The News

--The Pens reached 100 points but suffered a 2-1 loss at the hands of the New York Rangers on Monday night.

Former Little League World Series hero Chris Drury put the winner past MAF at 1:46 of OT.

--JoePa turned down a chance to meet with Bill Clinton during his recent State College visit. Why? JoePa's a Republican. Which is interesting, considering son Jay Paterno is a staunch supporter of Barack Obama.

--You absolutely have to read this article about the new breed of "rock star" superintendents. Unreal.

--Did you catch the Milwaukee Brewers lineup, with Jason Kendall batting ninth?

"We've done studies on this," manager Ned Yost said. "It's not just that we come up one day and say, 'You know, Jason Kendall's gonna hit ninth.'

--Slate.com recently had an article entitled, "How to root for one of the most mediocre sports teams ever", about, as you guessed, the Pirates. I actually got a mention in the article. Good to see that I'm so closely associated with mediocrity.

--How about some video of a fight in the stands at the Red Sox-Dodgers LA Coliseum exhibition game?

--Now you can Rent Dennis Rodman to Help You Dye Your Hair

--Here's a fresh article on the karate-chopping Greg Lloyd, who's had some legal troubles of his own in recent years.

--Just when you thought the Steelers’ offseason troubles were over, this happens…

"Davenport dumps out second seed Ivanovic”

Thankfully, it was a story about tennis.

--Here's the real story about Wrestlemania: the pyrotechnic malfunction that left dozens in the stands injured. Says With Leather: "A suspended cable used for launching fireworks above the crowd snapped, showering the crowd of easily amused simpletons with sparks and rockets."

--Found this buried in last week's "News" folder, but here's a very interesting read about a now-former Michigan Wolverine blasting off on Rich Rodriguez.

--Ben Roethlisberger is set to return to Findlay, Ohio, on Saturday night, April 5th for his second annual fundraiser, "The Ben Roethlisberger Challenge".

--Is Idaho Football too sexy?

--The experts think that Branden Albert will be your Pittsburgh Steeler first-round draft pick.

--Barack Obama bowled a 37 in Altoona. 37? Here's the video.

--Bugs and Cranks interviewed the author of a Roberto Clemente graphic novel.

--Buy Michael Jordan's old waterbed!


--Joe Theismann has a restaurant? Who knew? Well, probably a lot of people. But not I.

--Giant Eagle is claiming that they were overcharged for $200 million worth of chocolate between 2002-2007.

--From the "Let's Stop at the Headline" Department: 14 dead turtles found in feces-filled Uniontown house.

A LIST OF TODAY'S TOP LISTS
Top 10 most (and least) popular jerseys from the past 10 years
12 surprisingly and mind-numbingly controversial Wikipedia pages
The 10 Craziest Scientific Experiments Ever Conducted
The 7 Ballsiest Sports Cheats Ever

Monday Morning Wrapup: Disaster for Pittsburgh Sports

This weekend was an unmitigated disaster for the Pittsburgh sports fan. Pitt loses at South Florida, the Pens drop a contest in San Jose, and the Steelers, well, they were the Steelers again. I think Mayor Ravenstahl must have proclaimed this "Be Kinda Cleveland Weekend" but forgot to inform the fans in advance.

South Florida 22, Pitt 12- Pitt TE Darrell Strong, who watched one too many Steeler games this season, drew a crucial 15-yard unsportsmanlike with his flipping off of the South Florida fans. He has been suspended indefinitely for his stupid play. At least one coach in town disciplines his players for senseless, back-breaking penalties.

Sharks 3, Pens 2- Evgeni Malkin is held goal-less, Mark Eaton is injured on a dirty hit, the Pens have a goal disallowed that should have counted...this was a bummer all around. And then we had to see Dan Potash do LA with Colby Armstrong and Ryan Whitney in between periods.

Wisconsin 13, Penn State 3- JoePa goes down on a late hit...I think it was by Joey Porter...and was carted off. Early word is a torn ACL and MCL, and he'll train with Daunte Culpepper to rehab in time for opening day next season.

Lions 30, Falcons 14- Mr. Engraver, you might want to wait on that "MICHAEL VICK" inscription on the MVP trophy.

Dolphins 31, Bears 13- Surprisingly, it looks like Joe Theismann's prediction for an undefeated Bears season was wrong. Can't wait to see how they do on their three-game road trip of the Giants, Jets and Patriots.

Bills 24, Packers 10- This is what Brett Favre came back for: a cold Sunday afternoon in Buffalo losing to a 2-win Bills team quarterbacked by JP Losman.

Redskins 22, Cowboys 19- I really feel bad for the Cowboys, losing on the sequence of a blocked Mike Vanderjagt field goal, a 15-yard facemask, and a game-ending field goal by Nick Novak. Then I remembered that the Cowboys have Terrell Owens, are coached by Bill Parcells, and are owned by Jerry Jones. And I felt much better. By the way, Tony Romo is Joe Montana, Brett Favre, Tom Brady, Joe Namath, Dan Marino, Terry Bradshaw, and John Elway rolled into one, and multiplied by 50.

Ravens 26, Bengals 20- If it weren't for his media whoring during each week, would we realize Chad Johnson was even playing this year? A couple things jump out at me from this game: Cincy RB Chris Perry fumbled twice, meaning he will probably be a Steeler in the future; TJ Houshmandzadeh had the most impressive on-field helmet-spike I've seen in ages; the AFC North probably has the worst collection of offensive lines in the NFL; and that meaningless Carson Palmer interception at the end of the game gave negative points to thousands of fantasy footballers across the country.

Saints 31, Bucs 14- Did anyone notice Reggie Bush's rushing stats for this game? 11 carries, minus-5 yards! For the year...81 carries, 207 yards (2.55 YPC)...46 catches, but for only 312 yards (6.7 YPC)...0 offensive TDs? Can I be the first to suggest too many Subway subs with Jon Lovitz? On the Bucs side, this is the fifth game this season that Cadillac Williams rushed for 48 yards or less. The Bucs record is a Cowher-esque 0-5 in contests where the running game stalls.

49ers 9, Vikings 3- When Alex Smith faces off against Brad Johnson, you can throw out all the records.

Chargers 32, Browns 26- Cleveland keeps pace with their AFC North brethren in dropping a close one to San Diego. The Charlie Frye Era in Cleveland has not started as well as, say, the 2004 Ben Roethlisberger Era in Pittsburgh. Which is to say, no 15-1 record, no playoffs, and no Charlie Frye Beef Jerky.

Giants 14, Texans 10- Tiki "Fox and Friends" Barber chooses Game 8 to get into the scoring column. Eli Manning contributes another victory to the Manning Family Pot for 2006, which now stands at 14-2. Sean Salisbury has just predicted a Giants-Colts Super Bowl. Not one, but TWO Mannings in a Super Bowl. Does Sean ever watch the playoffs, or is he more of a "regular season" kinda guy?

Colts 27, Patriots 20- I would have been happy seeing either of these teams lose. The Patriots, who value kickers and wide receivers as much as the Steelers value holding onto the football, saw four INTs from their passing attack and a missed field goal from their rookie kicker. And this happened while their all-time leading scorer accounted for 9 of the Colts' 27 points. I hope all of that $10 million in cap room keeps you warm at night, Bill Belichick. And then we have Indy fans, who are getting excited again for a title run. They're like Charlie Brown getting the football pulled out from them every year. It's almost sad.