A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN: KORDELL STEWART AND THE UFL

Before your heart skips a beat, don't worry - there is no football comeback in the works (unlike in 2008, when he insisted he wasn't retired). But former Steeler QB does have a gig with the new league as a broadcaster on their Versus Network-televised games this season.

The man we loved to love and later loved to hate will be teamed in a booth with former NCAA/CFL/NFL star Doug Flutie, with Dave Sims of ESPN Plus fame doing play-by-play and Anita Marks of 105.7 The Fan in Baltimore in the Erin Andrews role. According to her Wikipedia page, Marks already appeared in Playboy in 2002, so internet pervs won't have to wait for a peephole video to surface on this sideline reporter.

Stewart, now based out of Atlanta and married with a five-year-old son, has been seen on ESPN from time-to-time on college and pro football detail. I was trying to find some recent video clips to round out the post (here's one where Kordell talks about Mike Vick's return), but I stumbled upon this vintage Kordell appearance where he gets slimed on Nickelodeon's Figure it Out, and it's much more interesting.

Flutie, Kordell will work UFL games [PFT]

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An Uninteresting ACC Matchup

Boston College 22, Virginia Tech 3 - In between Penguin commercial breaks, I caught this matchup of ACCholes. I kept watching in the hope of a blocked punt, long kick return, or perhaps a field goal blocked and returned for a touchdown. But there was no BeamerBall to be had on this night. The only life VATech showed was some in-fighting between two of their defensive players after a guy named Kevin Challenger from BC went totally uncovered in the end zone for a back-breaking TD. By the way, Kevin Challenger is one of the great names in sports history. He has to get drafted. And he plays opposite Tony Gonzalez, of all people.

We had plenty of time to catch up with ESPN analyst Doug Flutie, who seems to annoy me a little more each time I see him. I'm of the belief that Flutie is a bit of a dork, and also a bit of an "attention whore". He's 43 years old and he still brings a baseball glove to a game like he's 10. TV cameras pick it up every single time. And tonight, he showed up in a horrendous BC t-shirt, lest anyone think he could walk into the stadium and not get noticed by every person anyway. He was there to support his nephew Billy Flutie Jr., a stringbean of a backup QB who goes 6'2", 176. We need more celebrities in the booth. Keep this up this new trend, ESPN.

So BC moves to 5-1, and I assume back into the top 25, where they will linger between #18-22 for the rest of the year as they seemingly do each season. Seriously, does anyone think BC will ever win a national championship? Do people in New England even care?

Virginia Tech moved to 4-2, and as our announcers told us "have to do some soul searching". Soul searching? They have to play football! Yeah, they have some tough games in the next month including Clemson and Miami, but as Bill Parcells would say, "It's not like we're going to Vietnam."

True dat, Tuna.


Seperated at birth:
Va Tech Coach Frank Beamer and the late, great star of Son in Law, Lois and Clark, and The Mighty Ducks, Lane Smith
It's not worth winning if you can't win big