We were lucky enough to get a sit-down with the one and only Borat this evening. Apparently, he's willing to do anything to promote his new movie, even do an interview with a Pittsburgh sports blog. If you've never seen Borat, you probably won't understand much of this. But for those of you familiar with him, sit back and enjoy a conversation with the Man of the Hour.
Borat: Jagshemash! Hello, I'm a-Borat. I like you. Do you like me?
Mondesi's House: Yes, Borat. You have many fans in Pittsburgh.
MH: Borat, is this your first trip to Pittsburgh?
Borat: Yes, this is just second time I see your country. I love the U.S. and A and your President George Walter Bush! In my movie I see California, New York, and your famous city, Mississippi.
MH: Borat, are you familiar with sports at all?
Borat: Yes, we have many sports in Kazakhstan. I like ping pong, disco dance, dog shoot.
MH: We don't usually play those in Pittsburgh. Well, maybe the dog shoot. Are you familiar with any of the professional teams?
Borat: Yes! I follow your Pirates very close!
MH: What are your thoughts on the Pirates?
Borat: It is nice that your Pirates employ village idiot to acquire players. High-five!
MH: Why do you call him the village idiot?
Borat: He always victim of gypsies in Chicago and New York.
MH: How about the Penguins, our hockey team?
Borat: Hockey, I like, yes! Your Evgeni Malkin, he comes from my village. He own nicest Betamax in all of Kazakhstan. He also owns brand new Atari video system.
MH: How about Sidney Crosby?
Borat: YES! Crosby, she is very sexy lady. Wow wow wee wa!
MH: Have you ever heard of the Pittsburgh Steelers?
Borat: Steelers, yes! They play with balls with their foots, correct?
MH: Well, actually, they play football. They have a coach named Bill Cowher.
Borat: Coach Cowher, much success! He would be most powerful man in all of Kazakhstan.
MH: Actually, there's a rumor that Coach Cowher's wife might influence him moving to North Carolina next season.
Borat: What? In my country, a woman not equal to man! We say: God, man, horse, dog, woman, rat.
MH: What advice do you have for Coach Cowher?
Borat: He should put wife back in cage. Then he take power! She go back to pulling plow.
MH: We have another football coach in town, named Dave Wannstedt.
Borat: Dave Wannstedt, yes! He very strong man, with mustache, like Stalin! He have very big hram!
MH: Have you been to the Strip District?
Borat: Yes, we have Strip District in my country as well. My sister currently #4 prostitute in all of Kazakhstan! High-five!
MH: Well, Borat, I know you're a busy man. I've seen you on Jay Leno, David Letterman, and Howard Stern in the past week. I appreciate sitting down to spend some time with Mondesi's House.
Borat: Mondesi's House, I like! You come to my country, yes?
MH: Well, I have many duties here in Pittsburgh, but maybe I'll take you up on that someday. Any final words?
Borat: Yes! Can you help me meet this Sidney Crosby?
MH: Look for a big silver circle in the middle of the city. You'll probably bump into him sooner or later.
Borat: Dzienkuje! Pittsburgh, I like!
*For those of you who haven't yet caught on, this was fictitious. And if you haven't caught on, I'm very disappointed in you.