Big Lead Sports Bar


Borat's Feelings on Pittsburgh Sports

We were lucky enough to get a sit-down with the one and only Borat this evening. Apparently, he's willing to do anything to promote his new movie, even do an interview with a Pittsburgh sports blog. If you've never seen Borat, you probably won't understand much of this. But for those of you familiar with him, sit back and enjoy a conversation with the Man of the Hour.

Borat: Jagshemash! Hello, I'm a-Borat. I like you. Do you like me?
Mondesi's House: Yes, Borat. You have many fans in Pittsburgh.

MH: Borat, is this your first trip to Pittsburgh?
Borat: Yes, this is just second time I see your country. I love the U.S. and A and your President George Walter Bush! In my movie I see California, New York, and your famous city, Mississippi.

MH: Borat, are you familiar with sports at all?
Borat: Yes, we have many sports in Kazakhstan. I like ping pong, disco dance, dog shoot.

MH: We don't usually play those in Pittsburgh. Well, maybe the dog shoot. Are you familiar with any of the professional teams?
Borat: Yes! I follow your Pirates very close!

MH: What are your thoughts on the Pirates?
Borat: It is nice that your Pirates employ village idiot to acquire players. High-five!

MH: Why do you call him the village idiot?
Borat: He always victim of gypsies in Chicago and New York.

MH: How about the Penguins, our hockey team?
Borat: Hockey, I like, yes! Your Evgeni Malkin, he comes from my village. He own nicest Betamax in all of Kazakhstan. He also owns brand new Atari video system.

MH: How about Sidney Crosby?
Borat: YES! Crosby, she is very sexy lady. Wow wow wee wa!

MH: Have you ever heard of the Pittsburgh Steelers?
Borat: Steelers, yes! They play with balls with their foots, correct?

MH: Well, actually, they play football. They have a coach named Bill Cowher.
Borat: Coach Cowher, much success! He would be most powerful man in all of Kazakhstan.

MH: Actually, there's a rumor that Coach Cowher's wife might influence him moving to North Carolina next season.
Borat: What? In my country, a woman not equal to man! We say: God, man, horse, dog, woman, rat.

MH: What advice do you have for Coach Cowher?
Borat: He should put wife back in cage. Then he take power! She go back to pulling plow.

MH: We have another football coach in town, named Dave Wannstedt.
Borat: Dave Wannstedt, yes! He very strong man, with mustache, like Stalin! He have very big hram!

MH: Have you been to the Strip District?
Borat: Yes, we have Strip District in my country as well. My sister currently #4 prostitute in all of Kazakhstan! High-five!

MH: Well, Borat, I know you're a busy man. I've seen you on Jay Leno, David Letterman, and Howard Stern in the past week. I appreciate sitting down to spend some time with Mondesi's House.
Borat: Mondesi's House, I like! You come to my country, yes?

MH: Well, I have many duties here in Pittsburgh, but maybe I'll take you up on that someday. Any final words?
Borat: Yes! Can you help me meet this Sidney Crosby?

MH: Look for a big silver circle in the middle of the city. You'll probably bump into him sooner or later.
Borat: Dzienkuje! Pittsburgh, I like!

*For those of you who haven't yet caught on, this was fictitious. And if you haven't caught on, I'm very disappointed in you.


Anonymous said...

I have a theory that Brian Sipe was the original Borat.

He have a sexy time with Greg Pruitt.

Unknown said...


Wannstadt and Josef Stalin: What a dead ringer! That was hilarious!

You do a perfect Borat!

Anonymous said...

If Steelers lose another game of balls to foot, yinzers will have me executed. High five!

Anonymous said...

The Borat movie is vile, loathsome, disgusting and obscene. Funniest damn thing I've seen in years. Thanks for the heads-up, Mondesi.