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The Mondesi's House Team: Hot Dog Zanzabar


Column: Hot Dog Zanzabar's Message Board Mayhem

Frequency: Weekly

Background: For those of you that don’t know Hot Dog Zanzabar, I’ve been a commenter on this website for the last year and a half. I’ve been a Pittsburgh sports fan my whole life. I wasn’t even in my teens when the Pirates last had a winning season, but I continue to pound my head against the wall for 162 days out of the summer. I met Mario Lemieux at a car dealership in 1985 at the tender age of 4 and somehow that is one of my first memories. Like just about every other male born in western Pennsylvania, sports are a religion and we go to Heinz Field every Sunday for services. The advent of the internet changed everything. The internet has increased the amount of coverage that’s available and it changed the way we followed our teams. Instead of picking up the morning paper to read about the game, you can just point and click your way before the game is over.
One thing that has since evolved (or devolved) is message boards. I’ve been a reader of message boards for the last seven years. I highlighted the word ‘reader’ since there is a big distinction between some of the lunatics that post on message boards and those that read. I’m here to do the heavy lifting for everyone. My column will focus on the vomit that is spewed from the keypads of the guys that live in their mother’s basement who feel like they can coach better than Mike Tomlin, Mike Therrien, or Jamie Dixon. You know who I’m referring to: that guy that thinks the Yankees are going to give up Joba Chamberlain and Phil Hughes to get their hands on Damaso Marte. Of course, when the team's GM suggests David Wright-for-Kris Benson, that puts everything in perspective. But I digress.

They're out there in droves, people. And they're really entertaining. My job is to bring them to your monitor, scary a proposition as that sounds. If I offend some of you, that's only because the truth hurts.


Koz said...

This is an excellent idea with major potential. Do you plan on editing the material for grammar and spelling or are you just going to present it... "organically?" That could be half the fun right there!

I participate in one message board and it's not much of a rumor mill ( It's more like Cheers. It's generally the same few dozen guys posting and we've recently been talking about scheduling a reunion sometime. Actually, I guess it would be a union, since we've never met, but I don't want to have to go to Massachusetts or Vermont, so let's just call it a gathering, ok?

Good luck to you!

HotDog_Zanzabar said...

I plan to include ALL grammatical errors. Believe me, it is more than half of the fun. That's why I reserve my thoughts for this website since a great deal of the people here type like they have some semblance of an IQ.

For instance, a WVU fan opined (I'm paraphrasing somewhat) on the Pitt board that "...are three BCS Bowls in the last 3 years...". This sentence just about sums up the mission statement of my column, an ill-informed idiot that can't spell.