Seattle Cook Adds Secret Sauce to Steeler Fan's Burger

In today's latest example that Seahawk fans dwell on that past a little too much, a Seattle fast-food cook was accused of spitting on a hamburger ordered by a man wearing Steelers attire. I'm guessing this happened because Seahawk fans feel the game was poorly officiated, as this Steeler fan obviously had a hand in the outcome.

The greatest part of the story was that when police visited the cook's house, they smelled marijuana in addition to the implied scent of sour grapes. The cook was later released after being booked for investigation of fourth-degree assault and possession of marijuana.

Seattle fans, you're just embarrassing yourselves at this point. A pot-smoking burger cook spitting on a hamburger, and two years after the fact?

But you have to put yourself in this guy's shoes. The Seattle Supersonics are leaving town, and you're resigned to asking Bill Simmons for help. You've already waved goodbye to A-Rod, Ken Griffey, Jr., and Randy Johnson. It rains all the time. Starbucks has overexpanded and is laying people off. And grunge music just doesn't sell like it used to.

So all of your hopes are pinned on the Seahawks, and that would make anyone depressed. This is a team that lists Franco Harris as one of their four Hall of Famers. They gave an 8-year, $62 million deal to Shaun Alexander, only to watch him pack it in. They employed human lowlife Jerramy Stevens. They got back at the Vikings' signing of Steve Hutchinson by signing WR Nate Burleson to a seven-year $49 million offer sheet. That's a fair trade. They watched Charlie Frye against the Steelers in week one and said, "Is there any way we could pry him away?"

Obviously, this is a desperate fan base. So if spitting on a Steeler fan's hamburger is going to make their day a little brighter, then maybe we shouldn't be so quick to judge them.

Seattle cook accused of spitting on Steeler fan's burger [PG]

Monday Morning Wrapup

Redskins 17, Panthers 13- Carolina does just enough to create doubt in their team down the stretch; and did you notice TJ Duckett's 24 yards rushing for the Redskins? All those trade rumors were right: he would have fit right in with the Steelers.

Dolphins 27, Lions 10- If you have zero expectations for a game, and it still underperforms, how do you describe it? How about a recap, which sounds completely made up, but isn't: Joey Harrington getting cobbler from Phil Simms' Mom after a Gatorade shower.

Cowboys 38, Bucs 10- Before Tony Romo's head gets too big, he should look across the field at fellow first-year starter Bruce Gradkowski. Just a few weeks ago, he's engineering come-from-behind, dramatic wins. Now, he's completing 10 passes and getting blown out by 28 in front of the entire nation. Fame is fleeting, Mr. Romo. Before soon, you'll go back to your house of ribs.
Better keep up those wins, Romo. Jessica Simpson's not dating a rib jockey.

Chiefs 19, Broncos 10- And Jake Plummer is finally put out of his misery by "The Punisher", a.k.a. Mike Shanahan. Unfortunately, I missed this game, as ours was one of millions of households who did not have access to the NFL Network. I can only hope that the network will air ads every commercial break urging us to bother our local cable operator and tell them to pay the already-rich NFL even more money.

Vikings 31, Cardinals 26- Did I read these stats right? The Cardinals attempted 51 passes and 6 runs? At 2-9, I guess you could say that angle didn't work either, Denny.

Rams 20, 49ers 17- Antonio Bryant: 2 catches, 53 yards, no speeding tickets for going 100 in his Lamborghini.

Jets 26, Texans 11- The leading rushers in this one: Wali Lundy with 11 yards for Houston, and Leon "Middle Finger" Washington with 17 for the Jets. Who were the offensive coordinators, Dennis Green and Dennis Green?
Those aren't middle fingers. He's just predicting Wali Lundy's 11 yards on Sunday.

Bills 27, Jaguars 24- Remember when the Steelers played Jacksonville on Monday Night Football? And all that talk about how the national media doesn't respect the Jaguars? Seems like eons ago. Oh well, at least Matt Jones scored a touchdown for Tony Kornheiser's fantasy team.

Bengals 30, Browns 0- Continuing my theme of teams who can't run the ball, Cleveland was led by Jerome Harrison with 18 yards. Meanwhile, Charlie Frye is becoming the Browns QB we all hoped he would become, with 4 interceptions and 1 jersey-grabbing altercation courtesy of Braylon Edwards.

Chargers 21, Raiders 14- Before we induct Phil Rivers into the 2006 NFL Hall of Fame class alongside Tony Romo and Rex Grossman (but only the Rex Grossman from weeks 1-5), note Rivers' 133 yard/0 TD/1 INT performance against the 2-9 Raiders. But once again, the Chargers are bailed out by Ladainian Tomlinson, who ran for two touchdowns, threw for their third, blanketed Randy Moss all day, and delivered a baby panda at the San Diego Zoo.

Patriots 17, Bears 13- The Bears just killed fantasy players in this one. Rex Grossman throws not one, not two, but three interceptions. And Thomas Jones finishes with the dreaded 99 yards rushing.

Giants 21, Titans 0- What's that? The Giants lost???? 24-21? They were winning 21-0 with 10 minutes to go! What's that? They allowed 24 points in the 4th quarter? Vince Young accounted for all of the touchdowns? The same Vince Young who missed the game flight last week? And Eli Manning threw a back-breaking interception with 44 seconds to go? The same Eli Manning who "grew up" in week two? The same Eli Manning who has the worst passer rating of any QB since 2004? OK, you got me. What are you going to tell me next...the defending Super Bowl champs are 4-7 and have been shut out twice?

Colts 45, Eagles 21- Well, Philly's lost 5 of 6 and Donovan McNabb, so we can officially write off a second consecutive season. And how about those Colts? Look at Sunday's stats: Joseph Addai, Edgerrin James' replacement, runs for 171 yards and 4 TDs. The man he replaced had 4 carries for 15 yards. I can emphatically say that this is definitely the year for the Colts. Not like in 2005, or 2004, or 2003, or even 2002. This team is different. It's special.

