Big Lead Sports Bar

1/07/2007

Monday Morning Wrapup: Playoff Edition

Colts 23, Chiefs 8: This game set football back about 20 years. I'll start with the Chiefs, who I had zero faith in to win this game. Herm Edwards and Trent Green do not come home with Lombardi Trophies. That's just a fact. And amazingly enough, they underperformed even my low expectations. The KC game plan was to run, run, run, since the Colts have such a historically bad run defense. Of course, if you know exactly what your opponent is going to do, that defense gets a lot easier to execute. So the Chiefs ran right into a Colts D expecting the run. Brilliant work, Herminator.
The horrendous Chiefs passing attack accounted for a grand total of 82 yards, including a whole two completions to receivers. And they were both to Dante Hall, who doesn't even start and is really a kick returner in a wide receiver's body. They couldn't even set up the run via the pass. Even when they made a play on defense and intercept Peyton Manning, the Chiefs went three-and-out inside the Colts' 10 and missed a 23-yard field goal. Can someone remind me why Kansas City when to such great lengths to steal Herm Edwards away from the Jets?
Seahawks 21, Cowboys 20- The national media continues to not surprise me. Tony Romo blows the hold, the Cowboys never get a chance to even kick the game-winning field goal, and the Cowboys lose. The media reaction? It's a good thing for Dallas, because it will help Romo mature for the future. Yeah, it's fantastic to be bounced out of the playoffs in a wide-open year by a team you should have beaten. I'm sure Cowboys fans are ecstatic about Tony Romo's psyche in 2007.
Patriots 37, Jets 16- You say Mangenius, I say Mangina, let's call the whole thing off. The Jets look like a mirror image of the Patriots, minus a few players. It's clear that the Jets are trying to completely replicate the New England organization. All they need is a tattered, cut-off hoodie for Mangini.
An amazing factoid: of all the non-playmaking receivers on the Patriots roster, four of them are from the University of Florida: Chad Jackson, Reche Caldwell, Jabar Gaffney, and Kelvin Kight. Actually, Gaffney had a decent game on Sunday. But seriously, people are always banging on the Patriots about their receivers, yet all they do is keep winning. They made it a lot further than the teams that had Chad Johnson, Andre Johnson, Terrell Owens, Larry Fitzgerald, and Randy Moss (actually, Moss isn't even in this conversation anymore). And it irks me that Deion Branch seems to get confused with Jerry Rice since his holdout started. He was a nice receiver, but asked for and got waaaay too much cash. The guy never had a 1,000-yard season and he gets $39 million? The Pats go into 2007 with $30 million in cap room. So basically, they're rebuilding and still winning playoff games. Goes to show you the true value of wide receivers. Remember, the Steelers won the Super Bowl without Plaxico Burress, not with him.
By the way, I had to mention the Shawne Merriman halftime interview. He was wearing some sort of King Kong Bundy-looking tank top (as illustrated below) while talking smack on Pittsbugh's own Jason Taylor and having little remorse for his steroid-tainted season. Good stuff.

Eagles 23, Giants 20- A much closer game than I imagined. But who didn't love when 285+ pound Jared Lorenzen trotted out there as the Giants' short-yardage quarterback? What, was Colonel Coughlin watching Tim Tebow tapes?
The best part of this game is that we can finally get rid of Tiki Barber the football player. The downside is that we now get to deal with Tiki Barber, the personality. I think folks are getting a little carried away when they talk Hall of Fame for the Tikster. He's going out as the 17th all-time leading rusher and a three-time Pro Bowler. That's fine and good, but 16th all-time is Ricky Watters, a guy who is not in the Hall of Fame, a guy who might never be in the Hall of Fame. Watters had seven 1,000-yard seasons, Barber had six. Watters had five Pro Bowl appearances, Barber three. Watters had 666 postseason yards and 8 TDs; Barber had 475 and 1. Watters won a Super Bowl, Barber did not. So why the hypocrisy? Because Barber plays in New York and is everywhere, that's why.
Pitt 69, South Florida 48- I have to admit, it was hard to focus on a Pitt matchup against South Florida with an NFL playoff game going on. But I tried my best. Big East Preseason Player of the Year Aaron Gray scored a mere seven points in the win, and Ron Cook calls him on it.
Bobby Petrino is suddenly out at Louisville and in with the Atlanta Falcons, only to be eventually killed by Michael Vick. The leading candidates to replace Petrino are Tulsa coach Steve Kragthorpe and Alabama coach Nick Saban.
The exploits of the Pittsburgh XPlosion are well documented on this site, but check out this post from Rizzo: the XPlosion have resorted to offering 10% commissions to ticket buyers who dupe friends into buying tickets.
Good stuff from this weekend:
Sidney Crosby's goal- For those of you who were watching The Simpsons and may have missed it, Sid the Kid scored from his stomach (video). You also missed Andre Roy on the Tampa side, this time doing the instigating that the Penguins paid for but never received. And you missed another Pens shootout loss. Even the rally helmets were helpless in defeat.
Jackass Number Two- If you liked the original, you'll enjoy this one as well. Although I didn't understand the need for all the random celebrity cameos. Three stars out of four.
Surreal Life: Fame Games- I'm not a reality TV fan, but for some reason I like this show. I caught the first episode, and they bring back some of the all-time greats under one roof: Mini-Me, Chyna, Pepa, Ron Jeremy, Vanilla Ice, Brigitte Nielsen, C.C. Deville, Traci Bingham, Webster, Andrea Lowell (who?)...but alas, no Flav. This comes after the new season of Hogan Knows Best and before the new show Shooting Sizemore in the Celebreality block.
The Lord Sear Special – The Extended Drunk Mix- Any Sirius radio owners out there? I'm still getting my bearings, although I greatly enjoy what I've heard so far. It's nice to be reunited with Howard Stern. And there are ample sports selections and 100s of channels in all. I would strongly endorse it to anyone on the bubble.
So on the way home Friday night, I found this unintentional comedy gem on Sirius' "Shade 45"...you know, the Eminem channel.
Since my words could not begin to capture the show's spirit, I'll give you the official Sirius description:
When he's not on the All Out Show with Rude Jude or drunk by the bar, Lord Sear can be found behind the turntables playing rare unreleased joints, freestyles and special treats from his crates that will make you stop and say "Whoa"! (Grey Goose not included).
Yeah, that basically sums it up. It's 2 hours of unfiltered rap chaos. Just absolute mayhem. Highly entertaining mayhem.
A classic sports argument with my Dad (a.k.a. Felipe Mondesi)- While visiting my parents and watching Chiefs/Colts, my father and I had a great sports argument for the ages. Voices were raised. Points were made and contested. Tensions rose. And then my Mom told us to stop arguing and help her take down Christmas decorations. So we agreed to settle it on Mondesi's House. I'm thinking a Tuesday "Mondesi Show" should do the trick.
Not-so-good stuff from this weekend:
KDKA's cheesy "Thanks Coach Cowher" commercials- Yeah, I could have done without those.
The "Rock Em Sock Em Robots" Commerical for the Dodge Ram- What is it about car companies and absolute saturation of an ad this year? First it was "This is ouuuuuur country", and now this. Between the college bowl games and the NFL playoffs, I think I've seen this ad 1,423 times in the past seven days.
The Black Dahlia- Scarlett Johansson, Hilary Swank, Josh Hartnett, a Brian DePalma movie, a famous Hollywood mystery...I had high hopes. But as we learned with this year's Steelers, high hopes can equal high disappointment...and this was high disappointment.

3 comments:

tbart213 said...

King King Bundy...I wonder if HE could buy the Pens or the Bucs.

Cecil from Cecil Twp. said...

I agree on the ads. American automakers just don't get it. "This Is Our Country," GMC's Key's to Victory, and Rock 'Em, Sock 'Em robots are so annoying that I will run across my living room to grab the remote and change the channel when either of those three appears on my screen.

Talk about engaging your audience...

Louis Lipps is my homeboy said...

The thing is, do car commercials really sell any cars to anyone besides people that have enough money to jump off the couch and buy a brand new car at any moment?