22 tie to a 43-30 halftime lead. They outscored the Raiders 36-28 in the second half. So all's well that ends well...for Pitt.

All in all, the first day of the tournament was pretty uneventful, with the exception of the Duke loss. The Mondesi March Madness pool had the cream rise to the top, with a four-way tie for first place after one day. Leaders include "Ed Rendell Sucks" and "Bobby Brown's Pimp Hand". I love it. There's also the obligatory trash talk, which was incited by this comment a few days ago by the user "Adam's Astute Obervations":

"Sean, Coach K is not going to lose to freaking VCU in the NCAA Tournament. Watch some college basketball and get your head out of you Big East Ass. He won't lose to Pitt either. He's freaking Coacg K, and as much as I hate his guts, he doesn't lose to teams at or below his level like Pitt and VCU in the tournament. "

Whoops.

In other tournament news, Bill Simmons of ESPN.com sat around with two buddies, ate food from The Oinkster, drank Smithwick's beer, and apparently just discovered the movie Borat. I know this because he kept mentioning them over and over in the running journal he kept while watching the games today. It's a long read, and not particularly interesting, but it does read a little differently from his recent columns:

"Greg Oden Kevin Durant. I mean, really, Greg Oden Kevin Durant. Celtics Celtics House SportsGal Kevin Durant. Greg Oden? Kevin Durant? Greg Oden. Kevin Durant. The Hills Celtics Magic Bird Karate Kid. Greg Oden, Kevin Durant. Kevin Durant, Greg Oden. Greg Oden! Kevin Durant! Yup, these are my readers."

Actually, I've been a Simmons fan for a long time. His No Balls Association piece about the NBA trade deadline was fantastic. We need more columns about that, and less college basketball. It's just not his strength. But I will keep reading.

To close, I return to the Pitt Panthers. I wish them the best of luck on Saturday against VCU and the entire nation.

Suggested reading:

Post Gazette: Pitt downs Wright State, 79-58

Trib: Starkey: Pitt's depth comes through

ESPN: Pittsburgh goes long-distance for rare opener win

Steelers Week in Review: Porter's Comments, Cowher's Comments, Salary Cap '07, Pro Bowl, Carolina

Steelers coverage on Mondesi's House has been sparse this week, so I'll try to get up to speed on all the pressing issues in one neat, tidy post.

Joey Porter fined $10,000 for his "derogatory comment" about Kellen Winslow

There's a few things we can say with confidence:

1. Joey Porter is a moron

2. Kellen Winslow is also a moron

3. If you're a public figure, don't call anyone a name when microphones and/or cameras are running

4. We live in a politically correct world.

Did Joey's comments really offend any gay people? Maybe a few, but for the most part, I doubt it. I'm sure they just considered the source. Should he act so surpised when he gets fined? Well, maybe you haven't noticed, but #55 is a bit of a "look-at-me" showman. So of course he will flip out after being docked 10 large. Apparently he never heard of John Rocker, Michael "Middle Finger" Vick, or anyone else that had a public incident that caused everyone to cringe.

The cooler reaction would've been like Randy Moss a few years ago, when he said he was paying for a fine in "straight cash, homey".

Porter did bring up a good point when he noted that other players are getting DUIs and are not getting fined by the league. Let's face it, the NFL slapping Porter on the wrist was a PR move. They were in damage control. But how much negative PR for the league have the Bengals and Chargers generated this year? Porter was dumb for what he said and deserved the fine, but he didn't endanger the lives of others.

Bill Cowher: "Obviously, my wife and I both grew up in the Raleigh area." (link)

Correct me if I'm wrong, but is Carlynton High in Raleigh, or in greater Pittsburgh? Pittsburgh, you say? I thought so. So where is Cowher going with this comment? What a slap in the face to the city. And why did he wait until December to finally address the situation with the national media, when he's avoided it on every level from the Pittsburgh media? At this point, I'd be shocked if Cowher did come back next year.

