BIG THINGS PREDICTED FOR MAHOLM

On the brink of the Pirates' 2009 season, there's a ray of hope: pitcher Paul Maholm was recently named as the league's #1 breakout player by SI's Jon Heyman. Says Heyman:

1. Paul Maholm, Pirates starter: He was about the best starter down in Florida (2-0, 1.52). Apparently not at all affected by his big winter contract (three years, $14.5 million).

In the course of the past 12 months, Pirates fans have suffered through Losing Season 16.0, the trades of Xavier Nady and Jason Bay, the Pedro Alvarez saga, and recently, the Jose Tabata's wife kidnapping a baby. And that's piled on top of what's happened between 1993-2007. In short, any good news like this is gladly welcomed by the Bucco faithful. And I agree with the assertion that Maholm could have a big year, especially under the tutelage of Joe Kerrigan.

Maholm's had a bit of a roller-coaster ride following his selection as the eighth player overall in the 2003 draft. He was hit in the face with a line drive in 2004, pulverizing the orbital bone around his eye, as well as his sinus and nose. He was lucky enough to be alive, let alone to continue to play baseball, but he was pitching in the bigs a short time later. After a strong debut in the majors in 2005 (3-1, 2.18) in six starts, his ERA ballooned to 4.76 in 2006 and 5.02 in 2007.

2008 was a bounce-back year for the lefty, bringing his ERA down to 3.76 while tossing a career-high 206 innings. Today, he'll be the Pirates' opening day starter in St. Louis (preview) and hopefully he'll be able to expand upon a legacy that still ranks pitching to Billy Crystal among its most memorable moments.



Thirty breakout candidates, Peavy trade still possible and more notes [SI.com]

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Your Obligatory Billy Crystal Video

And finally, we can put a wrap on the Billy Crystal circus. He did manage to make contact against Paul Maholm, but struck out after dramatically running the count to 3-1, saving Maholm's career in the process. After his lone plate appearance, New York fans then showered Crystal in boos, saying he's not a "True Yankee". Crystal was replaced by Johnny Damon, who wowed the fans with an o-for-3, three men left on base performance.

As for the rest of the game, Mike Mussina threw five perfect innings and Mariano Rivera added a scoreless frame before giving way to Human Pitching Machine Jeff Karstens, who allowed seven hits and five runs in an inning and a third.

After those pesky first six innings, the Pirates really found a groove, racking up five runs over the final three. Doug Mientkiewicz led the way with two hits and surprisingly kept no souvenir balls from the day. For those of you wondering, free agent signee Chris Gomez topped the Buccos with five runners left on base. He's really finding his groove, and quicker than anticipated.

Another Pirate free agent pickup, pitcher Byung-Hyun Kim, threw one inning of two-home-run ball. Then again, Kim giving up home runs to the Yankees is not really a new phenomenon.

To steal a cliche that's been beaten to death, at the end of the day, everyone was happy. Billy Crystal got to pretend he was Johnny Damon, Paul Maholm got an autograph, Robin Williams saw his first and presumably last Pirate game, no one got spiked by Shelley Duncan, and the Buccos were victorious.

By the way, don't forget that tickets go on sale tomorrow for A-Rod's appearance next week at the Funny Bone.

Video: Billy Crystal's At-Bat For The Yankees [Awful Announcing]

Maholm strong against Crystal's Yanks [Pirates.com]

So this comedian walks into the batter's box... [ESPN]

It's All Set: Crystal vs. Maholm

In today's upcoming installment of Low Points in Pirate History, it's been announced that this afternoon's Billy Crystal publicity stunt will include a spot as the Yankees' leadoff batter. Crystal will be the DH, to be replaced later in the game by Johnny Damon, the $13 million man whose numbers have been in freefall since his 2006 poaching from the Red Sox. So most Yankee fans probably won't even notice the lineup change.

It looks like Crystal will get a crack at Paul Maholm, (he of the 5.02 ERA last season) which means he's got a fighting chance of getting a hit. If there's some way he could stretch it into a double, is there any possibility of Crystal going spikes-first into second base? He is a Yankee, after all:

So this comedian walks into the batter's box... [ESPN]

Pirates indifferent to Yankees' Crystal [Pirates.com]

Yankees and Rays Fight: In Video Form! FanHouse - AOL Sports Blog

Yankees Bring Out Big Guns For Pirates

A big-name free agent was signed this week, and for once, it wasn't done by the Cleveland Browns. In a bold move, the Yankees signed Billy Crystal, also known as Obnoxious New York Fan #17,263,859, to a minor-league contract. Crystal will suit up, work out on Wednesday, and see some game action on Thursday, in a real-life version of fantasy camp. The Yankee opponent? That would be your Pittsburgh Pirates. So obviously, it's no holds barred for that matchup.

Crystal's signing comes on the eve of his 60th birthday, and it has the blessings of Bud Selig, who's proven time and time again that he's in touch with the baseball public.

The Buccos will more than likely make a signing of their own to even the score. Probably a local guy with a little name recognition that still allows them some "payroll flexibility". Anyone else thinking this guy would fit the bill?

Even Old Comedians Think They Can Hit The Pirates [Bugs and Cranks]