STEELERS (5-2) 24
BENGALS (2-5) 13
Rub Hines' head...it's good luck!
Clearly I'm kidding with that headline...or am I? Actually, I think reality is finally setting in with our AFC North neighbors. The Steelers' 24-13 win yesterday seemed, at least to me, to display a Bengal team with a lot less life than in recent years.
After witnessing another blahse performance by Chad Johnson against the black and gold (5 catches, 51 yards), I was compelled to look up his game-by-game history against the Steelers to prove that I wasn't just imagining things. My findings (catches, yards, TDs):
2001: 5-52-0 and 2-25-0
2002: 7-71-0 and 7-152-0
2003: 4-77-0 and 7-117-1
2004: 4-54-0 and 5-80-1
2005: 4-94-0 and 5-54-0 [Postseason vs. Steelers: 4-59-0]
2006: 1-11-0 and 4-53-0
Chad Johnson Career vs. Steelers (counting playoff game): 64 catches, 950 yards, 2 TD
Chad Johnson Career average vs. Steelers: 4 catches - 59 yards, and a touchdown every 7.5 games
Yep, that's right. The Sideline Hall of Famer has scored 2 touchdowns in 15 career games against the Steelers. And considering the emphasis that the Bengals put on their Steeler matchups (a.k.a. "Steeler Week"), I'm suggesting that Johnson is not a big-game player.
Keep waiting, 85
Rather than waste any more time on a team going nowhere, I'd rather talk about an impressive all-around performance by the Steelers: they threw the ball, they ran the ball, they defended the run, they defended the pass, they created turnovers (OK, turnover)...they completely outclassed the Bengals, as usual.
Willie Parker was excellent, rambling for 126 yards and a TD on 26 carries. His longs, as I always point out for those who like to pretend they never happened, were 17 and 32 yards. For anyone who reads these weekly wrapups, you've probably noticed a trend: Parker is getting at least two sizable runs in each game. I'd rather have a gamebreaker like that than three yards, three yards, three yards, 4th-and-1.
Hines Ward had another strong performance, reeling in 8 catches for 88 yards and 2 TDs, giving him a total of 15 catches in the last two games. Ward started the season slowly, with just 9 catches in the first three games, but his presence has done nothing but strengthen the passing attack.
Santonio Holmes continued his domination in the state of Ohio, adding 6 catches for 87 yards. This all added up to a 19-26, 230 yard, 2 TD game for Large Ben. Roethlisberger repeatedly avoided the rush, wiggled out of potential sacks, and extended plays far beyond what was accepted.
With that being said, I must bring up this point: during the CBS broadcast, Dick Enberg was talking about Ben's last two "first halves" (Cincy and Denver), spouting off some impressive stats. Don't quote me, but it was something along the lines of 22-29, 5 TDs. It was a nice little story. Of course, Randy Cross had to immediately spoil the moment by saying, "Yeah...that would be a good half for Tom Brady."
Newest member of the Tom Brady Man-Crush Club
You see, comments like that are why people hate the Patriots and why people equally hate most announcers. They're watching a Steelers-Bengals game, witnessing an impressive performance by the Steelers QB, and we're being beat over the head with more Patriots banter.
And if I may continue my rant on telecasts, can we please put a moratorium on people trying to being funny and say when reading highlights, "Tom Brady...he's pretty good."
Ha ha ha. It's funny because the announcer is pretending that Tom Brady isn't any good, when he obviously is. It would be funnier if:
A. The joke hasn't been done 800 times already, or
B. The announcer was using it in reference to, say, Cleo Lemon or Damon Huard.
Obviously, I can't wait for a week's worth of build up for another Patriots regular season game next Sunday.
For my next rant, I'd like to talk about Carson Palmer, the ringless man universally regarded as better than Ben Roethlisberger. Once again, the QBs went head-to-head, and once again, Palmer went home on the losing end. For those of you scoring at home, the career scoreboard now looks like this: Roethlisberger 5, Palmer 2. Keep the stats, give me the wins. I'd take Roethlisberger over Palmer 100 times out of 100.
That's all the rants and Bengal/Patriot hatred I have in me for one morning. Regardless of how horrible their offense is, I'm sure Baltimore will put up a fight next Monday night, so count on another spiritied recap for a hated divisional opponent.
Thoughts from around the game, around the league, and around the sports world:
--Congrats to the Boston Red Sox on winning the World Series. It couldn't happen to a more humble, classy, non-obnoxious fan base. I can only hope that the Patriots win the Super Bowl, Boston College wins the BCS, the Celtics win the NBA Championship and the Bruins win the Stanley Cup.
--I was listening to ESPN radio on Friday and caught some of their "Fantasy Expert", Matthew Berry. You know, The Talented Mr. Roto? This guy couldn't talk up Brian Griese enough for the Bears game against Detroit. He hyped him to the point that you thought Griese would have 500 yards and 8 touchdowns, you know, just like Tom Brady has in the first half. He stopped just short of telling the host of the show to start Griese in front of Peyton Manning. Griese finished with 208 yards and 4 INTs. If there is a job that pays you for predictions and analysis like that, where do I sign up?
--Derek Anderson had another big game for the Browns yesterday. But have you noticed his opponents in these games? He's gone back to back against 0-8 St. Louis and 0-8 Miami. He also had a big game against the Bengals and their horrible defense. Of course, against the Steelers, his passer rating was 65, the Patriots 59, and Oakland (who actually has a good defense), 57. So let's not induct him into Canton alongside Chad Johnson just yet.
--The Jets-Bills game featured appearances by not one, not two, but four horrible QBs: JP Losman, Trent Edwards, Chad Pennington, and Kellen Clemens. Not surprisingly, a total of 16 points were scored.
--Everyone enjoy that Dolphins-Giants game from Foggy Londontown yesterday? NFL Globalization...feel the excitement!
--Vince Young continues to amaze me. 6 completions, 42 yards, and the Titans win yet again. I don't get it either.
--What's a more crushing defeat: the way Pitt lost on Saturday or the way Penn State lost Saturday?
