HIGHWAY SAFETY WITH THE '92 PENS

I'm a nostalgic nerd, and nostalgic nerds occasionally take trips down memory lane when a room in the house needs cleaned out. This was last done sometime in November, when I unearthed a 1989 Penguins program that held gems like this inside:

This time, another room, another box of miscellaneous stuff. And today's treasure is something I pray will be re-made in the near future...the 1992 Pittsburgh Penguins Highway Safety activity book, a joint venture between the team and the Allegheny County Health Department.

As the title implies, highway safety = Stanley Cups. It's a proven formula. Take this year, for instance. Did you hear of any Penguins being unsafe behind the wheel? And what happened a few months later, you ask? I think the picture illustrates my point. The secret is out: much like Craig Patrick did years ago, Ray Shero targets good drivers when putting together a roster.

Now it's time for some messages from individual players. Let's start with a well-known choir boy, Kevin "Artie" Stevens:

We could go a million different directions there, but I'll let you produce your own one-liners on that one.

We move next to Ron Francis, who delivers an important message on safety belts. Because if people in this country have a common problem, it's not putting on a safety belt in the right fashion. I usually get tangled in mine with little to no effort. But I'm curious, are seat belts an area of expertise for Francis? And what are the odds the Allegheny County Health Department really sat down him for this quote? Finally, it's Ulf Samuelsson, showing you equal ways to get plastered when choosing different types of booze. That's right, only five ounces of wine gives you the same effect as 12 ounces of beer! And to back him up, Jim Paek reminds us that, contrary to what you've heard, some people don't drink alcohol. And yes, that is an actual quote from Jim Paek.

I know, I know, their hearts were in the right place. They didn't produce this book years ago with the intention that some wise-acre was going to dissect it with his fellow wise-acre buddies years later. But that's the charm of our latest treasure of the basement. And like I said, about that sequel...how's this for a cover shot?
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EARLY NOTES ON PENS-CANES

A few notes on the pending Penguins-Carolina Hurricanes Eastern Conference Finals, made possible by this goal by Scott Walker last night...

Series Schedule is as follows:

Monday, May 18 Carolina at PITTSBURGH 7:30 p.m. TV: Versus

Thursday, May 21 Carolina at PITTSBURGH 7:30 p.m. TV: Versus

Saturday, May 23 Pittsburgh at CAROLINA 7:30 p.m. TV: Versus

Tuesday, May 26 Pittsburgh at CAROLINA 7:30 p.m. TV: Versus

*Friday, May 29 Carolina at PITTSBURGH 7:30 p.m. TV: Versus

*Sunday, May 31 Pittsburgh at CAROLINA 7:30 p.m. TV: Versus

*Tuesday, June 2 Carolina at PITTSBURGH 7:30 p.m. Versus

Things you'll hear about:

--Eric Staal and brother Jordan Staal - often

--Bill Cowher's support of the Canes (which some people are already tired of)

--The Pens won the season series, 2-1-1, outscoring Carolina 12-8. Both victories came against backup goalie Michael Leigton.

--Ron Francis is Carolina's assistant head coach; Tom Barrasso is in charge of their goalies

--No games will be broadcast on NBC; however, Game One and Game Four of Chicago-Detroit will be shown on the Peacock.

--Carolina's power play was the worst of the teams in the second round; their penalty kill was second-best in the playoffs.

--Hurricanes have played in four straight seven-game series and won them all.

--The Canes feature Cam Ward in goal, a Conn Smythe winner. Ward is 8-6, 2.22 GAA, .927 save %. By contrast, Marc-Andre Fleury is 8-5, 2.72, .901.

--1o members of the Hurricanes won rings with the team in 2006

--Sergei Gonchar has four days to rest before the series starts

--Sidney Crosby leads all playoff scorers with 21 points; Eric Staal leads Carolina with 13 points

--Pittsburgh defensemen have scored 10 goals in the playoffs; Carolina defensemen have scored two.

--And finally, don't forget, Brooks Orpik is not popular in Carolina:


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PENS CONTINUE LOVE AFFAIR WITH OT

RANGERS (18-8-2) 3
PENGUINS (14-6-4) 2
SHOOTOUT

The Pens are to free hockey as Dion Phaneuf is to Elisha Cuthbert: they have a great affinity, perhaps even love, for it. And they gave another public display of affection on Wednesday night at Madison Square Garden, site of many a classic sporting events, such as Wrestlemania I.

The Pens did battle with the team that's employed everyone from Avery to Gretzky to Jaromir for 60 minutes, officially blowing a 2-0 lead in the third period on Petr Prucha's first goal of the season, ironic because just this afternoon Mark Madden had mused that Prucha would look good in a Penguin uniform.

The game started with some fisticuffs courtesy of Colton Orr and Eric Godard, which were about as predictable as Pitt beating Duquesne in The City Game.


Minutes after the fight, the lamp was lit by none other than Mark Eaton, his first of the season, and believe it or not, his first goal as a Penguin. Yes, the guy's played here for parts of three seasons, and this was his first goal. His last score was April 6, 2006, as a Nashville Predator.

A second goal courtesy of Jordan Staal (by way of Rob Scuderi) put the Pens up by a pair. Unfortunately, that goal would be negated moments later by Nikolai Zherdev (the Rangers' first goal in 108 minutes), and the Pens went into the third trimester up one, with their lead eventually disappearing thanks to the aforementioned Prucha.

Following a scoreless overtime, Dany Sabourin went on to go perfect in the shootout: he allowed a goal on every attempt. But you'll have those kind of nights; in all fairness, Sabourin has definitely saved the Penguins' rears in shootouts past. Game, set, match. Drive home (or in this case, hail a cab) safely.

Next up for the Pens is a second consecutive Staal Bowl, this time against 12-11-2 Carolina, featuring new associate coach/Penguins legend Ron Francis, who unfortunately will not be playing for the Hurricanes. Set your TiVo to 7 PM.

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