Big Lead Sports Bar

1/25/2009

SB43: THE MOVIE

Ever wonder what would happen if there was a movie made about the big game? Of course not. But people are always doing fictional "casting calls" around the net, so I thought it was high time that some of the greatest "separated at births" were gathered together for a fictitious movie that will never be made. Your cast includes...

STEELERS:

QB Ben Roethlisberger will be played by The Burger King



WR Hines Ward will be played by rapper/actor LL Cool J



Backup QB Charlie Batch will be played by singer John Legend



D-Coordinator Dick LeBeau will be played by Crocodile Dundee, Paul Hogan



DB Ike Taylor will be played by rapper R. Kelly



DB William Gay will be played by terrified WR Reche Caldwell



2008 Steeler ROY Patrick Bailey will be played by Spiderman's James Franco


LB Larry Foote will be played by Cuba Gooding Jr


Backup QB Byron Leftwich will be played by "Rerun", Fred Berry


D-Lineman Chris Hoke will be played by Adam Savage of Mythbusters


RB Fast Willie Parker will be played by rapper Cassidy


O-lineman Trai Essex will be played by American Idol's Ruben Studdard


DB Anthony Madison will be played by the Food Network's Aaron McCargo


Much-maligned punter Mitch Berger will be played by Adam Carolla


WR Santonio Holmes will be played by wrestler Kofi Kingston


Offensive Coordinator Bruce Arians will be played by Bruce Willis


LB Andre Frazier will be played by rapper Timbaland


Steeler Alum Jerome Bettis will be played by Dr. Julius Hibbert of The Simpsons


LB James Harrison will be played by Tiny Lister Jr from Friday


Kicker Jeff Reed will be played by The Food Network's Guy Fieri


Troy Polamalu will be portrayed by guitarist Kim Thayil of Soundgarden


DE Orpheus Roye will be played by Mr. T.


Mascot Steely McBeam will be played by the construction worker from the Village People


Omar Epps takes on the role of Coach Mike Tomlin


Steelers Owner Dan Rooney will be portrayed by former NBA coach Hubie Brown


CARDINALS:

Coach Ken Whisenhunt will be played by his former boss, Bill Cowher


QB Kurt Warner will be played by the Simpsons' Lenny


Brenda Warner (pre-makeover) will be played by Dolph "Ivan Drago" Lundgren



QB Matt Leinart will be played by Bob Guiney of The Bachelor


RB Edgerrin James will be taken on by rapper Lil Wayne


All-World WR Larry Fitzgerald will be played by soccer star Ronaldinho


Backup QB Brian St. Pierre will be played by Brian St. Pierre impersonator Brian Jackson

Cards assistant coach Russ Grimm will be played by William Forsythe


WR Anquan Boldin can only be played by WR Terrell Owens



Cardinals owner Bill Bidwill will be played by actor Sebastian Cabot of "Family Affair"


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Check out some of the better look-a-like galleries that were of great assistance for this compilation: Extremeskins, Orioles Hangout, Chargers Forum, Drivl, and the Giants message board. And please feel free to add your suggestions below.

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More Casting Calls:
Pittsburgh Pirates: The Movie (2006)
Pittsburgh Pirates: The Movie II (2007)
Pittsburgh Pirates: The Movie III (2008)

11 comments:

The Big Picture said...

dr. hibbert! priceless!

HotDog_Zanzabar said...
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HotDog_Zanzabar said...

We have to make sure our starting cornerback doesn't urinate on any 15 year old girls

Todd said...

Byron Leftwich should be played by "Fat Albert" Kenan Thompson.

Other than that; comedy gold.

Charlie Hildbold said...

Actually I was thinking Byron Leftwich should be played by Gary Coleman...

http://www.sportaphile.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/leftwich-colemany.jpg

Louis Lipps Sinks Ships said...

I think I saw Darnell Stapleton hosting The View the other day. (My girlfriend was watching it...I swear!)

BurressWithButterflyWings said...

Limas Sweed should be played by "Hot Hands" Hanon from The Little Giants or Clifford Franklin(Orlando Jones)from The Replacements

Mandy said...

i think whisenhunt should be played by woody harrelson, but otherwise this is hilarious.

http://gagathemovies.com/cast/Woody%20Harrelson.jpg

pens fan in philly said...
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pens fan in philly said...

agreed... keenan is the only option for byron leftwich

Lenny in VA said...

What about Casey Hampton? Whoever you pick, won't you need 2 of 'em?