EDYTA > GEORGE NOVAK, WANNY, SABAN...

Anyone else intrigued by the ongoing Jason Taylor saga? If you haven't been paying attention to the Miami Dolphins' offseason, you probably aren't aware that the former Defensive Player of the Year (and Pittsburgher) is rather focused on his dancing/post-football career these days.

The blog Sean's Ramblings noted that on the recent season finale of Dancing With the Stars, JT remarked that dancing partner Edyta Sliwinska was the best coach he ever had.

And while she's certainly in better shape than legendary Woodland Hills coach George Novak (who coached Taylor during his teenage years), it was a pretty big shot at all of Taylor's former coaches, a list that includes Jimmy Johnson, Nick Saban, and Dave Wannstedt. Although I'm pretty sure Edyta is a better coach at anything than Cam Cameron and Jim Bates.

It's pretty easy to see where Taylor is going with this. He knows that his football career is close to the end, the Dolphins were 1-15 last year and in total rebuild mode, and now they're being run by a tyrant and all of his minions who are already giving him the cold shoulder. His ongoing soap opera with The Tuna has become to Profootballtalk.com what Britney Spears and Angelina Jolie are to WWTDD, with daily updates on who said what.

The Dolphins attempted to deal Tayor to the Jaguars, but that now looks like a dead end. So it may come down to who blinks first. Taylor is apparently not going to attend offseason workouts or training camp, usually the precursor to a lengthy holdout. Check that, it's actually the definition of a holdout.

So how far is Taylor going to take this? Only Coach Edyta may know.

The News

Well, the recently-announced "Mondesi's House Team" is coming together nicely. The initial lineup of writers will be at least 10 deep, and quality is certainly not being spared for quantity. There is some impressive talent and even more impressive writing resumes here.

And even though I wasn't really soliciting for any more writers in the last post on this topic, I appreciate the avalanche of requests to write for the site. I wish there was a way to include all of you, but if this goes well, maybe expansion will be in the near future.

This will be a bit of a risk on my part, but I think the writers I've selected will mesh nicely with the style I've developed in the last year and a half. This site has certainly outgrown my one-person format; very soon, you'll have a greater frequency of posts from a variety of different voices. I hope you enjoy it.

--Are you wearing a hat right now? If so, take it off and throw it on the floor in honor of Evgeni Malkin's first career hat trick. The Pens scored three goals in 48 seconds to put away the Maple Leafs, 6-2.

--Congrats to WVU for hiring Bill Stewart, a.k.a. "Larry Coker 2.0". Clearly this was a hire based on emotion. How else do you describe giving the job to a coach whose career record is highlighted by an 8-25 mark at VMI? And Mountaineer fans, one question: if WVU gets blown out, does Stewart still get the job?

Interesting footnote: while compiling those eight wins at VMI, Stewart gave a coaching job to a young man just starting his career by the name of Mike Tomlin.

--Got an interesting email to share with you from Dave Zigerelli, a displaced Monacan (you know, someone from Monaca) who is now a producer for the History Channel and living in NYC:

"I wanted to forward you the information for a comedy podcast my buddy and I record every week called "The Burghcast". My friend Matt Little (who also lives in NYC and works as a standup comic) and I record a new one after every Steeler game. We play two middle aged Steeler fans from Beaver Falls named Herb and Buxy. We essentially do a brief rap up of each game and then discuss topics ranging from Heluva Good potato chip dip to the many merits of Gabriel Brothers Clothing.

If you have a free second, please check it out. I'd love to hear any feedback you may have.

You can go to Itunes and search "Burghcast" and our podcast should pop right up.

Or you can download directly from our tentative site which is:

http://www.burghcast.com/podcast/burghcast.xml"

I know I'm always down for some good Gabe's talk. Check it out!

--While I'm in plug mode: NEW BURGH SITE ALERT! Welcome Raise the Jolly Roger! and the Pens Underground message board.

--Mike Lange doesn't make sense. That's old news. But there's a big article about it today in the National Post, so I guess it's new news.

--The Duke reminds me that Duquesne is now 10-3 going into conference play. And as always, Dukes Court provides blanket coverage.

--Why should Bill Parcells hire Big Snack from Pierogis N'at as the new coach of the Dolphins? I don't know either, but he couldn't do much worse than Cam Cameron. I guess you'll just have to click the link to find out why.

--It's the NBA's All-Ugly Team! You'd think with the long cash they make (sorry, I stole that one from Plex), they could afford some plastic surgery.

--A war of words has started with Mike Dempsey, a Jacksonville sports radio host, after he called Steeler Nation a myth. More of an explanation at hereswhatimsaying.blogspot.com.

