The Pirates Are Embarrassing

The Pirates are very proud of their 2006 All-Star campaign...you know, the one where they encouraged people to "change their cookies" in order to send more votes their way.

Since it worked so well, the Pirates decided to take a similar approach in 2007...and they're encouraging you to vote for their entire team, as this banner ad illustrates:

(Click to see a larger, more embarrassing version)

You've probably seen the ads on the internet, in the newspaper, or on TV by now. But let me ask, how many times did you see it before you realized, "Wait...they're promoting Adam LaRoche for the All-Star Game?"

The Pirates have done some dumb things over the years. I think I've covered that pretty thoroughly. But this one may take the cake. Promoting Jason Bay or Freddy Sanchez last year is one thing. Promoting Jack Wilson, Chris Duffy, Ronny Paulino and Adam LaRoche this year is truly asinine.

What happens if a guy like Paulino gets voted into the All-Star Game? Is it really a victory for the Pirates' PR department to be represented by a guy hitting .217? If they're not already an international punchline, being represented by Paulino would simply perpetuate the jokes.

I'd imagine the case is that Pirates don't want to play favorites and promote one player over another, which is admirable. But I'd also think by now that Chris Duffy realizes he's not as marketable as Freddy Sanchez. At least I'd like to think that. These guys are grownups. If Duffy is hitting .247 with 3 homers, I hope he could recognize that those are not All-Star worthy numbers.

If you ask me, they should just forget about all things baseball at this point and use PNC Park as a giant movie theater showing Pirate Parrot videos. It's pretty sad when the Parrot's Sopranos final-episode parody is one of the top five moments in stadium history.

Rocking the Vote [Tribune Review]

79 Reasons Why It's Hard to be a Pirate Fan [Mondesi's House]

Did the Parrot Get Whacked? [Dorothy Mantooth is a Saint]