This weekend represented the first Sunday of the NFL season, some big college matchups, and Dave Wannstedt's first college road win. So let's get into it.
Pittsburgh beats Cincinnati in football, again. Be it pro, college, high school, or Pop Warner, Pittsburgh is just plain better than Cincinnati at football. No torn ACLs in this one, but the Bearcats did become the first road victim of Hurricane Wanny on Friday night, falling to the Pitt Panthers, 33-15 . Tyler Palko is no Charlie Batch, but he's pretty close, throwing touchdowns #4,5, and 6 in the young season. Future millionaire Darrelle Revis iced the game with a 57 yard INT return late in the fourth quarter. Next victim: Michigan State, Saturday, noon.
Stephon Marbury is coming to Pittsburgh. No, Isiah didn't trade him to the Pittsburgh XPlosion. Marbury has embarked on a tour of Steve and Barry's University Sportswear stores to promote his new $15 shoes, "Starbury". Picture this scenario: I'm driving on Sunday morning, listening to ESPN radio's Sunday football coverage, and who do they have on...Stephon Marbury?? So Starbury proceeds to stumble his way through an interview, mostly incoherent with loads of background noise from his boys. It was simply awful radio, and didn't really have anything to do with football, but hey, it's Starbury. He'll be appearing at Century III Mall this Tuesday, Sept 12 at 4 PM. I also heard that he'll be stopping by Peabody HS that day.
Best part of the interview? When the host said "I don't know what the big deal is about the Knicks. So they had two losing seasons. The Pirates have had 14 in a row." Apparently he forgot that in 2005 the Knicks had a league-leading $125 million payroll, a league-low .280 winning percentage, and a coach that they paid $40 million for one year's work. And they play in the largest market in the country. But other than that, they're exactly the same as the Pirates.
A Manning finally wins a bowl game- The much-hyped Manning Bowl came down to the wire on Sunday night, and sure enough, one of them wilted under the pressure and threw a killer interception. Take a guess...which one?? No, it wasn't Archie, or non-millionaire NFL quarterback brother Cooper, it was Elisha (yes, that's his real name) Manning effectively killing his team's chances of victory in the 4th quarter. Nick "Please Don't Stab Me Again" Harper picked off Manning, Adam Vinatieririri kicked a 32-yard field goal, and the Colts win, 26-21. By the way, Plaxico Burress looked like Lynn Swann Jr., with two amazing catches, 80 yards, and a TD. He's really great. Next time you see him, ask to see his Super Bowl ring.
Ohio State thumps Texas - I thought ESPN or ABC would have mentioned that this game would be on TV, but I heard nothing about it, so I had to go with the boxscore: 24-7, Ohio State. Maurice Clarett had a huge game, and the Israeli Mob was there to support him.
Penn State falls to Touchdown Jesus- The Nittany Nation is mighty disappointed with their team's performance in South Bend on Saturday. Anthony Morelli's play resulted in 2 touchdowns, but unfortunately for the Lions, one of them counted for Notre Dame. Meanwhile, Brady Quinn threw for 287 yards and 3 TDs, so he should pretty much have the Heisman locked up in a week or so.
Favre is shut out- The Gunslinger suffered his first career shutout at the hands of the vaunted Bears defense by a count of 26-0. Ol' #4 didn't disappoint, tossing two interceptions and a QB rating of 40. Yep, this is going to be a fun team to follow in 2006.
Seattle edges Detroit, 9-6- Seattle, showing once again that they were in fact the top team in 2005, proved it while crushing the high-flying Detroit Lions offense in a thrilling 9-6 win. This was a big game for the Seahawks front office, who proved that they can win without free agent defector/ stud OL Steve Hutchinson. Of course, Matt Hasselbeck did get sacked five times, and Shaun Alexander had just 51 yards rushing, but at least the refs didn't get in the way of THIS victory.
Bengals begin QB Revenge Tour - The Cincinnati Bengals executed their plan to perfection in week one, with the plan being taking out the opponent's QB each week as retribution to the entire league for the Carson Palmer injury. This week's victim was Chiefs QB Trent Green. I have to admit, my only real memory of Green is when he got prank called on an episode of Crank Yankers. I'm not real familiar with his quarterbacking expertise. But I do feel bad for him. And myself, because I have him in my fantasy league. I also feel bad for my other QB in that league, who missed week one while having his appendix removed.
Cardinals/49ers game features five Pitt Panthers - Larry Fitzgerald, Gerald Hayes, Antonio Bryant, Andy Lee, and Shawntae Spencer all suited up in this one. Somewhere, Walt Harris is smiling.
Ravens shut out Bucs - Yep, all those preseason Chris Simms being awesome columns were dead-on, as evidenced by his 133 yards and 3 INTs for the Bucs today. I should have looked closer at who actually wrote those columns. The name was "P. Simms".
Patriots edge Bills- The Ralph Wilson/Marv Levy brain trust nearly upended the NFL's resident hooded genius in this one. The Patriots, who feature the league's deepest receiving core led by Reche Caldwell and Doug Gabriel, sqeaked out a 19-17 win with a late sack of J.P. Lossman. The Pats look every bit the eventual 2006 NFL Champion as ESPN.com's Bill Simmons predicted.
Houston 10, Philadelphia 24 - This game was all about who didn't play. The Texans passed on Reggie Bush, and I'd say Wali Lundy's 32 yards were more than sufficient. No second guessing on that pick, especially when Mario Williams chipped in with two tackles. And the Eagles were playing without their former #1 receiver, Todd Pinkston.
Pittsburgh loses to Cincinnati...in baseball - Hey, I never said we could beat them in baseball. They game a Youman's effort, but the Pirates and Shane Youman fell to the Reds, 4-2. C. Maldonado played for the Pirates today, so I'm assuming that was former San Francisco Giant Candy Maldonado. And if I remember correctly, he was an outfielder. And he's been retired since 1995. So that probably had something to do with the loss. Next up is a highly anticipated series with the Brewers, and unfortunately, neither their racing sausages nor Randall Simon will be at this game.