Where is Mondesi? NOT in Miami.

Sorry for the lack of goods today. I've been like Waldo this week. No one knows when or where I'll show up. Geez, even Bill Simmons has been more consistent posting stuff the past few days.

So where was I? To quote the great Latrell Sprewell, I was working on the site that "puts food on my table". I changed some of the color schemes, added some new categories, deleted some stuff...I'm just trying to make it more user-friendly. I have to inspire more collectors to part with some of their treasured mementos. In Pittsburgh, that's no small task. It's nowhere near being done, but I made some progress. I'm also working on an affiliate program that will pay websites/blogs that link to Steel City for any sales and/or consignments generated. Again, it's still in the development stage, but it should be done soon.

Being that I was so engrossed in my work today, I was too focused to even turn on some talk radio in the background. But I feel I should make some sort of comment on the Super Bowl, mostly because I've completely ignored it to this point. So here are some thoughts on "the big game".

I feel absolutely zero excitement going into the game. I don't think it's sour grapes because the Steelers aren't involved; I've enjoyed past non-Steeler Super Bowls just fine (although the presence of the Steelers would have increased the enjoyment tenfold).

I don't like the Colts and I really don't like the Bears. That's probably where my lack of interest starts. I can't stand Tank Johnson, and if it's possible, I dislike him even more after Media Day.

I keep reading story after story on Deadspin about various ESPN personalities chasing women around South Beach, and they haven't even gotten to Berman...yet. So it makes it harder than ever to take them seriously on TV when you hear what they were up to the night before. These guys make Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan look like amateurs.

Then I heard that the NFL Fed-Ex'd an overnight letter to an Indianapolis church, demanding they cancel their Super Bowl party for using the words "Super Bowl" in the title. We can't have a church commit copyright infringement. But if the NFL is so PR-conscious, why make such a move? Because it's a sign of how serious they are about those words. They'll even go after a church. That will make bar owners think twice when they name their event on Sunday.

We have the black coaches storyline, which has been thoroughly overdone as soon as Championship Sunday ended. We have the "Rex Grossman sucks" angle, which is almost to the point that I feel sorry for Grossman. Almost.

We have Jimmy Kimmel sending the two American Idol rejects to Media Day. Yawn.

These teams are doing absolutely NOTHING to even create any fictitious hoopla. There's been no Jerramy Stevens moment, and certainly no pitbull-owning loudmouth to call out the XLI version of Stevens. The coaches like each other; this isn't like Cowher and Billick. If Don King was promoting this game, you'd see Booger McFarland swing a chair at Brian Urlacher at Media Day. Instead we get cliche after cliche about how great the other team is, with teams ever-cautious of supplying bulletin board material. For the people who say sportsmanship is dead, they must've been at the beach this week. It's alive and well, at least for these teams. The Colts and Bears are what's known as a blogger's nightmare.

The game aside, we don't even have an interesting musical act to get quasi-excited about. And I don't care about the music angle, only about the wild-card tendencies of the personality performing. As weird as Prince is, I don't see him whipping it out. Nor would I want to see that. Ditto Billy Joel.

And the commercials? We've already seen the K-Fed spot. Well done, but memo to Nationwide: try to keep better tabs on who has your commercial in the future. Nothing like paying big bucks for a Super Bowl ad that millions of people have already seen on the internet. Yes, millions have seen it, and that's the name of the game. But people will watch anything on the net featuring K-Fed. Just pick out a YouTube video, slap a Nationwide logo on it, and voila! Millions saved.

Few, if any, are giving the Bears a shot to win. I find this hilarious, since "Peyton Manning is a choke artist" jokes were this nation's favorite pastime for the past nine years. I guess all it takes is a win over the storied Patriots to wipe that out. Just ignore the fact that Manning may or may not have an injured thumb and also ignore the fact that he is still Peyton Manning and could snap at any time. Everyone else is.

On the flip side, Rex Grossman inspires no one except for bartenders waiting on a good night of tips. He is exciting and nauseating in consecutive plays. Blitz him and he blindly throws the ball up for grabs. Give him time and he blindly throws the ball up for grabs. Yet he continues to win and win and win. Why not give the Bears a chance? They could absolutely win this game. In a league where the Raiders beat the defending Super Bowl champions, the Bears could beat the Colts. And they just might.