-Having already burned through 3.2 million copies, Sports Illustrated is now releasing even more issues of its Sportsman of the Year mag, featuring Green Bay Packers quarterback Brett Favre. Where's Peter King getting the money to buy all of those?

--Are Romo and Jess faking it for money?

--Here's your chance to own Sidney Crosby's Winter Classic Jersey. Unless it's already been stolen from Troy Crosby.

--Here's 10 reasons why Pittsburgh doesn't need an NBA team. Just 10? For Pierogis N'at's next list, I suggest 1,500 reasons why Pittsburgh doesn't need a CBA team.

--To whoever brought it up in the comments section recently (Louis Lipps, perhaps?)...you can still buy the Kendrell Bell bobblehead on eBay.

--Nothing says "musicians gone wild" like Beyonce and Kanye playing Connect Four

--It's Hip-Hop's Most Ridiculous (and Hilarious) Chains!

--For some reason, I think I've seen this before, but it achieves the very rare Mondesi's Five-Star Recommendation:

Monday Morning Wrapup: Disaster for Pittsburgh Sports

This weekend was an unmitigated disaster for the Pittsburgh sports fan. Pitt loses at South Florida, the Pens drop a contest in San Jose, and the Steelers, well, they were the Steelers again. I think Mayor Ravenstahl must have proclaimed this "Be Kinda Cleveland Weekend" but forgot to inform the fans in advance.

South Florida 22, Pitt 12- Pitt TE Darrell Strong, who watched one too many Steeler games this season, drew a crucial 15-yard unsportsmanlike with his flipping off of the South Florida fans. He has been suspended indefinitely for his stupid play. At least one coach in town disciplines his players for senseless, back-breaking penalties.

Sharks 3, Pens 2- Evgeni Malkin is held goal-less, Mark Eaton is injured on a dirty hit, the Pens have a goal disallowed that should have counted...this was a bummer all around. And then we had to see Dan Potash do LA with Colby Armstrong and Ryan Whitney in between periods.

Wisconsin 13, Penn State 3- JoePa goes down on a late hit...I think it was by Joey Porter...and was carted off. Early word is a torn ACL and MCL, and he'll train with Daunte Culpepper to rehab in time for opening day next season.

Lions 30, Falcons 14- Mr. Engraver, you might want to wait on that "MICHAEL VICK" inscription on the MVP trophy.

Dolphins 31, Bears 13- Surprisingly, it looks like Joe Theismann's prediction for an undefeated Bears season was wrong. Can't wait to see how they do on their three-game road trip of the Giants, Jets and Patriots.

Bills 24, Packers 10- This is what Brett Favre came back for: a cold Sunday afternoon in Buffalo losing to a 2-win Bills team quarterbacked by JP Losman.

Redskins 22, Cowboys 19- I really feel bad for the Cowboys, losing on the sequence of a blocked Mike Vanderjagt field goal, a 15-yard facemask, and a game-ending field goal by Nick Novak. Then I remembered that the Cowboys have Terrell Owens, are coached by Bill Parcells, and are owned by Jerry Jones. And I felt much better. By the way, Tony Romo is Joe Montana, Brett Favre, Tom Brady, Joe Namath, Dan Marino, Terry Bradshaw, and John Elway rolled into one, and multiplied by 50.

Ravens 26, Bengals 20- If it weren't for his media whoring during each week, would we realize Chad Johnson was even playing this year? A couple things jump out at me from this game: Cincy RB Chris Perry fumbled twice, meaning he will probably be a Steeler in the future; TJ Houshmandzadeh had the most impressive on-field helmet-spike I've seen in ages; the AFC North probably has the worst collection of offensive lines in the NFL; and that meaningless Carson Palmer interception at the end of the game gave negative points to thousands of fantasy footballers across the country.

Saints 31, Bucs 14- Did anyone notice Reggie Bush's rushing stats for this game? 11 carries, minus-5 yards! For the year...81 carries, 207 yards (2.55 YPC)...46 catches, but for only 312 yards (6.7 YPC)...0 offensive TDs? Can I be the first to suggest too many Subway subs with Jon Lovitz? On the Bucs side, this is the fifth game this season that Cadillac Williams rushed for 48 yards or less. The Bucs record is a Cowher-esque 0-5 in contests where the running game stalls.

49ers 9, Vikings 3- When Alex Smith faces off against Brad Johnson, you can throw out all the records.

Chargers 32, Browns 26- Cleveland keeps pace with their AFC North brethren in dropping a close one to San Diego. The Charlie Frye Era in Cleveland has not started as well as, say, the 2004 Ben Roethlisberger Era in Pittsburgh. Which is to say, no 15-1 record, no playoffs, and no Charlie Frye Beef Jerky.

