Big Lead Sports Bar

11/20/2008

BREAKING: OCHO CINCO WILL NOT PLAY TONIGHT



That's right...Chad Javon Johnson Ocho Cinco Abdul-Jabbar will not be playing tonight against the Steelers, as per a statement just released from the team:

"Bengals wide receiver Chad Ocho Cinco will be deactivated for tonight's game at Pittsburgh, for violation of a team rule," the statement says. "The Bengals will have no further comment until after the game."

OK, let's turn this into a contest. Whoever comments with the best (and by best, I mean funniest) guess as to what the violation was gets a nice prize from the newly-created Mondesi's House Mystery Prize Box. Seriously.

MANY thanks to reader Josh Marotti, a Steeler fan stranded in Cincinnati, for the tip.

Send your news, tips, and links to Mondesishouse@gmail.com.

31 comments:

HotDog_Zanzabar said...

He took a Chinedum Ndukwe and forgot to flush in the team restroom

Josh said...

He exposed his vagina?

Get Fresh Designs said...

He changed his name yet again, this time to Suck It Marvin.

AJ said...

He wore a Limas Sweed jersey to a team meeting.

Yinz Daddy said...

Unspecified team violation #132: Dipping of one's bean bags in Carson Palmer's Cornhole.

Tom said...

He revealed to the media that he too didn't know that an NFL game could end in a tie.

poor_tom said...

He melted Keith Rivers' jaw wiring down to make the bestest Grillz ever?

Billy Bearcat said...

He was seen in Vegas with Javon Walker "making it rain."

Josh said...

He loaded a van full of 16 year old girls, gave them booze, and took them to Chris Henry's house

Josh said...

He kept tackling Cedric Benson for a 3 yard loss in practice

Broke But Still Drinking said...

Following in the footsteps of Tom Brady, Cico submitted the following photo to People's "Sexiest Man Alive" contest. Sources reveal it is against Bengal's team policy to enter such competitions during regular season play.

Charlie Hildbold said...

As reported by the Cincy Newspaper:
"The Bengals brought the wrong jersey with them to the game...they accidentally brought Keith Rivers #58 and Ocho Cinco didn't want to "look retarded wearing the wrong number". Plus, Ocho Cinco added, If I wear 58 I run the risk of Hines Ward hitting me...and no one wants that"

Justin said...

Hoping this reference doesn't go too far back...

Mr. Ocho Cinco implied that Carson Palmer is gay. "If it looks like a rat and smells like a rat, by golly, it is a rat. I mean, come on, he used to play for a team called the Trojans. You know how those ancient Greeks rolled."

nipsy3215 said...

After Ryan Fitzpatrick witnessed Johnson exit the toilet stall of the Belle Vernon wal mart without washing his hands, he immediately went to Marvin Lewis and said "there's no way I'm touching that ball after passing it to him."

78Deville said...

Unspecified team violation #22 Having no fines for conduct, celebration penalties, or (and here's where his violation comes into play) no arrests or off the field issues.

DarkHelmet said...

he was caught driving nueve cinco in a cinco cinco.

Reggie Dunlop said...

dark helmet wins

Brett said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Justin said...

"dark helmet wins"

I don't get his joke. :(

Frankly, I think most of these, mine included, are desperate attempts to catch up with HotDog_Zanzabar's comment anyway.

Eric Sloan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
D. C. said...

He was the bear.

http://img505.imageshack.us/img505/3404/lolzo5im4.jpg

BURGH08 said...

There once was a Bengal receiver,

Who could play, but now is a deceiver

His skills have gone south,

All that's left is his mouth,

That's why Marv is no longer a believer.

GMoney said...

He's holed up in a hotel room with Stanley Williams.

Brett said...

He was caught taking a dump in one of Najeh Davenport's shoes

okel dokel said...

This is Mike Brown's way of protesting the fact that "Masillion High School is ahead of us (Bengals)"

LOLgwins said...

He's out with a case of the gays.

Mike said...

he showed up late,punched his dog,got caught with a kilo of pure Columbian,had to ask Ray Ray if he should play,told Marvin that he loved him,told Santa he loved him,said he wouldn't play for a team that tied..wouldn't play for a team that can't beat the Browns,wouldn't play for a team who's QB likes cornholing

Scott said...

Guys, it's right there in the official NFL injury report ...

CINCINNATI BENGALS at PITTSBURGH STEELERS — BENGALS: OUT: WR Antonio Chatman (neck), DE Eric Henderson (neck), LB Abdul Hodge (elbow), T Levi Jones (back), G Scott Kooistra (knee), S Chinedum Ndukwe (foot), WR Chad Ocho Cinco (douchebaggery), DE Antwan Odom (shoulder), QB Carson Palmer (right elbow), G Andrew Whitworth (ankle). DOUBTFUL: WR Jerome Simpson (ankle). QUESTIONABLE: CB Johnathan Joseph (foot). PROBABLE: WR Andre Caldwell (foot), WR T.J. Houshmandzadeh (back), TE Reggie Kelly (ankle), RB Kenny Watson (shoulder). STEELERS: OUT: CB Bryant McFadden (forearm), T Marvel Smith (back), CB Deshea Townsend (hamstring). QUESTIONABLE: TE Matt Spaeth (wrist).

Vince said...

He was caught buying Jordan Staal beer...

Bob T said...

He went to the bar last night and had one too many Frosty Ruckers.

erwicker said...

He revealed to the media that he too didn't know that an NFL game could end in a tie.

free standing toilet paper holder