Big Lead Sports Bar


The Ticket Scalper Who Sells After Kickoff

Have you ever gone to a big Steeler game and saw hopeful fans poking around the Heinz Field parking lot looking for tickets after kickoff? They're looking for a bargain. The scalper usually is desperate and doesn't want to eat the tickets, so he starts slashing prices to try and salvage some cash. At this point, it's a buyer's market; they have all the leverage over the seller.

Are you familiar with Dave Littlefield? He's the General Manager of the Pittsburgh Pirates.

What do these have to do with each other? Plenty, my fellow long-suffering Bucco fans. Through hours of research at the Mondesi's House Supercomputer, I have concluded that Dave Littlefield is MLB's version of the ticket scalper who waits too long to sell his tickets, thus losing most of their value.
Dave Littlefield was a busy man yesterday

Today was the Super Bowl, or in baseball GM terms, the trading deadline. Littlefield did not hold four tickets to a luxury box. But his tickets would certainly get you into the game. There were willing buyers for his tickets, but during the entire pregame, he was asking too much. By the time he was ready to sell, fair offers were few and far between. So what was our scalper able to accomplish at the last minute today?

Dave the Scalper is offering one Craig Wilson.

Some call him Thor. Some call him Chris Griffin. Some say he drinks too much Pepsi.

All of these have some degree of truth. But Craig Wilson certainly had to have a greater value than Shawn Chacon. He's the newest addition to the Pirates' stable of horses. Chacon is truly amazing. How many MLB pitchers can say they had a 7.11 ERA in 2004 and a 7.00 ERA in 2006 and still occupy a roster spot?

Future much-maligned Pirate Shawn Chacon

Face Value of Craig Wilson: $100. Final Sale Price: $10

Dave the dealin' man has one Sean Casey. He paid a premium price and wants to move on this ASAP.

Anyone want to take a bath with Sean?

Casey was one of the faces of the 2006 Pirates, so it's incredibly appropriate that he was sent packing. Management could count on Casey for filming TV ads with Maz, a popular bobblehead night, and always having a smile on his face. Management could also count on Casey for one home run every 71 at-bats while earning $8.5 million. Dave wanted out from under this deal.

Today, the Pirates sent sent Casey to the Detroit Tigers in an attempt to have Upper St. Clair represented in the 2006 World Series. Deadline Dave dealt him for Brian Rogers, a pitcher currently in AA. Apparently he drank too much of the Tigers' Kool-Aid and is trying to get his life in order.

Face value of Sean Casey: $40. Final sale price: $5

Deal 3:
Our fearless scalper is holding one Kip Wells. Again, not the most valuable seat in the house, but still holds some value. Kip's clock is ticking. Dave wants to sell.

Kip Wells injures shoulder after hitting
Tom Gorzelanny with shaving cream pie

Wells was the Kordell Stewart of the Pirates. His good days were really good, like that time he struck out 27 Phillies in one game last year. His bad days made you want to dump your $6 beer on him a la Kordell.

Kip Dynamite gets sent home to Texas, who also acquired Matt Stairs. Add those guys in with Gary Matthews Jr., and you're 3/25 of the way home to a Pirate Oldtimer's Squad. In return, your Bucs will receive pitcher Jesse Chavez, who I believe is the son of boxer Julio Cesar Chavez. If only he was the son of Roberto Duran, I could say "
no mas" to these Littlefield deals.

Roberto Duran, retired boxer and one half of Duran Duran

Face value of Kip Wells: $20. Final sale price: $3

Deal 4:
Dave has two more he wants to package up to one buyer, so it's BOGO time. Buy a Roberto Hernandez, get an Oliver Perez for free.

Pittsburgh Laundry Carts no longer must fear for their lives. The Oliver Perez era is now over.

It's OK, you don't have to hide anymore.

For Hernandez's sake, I hope he gets to the World Series. With his appearance in Pittsburgh, he has fufilled the MLB tour of duty, playing for the Pirates, Devil Rays, and Royals in his career. It's only fair that he gets a shot at a ring.

In the place of Perez and Hernandez, the Pirates receive Xavier Nady, who was a target of the Pirates several years back. Much like their once-failed pursuit of Jeromy Burnitz which ultimately came to fruition years later, I'm sure this will end well.

Face value of Hernandez and Perez: $110. Final sale price: $30

So Dave started the day with $270, and he ended up with $48. Had he waited until season's end, his $270 would be worth $0. So yes, he managed to get something. But the other scalpers out there, especially in Washington, D.C., did a much better job of unloading their wares at the appropriate time.


Anonymous said...

Well, I hope Ollie gets the help that he truly deserves and, next season, just murders the rest of the league like he did in '04. If that happens, Littlefield won't have to worry about being pointed out as the bad guy any longer; he will just be blinded by the middle. I think I'll leave my #48 bobblehead on my work desk in protest.

Anonymous said...

By the way, Duffy better hope he pulled a Mel Gibson with his little quote yesterday....

Anonymous said...

What did Duffy say wes?

Anonymous said...

good post