
9/24/2008
NOAH WELCH IS DONATING HIS BRAIN
9/06/2006
Who is Charlie Batch?
Charlie Batch will be the most important man in Pittsburgh for at least the next 24 hours. Based on some of the conversations I heard today on the radio and on the net, I thought we should educate ourselves just a little on Mr. Batch before passing judgment.

Charlie Batch and Howie Mandel: Seperated at Birth?
Charles D'Donte Batch was born December 5, 1974 in our very own Homestead, PA. Yes, the land that now houses Pittsburgh's playground of Dave & Buster's, The Improv, and Loews Theater was also the land that spawned #16.
Following a record-setting career at Eastern Michigan, Batch was the 3rd quarterback drafted in the 1998 NFL Draft, behind only #1 and 2 overall, Peyton Manning and Ryan Leaf, and ahead of fellow QBs Matt Hasselbeck and Brian Griese. Believe it or not, he was also selected ahead of Ahman Green, Hines Ward, and Jeremiah Trotter.
Batch actually played in 12 games as a rookie in 1998, and the Lions finished with a 5-11 record under coach Bobby Ross. He completed 57% of his passes, had an 11-to-6 TD/INT ratio, threw for over 2,100 yards, and ran for over 200 more. 1998 was the final year of Barry Sanders' NFL career before he would leave the team high and dry at the running back position in 1999.
In 1999, with Sanders long gone, Batch split time with Gus Frerotte and took the Lions to the playoffs, throwing for a shade under 2,000 yards and compiling a 13-to-7 TD/INT ratio.
In 2000, Batch was once again the full time starter, throwing for roughly 2500 yards. This was a season of turmoil for the Lions, with Ross fired after nine games and replaced by Gary Moeller. His completion percentage fell to 53% and his TD/INT ratio fell to 13-to-15.
We all know Batch signed with the Steelers in 2002, but I'm really interested in that 2001 season. What radio commentators such as Mark Madden (as recently as today) still hang over Batch's head is his 2001 season. In '01, the Lions handed the keys to the franchise to possibly the worst GM in NFL history, Matt Millen, who hired possibly the worst coach in NFL history, Marty Mornhinweg. Morhninweg is most remembered for his 5-27 career record, his driving to practice on a Harley, and for electing to kick off in overtime in 2002 vs. the Bears. Predictably, the Bears took the kickoff, rolled right down the field, and set up Paul Edinger for a game-winning field goal.
The Face of LosingWith a management team like Millen and Mornhinweg, the Lions were a team destined for failure. Let's check out the team Batch was surrounded by:
Running back: The Lions had Ruben Droughns on the roster, who ran for 1,200+ yards last year with Cleveland, of all teams. But since these are the Lions, they gave Droughns a grand total of 30 carries in 2001. The bulk of the load went to James Stewart, who responded with 685 yards rushing for the season. Great way to ID that talent, Marty.
Wide receiver: Johnnie Morton was their top threat, and while he was a decent receiver, he was never confused for a gamebreaker. Herman Moore contributed the final four catches of his career; Germane Crowell added his usual five games before getting injured; Desmond Howard's presence, but not his play, reminded Michigan fans that he used to be good; and Bert Emanuel wished he was still in Atlanta catching passes from Jeff George. Basically, they had crap at the receiver position, hence the three consecutive first-round picks that were to follow beginning in 2002.
O-Line: Dominic Raiola at center, Brenden Stai and Tony Semple as the guards (both one year away from washing out of the league), Jeff Backus and Matt Joyce as the tackles. Ever wonder why Barry Sanders retired early? Would YOU want to run behind this line?
Tight end: David Sloan, Bradford Banta, John Waerig, Pete Mitchell. Not exactly Mark Bavaro, Jay Novacek, Kellen Winslow and Antonio Gates.
Defense: Robert Porcher played at a Pro Bowl level, and they had some other low-grade defensive stalwarts such as Luther Elliss, Stephen Boyd, a young Shaun Rogers. They gave up 27 points a game...what else is there to say?
