Peezy Says You Can Be a Star

As this billboard from Second Avenue in Pittsburgh tells us, "You can be a star" in the glamorous world of...the witness protection program. And the bearer of this message? Miami Dolphins linebacker Joey Porter, who, ironically, was arrested for a fight in Las Vegas in March and charged with misdemeanor battery. Anyone willing to become a star and testify against Peezy? Didn't think so.

To this day, anytime I hear a story involving the Witness Protection Program, I automatically think of that Simpsons "Cape Fear" parody in the early '90s. You know...the one when Sideshow Bob tries to kill Bart and the Simpsons are forced to enter the Witness Protection Program...It's an all-time classic. Homer wants his new identity to be John Elway, and he wears a "WRP" hat and t-shirt all around town. And thanks to the wonders of the internet, here's the three-minute video clip.

A new identity as John Elway and a free t-shirt? Yes, the Witness Protection Program is great work, if you are lucky enough to find it. And it pays $5,000 to boot! It's a nice gesture by Joey to lend his intimidating image to the billboard and the campaign. But don't expect "Stop Snitchin" star Carmelo Anthony to endorse the program anytime soon.

(Thanks to Joe in Munhall for the photo and info)