Bill Cowher = Bully

I'm not a big fan of the Tuesday Cowher Press Conferences...never have been, actually. The only useful information that comes out are the injuries, such as "Troy with a foot", or "Sean with a toe". But what went on at today's circus disguised as a dispersal of information and answers is a major reason why.

Mr. Bill, like many NFL coaches, is too important for his own good. That's why he's where he is. Like Bill Parcells, or Brian Billick, or in baseball, Tony LaRussa, he has a healthy ego. But the problem is that he has still yet to harness when to turn that ego on and off. During an emotional football game, displaying that self-importance is not only fine, it's necessary. But when we're two days removed from a game in which he wasn't even emotional in, he picks now to be Mr. Difficult with the media. He treats reporters like they are beneath him...rungs beneath him. To steal a line from the classic Bill Murray film What About Bob, "he's so far above us, we're like ropes on the Goodyear Blimp."

Cowher is a football coach, not a President, a Prime Minister, or Secretary of Defense. Yet the press conferences carry the tone of a Cuban Missile Crisis. You're preparing for Denver this week, Bill, not a stealth military attack at dawn.

On a legitimate question about Roethlisberger's health asked by Bob Smizik, Cowher responded with an abrupt "no" and then quickly moved to the next question. Congratulations, Bill, you just punked an 82-year-old sportswriter. Yet you can't discipline your own team when they're pushing guys who are already out of bounds and doing legs kicks while losing to the worst team in the league.

Smizik should do the Larry Foote stomp. That's been proven to not land anyone in Bill's doghouse.

You can hear the Smizik exchange about halfway through this clip of today's press conference. However, that's not even the best part. Listen for a little longer, and you'll get this frustrated rant:

"It's week to week...it's week to week...it's WEEK TO WEEK!" when asked about Jeff Hartings' knee.

Cowher is wound up pretty tight these days. Losing to Art Shell will have that effect on a coach. What he needs to be most of all is a leader, not a media bully. If not, we'll have our own version of the Dennis Green clip to play ad nauseam soon enough. And someone will be crowned, I guarantee.

Breaking Down the 2006 Steelers Schedule

The 2006 NFL season will be my first chance to enjoy a season of the black and gold defending their Lombardi Trophy. I'm so excited, I decided to share my enthusiasm and give you an advance preview of each game. Because if there's a topic that doesn't get the attention it deserves, it's the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Week One:

Sept 7 (Thursday Night)- Miami at Pittsburgh

Lots of storylines here...the Steelers' first game in their title defense, the first regular season game for the new NBC team, and the Steelers' home opener, all wrapped into one. Plus, this may be the most colorful NFL game in regular season history. Where else could you see Bob Costas, John Madden, Ben Roethlisberger, Peter King, Bill Cowher, Zach Thomas, Cris Collinsworth, Nick Saban, Jerome Bettis, Marcus Vick, Joey Harrington, Daunte Culpepper, Troy Polamalu, Sterling Sharpe, AND Hines Ward?

Pittsburgh-area McDonald's should get extra security when New Mexico rolls into town

Week Two:

Sept 18 (Monday Night) Steelers at Jacksonville

This just in: Fred Taylor is already questionable for this game. For those of you watching at home, do note that Tony Kornheiser, Joe Theismann, and Mike Tirico are the new voices of Monday Night Football. Might be a good night to turn down the TV and turn up the radio

I can't wait to hear Mr. Tony complain about staying up past his bedtime

Week Three:

Sept 24 - Cincinnati at Steelers

QB Anthony Wright and the 0-2 Bengals face a crucial matchup at Heinz Field. After injuries to Rudi Johnson, Chad Johnson, and running back coach Jim Anderson in week one, Coach Marvin Lewis signs Lawrence Phillips, Rae Carruth, and O.J. Simpson as replacements.

Phillips, Carruth, and OJ: future Bengals all

Week Four:

Bye Week

I can only hope someone follows Santonio Holmes around with a camcorder this week.

Santonio Holmes shares a smile with Mr. Laura Quinn

Week Five:

Oct 8 (Sunday Night)- Steelers at San Diego

The greatest 9-7 team in the history of organized team sports gets a prime-time rematch with the Steelers to try and avenge their 2005 Monday Night loss. The San Diego front office uses this game to reflect on the wisdom of choosing Philip Rivers over Ben Roethlisberger.

