EVEN MORE NEWS AND NOTES

--Good luck, Barack. You've got a tough road ahead. [Yahoo!]

--Tina Fey says she's retiring the Sarah Palin impersonation. [Hollywood Insider]

--Could Oprah really become the U.S. Ambassador to England? [Froggy 99.9]

--Peter King has Big Ben 8th in his MVP race, behind Matt Ryan, Jason Campbell, and Drew Brees. Sigh. [SI]

--Joe Paterno is wary of a brushoff from the BCS. Isn't it great to have a coach who can reference his experience as coach in the 1968 season when making a point? [PG]

--TE Heath Miller is doubtful for Sunday's game against the Colts, spoiling that Heath Miller-Dallas Clark showdown the networks would have undoubtedly focused on. [Trib]

--Steelers remain #3 in the cumulative power rankings [Real Clear Sports]

--A New England Patriots cheerleader is fired...for vandalism. [With Leather]

--Michael Crichton, the man who wrote Jurassic Park, just passed away at age 66. [CNN]

--Have you heard about the Nebraska law that allows parents to abandon their kids up to age 18? [York News Times]

--Despite rumors and photoshopped posters, Megan Fox is not going to be Wonder Woman. [WWTDD]

--The Farrelly Brothers are making a Three Stooges film consisting of (4) 20-minute shorts. [Guardian.co.uk]

--Who's down for splitting a case of Baconnaise? [Uncrate]

Send your news, tips, and links to Mondesishouse@gmail.com.

Afternoon Wrapup

-Bad news...Ike Taylor's pimped ride did not sell. It's been all downhill for him since the Super Bowl.

-Speaking of celebrity auto auctions, here's yet another one...a 1983 Ferrari owned by Yngwie Malmsteen, '80s guitar legend and former member of the band "Steeler". Sounds like the perfect band for a Heinz Field concert.

--Kathy Strouse, animal control coordinator for the City of Chesapeake in Virginia, says she can "put [Michael] Vick on that property" where the alleged dogfights occurred.

It was this paragraph that really upset me:

Police conducting a drug investigation at the end of April raided the Vick-owned house and reported finding dozens of dogs, some injured and emaciated. Investigators also discovered items associated with dog fighting, including veterinary supplies, blood-soaked carpeting, treadmills used for training and tools used to pry apart a dog's jaws.

Please, Roger Goodell, suspend this man.

--Why did Alan Faneca decide not to practice the other day? It looks like it was something Mike Tomlin said...

[A Steelers'] player said that, at the May 11 team meeting, Tomlin singled out Faneca and said the Steelers did not want to put up with distractions like the one the guard was causing. Some players were surprised Tomlin cited Faneca, a six-time Pro Bowl selection.

If you're not a Tomlin fan yet, I don't know what you're waiting for.

--Look, a Joe Starkey appearance on ESPN.com!

--Is the Steelers' offense going to look like the Colts' in the near future? Sounds like it to me...

--A survey ranked Pittsburgh as having the second-most courteous drivers in the county. Except for that lady that collided with Big Ben.

--Great news! ESPN's Mike and Mike are hosting this year's Scripps Howard Spelling Bee!

Forced awkward moment!

--My brother had the bright idea of looking on eBay for a shirt like the one Sandman wore in Spiderman 3. Unfortunately, the only one we found was a little out of our league -- it's the one Thomas Haden Church actually wore, and it's currently at $900.

You know this would be a killer beer pong shirt

--Did you know Oprah has six toes? It's a condition called Polydactylism. And here's what Wikipedia has to say about it:

Historically and in the contemporary world, polydactylyism has been associated with witchcraft, psychic power, the extraterrestrial, divine connection, and sporting prowess.

--The Governator is "too busy" to be bothered with Paris Hilton

--It's a sad day for Married...With Children fans, as Bud Bundy (David Faustino) is arrested on drug charges.