Big Lead Sports Bar



You've seen the ads featuring the flying pig for the last week during every sporting event on TV: Burger King now has "real" ribs. Be still my beating heart.

Talking myself into the fact that this would surely be a public service to many, many people, I ventured to the nearest BK this afternoon to see exactly what this was all about. I realize this is only related to sports through the barrage of advertising we've encountered, but consider it a brief interlude from the stress of talking about the Pirates and Big Ben for just a few moments.

So here's the deal: the ribs, as I can see, are available only as a six-piece "value" meal for $8.29, (as we inch closer and closer to the $10 fast food meal) or as a three-piece add-on to the value meal, for an extra $3.49. In a moment of cheapness and trepidation, I opted for a Whopper meal with the ribs as a side, with the plan to eat the sandwich later. Ironically, this ended up costing $9.95, the most expensive fast food purchase I've ever made in my 32 years. So cross off the cheapness of going this route.

My order goes in at 12:55, and I wait patiently as the restaurant serves the other two  customers in the place one by one. The order finally comes up at 1:10, a mere 15 minutes after I placed it, on a tray that was so hot I almost dropped it. In retrospect, I probably should've.

Nonetheless, I ventured to a booth to uncrack the small foil bag containing my three Burger King ribs with great curiosity. As you can see from the photo above, calling them ribs is pretty much an insult to anyone who's ever sold or purchased ribs before. They're about the size of a chicken nugget, and roughly 90% of what you get is bone. They actually tasted pretty good (as I remained ignorant to the nutritional value), but like I said, there was barely anything to them. 

With the ribs barely making a dent in my appetite, I ended up eating the sandwich and saving the onion rings for later, which is probably never - BK onion rings don't exactly age like a fine wine. But mission accomplished, and for the mere cost of $10, my health, dignity, and credibility. 

After all that, the verdict is in: McRib is still far and away my fast food pork product of choice, if only it would rear its BBQ-covered head more often. And if you've read this far, thank you for indulging me in this ridiculous post.

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Unknown said...

Thanks for the entertaining read. And no, I will not be ordering the BK ribs...ever.

Unknown said...

i can't believe you ate that!

Louis Lipps is my homeboy said...

BK having ribs was almost as bad as the one we were barraged with during March Madness.

Yes, I'm talking about the two things that no sane person honestly thinks should EVER be mentioned in the same sentence:

Taco Bell and seafood.

I didn't try the shrimp taco, and I doubt I'll be trying these ribs.

AJ said...

I would love to leave a smarmy comment regarding BK's ribs, but last weekend I trimmed, spice rubbed, and spent 6+ hours smoking a rack of ribs at home... and after all of that work they kinda sucked.

I'll leave the BBQ for the experts. It's pretty humiliating when even Burger King seemingly makes better tasting ribs than me.

Steve said...

I hear to counter this move, there will soon be the McScrapple.

Anonymous said...

Great read Don. The real question is, on the heels of Neal Huntington's quote yesterday, what how long did you control the ribs for??

Unknown said...

Ugh. THANK THE LORD for Chick-Fil-A, where they actually serve food instead of this "food."

May God have mercy on your colon.

SantoGold said...

From the picture, you can see that BK's quality of rib meat is the same as their burger quality meat: The always prestigous "Safe for human consumption".

Hope your plumbing was working fine after eating that.

HomeRunFromBehindTheMeatballs said...

Wow, that picture is pretty pathetic... All that 'rib meat' for only $3.49 + tax? Haha, the buck double is the way to go!

expectingrain said...

Awesome report- hopefully this becomes a regular feature: Mondesi vs. Fast Food.

Nate said...

I would completely welcome more posts like this. Just for the record.

Anonymous said...

Damn Steve, now I'll never be happy until I can order a McScapple.