Is it me, or is this bobblehead cross-eyed?

Week Six:

Oct 15- Kansas City at Steelers

Larry Johnson returns to the state of Pennsylvania, where he ran for 2,143 yards as a senior in 2002 at Penn State. Johnson was never given the ball more than 75 times in a season previous to '02 by coaching legend Joe Paterno, who decided he would rather take his chances with studs like Eric McCoo and Rashard Casey.

Joe Paterno and long lost brother Elmer of Crank Yankers

Week Seven:

Oct 22- Steelers at Atlanta

The Steelers try to avenge their 2002 tie against Ron Mexico and Team Blank. Steeler fans get a first-hand look at Falcons running back T.J. Duckett, who's been close to joining the Steelers for four consecutive offseasons.

Say "corporate synergy"!

Week Eight:

Oct 29-Steelers at Oakland

Al Davis vs. Dan Rooney. Aaron Brooks vs. Ben Roethlisberger. Art Shell vs. Bill Cowher. Jarod Cooper vs. Troy Polamalu. Yep, I think the Steelers are looking good in every possible matchup for this one. Except for wide receiver. And I don't mean Randy Moss. Jerry Porter may be a clown, but check out those abs (and Million Dollar Man belt)!


Week Nine:

Nov 5- Denver at Steelers

Mad running back scientist Mike Shanahan brings his AFC West-leading Broncos to Heinz Field, led by new starting RB Nick Lachey, who is on pace for over 1,800 yards.

Shanahan is hoping the Lachey Experiment turns out better than the Clarett Experiment

Week 10:

Nov 12- New Orleans at Steelers

A highly anticipated game in Pittsburgh, it will be the first Heinz Field appearance of heralded rookie Reggie Bush. In other news, the NFL has announced that proceeds from this game will go to the New York Giants

It's about time the Giants get a break from the NFL

Week 11:

Nov 19- Steelers at Cleveland

The game will be a blowout, that's not even a question. The real story will be the NFL photographers hoping for the next great James Harrison Photo Op.

Week 12:

Nov 26- Steelers at Baltimore

The Steelers get their first look at Steve McNair in a Ravens uniform. I'm guessing it won't look much different than McNair in a Titans uniform. Which means you can enjoy one or more choices from the McNair Injury Buffet of: Sternum, back, pecs, ankle, calf, finger, ribs, toe, shoulder, elbow, or thumb on this Sunday afternoon.

Try and guess where McNair will be injured

Week 13:

Dec 3- Tampa Bay at Steelers

Jon Gruden and Bill Cowher square off to see who can get more annoyed, sneering, spitting face-time. The final score will be of no consequence.

Might want to Tivo this one


Week 14:

Dec 7 (Thursday Night)- Cleveland at Steelers

The city of Pittsburgh nearly burns to the ground when most Steeler fans realize they don't get the NFL network. Steeler fans are joyous when they find out it will be broadcast locally, but become upset once again when they find out they'll have to sit through another pregame hosted by Sally Wiggin.

This all could have been averted if you upgraded your cable package

Week 15:

Dec 17- Steelers at Carolina

A possible Super Bowl matchup, and a good chance for Bill Cowher to check out the team he'll be coaching in 2008.

Hank Williams Jr. displays the sign Bill Cowher made for him


Week 16:

Dec 24- Baltimore at Steelers

The absence of Kordell Stewart on the Ravens' roster ruins Christmas for thousands of drunken Steeler fans who fear there will be no one to jeer. Fortunately, the presence of Ray Lewis, Brian Billick, and Jamal Lewis gives the fans plenty of worthy alternatives.

Yes, Brian Billick was really on the Match Game


Week 17:

Dec 31- Steelers at Cincinnati

Bengal fans get their long-awaited revenge on the Steelers. But in the first quarter, Brett Keisel tears Carson Palmer's other ACL, thus sending the Bengals into a second consecutive offseason of chaos that they can blame on the Steelers.

Feb 4, 2007:
Super Bowl XLI, Miami-

Book your hotels and buy your tickets now. The Steelers only win Super Bowls in increments of two.