The 2001 Lions Defense team photoI'm not saying Batch will be great, I'm not saying the Steelers won't miss Ben (they will)...but I don't think it's fair to Batch to compare the 2001 Detroit situation to the 2006 Pittsburgh team. The Steelers have a game-breaking running back, one of the league's top offensive lines, a four-time Pro Bowl WR, an emerging threat at tight end, and quite possibly the NFL's most tenacious defense, with playmakers like Polamalu, Porter, Taylor, and Farrior. They also have arguably the best coaching staff in the NFL, led by a man worlds away from Marty Mornhinweg.
If Batch were to QB this team all season, I think they would win 8-9 games. With Ben, the sky is the limit, but I would think 11-12 this year, all things considered.
Last year, Homestead Charlie was 2-0 as the starter for the Black & Gold. He was classified under the category of "Game Manager", which is the media's way of saying "Can't Win a Game by Himself". He threw for 215 yards, no TDs, and one pick in two full games. But most importantly, the record was 2-0. Yes, those wins came against 4-12 Green Bay and 6-10 Cleveland, but at least they were wins.
"Turnover Tommy" Maddox compiled an 0-2 mark, 2-to-4 TD/INT ratio, and plenty of new enemies in his performances against the Jaguars and Ravens. Yet the "Game Manager" tag avoided Maddox, even though he can't win a game by himself. Why? Because he proved he CAN lose a game by himself. His interceptions were absolutely crucial last year. And his lack of accountability burned his bridge with Mr. Bill. Given the choice between the two, I'd rather have Batch run the offense than Maddox.
So good luck to you, Chuck. You'll need it against a tenacious Dolphins defense coached by a Bill Belichick wanna-be. Go Steelers!

Words of wisdom: Play well, Charlie, or else these people will be at your place on Friday
8/24/2006
Pirates Fans: Good, Bad, or Suckers?
He calls his fastball "White Noise"As the season moved on, the fans had varied reactions. Some, like the much-publicized IrateFans, have taken their anger to the masses, gaining legions of followers along the way.
Another camp accuses Pirate fans of being so beaten down by 14 years of losing baseball that they have lost enthusiasm on most nights. And that many people are only there for the atmosphere and/or promotion, and could care less about what's happening on the diamond. While this is true on some occasions, I generally disagree with this point of view. Look around at the perennial doormats of pro sports, and their fans are beaten down. Tampa Bay Devil Rays. Atlanta Hawks. Kansas City Royals. Detroit Lions. I don't blame them for seeing their glasses half-empty. I really can't agree with this argument.
Please, Mr. Ford, FIRE MILLEN!The average attendance for Bucco games this season is 23,220 per home game, which is running amazingly close to last year's 23,003. Whatever the case, this number is drastically down from the 30,742 that opened PNC Park in 2001. They currently rank 27th in the league in average attendance, leading KC, Tampa, and Florida, three franchises that can only be described as "very troubled" for a variety of reasons.
The scary fact is that, in all likelihood, the numbers for this year are pumped up like Mark McGwire circa 1998 because of the All Star Game. The 2007 advance ticket sales could see a free fall in the offseason unless Littlefield McNutting can make a big, huge, gargantuan splash. But I don't see Big Papi coming to PNC anytime soon.
The Pirate fan has shown his/her affinity for four things, in varying order: the game of baseball, the aura of PNC Park, actually supporting the Pirates, and promotions. The Pirates' marketing staff does an efficient job of boosting ticket sales even to the level they are now. KC averages 17K, Tampa about 17K, and Florida 13K per game. Of course, none of these other teams play in a park like PNC, nor did they host the Midseason Classic. But I digress.
Yes, the Pirates overload their schedule with promos, fireworks, and giveaways. Heck, they're even letting dogs in on August 29. So is this a good thing or a bad thing?
