Bargains Galore at PirateFest

In case you missed it, PirateFest went down this weekend. You know, the annual offseason gathering of the worst organization in baseball to try and enthuse their fans for yet another season full of letdowns. With the momentum of offseason acquisition Chris Gomez to drive traffic, the Pirates somehow managed to get 14,511 Pittsburghers through the doors, the third-highest total in PirateFest history. I guess anything's possible when the Steelers are done and the Penguins are at the All-Star break.

At the very least, though, you can say that Jason Bay is not too enthused about his team's prospects of turning it around this year. Because if anyone's qualified to call out his team, it's a guy whose numbers went from 35/109/.286 in 2006 to 21/84/.247 in 2007.

In addition to free autographs from the likes of Brian Bixler and Nyjer Morgan, the Buccaneers were also having a memorabilia sale. And guess whose "officially used" Pirate merchandise you could buy? Raul Mondesi!

Reader Dave sent in this note and photo:

Had to share this acquisition from Piratefest with you. The Pirates were selling nameplates from lockers at a booth with the game used jerseys. One pile was from Mother's Day 2004. Good thing the Pirates decided to finally sell this for the breast cancer charity, four years later! They were $20 per. I picked up the Mondesi and offered $10. This was too big of a decision for the cashier so he summoned a lady in the booth. While she was contemplating my offer, I interjected, 'Nobody in their right mind is going to pay you $20 for Mondesi's locker plate, even for charity. Think about it.'

$10 is probably too much for anything related to Raul Mondesi, but given the fact that I could get some comedic value out of it, I'll give my stamp of approval to the purchase.

I was at the original PirateFest, way back in 1990. I stood in line for hours waiting to meet Bobby Bonilla, and getting his signature on that 1987 Topps card with the wood borders would probably net me about $5 today. But the experience of all that waiting, and then finally meeting a disinterested Bobby Bo...I'll remember it for a lifetime.

Bay disappointed about lack of Pirates' offseason moves [PG]

Bucs wrap up 2008 PirateFest [MLB.com]

The News...Finally

A recap of your favorite links, named in honor of Mike Tomlin

"I'm not telling a story. I'm reporting the news."

Don't forget, any news you send automatically enters into the drawing for the 1979 Pirates World Series DVD set. Send them to mondesishouse@gmail.com

--How did Big Ben celebrate his one-year accident anniversary? Watching the Pirates with main squeeze Missy Peregrym. Make your own caption.

--Not to pick on Dejan Kovacevic, as I think he has possibly the worst job in the world and does excellent work on a regular basis. But I don't know if I'd describe the Pirates' 7-5 win last night as a "drubbing".

--Quote of the day, from Ichiro: “To tell the truth, I’m not excited to go to Cleveland, but we have to,” Ichiro said through an interpreter. "If I ever saw myself saying I’m excited going to Cleveland, I’d punch myself in the face, because I’m lying.”

For a Japanese guy, he's picked up on the "Cleveland Sucks" theory pretty quickly.

--Regular emailer Bill from Philadelphia called the Big Ben motorcycle accident a year before it happened. And the proof is in the Post-Gazette's letters section from 2005.

--You have to read any article that starts like this: "It’s probably the best time ever to be a Pirate fan. As the Bucs go for their unprecedented 16th straight division title, this year’s team - picked by many experts to go to the World Series - is deep and talented."

--Bengal receiver/Choir Boy Chris Henry is in trouble again, accused of administering a beat-down to a 16-year-old guy.

--ESPN rates the top 100 MLB players. Of note:

57. Tom Gorzelanny

61. Jason Bay

73. Ian Snell

--ESPN also projects the All-Star rosters, and Gorzo is the only Buc who makes the cut.

--Congrats to former Bucs Bobby Bonilla and Dick Stuart, starters on the Bugs & Cranks All-Time Lead Glove Awards Team

--The Pirates' ballot-stuffing employees might be at it again, as they're currently ranked #2 in the Rocky Mountain News' User Power Rankings.

--Is it time to change the Pirates' name? Before you answer that, remember, the name Wild Things is already taken.

--Chad Scott, the Steelers DB formerly known as Wolverine, may be the Patriots' starting corner this year.

--Here's a great article chronicling the party animal known as the Stanley Cup.

--Much like Luke Ravenstahl, we need to get excited for the upcoming US Open at Oakmont. ESPN.com has a great preview, and locally, check out Rizzo Sports for their take (and their predictions)

--Want to get Tiger's autograph this weekend? Good luck. And by the way, if you happen to get one, it's worth a few hundred bucks.

--Speaking of Ravenstahl, Newsweek's Howard Fineman says we can all learn something from him.

--Eric Staal will grace the cover of NHL 2008. Why not Jordan Staal?

--Ana Ivanovic...the new Anna Kournikova?

--"No joke necessary" department: Woman named Butts charged with stealing toilet paper from courthouse

--Don't use too much muscle cream...you might die.

--The Knicks will take on Tel Aviv Israel Maccabi on October 11th. The early line has the Knicks as 10-point dogs.

--Howard Stern sidekick and Mondesi's House favorite Artie Lange is doing a second show in Pittsburgh on June 29th at The Funny Bone. This is after his 8 PM show at Heinz Hall. Sounds like a busy night for old Art.

--James Gandolfini tries to convince himself he can put The Sopranos behind him. He can then enjoy the success Ed O'Neill had after being Al Bundy, Michael Richards had after being Kramer, and Jaleel White had after being Urkel.

--Paris Hilton says she'll "no longer act dumb". Wait, that was an act?

--Yep, Paris is definitely a changed person. In other news, her rich dad is asking for a $50,000 ransom to host her get-out-of-jail party.

--The upcoming book about Lindsay Lohan could be the best read since Moneyball.

--Rest in peace, Mr. Wizard.

Photo of the day, from the team whose fans crap in the stands: