The News

--The Pens reached 100 points but suffered a 2-1 loss at the hands of the New York Rangers on Monday night.

Former Little League World Series hero Chris Drury put the winner past MAF at 1:46 of OT.

--JoePa turned down a chance to meet with Bill Clinton during his recent State College visit. Why? JoePa's a Republican. Which is interesting, considering son Jay Paterno is a staunch supporter of Barack Obama.

--You absolutely have to read this article about the new breed of "rock star" superintendents. Unreal.

--Did you catch the Milwaukee Brewers lineup, with Jason Kendall batting ninth?

"We've done studies on this," manager Ned Yost said. "It's not just that we come up one day and say, 'You know, Jason Kendall's gonna hit ninth.'

--Slate.com recently had an article entitled, "How to root for one of the most mediocre sports teams ever", about, as you guessed, the Pirates. I actually got a mention in the article. Good to see that I'm so closely associated with mediocrity.

--How about some video of a fight in the stands at the Red Sox-Dodgers LA Coliseum exhibition game?

--Now you can Rent Dennis Rodman to Help You Dye Your Hair

--Here's a fresh article on the karate-chopping Greg Lloyd, who's had some legal troubles of his own in recent years.

--Just when you thought the Steelers’ offseason troubles were over, this happens…

"Davenport dumps out second seed Ivanovic”

Thankfully, it was a story about tennis.

--Here's the real story about Wrestlemania: the pyrotechnic malfunction that left dozens in the stands injured. Says With Leather: "A suspended cable used for launching fireworks above the crowd snapped, showering the crowd of easily amused simpletons with sparks and rockets."

--Found this buried in last week's "News" folder, but here's a very interesting read about a now-former Michigan Wolverine blasting off on Rich Rodriguez.

--Ben Roethlisberger is set to return to Findlay, Ohio, on Saturday night, April 5th for his second annual fundraiser, "The Ben Roethlisberger Challenge".

--Is Idaho Football too sexy?

--The experts think that Branden Albert will be your Pittsburgh Steeler first-round draft pick.

--Barack Obama bowled a 37 in Altoona. 37? Here's the video.

--Bugs and Cranks interviewed the author of a Roberto Clemente graphic novel.

--Buy Michael Jordan's old waterbed!


--Joe Theismann has a restaurant? Who knew? Well, probably a lot of people. But not I.

--Giant Eagle is claiming that they were overcharged for $200 million worth of chocolate between 2002-2007.

--From the "Let's Stop at the Headline" Department: 14 dead turtles found in feces-filled Uniontown house.

A LIST OF TODAY'S TOP LISTS
Top 10 most (and least) popular jerseys from the past 10 years
12 surprisingly and mind-numbingly controversial Wikipedia pages
The 10 Craziest Scientific Experiments Ever Conducted
The 7 Ballsiest Sports Cheats Ever

The News

--Your Pittsburgh Penguins are first in the East after a 3-1 victory against the Rangers. This game had it all: a rare glimpse of what Sidney Crosby and Marian Hossa could do together, Brandon Dubinsky's skate cutting Geno Malkin's cheek and subsequent stitches, and the always-exciting Max Talbot goal.

A few notes:

-Malkin now sits at 46 goals, and 104 points, still trailing Alexander Ovechkin's 109.

-The Pens are 7-0 at home in March and 9-0-2 at home since February 13.

-Marc-Andre Fleury is 13-1 in his last 14 decisions

-The game was the 421st for Jaromir Jagr at the Arena. Could it be the last?

Only a matchup with the Rangers and two games with Philadelphia remain, and then you can buy your secondary-market playoff tickets.

--Speaking of the Rangers, did you know that Sean Avery's name turned up on the client spreadsheet of Manhattan madam Kristin Davis?

--Your Final Four is set: #1 seeds all around (just as I so gutlessly predicted in the Mondesi Madness poll, thank you very much).

--Floyd Mayweather KO'd 7-foot, 440-pound "The Big Show" at Wrestlemania 24. Doesn't look like it in this picture.

--What happens when you combine Barack Obama, Jerome Bettis, and Franco Harris?

--George W. threw out the first pitch at the Nationals' new stadium last night. He also called the first home run in stadium history. Yes, that's really him and not Frank Caliendo.

--Happy Valley turned into Obama Country this weekend.

--81-year-old Joe Paterno broke his three-month silent treatment to talk about coaching 10 more years, his celebrity, and drinking bourbon. Seriously.

--The Pitt women are in the NCAA Tournament no more, dropping a 72-53 decision to Stanford on Saturday night. I'm guessing that wasn't on the minds of most of you when it played out around midnight on Saturday.

--Mike Tomlin is confident that the Steelers will be competitive in 2008. That makes one person.

--Cedrick Wilson was ordered to seek anger management. And not the cute, Jack Nicholson kind.

--Happy days are here again: Matt Kata has re-joined the Pirates via trade.

--The Pirates open at a lowly #27 in the PG's Power Rankings, ahead of only Houston, Washington, and San Francisco, in a poll obviously taken before they re-acquired Matt Kata.

--"Headline Says it All" Department: Nipples Nowhere To Be Seen On Wrestlemania Ad

--What does a crowd of 115,300 look like in the 7th inning? In LA? Like 25,000 people.

--Here's a hard-hitting interview with Reggie Bush squeeze Kim Kardashian.

--Hideki Matsui's porn collection is at 55,000 videos and growing. Strange, yes, but so was his introducing his wife by displaying a drawing of her.

--Kathie Lee Gifford returned to TV today, as she will host the 4th hour of NBC's Today show. Try to contain your enthusiasm.

--Read the story of Johnstown junk accumulater Dr. Chandan Vora, who carries her legal documents in BiLo bags stacked on a baby stroller.

A LIST OF TODAY'S TOP LISTS
24 best Wrestlemania matches of all time (T and Hogan vs. Orndorff and Piper only #24?)

11 Hollywood Tips on Becoming a Better Gambler

Bill Raftery Just Likes To Be Naked (Bill Raftery Quotes)

The Five Pirates Most Likely To Be Traded