Should we submit this to Sports Illustrated as a "Sign of the Apocalypse"?The group buying in to the idea of the Pup Rally, Eat n Park Ladies Night, and SkyBlast Reloaded feeds the fuel to another group of critics: Pirate fans are suckers. As long as fans continue to support the team at the box office, the product will not improve. This is a situation Chicago has grappled with for a long time, as the giant beer garden with ivy will sell out whether the home team wins 100 games or 10. Why should Cubs management put more money into the team, when they really don't have to? Why should Pirates management do the same?
I don't think we're bad fans, I think we're somewhere between good fans and suckers. It's a fine line. I believe the opinions will be all over the board on this one, and for good reason: there's no right answer. I think there is still plenty of interest in this team. In fact, I think the city is dying for a winner, and would definitely support the team through a pennant chase.
If I may get on my soapbox...
There has been an entire generation of Pittsburghers grow up who literally have never seen this team win. Just let that sink in for a second: if you live in Pittsburgh and are about 21 years old or younger, you have zero idea what a playoff run is like. I grew up watching the Bonds/Bonilla/Van Slyke Pirates, and even though we had our hearts broken three times, the path provided a lifetime of memories. I still have visions of raking leaves, eating dinner, and then settling in for Jack Buck's TV broadcasts while shaking my Green Weenie. Winning bonds people, it bonds all races, it bonds a city. We just experienced this earlier in the year. Just imagine how nice it would be to hold a parade in the fall.
6/29/2006
Which Team Will Win First?
Raul asks his readers: "Which of these horrendous organizations will be the first to win a championship?"
We will be breaking this down scientifically, offering Reasons for optimism, reasons for pessimism, and club history since 1992. Why since 1992? Since this is a Pittsburgh-based site, and we've had to endure 14 consecutive losing seasons of "major league" baseball, I'd like to match up organizations that are perceived as equally inept as our beloved Pirates.
Our subjects: 10 teams...4 in the NFL, 3 from MLB, and 3 from the NBA. These are not historically the worst teams. I've excluded the Cincinnati Bengals and LA Clippers, because that would have made the argument too easy. The Bengals, despite the fact that they are the Bengals, have made dramatic improvements; with a little more intestinal fortitude, the Clippers should have made the NBA Western Conference Finals. If you look at the 10 teams on this list, they are all dogs with almost no future. This is truly a tough call. Please voice your opinions in the comment section.
Atlanta Hawks
Reasons for Optimism:
-Draftee Shelden Williams looks like a Land of the Dead zombie , which could intimidate opponents
-Their coach, Mike Woodson, averages a 20-62 record over two seasons, so there's nowhere to go but up
-No one cares if they win or lose. Most fans think they're in the NBDL.
Reasons for Pessimism:
-Their ownership group is so hard on each other, they sue you if they don't like your trade ideas. I would not, I repeat, not be in a fantasy league with these guys
-They play in a conference with a Lebron, a Shaq, a Wade, an Arenas, a Kidd, and some Pistons. I don't think a team led by a Joe [Johnson] and an Al [Harrington] are going to pass them anytime soon.
-They've managed to miss the NBA Finals every year since 1961, when they were in St. Louis and Stan Musial played for them in the offseason.
History since 1992: 7 playoff appearances (1993-99), including 3 first round exits and 4 second round exits. 1 division title (1994). Team Record: 513-603, .460 winning percentage. 7 consecutive losing seasons, including a 13-69 (.159) season in 2004-05.
Buffalo Bills
Reasons for Optimism:
-Willis McGahee has proven he can overcome any ACL tears he has this year
-Eric Moulds and his pesky 81 catches can go bother David Carr in Houston this season
-New Coach Dick Jauron has no unrealistic fan expectations. Buffalo fans are smart enough to know that he never won anything coaching Chicago or Detroit, so odds are he won't win with the Bills either. As the saying goes, "He's got nothing to lose".
Reasons for Pessimism:
-Their 86-year-old owner and 80-year old GM argued constantly in the offseason over whether or not to sign Bronko Nagurski
-No QB named J.P. or Kelly has ever won a Super Bowl. Although a guy with the last name Kelly has lost four of them.