It's Always Worse in Cleveland

As bad as football matters are in Pittsburgh, we can always take solace in the fact that things are just as bad, if not worse, in Cleveland. If you're frustrated this season, just imagine being the fan of the only team to never appear in or host a Super Bowl. They haven't won anything since the NFL Championship in 1964, and the drought doesn't look to end anytime soon. So here is a reader submission piece from loyal Mondesi reader and frustrated Browns fan TJ from Cleveland.

**DISCLAIMER** I am NOT a Pittsburgh Steelers fan. I am quite the opposite - I am a Cleveland Browns fan, born and raised in what many call “The Mistake by the Lake”. So, at first glance, that pretty much makes me anti-all things Mondesi, I know. However, having lived in both cities during my short life, I do share a frustration that many here have expressed about “yinz Stillers”: the unexplainable haste to crucify the QB when things go wrong. (That, and having know Raul for several years doesn't hurt either!)

Get Rid of Frye? Get A Life…For Now

It appears that after going 4-9 after only 13 career games behind a horrible offensive line, the Cleveland media and antsy Browns fans apparently have already placed Charlie Frye in the same "HE IS NOT THE ANSWER" basket as his oft-maligned predecessors (Tim Couch, Kelly Holcomb, Jeff Garcia, and Trent Dilfer). Yes, this is the same Cleveland media and group of fans that just 19 months ago hailed Charlie Frye as "a great steal" in the draft and "the next Bernie Kosar", in reference to his local ties and underrated talent. They applauded his ability to “make something out of nothing”, his intelligence on the field, and his mobility, saying that he could become the franchise QB that the Browns haven't had since they returned in 1999. When critics questioned his arm strength, they defensively pointed to another QB that had a "suspect" arm - Joe Montana.

What a difference a year and a half makes. Now, these “reporters” and “fans” (both terms I use loosely) have played the flip-flop game. “Tries to make something out nothing” has become “tries to force a play” and “holds onto the ball too long”. “Awareness on the field” has become “locks onto receivers” and “misses opportunities”. And “mobility” has become “running for his life”.

“Running for his life” is the only criticism that I agree with, although when you think about it, that’s not entirely his fault. The root of the problem is what has plagued this franchise since ’99 (among other things, but that’s for another time), and has started the carousel of QBs as a result: the offensive line. Frye “tries to force a play” because the defensive line is in the backfield 2 seconds after the snap. He “misses opportunities” because he has a 280-pound DE in his face in the blink of an eye. He’s “running for his life” because 4-man defensive fronts achieve penetration, allowing 7 defenders to drop back in coverage, giving him few options.

The offense begins and ends with its line, as any football coach will tell you. The QBs success is largely dependent on the line’s ability to 1) establish the running game, and 2) protect the QB in the pocket. If you don’t think so, you need to look no further than our own division. Ask Carson Palmer and Ben Roethlisberger how important the O-line is to their success.

Palmer had an MVP-type season last year, and was expected to put up Peyton Manning numbers this year. Injuries to Levi Jones, Eric Steinbach, and Willie Anderson have stalled the running game, and put Palmer on his back more times than Jenna Jameson. The lack of pass protection has caused him to force throws, tossing INTs in key situations. Moreover, through 8 games, he’s already been sacked more times than all of last season combined!

Roethlisberger can certainly tell you what the lack on consistency on the OL can give you. He was 27-4 at the beginning of this season, thanks in part to a stellar OL that allowed him to hand off the ball 30+ times a game. When he did pass, he only did so 15-18 times a game, very often with great success. If the pocket did eventually collapse, it always seemed like he got the ball off a split-second before he got hit. (As a Cleveland fan, this drove me nuts, b/c it almost always came in a 3rd down situation). Why, you ask? Because his line enabled him to have that extra second or two to make a quick read and get rid of the ball. This season, the injury to Jeff Hartings, along with poor play from Alan Faneca and Marvel Smith have caused Ben to take sacks and make poor throws.

The thing that gets me is that fans will clamor for a QB change, and if they get it, the new QB is the savior. However, if he isn’t Dan Marino by week 8, they want a QB drafted in the 1st round, or they’re scouring the Free Agent list after the season. Here in Cleveland, I’ve heard fans call for Brady Quinn, Troy Smith, Matt Schaub, Tim Rattay, and even Seneca Wallace!!! Please. You just can’t plug and chug QBs year after year – have we learned nothing from the Butch Davis skill position carousel?

So, to the Cleveland media and the itchy-trigger finger fans: shut up and get a life. The last thing Cleveland needs is a QB change. Drafting a QB would set the Browns back another 3 years. Frye hasn’t even played 1 full season in the NFL. He’s young and inexperienced; he’s going to make bad reads, he’s going to hold onto the ball too long, and, as long as he has no OL, he’s going to run for his life. Do you honestly think that Carson Palmer or Ben Roethlisberger would be any better behind this line? Heck, if lurpy Bernie Kosar was behind this line back in the ‘80s, he’d be in the morgue of failed Quarterbacks, nestled comfortably next to Mike Phipps and Vinny Testaverde.

Frye needs time to develop and mature as a player, so the Browns will be able to make a better call on what kind of QB he is. Remember, Terry Bradshaw threw 6 TD and 24 INT his rookie year. Troy Aikman flat out sucked his first 3 years. I’m sure people were saying the same things about them as they are about Frye, but look how they turned out. Can Frye turn out like them? Maybe yes, maybe no. But without time, a good O-line, and some friggin’ patience, we will never know for sure. Just ask Tim Couch.