Big Lead Sports Bar


Monday Morning Wrapup

There were many mismatched college football games this weekend, with teams having absolutely no chance of winning...Buffalo vs. Auburn, Middle Tennessee State vs. Oklahoma, The Citadel vs. Pitt, Rice vs. Florida State, Troy vs. Nebraska, Penn State vs. Ohio State....
I kid, I kid. You had to feel bad for Penn State. They put up a great defensive effort, only to be overshadowed by Joe Paterno's constant trips to the men's room. And Anthony Morelli threw touchdowns #2 and 3 that counted for the other side. The Valley is not Happy these days.
Pitt 51, The Citadel 6 - Pitt overcomes a roster headed by a player named "Palmer Kitna" en route to a romp on Saturday. Tyler Palko throws touchdowns #9, 10, 11 and 12...that DO count for Pitt.
Notre Dame 40, Michigan State 37 - I don't know what made me feel worse: watching Michigan State give up 19 unanswered points in the fourth quarter, or the haunting memory of a wet, soggy Charlie Weis roaming the sidelines.
Colts 21, Jaguars 14 - Nice knowing you for a week, Jags. Enjoy your return to the Pay No Mind list. Maybe you can still rank yourself high on the Power Rankings this week.
Seahawks 42, Giants 30 - Someone should really tell the Giants that the first 45 minutes of the game count, too. Today they rattle off 27 in a row in a furious 4th quarter rally but come up 12 points short. Once again, I look to the football pundits, the paid experts that told us after last week's Giants game that Eli Manning had definitively arrived in the NFL. The same Eli Manning that would lead his team to a 42-3 hole after three quarters. Again, another example of great work by the experts.
This game also offered several milestones in the 2006 season:
1. The official moment when all fantasy players who drafted Shaun Alexander in the top two realize he's averaging about 60 yards a game this season.
2. The first benching of Plaxico Burress by Col. Tom Coughlin. His sideways-visor wearing on the sidelines was the key to the Giants' 4th-quarter heroics.
3. Jeremy Shockey calling out Coughlin for the first time this year, saying the Giants were "outcoached"
Broncos 17, Patriots 7 - Yep, Jake "256 yards and 2 TDs at New England" Plummer should definitely be benched for a rookie from Vanderbilt.
Dolphins 13, Titans 10 - Daunte Culpepper had another mediocre outing, throwing for just 168 yards in a nail biter against one of the NFL's worst teams. Say what you want about the real Culpepper, but the video version keeps getting his roll on in those Madden 2007 commercials. By the way, all you amateurs GMs who insisted the Steelers draft pudgy malcontent Lendale White, please note that he has a grand total of 24 yards on nine carries so far for the Titans.
Ravens 15, Browns 14 - The media hype for Baltimore's swagger being back was dead-on. When you give up 298 yards passing to Charlie Frye and still escape with a win, swagger away.
Panthers 26, Bucs 24 - This game was so bad for Tampa Bay, it cost Chris Simms his spleen. Nothing like an 0-3 start and a future of Tim Rattay and Bruce Gradkowski quarterbacking your team. Of course, Tampa wasn't going anywhere with Phil Jr., either. Maybe when Simms is in the hospital he can get that tattoo of another dude's initials lasered off his leg.
Trevor Hoffman notches record-setting save vs. Pirates - Unfortunately, Freddy Sanchez, the feel-good story in another year of feeling bad for the Pirates, was the final victim. The Buccos finished 2-4 on the road trip, with some impressive wins over an emotional Dodgers team and some close calls aginst the Padres.
Tonight: Falcons at Saints - If you're down for a few hours of ESPN patting themselves on the back while Joe Theismann speaks in cliched circles about what football means to New Orleans, knock yourself out with this one.

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