-They felt it would take $10 million to lure Peerless Price home after his 6-catch season with the Cowboys. Probably could've got him a little cheaper.
-The Patriots still play in their division, which means they will always have at least one team in front of them in Peter King's Power Rankings as long as he is alive
History since 1992: 5 playoff appearances (1993, 95, 96, 98, 99). Lost Super Bowl 28 vs Dallas, 3 wild card losses (including 1999 Music City Miracle vs. Tennessee), and 1 second round loss (to 1995, Super Bowl-bound Steelers). 2 division titles (1993 and 1995). Team Record: 105-103, .505 winning percentage. No winning seasons since 1999. 5-11 in 2005.
Cleveland Browns
Reasons for Optimism:
-Kellen "The Soldier" Winslow makes his first appearance since 2004, which gives the Browns a better chance of winning, but automatically gives NFL fans one person to hate nearly as much as T.O.
-Braylon Edwards is optimistic about replacing Antonio Bryant as a talented yet underperforming WR
-First round pick Kamerion Wimbley plans to prove he's the first Browns draft pick they've drafted since their comeback to not be a complete bust
Reasons for Pessimism:
-The three-headed QB Monster of Charlie Frye, Ken Dorsey and Derek Anderson could combine for the lowest QB rating in history other than Tommy Maddox in 2005.
-They play in a division loaded with Baltimore, Pittsburgh and Cincinnati, who feature stars such as Santonio Holmes, Chris Henry, and Ray Lewis (make sure to click on the links). The AFC North, also called "The Longest Yard" division, even has incoming rookies that fit the profile, like the Bengals A.J. Nicholson. The Browns have William Green and Reuben Droughns on the squad, but they must upgrade in talented players who feel the need to be an accessory to murder here and there. The division champions get a free invite to one of Corey Fuller's poker games.
-The Browns are the only team to never play in or host a Super Bowl. They don't even know what it is. A reporter once asked Dennis Northcutt if he knew what the Super Bowl was, and he thought it was the Big East 2nd place team against the champion of the WAC.
History since 1992: 2 playoff appearances (1994, 2002), eliminated each time by the Steelers. No division titles. Team Record: 59-101, .369 winning percentage. Averaging a 5-11 record since re-entering NFL in 1999. "Genius" Coach Bill Belichick had 36-44 record in five seasons (1991-95). 6-10 in 2005.
Detroit Lions
Reasons for Optimism:
-Division rivals Green Bay, Chicago and Minnesota all suck too
-Joey Harrington can ruin Miami's season this year
-Matt Millen didn't draft a WR in the 1st round
-OL Ross Verba won $500,000 in Vegas and spent it on a pool party, so he'll be highly motivated to cash a Super Bowl Champions bonus check
-The combination of a bible-thumping QB and Mike Martz has resulted in success before; can Jon Kitna pull a full Kurt Warner and marry a spiky haired, mannish wife?
-Another horrendous season could see ownership-hazing taken to a never before seen level by the frothing-at-the-mouth Lions fans
Reasons for Pessimism:
-Barry Sanders still won't un-retire for Matt Millen
-Despite all the threats, Charles Rogers is still on the roster
-Gameday traffic could be dangerous with so many fans wearing bags on their heads while driving to the game
-New coach Rod Marinelli tried to quit when he found out that the Lions have Terry Holt and Boss Bailey, not Torry Holt and Champ Bailey
History since 1992: 5 playoff appearances, all 1st-round wild card losses (1993, 94, 95, 97, 99). No division titles. Team Record: 85-123, .409 winning percentage. 5 consecutive losing seasons (all under Matt Millen). Millen era teams: 2-14, 3-13, 5-11. 6-10, 5-11 (21-59, .263 winning percentage).
