Big Lead Sports Bar

6/22/2009

HIGHWAY SAFETY WITH THE '92 PENS

I'm a nostalgic nerd, and nostalgic nerds occasionally take trips down memory lane when a room in the house needs cleaned out. This was last done sometime in November, when I unearthed a 1989 Penguins program that held gems like this inside:



This time, another room, another box of miscellaneous stuff. And today's treasure is something I pray will be re-made in the near future...the 1992 Pittsburgh Penguins Highway Safety activity book, a joint venture between the team and the Allegheny County Health Department.

As the title implies, highway safety = Stanley Cups. It's a proven formula. Take this year, for instance. Did you hear of any Penguins being unsafe behind the wheel? And what happened a few months later, you ask? I think the picture illustrates my point. The secret is out: much like Craig Patrick did years ago, Ray Shero targets good drivers when putting together a roster.



Now it's time for some messages from individual players. Let's start with a well-known choir boy, Kevin "Artie" Stevens:

We could go a million different directions there, but I'll let you produce your own one-liners on that one.

We move next to Ron Francis, who delivers an important message on safety belts. Because if people in this country have a common problem, it's not putting on a safety belt in the right fashion. I usually get tangled in mine with little to no effort. But I'm curious, are seat belts an area of expertise for Francis? And what are the odds the Allegheny County Health Department really sat down him for this quote? Finally, it's Ulf Samuelsson, showing you equal ways to get plastered when choosing different types of booze. That's right, only five ounces of wine gives you the same effect as 12 ounces of beer! And to back him up, Jim Paek reminds us that, contrary to what you've heard, some people don't drink alcohol. And yes, that is an actual quote from Jim Paek.

I know, I know, their hearts were in the right place. They didn't produce this book years ago with the intention that some wise-acre was going to dissect it with his fellow wise-acre buddies years later. But that's the charm of our latest treasure of the basement. And like I said, about that sequel...how's this for a cover shot?
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6 comments:

Steve said...

I wonder what Jag's had to say about highway safety? Ironically, they won 2 cups with his scary driving skills.

Mike said...

At least there is a seatbelt on the cup!!!

BurressWithButterflyWings said...

If anybody has a picture or copy of the Kevin Stevens Anti-Drug poster that would be gold. My cousin's used to have it on their wall and i don't know what became of it as we tried to find it after his little incident.

Brian said...

LOL, they give the foreigners cartoons.

BurressWithButterflyWings said...

http://www.forbes.com/2008/08/19/tickets-fans-miami-biz-sports-cx_tvr_0820badfans_slide_11.html?thisSpeed=15000

To think, this artcile was written less than 12 months ago (and not by Collier,Cook, or Smizik........ wow!

Hand of Godard said...

Just another reason not to go after Heatley in the offseason.