Big Lead Sports Bar

4/20/2009

"TRUE KILLERS, CRIMINALS, MURDERERS, AND PITTSBURGH STEELERS"


Perhaps you remember one Joe Smith. The talented big man from the University of Maryland parlayed his 1995 Naismith Player of the Year award into the #1 overall pick in that year's NBA draft by the Golden State Warriors. He was chosen ahead of players such as Kevin Garnett, Rasheed Wallace, Antonio McDyess, and Jerry Stackhouse, and was the only one of the five to not play in the NBA All-Star Game. His career basically peaked in 1996-97, but that didn't stop Timberwolves GM Kevin McHale from signing Smith to an illegal cap deal that would cost the team three future first-round picks, basically paving the way for the sub-mediocrity they've endured since the deal was struck.

After bouncing around the league, Smith now finds himself in position for a possible ring alongside Lebron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers. And since his days as a starter basically ended in 2005, he's found the extra time to put out a CD under the pseudonym "Joe Beast". There's a good chance I might pass out from the excitement, but I'll try to continue on.

The concept of basketball players releasing CDs is nothing new. We've heard lousy rhymes from wanna-be rappers like Kobe, AI, Shaq, Ron Artest, etc., for years now. But it's this line that truly sets Smith's raps apart from the rest:

"I never been a drug dealer/But I know true killers, criminals and murderers and Pittsburgh Steelers."

As the Cleveland.com columnist profiling Smith adds, "He never reveals which are worse. (He doesn't have to; we know it's the Steelers.)"

HA, HA, HA! Nothing like a cheap shot from respected wordsmith/pine-rider Joe Smith and a disgruntled Clevelandite at the expense of the WORLD CHAMPION Pittsburgh Steelers to get our goats.

As the Cavaliers try to end the city's Epic Fail of a championship sports scene, the Browns are sure giving their fans a lot to get excited about: the trade of Kellen Winslow, the pending trade of Braylon Edwards, the bellyaching of Shaun Rogers, the disastrous offseason of Donte Stallworth, their miserable new coach who never won anything in New York, and the fact that they have now have not one, but two highly-compensated quarterbacks that they don't want. But other than that, Smith and Browns fans have every right to take jabs at the Steelers.

*By the way, Cleveland, I've seen your new tourism video, and I'm not impressed:

Actually, I take that back. That was one of the funniest things I've seen in quite some time.

CD review: "Joe Beast" can't hide the good-guy side of Cavaliers' Joe Smith [Cleveland.com]

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1 comment:

Dave said...

Maybe I'm just being humorless here, but I can't see why that writer from Cleveland even gets mentioned. Obviously what he wrote was tongue in cheek. Even if it wasn't, we're the Super Bowl Champs! Who gives a shit what anybody else, especially those mouth-breathers in Cleveland, have to say about it.