The Steelers are projected to be $150,000 under the cap in 2007

That's a far cry from the $42.1 million that San Francisco has to burn. Heck, even New England has 30 million extra reasons to contend in '07...that's what happens when you let every able-bodied wide receiver on your roster sign with another team. The bottom line: don't look for the black and gold to be among the biggest spenders in free agency. And count on some "cap casualties" to free up some extra room. Hopefully the money will be spent better than in 2004, when a certain veteran free agent running back was signed to a multi-year deal.

Willie Parker for the Pro Bowl

You can tell it's a bad season when you can count the Pro Bowl candidates on half of a hand. Parker is third in the AFC in rushing, behind Mr. Touchdown and Diaper Boy. The only other AFC backs in the top 15 of the NFL are Fred Taylor (8th), Rudi Johnson (9th), and Travis Henry (14th). So I would think Fast Willie is a deserving candidate.

Who else could even be considered from the Steelers? Maybe a defensive lineman like Hampton or Aaron Smith, but outside of that, probably no one. Even the Hawaii regulars, like Polamalu, Faneca, and Porter had non-Pro Bowl years. And poor Ike Taylor, who campaigned for a spot in Honolulu last year...now coming off the bench. What a horrendous, horrendous nightmare of a season.

The Carolina Game

By all account, there should be a strong contingent of Steeler fans in attendance, including Ramon Mondesi, my brother. I expect a solid in-person recap. The traveling Steeler Nation is always a nice touch. But what can we expect for an outcome? Chris Weinke is starting, and his record in Carolina is a mind-blowing 1-16. That's a nice stat to know. But Max Starks trying to block Julius Peppers is downright scary. Roethlisberger should consider wearing two helmets if at all possible.

Do the Steelers have an answer for Steve Smith? Does Carolina have any chance of running the ball, after posting just 45 yards against the Giants on Sunday? What kind of impact can we expect from Hines Ward, coming off of the injury? How much will the Steelers miss Polamalu on Sunday?

I can say one thing with certainty: these are probably the two biggest disappointments in the league this year. I hear the argument that Carolina is the biggest, but I can't get past the defending Super Bowl champs battling uphill all year as the bigger disappointment.

The Panthers hold on to faint wild card hopes, and the Steelers continue to clutch that miniscule percentage point that keeps them alive. So each team has something to play for, other than those million-dollar salaries they collect to give a good effort each week. I'm hoping for an entertaining game, lots of John Cougar Mellencamp commercials, and some top-notch announcing from CBS. Let's keep our fingers crossed for Gus Johnson, everyone. Even if it's not an exciting game, we'll think we're watching one.

Someone Get Gus Johnson a Sedative

Editor's note 12/2/06: A welcome to all the reader's finding this piece after reading Bill Simmons' December 1, 2006 article mentioning Gus. If you like Simmons, odds are you will like Mondesi's House, especially if you're from Pittsburgh. So please feel free to look around. And now, on to what you really came for...some insight into the world of Gus Johnson...

There are pluses and minuses with having a bad season in the NFL. A plus is obviously a higher draft pick; a minus is the TV coverage for your favorite team. For the Phil Simms and Jim Nantz haters out there, just remember that they are CBS's #1 team.

That fact was made painfully obvious by Sunday's Steelers-Browns matchup in Cleveland. Fans were "treated" to the team of former Buffalo special teams wizard Steve Tasker and the always-excitable Gus Johnson. Johnson is so animated, he could make a broadcast of a Raiders-Texans game seem crucial. For those of you with sensitive ears, the volume of Johnson's voice could be very hazardous. Especially on that final call of the jump ball. I think my ears are still ringing.
Time to tune it down a notch, big guy. This is two teams battling to stay out of the basement, not the AFC Championship.

Announcers aside, this was a typical 2006 Steeler game. Which means they were wildly inconsistent, as we have come to expect: big plays for, big plays against, dumb penalties, Cowher Statue, bad special teams, Joey Porter yapping, etc.

The defense actually played OK, with the exception of the 14 play, 87 yard, 8:26 drive that somehow stalled and resulted in a mere three points. Unfortunately, defending Braylon Edwards (7 catches, 137 yards) was not Ike Taylor's finest hour. Ike had to return to the field after the game to retrieve his jock strap, which Edwards faked out on that 63-yard catch in the second quarter.