Kansas City Royals
Reasons for Optimism:
-There are only 86 games left in the season
-They can always say they developed Johnny Damon and Carlos Beltran
-They swept the Pirates
-Their first round pick has a rookie card that Keith Olbermann paid $7,500 for
-They are tough and intimidating and they don't take kindly to criticism
-They just hired a new GM who learned under John Schuerholz how to win one World Series with a 15-time division champion team
Reasons for Pessimism:
-Not only do they lose, but they continually fail to provide the great names they once gave us, like Buddy Biancalana, U.L. Washington, Onix Conception, Dan Quisenberry, and Jamie Quirk. On second thought, scratch that. They do have Ambiorix Burgos, Jimmy Gobble, Doug Mientkiewicz, and Mark Grudzielanek.
-They have not one, but SIX former Pirates on their team: Elmer Dessens, Brandon Duckworth, Matt Stairs, Reggie Sanders, Mark Redman and Emil Brown. Never the sign of a winner.
-In any league with the White Sox, Yankees, Tigers, Angels, A's, Red Sox and Twins constantly contending, I don't see a team with Mark Redman as their winningest pitcher passing them up.
History since 1992: 0 playoff appearances. 3 winning seasons (1993, 94, 2003). Team Record: 897-1140, .440 winning percentage. 5 last place finishes, highest was 2nd place in 1995. 3 of last 4 seasons had 100+ losses. 56-106, .346 in 2005.
Minnesota Timberwolves
-Kevin Garnett. The Big Ticket. The First High School to NBA success story since Moses Malone. The guy put his team on his back and past the 1st round of the playoffs once in eight playoff appearances.
-They never lose faith in Kevin McHale, the GM who made the bold move of signing Joe Smith to a shady, backdoor deal that resulted in the loss of 5 1st-round draft picks. Someday they will be rewarded for their patience.
-Say what you want about McHale, but he was able to dump Stephon Marbury seven years ago. Saw that train wreck coming.
-As long as Mark Madsen remains on their roster, we never have to worry about him dancing at a championship parade
-They still give former Pitt hoopster and current stiff Mark Blount gainful employment
-The Ndudi Ebi era ended on November 1, 2005.
Reasons for Pessimism:
-The Eddie Griffin on their roster is the troubled former Seton Hall star, not the guy from Undercover Brother
-That Marko Jaric for Sam Cassell trade...it kinda backfired
-Minnesota fans who were excited when they signed Anthony Carter were disappointed when it wasn't this guy
History since 1992: 8 playoff appearances (1997-2004), including an amazing 7 first round exits and one trip to the NBA Western Finals. 1 division title (2004). Team Record: 529-587, .474 winning percentage. 33-49 (.402) season in 2005-06, worst in 10 years.
New York Jets
Reasons for Optimism:
-For Jets haters, plenty of "Mangina" jokes, in reference to new coach Eric Mangini
-Curtis Martin returns for his 39th season as the starting running back
-There's always hope of Joe Namath roaming the sidelines and kissing Suzy Kolber again
-Some of Bill Belichick's Magic Fairy Dust rubs off on Mangini and the Jets ride a tuck rule-esque play to three NFL titles
-No matter how bad they are, they still look better than the Knicks
Reasons for Pessimism:
-Chad Pennington is back, so Jets fans can expect no pass plays to be called over 10 yards
-Any team with a metrosexual advocate like Mike Greenberg as its biggest fan is asking for trouble.
-Washington wouldn't give them a re-do on the Laveranues Coles for Santana Moss swap
-Their nickname, "Gang Green", is actually a decay of body tissue caused by lack of blood flow
History since 1992: 4 playoff appearances (1998, 2001, 2002, 2004), including AFC Championship loss in 1998, 1 1st Round loss, 2 2nd Round losses. 1 division title (1998), tied for 2002 title. Team Record: 87-121, .418 winning percentage. 4-12 in 2005.
New York Knicks
Reasons for Optimism:
-The Isiah fiasco could end within 2006, and this Popcorn thing could be a nice fallback for him
-If they fire Isiah, he won't cost them $40 million to coach one season. Just $125 million to assemble the roster.
