The News

--The Penguins were shut out by Philadelphia in a sloppy regular season finale (sans Sidney Crosby), setting up a first-round playoff matchup with Ottawa. Game One is Wednesday at Mellon Arena. Good tickets not available, unless you feel like dropping a minimum of $149.

--The Pirates' Home Opener is this afternoon, and Mondesi's House will have in-person coverage later this evening.

--Moon's John Calipari goes for his first championship tonight against the Kansas "Almost Blew a 28-Point 1st Half Lead" Jayhawks.

--Ian Snell fans 10 in the Pirates 9-2 victory over Florida. The Buccos sit at .500, the hallowed mark that everyone wishes for. No so great, is it?

--After his hot March (1 game), Adam LaRoche is 2-22 on the season.

--Jack Wilson is on the DL, so enjoy your glimpse at Brian Bixler.

--Three bloggers have died in the last few months of heart-related conditions. What can I say? It's a dangerous job.

--ESPN.com will do all they can to prevent criticism of Emmitt Smith. Try all you want, it's still going to happen.

--Did you know that 34 pizza shops in New York City claim to be famous/original Ray's?

--A Johnstown man stole $40 and a donut from Donut Connection, but he didn't make it too far.

--A Dick Vitale Hooters ad was pulled from the Final Four program.

--Is Rich Rodriguez to blame for Pacman Jones & Chris Henry? Let's just say "he didn't help."

--Questions about Derrick Rose seem to bother Derrick Rose...especially when they aren’t directed to Derrick Rose.

--Auburn DL/LB Quentin Groves pulls no punches: he wants to be a Steeler.

--Anyone care to explain what's on Jake Peavy's hand?

--Former Pimp/LB Richard Seigler takes his act to Canada. The football act, I presume.

--The Wedding Singer musical is coming to Pittsburgh. Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore are not.

--Megan from Johnstown won MTV's That's Amore last night. Straight Outta Johnstown is quite thrilled.

--Michael Vick=Paul Crewe.

--Hollywood legend Charlton Heston dies at 84.
--A 145-year-old secret, worth $20 million, lies buried somewhere in the Dents Run area of rugged Elk County. Or not.
--Cracked.com is looking for a caption to match this bizarro photo:

A LIST OF TODAY'S TOP LISTS
Top 7 - Famous Fast Starters in Baseball
The 10 "Best" 1980's Cable Access Moments
The 10 Funniest Workout Videos
7 Weird Superheroes Who Won't Ever Hit The Silver Screen (But Should)
25 Toughest Athletes
The Bizarre History of 10 Common Sayings