The D also managed to hold The Solider in check, with two of his four catches coming in a last gasp on the Browns' final drive. For Joey Porter haters, and there are many (including in Pittsburgh), they had to love the way Winslow casually tossed Porter aside in the second half. My only question: after today's game, does Winslow give a hell?

Large Benjamin redeemed himself after an atrocious first half. When the announcers said, "The Steelers have yet to figure out this Cleveland defense", that became the first time those words were spoken in the history of the NFL. Ben finished with 272 yards, 2 TD, 3 INT, and a nice plant into the ground courtesy of Kamerion Wimbley. Was that the same guy who used to be on Fraggle Rock?

Seperated at birth...Wembley and Wimbley

The Steelers usually have a tough game when they run for less than 100 yards, and that held true again today. Of course, you usually need to give your top running back more than 16 carries to achieve that milestone, which did not happen today (although Willie proved last week he can surpass 100 with just two carries). But despite his lack of action, Parker was still a difference-maker, accounting for two of the Steelers' three touchdowns.

The other touchdown was scored by one San Antonio Holmes. As I watched the game with my brother, Ramon Mondesi, I commented that if not for his nightmarish punt returning experience, Holmes would be considered an above-average rookie contributor. As a returner he is a punchline, but as a receiver I think he's proven to be pretty tough so far. At this point in the season, I think he deserves to start over Cedrick Wilson, who has mastered the fine art of the mock flag-throw in lieu of a pass interference call. Nate Washington added two catches, but he dropped another one. He just can't help himself from giving his critics ammunition on a weekly basis.

And now we kick it to the special teams, who will probably give up a touchdown on the return. Sean Morey, the kick returner of the hour, pulled a 76-yarder out of his hat, which was a nice surprise. But with this unit, every upside has an equal (or worse) downside. The 92-yard kickoff return for a TD by Josh Cribbs after the Steelers pulled within three was catastrophic. Steelers special teams have become proficient in the momentum-killing play.

And what in the world has happened to Jeff Reed? Why has every kick for this guy become an event of "will he or won't he"? If he doesn't get that friendly bounce on the 43-yarder in the third quarter, his season percentage falls to 64.7%. This is an 80% career kicker. Is there a reason why this has been completely ignored by the masses?

Much like the Saints win, this isn't one that gets you too amped up for the stretch run. It was an ugly win that could've easily gone the other way. The Browns are one of a handful of teams capable of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory like they managed to do today.

If you're a Browns fan, I feel sorry for you. Not just for today's game, but in general, for following such a bad team all these years and having to live in Cleveland to boot. But seriously, how disheartening is it to lose like you did this afternoon? As much as the announcers tried to build him up, I was not blown away by Charlie Frye. His stats (17/27, 224 yards, 0 TDs or INTs) were acceptable, but he lost a fumble, couldn't finish that 8-minute drive, and what about that mess at the end of the first half? Picture it: the Browns are just inside Phil Dawson's range, and the braintrust of Frye and Crennel fail to get a play called in time. So the Browns take a 5-yard penalty and are forced to throw a pass that only Shaquille O'Neal would have a shot a pulling down. The pass falls incomplete and the Browns enter the half up 10 instead of 13. Those are the little things that keep bad teams down.

Next up for the black and gold is a matchup at the 8-2 Baltimorons on Sunday. How we've gone through 10 weeks of the season and not faced the Ravens is a fantastic question, but I fully expect a good game. If they can win a tough road matchup, it's back to Heinz Field for the Tampa Bay Gradkowskis in two weeks, with a shot at .500 on the line. The Steelers just refuse to let that little window still left in their season close. I give them credit, because they certainly could have mailed it in after that atrocity of a first half today.

So now I retreat to Phil Simms and Jim Nantz announcing Indy at Dallas for the second half of the CBS doubleheader. And from now on, I'm going to research the announcers for the Steeler games ahead of time. That way I can either put in some earplugs, turn down the set and turn up Hillgrove, or send Gus Johnson some Xanax before kickoff.