The following is the Q&A transcript with Drinkson Koolaidevic, the baseball beat reporter for the Manatee Community College student newspaper, The Daily Sea Cow. Drinkson was gracious enough to answer fans’ questions in the wake –– whoops! egregious word choice –– of last week’s 5-0 exhibition loss against the Pittsburgh Pirates.
Q: Drinkson, I’ve been following Manatee Community College baseball since the days of Lance Carter. How long are we going to have to put up with these losses against the Pirates? Coming into the game the Lancers had a 14-5 record and they were coming off a 24-6 drubbing of the Eckerd College JV team a day earlier. Then they go into McKechnie Field and lay a goose egg! No bats –– just three lousy hits –– and starting pitcher Scott Rembisz gives up four runs in the first inning. I just can’t take watching this team anymore.
Lance R. Fan of Bradenton, Fla.
KOOLAIDEVIC: Whew! Where to begin? You’re certainly not the only one jaded after all these years. But Tim Hill and his coaching staff are confident that Rembisz and the rest of their starting rotation can make this team a winner. All of the starters had Tommy John surgery out of high school after signing their letters of intent to play at MCC. Although Rembisz has been experiencing shoulder “tenderness” this spring, he and the rest of the pitchers are poised to have good seasons. Manatee fired its pitching coach from last year and brought in each of pitchers’ high school coaches to get back their original mechanics.
As far the offensive futility, maybe the Lancers should take after the intrinsic batting philosophy of Pirates uber-prospect Steve Pearce in “punishing the ball” and having “bad intentions with every swing.”
Q: Are you kidding? Pearce already hit his prime playing while in the Pirates farm system. He’s a career minor-leaguer and will never amount to anything.
P.S.
Do the Pirates have any roster spots for me and my friend Adam H.?
KOOLAIDEVIC: Chad, I’d call the Pirates back after July and hope Xavier Nady and Jason Bay have good, trade-baiting seasons. Best of luck!
Q: Hey DK, Manatee catcher Garrett Gregory hit a third-inning double off Pirates non-roster invitee reliever Jesse Chavez. Gregory’s bat is really coming around. He’s in shape (6-1, 195 pounds). He backed up first base on every Bucco groundout. And the Engineering/Physics major has a 4.0 GPA!!! Did the Pirates’ enigmatic backstop take notice?
Paul E. Nohater of McKee Rocks
KOOLAIDEVIC: I did see Gregory giving Ronny Paulino pointers. Paulino is doing all he can to overcome this wretched bout of unabashed laziness that plagued his 2007 season.
Q: Drinkson, as a student journalist, did you happen to “rub elbows” with some of the professional journalists from Pittsburgh covering the Pirates?
Red Allover of Monroeville
KOOLAIDEVIC: Actually, Red, I was able to offer the homesick Pittsburgh scribes some assistance. I gave the one fellow from the Post-Gazette some sound advice on loading all his Depeche Mode songs onto an iPod. That poor sap from the Tribune-Review didn’t take my advice on applying sunscreen to his face after shaving; he started hallucinating about Mr. Red because of it. Jenifer from MLB.com, she just hates the traffic and having to eat at T.G.I. Friday’s every night. Then there’s that big galoot John Perrotto; he’s out there with a butterfly net trying to capture some of that “air of optimism” that seems to be lingering around Pirates spring training camp.
Q: D-KOOL, Here in Pittsburgh we have bobblehead nights. What kind of promotions does Manatee have?
Seymour Fierwurx of New Castle
KOOLAIDEVIC: Promotions have not gone over well at MCC since our wayward mascot gave kids prophylactics to promote his lewd website.
Q: Hey Kool-Aid Man, I’ve been reading all your “Linking Logs” articles in the Daily Sea Cow. Based on what you’ve seen, do you really think that Manatee Community College can beat the Pirates next year with the amount of talent the Buccos have this year.
Joey Yinzer of North Side
KOOLAIDEVIC: “OH YEAH!!!”
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