Giants 14, Texans 10- Tiki "Fox and Friends" Barber chooses Game 8 to get into the scoring column. Eli Manning contributes another victory to the Manning Family Pot for 2006, which now stands at 14-2. Sean Salisbury has just predicted a Giants-Colts Super Bowl. Not one, but TWO Mannings in a Super Bowl. Does Sean ever watch the playoffs, or is he more of a "regular season" kinda guy?

Colts 27, Patriots 20- I would have been happy seeing either of these teams lose. The Patriots, who value kickers and wide receivers as much as the Steelers value holding onto the football, saw four INTs from their passing attack and a missed field goal from their rookie kicker. And this happened while their all-time leading scorer accounted for 9 of the Colts' 27 points. I hope all of that $10 million in cap room keeps you warm at night, Bill Belichick. And then we have Indy fans, who are getting excited again for a title run. They're like Charlie Brown getting the football pulled out from them every year. It's almost sad.

Bill Cowher = Bully

I'm not a big fan of the Tuesday Cowher Press Conferences...never have been, actually. The only useful information that comes out are the injuries, such as "Troy with a foot", or "Sean with a toe". But what went on at today's circus disguised as a dispersal of information and answers is a major reason why.

Mr. Bill, like many NFL coaches, is too important for his own good. That's why he's where he is. Like Bill Parcells, or Brian Billick, or in baseball, Tony LaRussa, he has a healthy ego. But the problem is that he has still yet to harness when to turn that ego on and off. During an emotional football game, displaying that self-importance is not only fine, it's necessary. But when we're two days removed from a game in which he wasn't even emotional in, he picks now to be Mr. Difficult with the media. He treats reporters like they are beneath him...rungs beneath him. To steal a line from the classic Bill Murray film What About Bob, "he's so far above us, we're like ropes on the Goodyear Blimp."

Cowher is a football coach, not a President, a Prime Minister, or Secretary of Defense. Yet the press conferences carry the tone of a Cuban Missile Crisis. You're preparing for Denver this week, Bill, not a stealth military attack at dawn.

On a legitimate question about Roethlisberger's health asked by Bob Smizik, Cowher responded with an abrupt "no" and then quickly moved to the next question. Congratulations, Bill, you just punked an 82-year-old sportswriter. Yet you can't discipline your own team when they're pushing guys who are already out of bounds and doing legs kicks while losing to the worst team in the league.

Smizik should do the Larry Foote stomp. That's been proven to not land anyone in Bill's doghouse.

You can hear the Smizik exchange about halfway through this clip of today's press conference. However, that's not even the best part. Listen for a little longer, and you'll get this frustrated rant:

"It's week to week...it's week to week...it's WEEK TO WEEK!" when asked about Jeff Hartings' knee.

Cowher is wound up pretty tight these days. Losing to Art Shell will have that effect on a coach. What he needs to be most of all is a leader, not a media bully. If not, we'll have our own version of the Dennis Green clip to play ad nauseam soon enough. And someone will be crowned, I guarantee.

An Uninteresting ACC Matchup

Boston College 22, Virginia Tech 3 - In between Penguin commercial breaks, I caught this matchup of ACCholes. I kept watching in the hope of a blocked punt, long kick return, or perhaps a field goal blocked and returned for a touchdown. But there was no BeamerBall to be had on this night. The only life VATech showed was some in-fighting between two of their defensive players after a guy named Kevin Challenger from BC went totally uncovered in the end zone for a back-breaking TD. By the way, Kevin Challenger is one of the great names in sports history. He has to get drafted. And he plays opposite Tony Gonzalez, of all people.

We had plenty of time to catch up with ESPN analyst Doug Flutie, who seems to annoy me a little more each time I see him. I'm of the belief that Flutie is a bit of a dork, and also a bit of an "attention whore". He's 43 years old and he still brings a baseball glove to a game like he's 10. TV cameras pick it up every single time. And tonight, he showed up in a horrendous BC t-shirt, lest anyone think he could walk into the stadium and not get noticed by every person anyway. He was there to support his nephew Billy Flutie Jr., a stringbean of a backup QB who goes 6'2", 176. We need more celebrities in the booth. Keep this up this new trend, ESPN.

So BC moves to 5-1, and I assume back into the top 25, where they will linger between #18-22 for the rest of the year as they seemingly do each season. Seriously, does anyone think BC will ever win a national championship? Do people in New England even care?

Virginia Tech moved to 4-2, and as our announcers told us "have to do some soul searching". Soul searching? They have to play football! Yeah, they have some tough games in the next month including Clemson and Miami, but as Bill Parcells would say, "It's not like we're going to Vietnam."

True dat, Tuna.


Seperated at birth:
Va Tech Coach Frank Beamer and the late, great star of Son in Law, Lois and Clark, and The Mighty Ducks, Lane Smith
It's not worth winning if you can't win big