Big Lead Sports Bar


Mark Cuban in Town, Rumored to Buy Pitt

Last night was quite the depressing evening at the Petersen Events Center, but all was not lost. Favorite son Mark Cuban was back in town and donning an Oakland Zoo t-shirt while witnessing the carnage at hand. The occasion? Mark is buying Pitt!

Now we all know that Mark has been known to profess his desire to buy the Pirates or the Penguins, but who knew he was interested in buying a whole university?

"I love Pitt. Absolutely love it. I bought this Oakland Zoo shirt on Forbes Avenue, I scored some great seats, and I enjoyed watching the game. I wish the outcome would have been better, but all teams have their ups and downs. It was just not their night."

When the issue was pressed, Cuban gave up more info on his desire to purchase the storied school:

"There's a lot of positive energy here. Dave Wannstedt and I have the Dallas thing in common, with me owning the Mavericks and him coaching there under Jimmy Johnson. And I'm really looking forward to watching LeSean McCoy play. In fact, I'm having a McCoy jersey stitched up as we speak. I want to do some innovative things at Heinz Field and expand the luxury section of the Pete. I think this is a tremendous opportunity to pick up two franchises plus some nice buildings in the process. I'm actually leaving here and driving to Terrelle Pryor's house to tell him about my vision and hopefully he make his commitment to Pitt firm. I'm so excited. I can't wait to write about this on Blog Maverick."

In other news, from the game, Art Rooney II and Mike Tomlin were also on hand to represent the Steelers. The hot word is that they were there to scout Aaron Gray and potentially turn him into a tight end, like Antonio Gates and Chevy Troutman.

*For those of you who haven't caught on, this is a parody. Mark Cuban doesn't really want to buy Pitt...or any other Pittsburgh team. And while Rooney and Tomlin were at the game, they're not drafting another tight end. They already have one that they aren't using, so why draft another?


Anonymous said...

Pitt really picked a good time of the year to go into a funk. That was the most lethargic performance that I've seen by ANY basketball team on ANY level in a long long time.

This team wasn't shooting, rebounding, defending, you name it. The Louisville press threw them for a complete loop. Look to see every possible future opponent copying Louisville's blueprint for success in upcoming weeks.

While I'm on my rant, why does Mike Cook continue to get minutes for this team? His play has been awful for a long time. In addition, last night Sam Young looked like he was lost in space... so did the usually reliable Levon Kendall. The Pitt guards couldn't make a shot if their life depended on it and the coach? What was he he thinking? Did he ever hear of a full court press himself? Pitt didn't go into one until about eight minutes to go with the outcome already established and long decided.

My grades for last night:

Coaching F

Intensity F

Shooting F

Defense F

Ball handling F

My next moves as a coach: Bench Mike Cook for lethargic, sloppy, even stupid play. Work on playing a full court press, work on breaking a full court press. Talk to Sam Young and explain to him that he can't just stand around and occasionally attempt a slam dunk. There's more to basketball than what he showed last night.

If I didn't know better, I'd swear that Pitt played like it was hung over from a frat party or maybe was smoking reefer in the locker room...that's how bad they looked.

They were so lethargic; not sharp in their reaction, their defense was awful, their shooting even worse. Hey they're college kids, who knows?

Fact of the matter, I've really loved watching this team and I'm a big Pitt fan. But they were so out of character that it was shocking. They played like a team that just didn't feel like playing and it really showed.

Jamie Dixon is going to have a real job on his hands getting them past this awful performance and back to playing with confidence and enthusiasm.

If nothing else, this stunning defeat showed the rest of the Big East that Pitt indeed is not invincible. This was no fluke, no buzzer beater upset. This was a sound thrashing, a "taking out to the woodshed" that hasn't been seen around here in a long time.

Maybe this slap across the face will show them that they need to bring their "A" game to the gym every night, especially at this time of the year.

Alex said...

I talked to Mark Cuban last night at the Pitt basketball game and i told him to buy the pirates and he said back to me "yeah and then pens too, theyre rockin right now"
so possibility that he really is in town to work on a deal to buy the pens????

Russell Lucas said...

Why does Pitt BB wear white unis at home?

Cause they're like snow. They disappear in March.

Syzslak11 said...

Mondesi, FYI, Mark Madden stole this bit verbatim today.