-Jerome James' 5-year, $30 million contract gives hope to all guys who average 3 points a game that the big payday is always out there as long as Isiah is around
-Steve Francis and Stephon Marbury still want to win that first playoff series that's eluded them throughout their storied careers.
Reasons for Pessimism:
-With a magical, George Mason-like run, Isiah could have his contract extended
-They drafted Renaldo Balkman, when Isiah thought he was drafting Rolando Blackman (credit to Bill Simmons on that gem)
-Eddy Curry and his bad heart for two first round picks and countless millions, with one pick already turned into Tyrus Thomas. This stuff just writes itself.
-Quite frankly, every loss equals more airtime and screaming from Stephen A. Smith
History since 1992: 10 playoff appearances (1993-2001, 2004); 2 trips to NBA Finals, 2 trips to NBA Eastern Finals, 4 2nd-round exits, 2 1st round-exits. 2 division titles (1993, 1994). Team Record: 606-510, .543 winning percentage. 2 consecutive losing seasons, including a 23-59 (.280) season in 2005-06, the worst by a Knicks team since 1986.
Pittsburgh Pirates
Reasons for Optimism:
-They have a starter in the All Star game, and all it took was a few million ballots punched out by their own employees
-Ogden Nutting might sell his shares in the team, which is great news for Pirates fans. However, fans of Seven Springs resort should now expect less-than-quality slopes, horrible food, and an underachieving staff. But don't worry, because they'll tell you it will get better the next year.
-Jeromy Burnitz and other veterans will probably be traded, which means Former Pirates can be involved in the pennant race for the 14th straight year
Reasons for Pessimism:
-The Pirates will probably try to fill the void left by Oliver Perez and Ryan Vogelsong by trading Zach Duke for a mop-up guy and re-signing Francisco Cordova out of the Mexican Summer League
-The Pirates want to sever ties with Craig Wilson, in part because he drinks too much Pepsi. What's puzzling is that the Pirates have never been particularly worried about diet in the past. You've heard of the "Tiger Slam" in golf, but I'll bet you never heard about portly pitcher Jimmy Anderson's JimJam Slam. On August 2, 2000, the day after he pitched against the Dodgers, Jimmy Anderson ate at PNC Park's Outback Steakhouse, Benkovitz Fish, Primanti's, and the Willie Stargell Chicken Stand, all while a game was going on. The meals cost him a week's pay, but a legend was born.
History since 1992: 0 playoff appearances. 0 winning seasons. Team Record: 902-1135, .443 winning percentage. 3 last place finishes, 5 5th place finishes. Highest was 2nd place in 1997 (79-83).
Tampa Bay Devil Rays
Reasons for Optimism:
-They might change their name next year, which has historically resulted in a championship that same year
-They may stink, but you gotta love how they ripped off the Mets in that Victor Zambrano for Scott Kazmir deal. That trade was truly Pirate-esque by the Mets.
-They have only one former Pirate - Brian Meadows
-The average attendance of 16,000 put no unrealistic expectations or pressures on the players
Reasons for Pessimism:
-Delmon Young throws a bat at an umpire. B.J. Upton gets arrested. What's next, 3B Ty Wigginton punches Brett Myers' wife in the face?
-Russell Branyan's career batting average is .231. His career strikeout average is .404
-They disgusted Lou Piniella so much that he chose to work on Fox with Tim McCarver and Joe Buck rather than manage this team. Ouch.-They play in the same division as the Yankees and the Red Sox. So when they finally win a division title, all the media will want to talk about is why the Yankees and Red Sox aren't in the playoffs.
History since 1992: 0 playoff appearances. 0 winning seasons. Team Record: 518-775, .401 winning percentage. 7 last place finishes and one next-to-last in eight seasons of existence. Highest was 4th place in 2004 (70-91, .435).
So I cast the first vote for THE PIRATES to win a championship first, only because they have as good a chance of any of these hopeless teams. Think about the executives on this list: Marv Levy, Ralph Wilson, Isiah Thomas, Kevin McHale, Matt Millen, etc...This is wide open.