CHANGES A-COMIN'

After yesterday's epic fail against Oakland, coach Mike Tomlin revealed the following bits of info in relation to the upcoming game against the Browns on Thursday:

--CBs Joe Burnett and Keenan Lewis will not only play but could start against the Browns. CB Ike Taylor, nursing burn wounds, might find a place on the Steeler bench.

--CB William Gay, who suffered a concussion against Oakland, will undergo neurological tests. If he is able to play, he may not start.

--WR Hines Ward is doubtful because of a late-game hamstring injury, so Limas Sweed moves up the depth chart (gulp) and a receiver will be signed for depth. Either Sweed or Mike Wallace will start in Ward's place. I'm putting my money on Wallace. Call it a hunch.

--S Troy Polamalu will likely miss his fourth straight game with a knee injury. Call that the Madden Curse.

--RB Rashard Mendenhall will get limited reps in practice this week because of an ankle injury.

--And to the best of my knowledge, there were no promises to unleash anything else this month.

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A LOT HAPPENED IN 72 HOURS

Although some think that I have the personality of a robot, my work-related absence over the past three days should finally prove that an actual human being is in charge of what you read on this site and not a cyborg who regularly posts hastily-penned one-liners about easy targets like the Pittsburgh Pirates. That being said, the timing of my vanishing act could not have been worse. Consider what's gone down in approximately 72 hours since my last enlightening post about (imagine this) Pirate players being upset about the recent mass turnover of their roster:

--The defending Super Bowl Champions started training camp in our backyard, and 2008 NFL Defensive Player of the Year James Harrison reported driving this vehicle. That was probably a post in itself had I seen it upon original release.

Also, read closely in this Trib article about what rookie WR Mike Wallace brought to camp:

Wallace, on the other hand, brought numerous forms of entertainment to his first camp. He brought a 42-inch, flat-screen television, a small movie collection -- including "The Hangover," "Pineapple Express" and "The Dark Knight" -- PlayStation 3 and an iPod.

As emailer John G. points out, would that be a DVD of the same "The Hangover" that's currently in theaters right now? Yeah, probably not a wise idea to mention that to a newspaper reporter.

--THE Raul Mondesi running for Mayor opposite THE Jose Rijo in the Dominican Republic. This is clearly the biggest Mondesi-related story since the famous electricity-stealing scandal of 2006.

--Tom Gorzelanny and John Grabow were dealt to the Chicago Cubs, as the Pirates' front office remembered that they are contractually obligated to help the Cubs in a stretch run whenever possible. It was a sad day for me only from the standpoint that I'll have one glaring hole in this year's much-delayed "Pittsburgh Pirates: the Movie IV" post. Gorzo and Sloth from The Goonies...that was just inspired casting.

--It took Boston GM Theo Epstein all of six games to realize what it took the Pirates two-plus years to figure out: his team is better off trading Adam LaRoche. Yes, Hans Klopek was flipped back to his original haunting grounds of Atlanta for Casey Kotchman in a dramatic swap of medicocrity. LaRoche joins an Atlanta nucleus that includes Nate McLouth, Mike Gonzalez, and David Ross, which means the Braves should go 68-94 in 2010.

--Andrew McCutchen hit three home runs and drove in six on Saturday night against the Washington Nationals. Amazingly, was still on the roster and not traded to the Red Sox on Sunday morning.

--The Pirates were beaten by the Washington Nationals on Sunday, and the win went to Sean Burnett, the same Sean Burnett that built a shrine to Nate McLouth after his trade and called the Pirates "the laughingstock of baseball" recently. By the way, the team Burnett now plays for is 33-72. Certainly not laughingstock material by any measure.

Now that we're up to speed on three-day-old news, it's time to look forward to the week ahead. We've got one more Pirates-Nationals game to endure, a three-pack with the D-Backs, and most importantly, lots more football to talk about. Limas Sweed was the star of Sunday's practice? Oh yeah, that's just a sneak preview of what's going to be a great week of talk.

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NATE WASHINGTON, YOU'VE BEEN REPLACED

MIKE WALLACE
6'0", 199 LBS
WIDE RECEIVER
MISSISSIPPI

OK, let's get the "Mike Wallace/Mike Wallace" gags out of our system immediately. Done.

Now then, THIS is the guy the Steelers drafted with their second pick in the third-round, the 20th in the round and the 84th player overall. ESPN had Wallace pegged as the #20 wide receiver and #152 overall. Obviously, Kevin Colbert is making the picks and not Todd McShay.
First and foremost, Wallace brings speed to the table, with a 4.33 40-time. With those numbers, it's a wonder Al Davis didn't trade up to take him in the first round. But in addition to his receiving abilities, Wallace happens to be (drum roll, please)...a return man, which we've heard about roughly 152 different players these Steelers acquired in the past decade (lest we forget the Willie Reids, Eddie Drummonds and Allen Rossums of the world). (And Gary Russell. And Najeh Davenport. OK, I'll stop now.)
A speedy wide receiver who can stretch the field officially replaces departed wide receiver/Tiffin hero Nate Washington, and at a considerably lesser cost. As a third-round pick, his impact will not be immediate, especially with a stacked deck of receivers ahead of him. At this point, he fills a niche that the Steelers desperately needed, despite the fact that we'll have to put up with 60 Minutes references as long as he's on the team.

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